2019-12-05 - Not Freaking Out Too Much

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Hi! Random question! How do you feel about guns in the house?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : o.O

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Why...?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No reason! Lol I was just thinking of maybe getting one.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Do you know how to shoot one?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Harvey's roommate who I'm not sure exists but he swears he does owns a gun store.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I know how! Mostly rifles and shotguns but it can't be too hard

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Is it the one on our street?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Those sound like famous last words to me! And yes, they live upstairs. It's very suspect.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Perhaps you should not buy a gun from them. They probably sell guns other places. It's Washington State, after all.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No, I'd be careful!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : And I'm sure there are. There's a gun shop in Elma. There's probably more here.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Is there a reason? Like you just got a hankering to shoot some bottles or...?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It doesn't hurt to be prepared!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Have you seen the news lately?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Are you going to shoot protestors or something? Because I really don't think that is a good idea. They will arrest you.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Why would I shoot protestors?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : idk, why WOULD you shoot protestors?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I wouldn't!

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Then who are you going to shoot!

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm so confused 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : But you never know when a murderer might break in the house or feral hogs rampage through the yard or elves or something.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Or mountain lions.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Or a murderer riding a mountain lion being chased by feral hogs ridden by elves!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm serious! I don't know there won't be any of those things.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : There's a lot of crime in Gray Harbor.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Well. Yes. And other things. <.< That guns I don't think are very useful against.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm sure I can't shoot climate change but I can shoot murderers and wild animals and elves.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : At least I can scare them off. I don't want to shoot anything.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I wouldn't be sure you can shoot elves.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Did you SEE an elf?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm pretty sure you can shoot elves.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Why are you pretty sure you can shoot elves?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : You can kick elves.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Did you kick an elf? 😃

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No I did not kick an elf.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It's not funny.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm sorry. I'm sure it wasn't.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Did you see someone else kick an elf?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Not like Legolas. It was one of those Santa's elves they have for the holidays downtown.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I had a feeling. Are you okay?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm fine.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Except it made you want to get a gun.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Did nothing weird like this ever happen to you before you came here? <.<

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm not a wizard so I can't shoot fireballs! That's a thing too.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I think wanting a gun is perfectly reasonable and rational.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : We just have the regular sort of elves in Elma.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : [...]

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Are you just going to carry the gun around with you everywhere?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Not to the hospital obviously.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Ok. I'm only asking because like that stuff happens all the time just so you know, so having a gun at the HOUSE is good at the HOUSE but like it won't do you any good at the Waffle Shoppe or the park or the front porch if it comes detached again and yeah.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Maybe it happens to YOU all the time. It doesn't happen to me all the time when I'm awake and sober.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Are you sure? Because you told me about the weird cat with the ham sandwich and now the elf so that's twice

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Which okay isn't ALL THE TIME but I think my point still stands!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Thank you. You're not helping at all.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm sorry. 🙁 What can I do to help?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I don't know. Do you know how to make an elf go away?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Not off the top of my head. Is the elf still HERE?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Usually those things go away. <.<

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No, it's fine. They're gone.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I just want to know what to do. Google isn't really helping.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Are you Googling how to kill elves??

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I was looking at spells or wards against elves but it's all from video games or fantasy books.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : You won't ever find answers from the rest of the world or mainstream or whatever you want to call it 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm sure someone must've done a Youtube tutorial about this.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Even if they did, you'll never find it. It's very hard to explain. 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : But you know about these things! Where can I learn this, then?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Is there a secret room in the city library?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I was stuck in the elevator there for hours but I can take the stairs.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I know about these things because they have been happening to me since I'm 12. 🙁 I don't think you will find help at the library. 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm so sorry. Hugs.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : It's ok. You don't really get USED to it but like you kind of develop a tolerance or idk how to put it right. 🙁

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm sorry you're just like learning all this HERE. 🙁 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm still buying a gun.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Ok but maybe don't shoot anything that you're not sure is real?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Or that you are sure is real?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : omg which one is worse!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : And I knew there were things out there but they're ghosts and energies and things like that, they're not supposed to be real, they're supposed to just be annoying and go away if you stop thinking about them.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : This is extremely rude.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : The elves ate my bag.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : That's real enough. They had sharp teeth and they wanted to eat my Christmas shopping.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Did you let them?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I had just been shopping.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Good. God knows what they might do to you if they run off with some of your stuff!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : But they made a hole in the bag and some things fell out.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : There were other people there. One of them is a wizard.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Probably not a wizard though

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I know a wizard when I see one. He cast fireball.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : A lot of people can do things. <.<

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I can do things. <.<

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Can you cast fireballs?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : No but I could give you a list of people in town who can 🙂

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : You can do that thing with the paper, I know, I was trying to ignore it.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Probably it would be better for you to stop ignoring those things.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : And I don't need someone who can shoot fireballs.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : If you had someone who could shoot fireballs on standby, you wouldn't need a gun!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Are any of these people small enough to fit in my pocket?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : No, but that would be an amazing ability! I wonder if anyone can shrink things!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : If I can't carry them around it doesn't really help me if I'm attacked by elves again. <facepalm emoji>

