2019-10-09 - Requiem for an Eggroll

7pm. The day...ends in 'y' (he believes), and he spent a good chunk of the afternoon juggling a doctors' office visit to get his hearing aides re-calibrated and after that a meeting with his therapist who, predictably, wants to switch up his meds he really has little interest in. This was noooo way to spend his day off. He is tired, hungry, and thoroughly over adulting. "Heeeeeey, Fam." The call of the mildly stoned. There is a vacuous answer in the shape of silence as Greg, Daisy,and Robert seem to be out and... well maybe about.

His backpack is dropped off and his board dropped nest to it; the wheels bouncing. "Well," Says he to no one in particular, "Looks like it's a Kevin McAllister night." Home alooooooone. Starving he opens the fridge to see it barren and then catches a sight, out of the corner of his eye. In the trash... the Chinese food container on it's side, it's life's rice pouring out discarded like a body dump.

The magenta haired skater just stares in object horror, eyes watering. Likely this is do to the sharp smell coming from the trash, but he will tell you it's because SOMEONE around here cares. "No... n-no no NO noooo, don't be- aaaaaaw shit!" He sniffles and draws the back of his hand across his cheek to dry it and then, sensibly, pulls the bag out, ties it and goes to deposit it in the dumpster and just change the bag.

We would love to tell you, the viewer, that our story stops here.
If you believe this is so then you have either not met Grant, or have not been paying attention.

Upon arrival back in Casa de Fam Grant decided to call for food. One.
This is important!

Next he does what a Grant does best and that's get out his markers, and the scissors and heads back outside. Eleven minutes and thirty-seven later he comes in with two fists full of marigolds that their neighbor's potted porch plants are now bereft of. He leaves them in a pile while taking paper from the printer and folds it into an origami Chinese food container that lays flat. Running into the bathroom he takes the frame off the wall. Hey, it came with the trailer. opening it up he tapes the memento of the delivery container in there and with his army of markers makes an explosive memorial backdrop in pop color art style before reassembling it.

Returning to the trash can (now empty and smelling of vanilla thanks to the bag) he sets the frame prominently on the floor and adds from the other room a couple UFO teddy bears in rainbow assortment that they won down on the boardwalk. The ensconcing of marigolds follows adding from the bathroom some votive candles (unlit), offerings of pine chopsticks still in their to-go wrapper, delivery grade napkins folded into origami ducks, and ...where the hell the mardi gras beads came from who knows.

He eyes this hilarious macabre masterpiece trying to figure out what it's missing. Finally he rescues a bar napkin from the stack that was stolen and stashed in the cupboard (thank you Pourhouse!). It needs bad poetry starting with the line, "You were gone too soon from this world..." It gets more ridiculous and illegible from there.

Satisfied he sniffles. and presses two fingers to the glass.
"Little sadness greater than wasting good pork fried rice."

And that is life with Grant Baxter in a nutshell.