KarmaBum -- Thu Jul 04, 2019 1:32pm
The Gazette runs a bit of fluff on the web on the 28th and as part of the printed Sunday edition about the flu season coming to Gray Harbor early. Flu season usually doesn't pick up speed till October, but reports of flu visits to the local hospital, doctors' offices, and urgent care clinics have seen a substantial uptick this week.
The paper gives people tips: stay hydrated, rest, take Tylenol and Aspirin to fight the fever, pretty much standard fare. They also share that the hospital has a walk-in vaccination clinic, though it seems this current strain is particularly vaccine-resistant.
Cassidy -- Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:00pm
The Assistant District Attorney releases a statement about the murders of Pam and Karl Kruger. It is televised live with print and story that follow.
http://gray-harbor.com/scene/2042
Ignacio -- Wed Jul 17, 2019 3:29pm
Dear Iggy-
(Questionable Life Hax)
-- Ignacio de Santos
I won't lie. Since moving to Gray Harbor I've noticed some weird things. Like really weird things. I won't start with the lack of a Dunkin Donuts, but I'm looking at you Starbucks! it's like an all out coffee gang war. Pretty crazy but my concerns were pretty abated with a mint mocha frappuccino. I'll forgive you, Washington.
Living in NYC you don't get the level of community like you do around here. You aren't a tiny town but more of an assembly of neighbors helping one another out, hosting cake walks, and living on a hellmouth. I have not had my apartment broken into so hellmouth or not? You're up on New York City by one. Score one point for Washington.
Now, I may be an author but am I technically qualified to solicit advice? Technically no, but I am passionate about what I do, and lived through quite a bit, and my publisher likes me enough to not cancel my checks. So let's see what we have from you all writing in.
Dear Iggy,
So what's the right time to tell someone you're
dating you're kinda haunted, anyway? I mean,
like you said, literally? Also exorcism info might be good?"
-- Hauntings Are Unreasonably Nasty To Explain, Dude.
Dear HUNTED,
Let's start with I think that it's important if you're seeing other people that's important to mention early in the relationship. Dead or not it's important to set boundaries and if you need to break off that relationship you need to be really clear about those boundaries. If they don't take no for an answer? Hook up with the Gray Harbor Paranormal Society. Hit them up on Friendzone. they got a page.
Also? Honesty, Dude. If your SO can't handle you at your Exorcist then they don't deserve you at your She's All That. Good luck, man.
Dear Iggy,
What do I do when my friend with benefits yelled
at me for letting her act like a girlfriend, then
continued to act like a girlfriend?
-- Exhausted E-Peen
Dear E-Peen,
Enjoy it, bruh, and stop complaining. I'm Spanish so being yelled at is sort of how we express a lot of emotion. Clearly the GF/Not-GF is working through some stuff. Maybe worry less about being yelled at and possibly dodging shoes, and appreciate that she trusts you enough to open up and express her feelings. If you care then you gotta be patient and work through that stuff together. Relationships are like the zombie apocalypse man. It takes work on all levels to make a healthy thing survive or you'll be eaten by the minutiae.
Dear Iggy,
What do you do when every time you go on a date
w/ a girl, bad Dreams happen? DO YOU JUST GIVE UP?!
I WANT TO GET LAID.
--Hopelessly Hard-Up
Dear Hopeless,
You're not alone. A lot of people want to get laid, but if you're falling asleep on your date? Eh, you might not be with the right person and the sex probably wouldn't be as exciting. Keep looking. Don't give up hope! As for bad dreams? I'd suggest either melatonin, or change your Tindr profile to say Looking for a party healer, or someone who enjoys running. Then if you're surprised being chased by trees they got better odds of living long enough to see a second date.
Dear Iggy,
My co-worker uses the word ‘like’ constantly while
talking and it’s driving me nuts. What should I do?
--Unhappy
Dear U-Haps,
Just because they like things doesn’t mean you can’t too. It’s not a competition. Hell, it’s not even proprietary! Hobby and a ‘brownie’ might do wonders. It’ll be okay.
