2020-05-28 - Everyone Else Is Doing It

It might be hard to believe, but this week made it official: Elise has been putting up with Graham (and letting Graham put it in Elise) for a year straight now. Thus, the morning starts as it always does, but this time it somehow transcends the bounds of all other mornings if only because the interlude involves breakfast in bed, and what better way to spice up tradition than with syrup and whipped cream? Then it was time for a shower (with extra scrubbing if you know what I mean 😉 ) and now, finally, sometime around mid-afternoon, Elise is hopping downstairs with Mew under one arm and her yoga pants on, but only because they make her butt look really good. "So," she sets Mew atop her kitty castle in the living room and turns about to raise her brows at Graham, hands settling on her hips. "I kept asking myself what to get a guy who already has," steals, "everything and I decided it's all about experiences." There's a brief pause as her brows inch up higher.

"And that's why I'm taking off next week and we're going to take the Malibu on a road trip down to San Francisco," which is a pretty long drive if this map is any indication, "And bang in all the state parks. Or major cities. Whichever is greater? I haven't figured that part out yet."

Graham is following Elise down the stairs, because she's wearing her yoga pants and they make her butt look good. He's not hard to please. He's pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, patted the top of his head in lieu of combing his hair, and had every intention of strolling on out the back door to deal with his ongoing addiction to nicotine, after he stopped to kills Elise on the cheek in passing. This means he just remains stopped while she goes on to share her musing about what to get him, and the lips pressed to Elise's cheek brighten with a grin. "But what if I can't get the time off?" he asks upon pulling back from mooshing her cheek, looking terrified by this prospect, big worried eyes and all. "You can't leave me here by myself, I'll almost definitely die." So would the cat.

It only lasts a second before he's all wrapping her up in his arms again, crowding into her personal space without hesitation. His ardent, "I love you," also suggests 'thank you for having great ideas <3' and is followed by a brilliant idea. "BOTH!"

Elise rolls her eyes at him as she leans into the cheek mooshing, laying a hand on his chest to press him back towards the sofa. Maybe this was some well-contrived way of preventing him from indulging his incredibly disgusting vice; it didn't look like she was going to willingly let him go out the back door, at least not without a fight. "I know how hard you work, baby, but I already cleared it with the boss," she totally means herself, btw, she values her lie too much to go to Felix. "And the boss says that she needs to get out of this crazy fucking town for a week which means you have to go, because I don't want to come back to your ghost," she beams a smile at him, tips up onto her toes, and plans a kiss on his lips before he gets all up in her space.

"I love you, too," she slips her arms about his neck, snickering under her breath at his enthusiasm for her idea, "I think we can definitely do both. Have you ever been to San Francisco? I've always wanted to go," she starts encouraging him backward, away from any hope of having a smoke. "We can go see Alcatraz," which is where Graham would've totally wound up a hundred or so years ago.

Before Elise made an honest man out of Graham <.<, he used to roam around, robbing people or scamming them, which tended to mean he didn't exactly settle in one place for very long. So he nods promptly about having been to San Francisco, tacking on helpfully, "But. I never fucked my way from Seattle to San Fran, so this'll be all new." With a sappy smile back at her beam. (That comes after his eyes try to bulge out out of his head for a second at the notion of Elise clearing things with the boss, then return to normal when he gets the joke, ahaha.) There's no effort made to fight this whole stay-here thing that Elise has going on, just a short bark of laughter about Alcatraz. "I don't think they're gonna let us bang there, though."

But he narrows his eyes a second, thinking about the logistics anyway. "Who's gonna feed the cat?" HE HAS GROWN UP SO MUCH IN A YEAR! Ignore handsiness.

There's a subtly dangerous squint in Graham's direction when he talks about never fucking his way form Seattle to San Fran. "I mean I would hope you've never fucked your way from here to anywhere," and if he did, he should keep his mouth shut. "But I guess it's a good thing you haven't? Because I'd really hate to have to go murder whoever gave you that experience," she tacks on with a forced heavy sigh, that statement likely proving why they're made for one another <3 But she dismisses the thought with a shake of her head, before she gives him a skeptical sort of look at the talk of NOT banging in Alcatraz. "Really? I figured someone as crafty as you could figure out a way to make that happen, but I suppose if you don't wanna get in trouble..." There's a daring sort of smirk, though the teasing is abruptly interrupted by his responsible question.

She leans back, brows popping back up as that smirk of hers turns into a full blown grin, the gleam in her eyes suggesting that Sudden Responsible Graham gets her as horny as Irresponsible Graham. Her hands go flat on his chest once more and she shoves him the rest of the way to the sofa, and he better sit but she's going to climb ontop of him whether he does or not. "Andre," is the obvious answer. "Who still thinks I'm pregnant and we're going on our babymoon. I didn't have the heart to tell him, but you think he'd have figured it out by now.. I don't look fat, do I?" Loaded question.

