2020-01-27 - Is My Reality A Lie?

Esme was sitting in the spare room of her parent’s house - her work room. She wasn't working tonight though. Tonight she was staring at one of those fake fireplace videos on the television and working her way through a bottle of vodka. She wasn’t an alcoholic. She rarely drank unless it was social. But she always kept a bottle of something tucked away for those times when the only thing you wanted was to go numb. Tonight was one of those nights.

She was still trying to process what had happened at the precinct. The dead-not-dead Detective Jones, the way de la Vegas and Yule were acting so casual. The crazy forest before it was all...gone. Everything back to normal. After she’d said she was going home - Esme did just that. She drove straight home, turned off her phone and now here she was.

I’m convinced I’m losing my mind. I mean, I’ve mentioned it to Yule before I guess. That it’s not out of the realm of possibility for cryptids of some sort of exist. But pocket dimensions? Cannibal like creatures that can skin a person with their goddamn hands? No. That’s a line I refuse to cross. That’s insanity.

Another gulp of the flavorless Vodka is taken, leaving only the burning sensation in her throat and her eyes growing a little heavier.

But they were both so calm. So...casual about it. That’s what really gets me. How can you be so calm about what we saw? The only logical thing is that I was hallucinating. Except...I know they were both actually there. Yule said we had to talk but I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to remember any of the shit that went on tonight. Except the new leads.

Esme stares down at her nearly empty cup and then glances towards the half-empty bottle of Vodka. She shouldn’t drink more. She’s already going to have some kind of hangover. Just...let it go. She sighs heavily and knocks back the rest of the glass before setting it down by the bottle and then stretches out on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

If what we saw tonight is real. If it’s not just a figment of my imagination. What does that mean? The entirety of everything I’ve known is...a lie? There’s a whole other world out there? A fucking dangerous one at that might I add. I’m glad we weren’t stuck here.

The detective groans, covering her face with her hands.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know if I can trust myself. My own eyes...my own thoughts. Because it felt like the weird dream I had that had Thewlis and those other people in it. A dream but...more than that...and disorienting. Maybe I just need to sleep on it and the morning light will shed some understanding.

She swings her legs around to plant back on the floor, pushing herself up and pausing. Steadying herself before she starts making her way towards her bedroom. She doesn’t even get changed into her PJs or undress. Esme just falls into the bed and closes her eyes. Hoping for sleep and no extra surprises.