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I wish that you could DO things. 🙁 It would be very much better for you.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I can shoot a gun.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I could get another cat.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Why would you get another cat?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : There are a lot of cats in need of a home.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm not sure how that will help you with the elves.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Witches have cats. Maybe I can get a witchy cat.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Do you want me to ask Harvey if his imaginary roommate will sell you a gun? I don't think it will do you as much good as you think it will, but maybe it will make you feel better. 🙂

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Look, these people were kicking elves and yeeting them across the street so I'm sure a gun would have helped. I tried to stab one of them with knitting needles.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm taking up knitting, I think.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm sure that will be very therapeutic and also fashionable 🙂

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It's more portable than a sewing machine at least, but I don't know if I have the patience for it.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I tried crochet before.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I can probably just walk in and buy a gun. I think I need a license to carry it but it's not too hard to get.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : How do you do it?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : [link to a page about how to get a concealed carry permit in WA state]

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I never did it before though but it can't be that hard.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No, how do you live with these things?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : oh lol 😃 😃

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I guess because there's no other choice?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : What would you do if some elves with sharp teeth jumped out of nowhere and started eating your shopping bags?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : sigh because that kind of thing really happens to me all the time 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm sorry.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : It's ok, sometimes it's very interesting!

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : But also I can hurt things if I have to.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I have lucid dreams sometimes. But it doesn't work with these ones.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I think they are more real than dreams but less real than real things?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Except definitely they're also real.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : But not real to everyone.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : But real enough.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Reality is complicated.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I've been having weird dreams too.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I always had those though. Usually not with other people in them, though.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Gosh that would be embarrassing.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : You're the only person in all your dreams???

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I bet a shrink would have a field day with that!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No I mean other real people.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I mean people who are dreaming too at the same time and having the same dream I am. That's not normal.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I don't think you should use words like normal 🙂

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : But that is why the gun won't be as useful as you want it to be.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm definitely not telling any of this to a shrink.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Just find a shrink that is also SPECIAL.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I haven't gone to one in forever anyway, not starting now.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I am going to be honest with you.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : If you don't find some way to cope

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : You will not make it.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I am coping.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It's probably too late for me to get into Hogwarts, so I'm buying a gun.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : It doesn't work like that. Sometimes people learn to do things when they are old. Sometimes they are born that way. Most of the time, people can DO things when they start to SEE things though.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I feel bad for you that you can't DO things.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Practically the best I know of! Also taking pictures of cats, you are very good at that too 🙂

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : The one with Brendan Frasier?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : <A picture of Chickpea inside a shopping bag, nose peeking out of a tear in the holiday-print material.>

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I can do things. I'm very good at starting IVs.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Have you ever seen the Mummy? The one with Rachel Weisz?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Yes.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Think this works?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : <Gif of Brendan Fraser holding up a cat and the Mummy person flinching back in horror.>

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Yes! If you ever meet a mummy, definitely do that.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Well, unless maybe it is a special kind of mummy like if it's made out of whipped cream or has black holes for eyes or something

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : How would a mummy be made of whipped cream?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : How are elves real?

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : They weren't real elves, they were just things that looked like elves.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Santa's elves make presents and are nice.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Until they aren't. 🙂

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Then they aren't really Santa's elves.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : They wanted to eat presents, that's wrong.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Or we've all been wrong all along about what elves want.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : No.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : You can't discount the possibility!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Watch me!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : We made them up and they should act normal.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : This is probably because of horror movies.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I bet the elves were all nice before we started making horror movies about evil elves.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : No there are bad things that use things like those elves to hurt people or get us to hurt each other.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : What, the devil?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I think maybe that's where the idea of the devil comes from.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Why would they do that?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : The easiest way to explain it is that they like eat suffering?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : The subsist on it.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : That can't possibly taste good.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Suffering tastes bad.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : That's how I feel about chipotle but people eat that all the time so there's no accounting for taste!

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : <Picture of Abby's hand petting Chickpea on top of the shopping bag.>

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : Of course there is. These things are awful and have awful taste.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Chickpea eats cat food and that can't possibly taste good!

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Anyway the point is that they make the bad things I think. Or make us make the bad things. Doesn't matter which is true

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I refuse to make bad things! They can eat my whole butt instead.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I wish I had the words to describe the mental image in my head now...

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It's not like people need devils to do bad things and cause suffering.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I'm not very good at explaining it. 🙁

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : So what can we do to make them go away?

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : I don't know. 🙁 They like us to use our abilities so sometimes if you just don't then it's fine but then you don't have any so I guess that doesn't do you any good.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'll shoot them. I'll get a nun to bless the bullets.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : In case the REAL and NOT REAL waters weren't muddy enough already!

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : They aren't REAL so you can't shoot them.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I have to go pet Chickpea. She's being needy.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : Ok! I am sorry if I stressed you out. I know it is weird, but you will be ok! <3

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : It's okay! It's not your fault.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : I'm buying two guns.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : One for me and one for Chickpea.

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : And thank you. I'm not freaking out too much or anything, I'll be fine.

(TXT to Abby) Hailey : NP <3 I have met people who take it MUCH worse than you are. 🙂

(TXT to Hailey) Abby : That reminds me I should talk to someone. Right after petting Chickpea.