Graham looks right in Elise's squinted eyes (omg that is so racist) and lies right to her face. "Of course I haven't." Look how convincing he is! Or would be if you would quit spending all her XP to ruin all his XP. Anyway, he tells a lie that would be credible to anyone else and dumps his ass right back on the sofa, the better to be climbed upon. There's another short burst of laughter at the idea of Andre coming over and feeding the cat every day, but he doesn't try to talk her out of making the big guy a cat-sitter, just an audibly loud clap of his hand to her ass.

He's not lying this time! "Nope." She does not look fat. "Did he tell you that he thinks this is a babymoon? Cuz that's pretty fucking precious." Since she's here and he's obviously not going to get to smoke, he loops both arms around Elise and informs her - after he's done snickering at Andre using the word 'babymoon' - "I have something in my pants for you." Eyebrows. He wags 'em.

"Uh huh," it doesn't matter how much XP I spend to ruin your XP spends - Elise has been banging Graham for so long now, she knows deep down inside of her when he's lying. Deep inside. So deep. But she comes down onto his lap anyway, only to get smacked right on the ass - which just results in her bouncing up with a yelp and another squint of her squinty eyes when she settles back down into him.

"He definitely did tell me that we're going on a babymoon. And all about how you promised to name the baby Andre, even if it was a girl, and you're going to absolutely break that poor man's precious heart when we don't come back with an actual child," she exaggerates a frown at him, but it's really hard to pretend to be mad when he's telling her about presents in his pants, soo...

"Oh yeah? Is it big?" she tips her head, slow dragging her hand from the collar of his shirt down over his stomach, heading straight for the front of his pants. "I hope it's a pony! I always wanted a pony."

"First off, we could get an actual child if we need one, just to spare Andre. There are like forty of them at the park every day." Yes, he's talking about stealing children like they're wallets. "Pick a little enough one, and it won't even know its name isn't Andre." Graham beams, because he's a problem-solver, and also because the front of his pants are getting attacked, awesome. "Second off, you're making it very hard - " Ahahahaha. " - to not say it's totally a pony, and you should go for a ride."

He's not done with the awesome jokes, though. "Lemme throw you a bone here." See? AWESOME JOKE. But he means in the normal sense of the idiom, not the sense of fucking her right now, and peels one of her hands off the front of his pants, doing some awkward/fun shimmying of his hips so he can stuff her hand in his pocket. Only to realize, "Wrong pocket." That one just as cigarettes in it. He figures she can get to the right one from there, doesn't stuff her hand down the other pocket for her.

"We are not kidnapping an actual child, G, oh my God!" Elise rolls her eyes at him, taking a brief detour from heading straight down to bone town in order to thwap him on the shoulder. "Besides, if we steal one, it wouldn't have your eyes." And hopefully Elise's intelligence. She pecks him on the nose and then gets back to making things hard, only for him to divert her hand - which was absolutely going down the front of his pants - into his pocket instead. The wrong pocket. "You really should quit, you know," she says for what is probably the one hundredth time today, and slips her hand back out.

Elise is smart enough to get to the right pocket, but she takes a quick trip to the front of his pants for a quick squeeze before she goes present-diving. What could even be in there?!

Graham's mumble absolutely has the words 'oh yes i will too kidnap a child if i feel like it' in there, but he does that thing where he's juuuuuust quiet enough that Elise can choose to ignore him with a clean conscience. Like how he chooses to ignore her harping about smoking. That's love right there.

Another example of how much Graham loves Elise is that he doesn't grope her even once while she's dealing with pockets. He thinks about it, twitchy fingers tapping on the top of her thighs like they're about to get bored and go do stuff, but he waits it out. ANOTHER example is that the thing she's rummaging for is a blue-felt ring box. Inside the blue-felt ring box is a ring made out of platinum with a diamond stuck to the top of it. It bears mentioning that Graham DID NOT STEAL THIS ring, so when that inevitably comes up later on? She should just take his word for it.

Anyway, he stops talking about kidnapping so Elise can find the thing in his pants that's neither his dick nor his cigarettes. That's also love right there.

Elise loves Graham just as much, which is why she ignores all that mumbling about kidnapping and does the squeezy-squeeze thing with his dick instead. That's TRUE love right there. She eyes his twitchy fingers on her thighs, but she loves him so much that she scoots up a little closer all under the guise of really getting her hand up in his pocket, which makes his hands ride up a little higher. "Ah-ha, found it!" she announces with a little laugh when she snags her fingers around the box and pulls it out, and the fact that it's a ring box should trigger something, but in spite of all that posing about how smart Elise is, she doesn't seem to get it. "It's too small for a pearl necklace," wink wink, nudge nudge, "So I'm going with pearl..earrings? Hmm! Curious," she tips the box this way, tilts her head the other way, and squints between him and the box, and then gets with the opening.

