2021-12-09 - On love and oh god please don't say that

The room isn't what Gabriella would remeber from her younger years. For one, that was a totally different house. For another it had a strange feeling of emptiness. Sure, all of Gail's belongings are there, each of them infused with a lifetime of memories. Sure they look almost identical to how Gail had them, the only allowances made being for the different architecture.

It is evening, eight o'clock, a time when old ladies are setting in bed with a book, reading glasses, and the bedside lamp. Outside the door Gabby can move as quietly as she wishes, Gail will still hear.

"Is that you Gabby? Would you come here a moment please? " She calls out to the hallway.

But her Grandpa didn't live here. He didn't love Gail here. So the house is a house, but it shall soon be a home. Gabriella moves through the area inching towards her room before she hears the call from her Grandmother. There is a quick inspection of herself. Nothing is too immodest. It's just jeans and a tshirt. She does quickly put on socks.

"Hey.."

A smile as she comes into the room.

"What can I do for you?"

See, Gabby gets it. The spirit of that family just isn't here yet - if it ever can be quite like that again. Having Gabby does help, but Roland Leigh is very prominent in his absence.

Gail pats the edge of her bed, inviting Gabriella to come and sit. That gesture is unchanged. How many times when Gabby was little did some come crawl into her grandmother's bed not unlike this.

"You are always on the move but I want to see how you are. Come talk with me."

"Sharks. If you stop moving, you are dead."

There is more truth to that in Gabriella Leigh's life than she would like to admit. However, the young woman curls right into her granny's bed as if she was five instead of twenty years past that mark. She snuggles right up next to the woman too as she hmms.

"What would you like to talk about?" Wuhoh. Is she in trouble?

"No shark would get you here. " A reasonable promise. Gail makes room for her to snuggle in, setting an arm about Gabby to smooth down some stay going hair.

"I am concerned about the way you send to tense with that young woman offered me her arm on the beach." Gail will just get right to it.

"Sharks get you everywhere. Probably more here if we are honest. I feel the reality and the illusions collide more here."

Gabriella doesn't seem too put out by that jumping right into it. She also doesn't seem very apologetic about it. There is a shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't know her and she was reaching for you. I get tense until I know the intention. Next time, Miss Amber comes around, I won't tense. The first time though? You are the only family I have here."

Gail turns that arm around Gabby into a full hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Little one," said fondly, "I'm quite safe from all who might wish me harm. You have nothing to fear on my account. Even the shadows of this town. They have had decades to break me and have yet to do so."

"Until now. I mean I'm here now. They might all change their minds." Gabriella curls her feet under her bottom as she curls in against her granny.

Gail smooths Gabriella's hair again, a familiar sensation -even if it's been a bit since Gabby curled up in her grandmother's bed. When she speaks again it's into Gabby's mind rather than out loud, letting Gabby feel the emotion behind the words.

Even with you little one, Gail says, her tone gentle, but insistent at the same time. She believes this with ~all~ of her heart. The trick is to have hope and love in your heart. It will be your most effective tool. Fear feeds them.

Gabriella gives a look. If it wasn't her grandmother, she might get punch happy about being talked to in her mind. As it is, there's just a smile as she leans into the touch upon her hair.

"Really? I just think most people use the word love to hurt you. Or get what they want."

"No, but that is a lie that many perpetuate to keep themselves from harm. The truth is that it is much more complicated."

Gail falls silent as she considers how best Gabriella's words about love.

"When we love we put our faith into something stronger than situation. We build a structure to sustain ourselves long beyond the moment. However, as with all buildings, the fall is much more dangerous than the act of building. When we feel our love has been betrayed it injures us with a wound that is not easily healed."

"I just don't really feel anything about anyone. I mean I love you but that is different. You know?"

Gabriella offers without an ounce of anger or resentment on her tone. It's just factual. "I mean maybe one day someone will cause me to think it's a real thing, but it hasn't happened yet. I believe other people can do it, just not me."

Gail hums a lullaby - it's a thinking kind of habit.

"There are several different kinds of love. Your grandfather and I, that was romantic love. We were two people, and then grew to compliment one another, and helped to fill in one another's flaws. There is also the love one feels as they share experiences. You begin to trust others, and even if you do not wish to jump into a haystack with them," Gail is ON TO YOU GABBY, "you begin to love in those friendships. Finally, there is love towards yourself." Gail shifts to try to get Gabby to look up at her. "Your mother always struggled with this. I worry you do also."

"I know what I am. If you ask any person here, I might be arrogant or confident." Gabby looks at her granny. Is this really a road she wants to go down? Is it? Well okay, Gabby will move with it as well. She crosses her ankles lightly for a few moments. "I'm good with people who want to sleep with me. I know what they want. They know what I'll give. I'm not upset by that." She takes a breath to that and then smiles towards her Granny.

"Love is for others. It's not for me though. I'm sure maybe one day someone will come in and ruin all my plans, but so far that hasn't happened."

"When your grandfather came back from the war he tried to tell me that too." Gail says, not at all put off by Gabriella's words about love. "If you are determiend on this road, don't toss off love completely, facets sweetheart. Facets. "

Then changing the tone of the conversation COMPLETELY,

"Do you need some money for condoms, or the pill?" Let's not get pregnant here kthanks.

Gabriella laughs a lot. Way more than she should. Way way more.

"I just told someone the other day if you thought I was sleeping around you'd try to shove condoms in my hand. I'm good though. I have gone this long trying not to be my mother. I'm not about to go that route. I don't even know if I want kids. This is a fucked up life to bring them into."

"Everyone gets carried away." Gail says with utter sincerity. SHE WILL PROVIDE IF GABRIELLA WANTS. "And it's fun, why your grandfather and I..."

Gabby, say something quick, or she WILL launch into an story.

Gabriella stares with a bit of horror. This sex talk is ONE WAY. ONE WAY!!!!

"... slept in twin beds like on I love Lucy and found children in a cabbage patch. I got it."

"Well, yes, we did have twin beds for the longest time. Would you believe that your grandfather put up such a fight to get us a queen sized bed?" There's a twinkle in Gail's eye that hints that she knows exactly why Gabriella cut her off. "I think some of that was related to how he returned from Vietnam, poor man, but I convinced him after a stay in a hotel room once where..."

Do it again Gabby.

"Where you got separate rooms... got it."

Gabriella moves up from her bed. "Huh?" She looks at her smartphone without any messages. "I have to go respond to this. It's Benji. Sooo... sad to cut off those stories though. Maybe next time?"

Gail laughs at Gabriella's interruption of her story. "Just remember, it's easier to make babies upside down."

Gabriella wrinkles her brows and then hops off the bed. "Ugh."

"Think on what I said love," Gail calls after Gabriella.

Just think, Gail has a ~lifetime~ of sex experience. Really, she's an asset.