2019-08-10 - Alone Again, Naturally

The Honeybun houseboat sits tranquil on the calm waters. With all the bad luck around recently, maybe take-out would have been better, but Jessica promised to cook, and cook she shall do. She often cooks for people she's kissed. Maybe that's why they seldom kiss her twice? And Jessica is even dressed up a little; pants and a nice shirt. Does she think this is a date? Yes...yes she does.

The delicious aroma of well-cooked Mexican food is the first thing that hits Lex as she arrives. And when she knocks on the door, she barely has time for a breath before it is opened and a smiling, blushing Jessica is there. "Hi" she says, unsure what she is supposed to do next. Kiss Lex? She decides that stepping aside to let the woman in is the best course. "Come on in. You look lovely."

Lovely? The compliment has Lex giving Jessica a bit of a dubious look, before tipping a glance down at herself. "I look like I just painted for the last ten hours..." she drawls, still assessing the black leggings and tunic-length grey wifebeater with "NSFW" printed on the front in black ink. That one may even be... 'home-made'. Silver hair has been let loose across her shoulders, but the tell-tale kinks and waves of a recent braid are visible.

"Damn, smells good. I cook... poptarts. What'd you make?" Stepping inside, and glancing toward the kitchen. She made coffee there, once!

Jessica says, "You still look lovely to me" Jessica shrugs, almost apologetically. Thankfully, Lex didn't come armed with braids. "It's nothing fancy" she adds about the food with a wave towards the kitchen. "Red Snapper Vera Cruzana. I hope you like spicy food. I really should have asked that before." Jessica is not good at dating - it's been a while. And it might not even be a date.

"Can I get you a drink? Have a seat. Relax. Did you have a good day at work?""

"I have no fucking idea what that it, but I may or may not be mostly stoned, so I don't think spicy will be a problem." For one who is mostly stoned, she's impressively composed. At least in the unreadable expression and easy movement department. Then again... there's experience at play here. God only knows how many years Lex spent entirely stoned. "You do an interview or somethin' today?" That's her question after glancing over Jessica's own choice of wardrobe. "You look good."

"Work... was work. I'm glad it's over. And... thanks, but I'm good with my weed." Answering all of the questions at once, in no particular order. She's starting toward whatever looks most like a couch, and dropping cross-legged into the corner, propped up by the cushioned back and arm of the furniture.

Stoned? Jessica wasn't expecting that but she will take it all in good grace. She needs to loosen up after all. "Thanks" she smiles at the compliment, doing a little turn. "No, no interview. Umm...I'm dressed for you. I though that after what we did in your bathroom..." It may have been just a kiss but Jessica was naked. She laughs hollowly. "I guess I'm not sure where we're at. I mean, it was only a kiss, right?" She heads into the kitchen to serve up.

Dressed for her? The words have Lex pausing, and jade-green eyes are closing as she exhales quietly. A hand reaches into a small pocket in those leggings, and pulls out a metallic vape. She's taking a long pull off the thing, and holding it in until the following exhale doesn't even have a hint of the vapor remaining. "Mija... I don't even know where I'm at, let alone where I'm at with anybody else." It's a weary admission, and should Jessica actually look back at the tattooist, her eyes remain closed. "If I shouldn't have kissed you, I'm sorry."

"I think I kissed you" Jessica retorts with a blushing laugh, though her eyes are still on serving up food. "And I wanted to. I find you very attractive...both physically and as a person. That you kissed back... It made me very happy. You could have had me there and then if you wanted." She glances over at her guest and tilts her head a little. "Everything okay? I mean, it's been a while for me so, you know, if I'm getting things wrong or seeing things that weren't there, let me know. If we're...if you didn't mean there to be anything. It was just a kiss and that's it. I'll understand."

Lex isn't interrupting, even if her lips do part a few times during Jessica's explanation. When the reporter finishes with 'I'll understand', there's another pull on the vape. "You askin' if things are okay with us, or if I'm okay?" Is the answer different? "Babe... you're hot as hell. Six months ago, I would've had you flat on your back before you even tried kissing me. I like you. But right now... let's just say I don't like myself." She's looking straight ahead, rather than at the other woman. "Puttin' myself in... time-out, I guess you could say."

"If you're okay...and whether there is an us" Jessica clarifies before nodding at the rest of Lex's words. "I guess that's a 'no' to both" she smiles, though it is a hollow smile. "Food's up." She carries over some plates and puts them on the coffee table in front of the couch. "Unless you'd prefer to eat on deck? It's a nice night. Either way, if you want to talk about things, I'm here to listen. I like you if that makes a difference. Harper likes you."