"Another pair of earrings would be nice, I.." there she was, chattering away, until she's got the box open and there's not earrings in there. Whatever she had to say gets lost in her throat and now it's time for her eyes to go bulging right out of her head. There's a solid thirty seconds of gawking at this ring before she looks up from the diamond and back to him, at a loss for words in the moment.

The amount of bitten that Graham's tongue gets during all her guesses... Anyway, he waits it out. He didn't spend all his bug-out money just to ruin the moment by making jokes about pearl necklaces.

She looks up with her bulging eyes, and he raises his eyebrows as far up as they'll go, leaning his head forward to a questioning angle. For a guy that runs his mouth all day everyday, he sure waits a while before actually SAYING anything, but he gets around to it eventually. He stops just futzing around with her legs, scoots his hands around on behind her back instead so it's less grabby and more holdy, this arrangement, and says seriously, "I'm never gonna deserve you, El," and keeps going quickly so she doesn't try to argue that point, "but I've been in love with you since I'm fifteen. Which I figure counts for something." His hands come off her long enough to make weighing motions; they do this behind her back, so that's not really information she needs, but that's what they're doing for a second before they drop loosely onto the back of her hips again. "And I know this year hasn't been perfect," what with certain people getting arrested, certain other people getting murdered, et cetera, "but it's been - " He takes a breath, should probably have stuck to his prepared remarks but now he's gone off-script so. "Fuck it. Elise, you make me happy, and I promise I'll be good to you." All of that to say, "You wanna get married?" Er. "To me?"

Fair warning: If she says no, this scene ends with murder-suicide.

Later, Elise is going to regret making her own pearl necklace jokes. But at least he didn't join in to further ruin the moment! Go G!

Anyway, there's an awful lot of quick glances between him and the ring, the ring and him, back to the ring again, while he waits this FOREVER MOMENT to actually say anything at all. She even turns the box upside down in this interim, as though expecting it to say 'Belated April Fools!' or 'I stole this from somebody's blind grandma and figured it'd look nice on you and this doesn't mean what you think it means!'. But there's nothing on the bottom of the box. There's just the ring in the box. And the boy who's lap she's chosen to take as a seat, who finally starts talking.

There's quite a lot of emotion in those big brown eyes of hers - none of it bad, all of it her staring at him in rapt awe as he goes off script and gets to the question that goes along with this kind of ring. But he doesn't manage to tack on the 'to me' part, because she rather abruptly, immediately, shouts an incredibly enthusiastic: "YES!" before she practically throws herself at him to kiss him with just as much excitement as the shout.

Graham should have left the receipt in the box, just to put the cherry on top of what has to rate among the world's least perfect proposals. No flowers, no candles, no music, he didn't even go down on one knee. At least he has a big-bright-smile... that she sees for about a half-second before even that gets overridden by all the excited kissing. Which he makes no effort to break. Yet again, he doesn't immediately start groping Elise; his hand is just bouncing around in an effort to find the ring-box by touch in the midst of all that kissing, and the fact that he squeezes a boob in the middle of it is totally a coincidence and not on purpose. Anyway, he eventually peels the box out of her hands, stops kissing her, and does the whole thing with putting this ring on her finger for her, all intensely focused on this task.

"A'ight, that's done." And he claps both hands onto her ass again, loudly. "I gotta go smoke." That's a lie. He just wants her to make him stay here more.

Hey now, it might not have been an extravagant proposal, but it was perfect to Elise. At least he didn't propose in the Waffle House or something. And she proves just how perfect it is for her with all that elated, over-eager kissing that she's doing while he gropes blindly for the box, his accidental boob squeeze answered with a purposeful crotch squeeze until she realizes he's trying to get the ring box and not like, you know, get jiggy with it. So when he breaks the kissing to take her hand and do the whole ring-on-finger thing, it really hits her - and there's a moment where, briefly, her eyes get all shimmery and her hand shakes, but she holds it out to him with a great deal of anticipation. "It's beautiful, G. I love you so much," she beams at him.

And then she gets smacked on the ass again, causing her to jump against him. "Oh no you don't!" she retorts, taking one last glance at the ring on her finger before she grabs him up by the shirt to pull him in for another kiss. Graham was, sadly, not going to get to smoke for a good part of the afternoon. But you know, she's definitely going to go down on him, so hopefully that makes up for it.

hold up graham has a good line to get out first

It's beautiful, she says, and he says, "Nah, it's just sparkly carbon. You're beautiful." Now she can go down on him.

If it wasn't definite before, Elise was DEFINITELY going down now. And it's gonna be TRANSCENDENT.