2019-09-28 - DJ Dental Vlog

A brief fanfare over a hot pink screen before it fades into the waist up image of Park sitting in front of a wall decorated with a Pokemon Identification Chart. She wears an overlarge sweatshirt decorated with a large, smiling mouth. The young woman, despite being in the grips of the flu, grinning broadly and enthusiastically waving at the camera.

“Hello! Welcome to my music Vlog!” Her voice is a bit croaky from her illness but no less excited. “My name is Mee Park. Or Park Mee if you prefer. And, yes, people make fun of my name. But at least my name is not Fook. Get it?” An expression on her face that suggests she is expecting a reply before proceeding. “I work as a DJ at the Platinum Cabaret where I help the lovely ladies dance your cares away. My professional name is DJ Dental. That’s a play on ‘mental’ and that I’m learning dentistry at college; use soft brushes but not whitening toothpaste. One day I hope people will go ‘It’s DJ Dental, damn!’.” Park giggles a little. “That’s a little dentist joke. Dental dam.” She purses her cracked lips. “Probably not something most people get.”

“I’m also in a band called ‘Augmented Reality’ and this…” She gestures to the room around her. “…is where we all live. Like the house in ‘The Monkees’ or the one The Beatles had in the ‘Help’ movie. Or maybe the one in ‘The New Monkees’. Anyone else remember that? So, it was suggested to me by the lovely barkeeper at the Cabaret, Love, that I do a music Vlog. And maybe even tell tales of the exotic dancing club life. Thank you, Love, for the clever idea. And how awesome would it be to be called ‘Love’? How could anyone stay mad at you? No one is ever going to say, ‘I hate you, Love!’. I don’t think it is even possible to say things like that. And if you ever meet Love, you would never want to anyway.”

“What will happen is that I will hit random on Youtube to find a song. Then we can watch it together, and then I will give my professional review. Though I’m technically not a professional musician. No one has paid me yet. Not even to be quiet…that’s a good thing. So, let’s see what we get.”

“Ooh…this looks interesting. ‘Evisceration Plague’ by Cannibal Corpse. Quite apt too with the flu that is going around town. What is a Cannibal Corpse? Is that a zombie? No, that can’t be right. If zombies were cannibals, then they’d eat other zombies. But they eat non-dead people. Here’s a question for people. When does a zombie stop eating a person? When they die but before reanimation? So, a zombie knows immediately when the blood stops pumping, stops eating, and wanders off to leave their new recruit come back to life with whatever bits of the body are left? Or do they wait until the body is cold? Continuing to nibble while the virus takes effect? Inquiring minds want to know!”

“Let’s hit play.”

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After the song finishes, the image is back to a slightly paler looking Park. “That was…nice. I think the singer, was he a relative of Cousin It. had the flu too. I sound just like that when I sing at the moment. Was the drummer drumming to the same song? He looked very relaxed compared to everyone else. And, even with my blocked ears, I could understand words every now and then. Yay! ‘Plague leads to death’ was in there? He’s not wrong. I’m living proof of that.” Her eyes narrow. “Can you be living proof of death? That was a song where the voice is used to drive the riff rather than carry a melody. The video clip made me feel a bit queasy though. What was with the guy who injected himself? That black stringy stuff. Was that his intestines or a stray thread? And, seriously, less throwing up would have been nice.” Her face screws up with distaste.

“The worst thing for a sick person is seeing someone be sick. I think I upset a lot of people at a pool party the other day when I did that. Everyone disappeared in, like, seconds, after I hurled. At least I didn’t get it in the pool. And it’s good for plants, right?”

“Okay, I think that is enough talking about being sick for now. Sorry it was such a short Vlog tonight, but it will get better as I get better. So nice to meet you all! If you have any comments, I’d love to hear them…read them.” Park manages to summon a big grin and a wave for the audience. “If you’re sick, get well. If you’re well…awesome!!” Double thumbs up from the vlogger. “See you soon.”