"... I'm not in any us, mija," Lex is sighing, and letting her head back against the couch cushion. Apparently, they're staying inside. At least for now. "And no, 'okay' ain't really a word I'd use for myself right now. But I'm dealing. Always have, always will." She's tipping a glance toward the place on the coffee table, and then glancing back to Jessica. Expression still unreadable, even if her fondness for that vape has left her eyes a bit unfocused. "I like you, too. And her. I'm just... dealing with some shit right now. If I'm here for the wrong reason, I can go..."

"You don't have to deal with things by yourself, Lex" Jessica offers in a soft tone, the food before them as she curls up on the couch alongside Lex. "Even if we're not a thing, I can still support you as a friend." Of course there is someone else. There is a pang of pain in Jessica but it's not as if they're breaking up. There wasn't anything to break up. "You're here because I invited you here to talk. Hardly the wrong reason. So, how can I help? Tell me what's going on."

Lex looks first to the plate, seeming to weigh the pros and cons of moving enough to actually get said food, before giving Jessica another glance. "How long you been in Gray Harbor, babe?" Changing the topic? Or perhaps... clarifying the topic. 'Not okay' outside of Gray Harbor is... distinctly different than 'not okay' in Gray Harbor. These things need specification. "I grew up here. Sixteen years."

"I was born here. Twenty-eight years" Jessica replies with a bright smile. "Do I win?" she adds, teasing a little before her expression turns more serious. And her voice quieter. "I know what happens in this town. Did something happen after the incident at the library with Harper? Something else?" She reaches out to take Lex's hand in hers, squeezing it affectionately.

She was born here? The words have Lex's eyes widening noticeably -- finally, a break in that mask -- and an almost too-quick look toward Jessica has her staring at the other woman with a new sort of scrutiny. A native. Judging by the response, Lex wasn't expecting that. Then again, what can she expect, at this point? "You win," she notes dryly, even as she returns the squeeze to her hand. They may not be a 'thing', but nor is she shying away from the other woman.

"I spent a long time in Seattle. You forget." In case that little detail wasn't already known. "I got back... and, well, shit's different. Still getting a handle on things." A pause, seeming to consider whether or not to continue, before offering a quieter, "Nightmares, mostly. And some of the key features like to show up when I'm awake, too. It's been real fun."

"We're stranger than Seattle?" Jessica teases with a light laugh before nodding sagely. "Yeah, things have been getting stranger" she has to admit, chewing on her lower lip for a moment and looking quite nervous. She has spent a lot of her career hiding what goes on in this town. Not for any cover-up reason, but more because she wants to understand before revealing it to the world. There might even be a Pulitzer at the end of it all.

"What kinds of things are you seeing?" she asks, caressing the hand in hers with slow, understanding touch. "What can you do?" she asks. "You know...the things that some of us can do. You don't do it a lot, do you? From what I've seen, heard, read, over the years...using our gifts attracts them."

There's a smirk at 'stranger than Seattle', but Lex's gaze is drifting away again at 'getting stranger'. She's not exactly agreeing with the other woman, but nor is she disagreeing. Always the safest option, yes?

"Mija... I was on enough smack to kill a horse for about three years. You don't wanna know what I'm seeing." She sounds sincere. Very, very sincere. "And I know what happens when you do stuff. I was pretty fucking stubborn about doing it anyway when I was a teenager. I'm... well-acquainted with the... consequences." Leaving out, oh so casually, just what it is that she 'does'.

"Do you still take heroin?" Jessica asks delicately but without judgement. Lex has been through so much by the sound of it, that she doesn't need to be yelled at. She needs understanding...and love. From someone else if it can't be Jessica. "I do want to know what you are seeing because together we can overcome it. You know that the more of us are in the same...dream...the better we can defeat it. That's how you, Harpo, and the others at the library survived. "Please, tell me what you're seeing. What you're suffering. And I'll help you escape if you let me."

There's a barked sort of laugh as Jessica asks about the drugs, however gently the other woman intended it. "If I were still on heroin, you'd know. I promise." And Lex wouldn't be nearly so dependant on that vape. For what it's worth, she hasn't taken another hit just yet. "I appreciate it," she murmurs after a moment, even daring a longer glance in Jessica's direction. Still avoiding anything remotely akin to eye-contact, but ... it's something. "But I made my own demons. It... ain't somethin' to escape from. It's just there." Because that makes sense.

"Poppycock" Jessica 'swears'. "No martyrs allowed on the Honeybun. Just because they're 'your' demons, doesn't mean no one else can fix them. I won't let a friend be miserable unless I'm the one making them miserable." She thinks on that. "You know what I mean. In a teasing miserable way. First, we are going to share this meal I cooked for us. And while we do so, you're going to tell me all the things that are happening and we're going to come up with plans to resolve anything that needs resolving. And I'll even hand feed you if I have to." She starts cutting up Lex's fish.

Fish. Lex is glancing back to the plate at the mention of food, and there's the slightest hint of a wince before that vape appears again. Silent long enough not to waste any of the drugged mist, she's attempting to get ahead of any unintended offense, "The weed stops nausea." In case Jessica wasn't aware of that medicinal tidbit. "The food's great, but... you probably don't want me eating right now. At least inside." There's a half-smirk then, and the hand that isn't white-knuckling the vape is raised to run through her hair. Stopping around neck level, and likely leaving more than a few tangles in her wake. Layers are a bitch that way. "Let's just say I'm not livin' on Spruce anymore." And leave it at that, it would seem. Because Lex doesn't look inclined to continue.

"Glad I didn't come looking for you there then" Jessica smiles softly before stopping the cutting up of food. It seems her cooking is not desired tonight. "Are the nightmares making you feel sick? I hope the weed is helping." Lex may not want to keep talking but Jessica is a reporter...and a concerned friend. "Where are you living now? If you want to tell me. You don't have to."

"Weed helps. And... not exactly. You ever really done too much?" Finally looking at the other woman, and maintaining that gaze. Waiting for a response. "I mean... seriously brought hell down on yourself."

"Sometimes" Jessica shrugs. "Not the things that they do. Not real Hell. But, you'd be surprised...or not...about the mundane evil that resides in this town. Interview the wrong person. Ask the wrong questions. You can get threats. Feel your life is on the line." This may be a little town but it seems that the criminal life is big, and hungry, when it wants to be. She is more than happy to look into Lex's eyes. Jessica's filled with concern and a desire to help. "What did you do that makes you think that?"

"No," Lex counters, her tone firm, but not harsh. "I mean done the stuff people shouldn't be able to do. You already said you know that it brings down bad mojo. You ever really tasted that bad mojo?" A pause, then, "I ain't talking about waiting for a dealer to shank you, or maybe sayin' somethin' wrong to a person with a gun. That was just... life... for the last five years. I'm talkin' Gray Harbor hell."

"I try not to use what I can do if I can help it. In high school I was less...responsible. I felt them coming for me. Spent time in places I shouldn't have been. Made me want to figure this all out but I try to do that without going back there" Jessica replies as calmly as she can while bringing up some worrying memories. "I've seen too many people turn into gibbering wrecks by trying to taste it over and over again. I vowed not to have that happen to me. And help who I could if it happened to them."

"Yeah, well... I'm not gibbering yet." Dry as parchment. "It's probably different for everybody... but even when I got it mostly shut down, it's ... like bein' seasick when you're holding still." Let alone being on, well, the actual sea. "At least now. When I was a kid, it was more like a bad trip. And I didn't have nearly the repertoire of lovely images to follow me around." A half-smirk at that, and then a one-shouldered shrug. "I'm sorry about the food. I'd have said somethin', but it wasn't bad when we were texting."

"That's okay" Jessica shrugs about the food. "You being well is the most important thing. If you want to stay the night then you can have my bed. Nothing but talking and a safe place to stay is being offered. Promise. I can pack the food up and donate it to the homeless. Or take it in for Harper or something. It's fine. One thing I have discovered, is that it is definitely different for everyone. We all bring our own demons for them to play with. Do you still use your gifts?"

"Yeah," is her too-simple response to Jessica's last question. "It... hasn't really been a choice. So now I wait it out. You been there, mm?" There goes her gaze again, this time flickering toward the door. "Listen, I... really shouldn't even be sayin' this." That's the funny thing about weed and self-discretion. "I'm sorry." She's starting to sit up on the couch, pushing herself out of the corner she'd huddled into. "I need to head out, mija. Need to walk."

"Why are you sorry? I want you to talk. And you should be saying these things. We all should be. How else are we going to figure it all out? " Jessica frowns as Lex makes to go. "Are you sure? Do you really think wandering the streets at night is the wisest thing to do?" A little laugh. "Though I guess that's how we met." She stands, still hoping the other woman will stay. "Up to you."

"I'm sorry, mija," Lex is sighing, even as she climbs to her feet. "'Nother time, maybe?" And then the silver-haired woman is starting toward the door, and there's not much -- short of physical force -- that is going to keep her from disappearing through it.

Jessica certainly won't be using force. Her expression sad as she gives a wave goodbye to Lex. Watching her from the door of the houseboat until she is out of sight, it is Jessica's turn to sigh as she turns back into her lounge room and the uneaten meals she had been cooking for hours. She starts to sing 'Alone Again, Naturally' as she gets to cleaning up the kitchen.