That’s all for this week. Feel free to DM me on Friendzone or through the paper’s website, and I’ll get back to you next Thursday. Stay safe. Don’t get eaten by lobsters.
Byron -- Sun Jul 21, 2019 11:08pm
The Carnival of Venice is a unique and magical celebratory experience, represented by decadent festival masks and costumes. For one week, Gray Harbor brings this wonder out of Italy for both locals and visitors. Promote local business, tourism, and town pride by stepping into the lavish magic of the Masquerade!
Events will be held throughout the week and local shopping and entertainment venues will be participating. Wear your costume, don your mask, and become part of the wonder!
OOC: Get ready for costumed festival RP! Events for the festival dates are on the calendar with multiple volunteer storytellers available. Please note that during this time, the line between dreams and reality seems much hazier and there's rolling, heavy fog in the area to add to the dreamlike quality.
Ignacio -- Thu Jul 25, 2019 6:15am
Dear Iggy-
(Questionable Life Hax)
-- Ignacio de Santos
Welcome back to another beautiful and festive week in Gray Harbor; where the ghosts of your past you owe money too may still try to collect. It’s Halloween and which means the ‘no taking candy from strangers’ rule is somehow suspended. Now I never really done Halloween out here on the West Coast and in NYC it was pretty wild. Honestly Queens gets a lot of flak from people that don’t live there. My favorite part was getting to see the neighbors and people getting dressed up as their ideas and sharing what they love without really any rules.
That said what questions have we got to try to help you all out with and stay safe this season?
Dear Iggy,
I have vowed triple revenge on a rude dude, let's call him the Headless Horseman for seasonal fun, because he's totally not the actual Headless Horseman. How does one lure a ghosting fool into a metaphorical flaming pit of fiery revenge? Is it worth it, or are my happy trippy karma points going to take a nosedive if I try? He hurt my feelings, man. And he totally ruined my haircut.
Yours in Frustration,
Perpetually Cute even with a Lob
Dear P.C. Lob,
First off let’s address this from top to bottom. The first is something I’ve told my sister many times and it that other people don’t make you beautiful- you do. Now if this is your hair dresser I’d recommend instead of trying to make this Horseman curl up and die go see the folks at Curl Up & Dye. Talk to the manager, Nicole, there. She will find you someone that is suited art-wise to the look you’re going for. Communication is key, world. It’s scary but it gets stuff done!
Second on that whole firey pit of revenge thing? Eh it hurts now but are they really worth giving up like 3-5 years of your life for time on assault charges? Nah. Their actions will catch up with them. Don’t let someone else bring you down. Until then tell people it’s for this wicked Halloween idea you got planned and then capitalize on it. Good costuming is a commitment!
Iggy believes in you Lob! ❤️
Dear Iggy,
My friend with benefits has a locked room in his house. I'm not saying it's a Murder Basement, but it's definitely basement-like and I'm undecided. I haven't been forbidden or anything, but it's on my mind all the time. Eating in the kitchen, murder basement. Taking a shower, murder basement. Snuggling on the couch, murder basement. Should I just go look? Is that a bad idea? Life's not a horror movie, but... a girl needs to know. Right? It's better if I just go look.... right?
Signed,
Have Taser & Bat, Will Travel
Dear William Travel, and Bat,
Ya know relationships are built on trust. Also to be fair to FWB? All basements unless they are finished and have a bar are creepy. Let’s not get too judgey there. So maybe it’s to keep people out, or not let people in. It might be a physical manifestation of shyness or maybe they are embarrassed about sea monsters in their basement.
My advice? Eh talk to them or hire a PI. There’s also by code windows that have to vent and look down into the basement. Also if they are really your friend they will be honest with you. Friends don’t lie. Then they’re sort of Associates With Incentives & Perks and no one needs to waste time on an Ass. WIPe.
Talk to them.
Dear Ignacio,
Ever since our loved one left us, our home has been shattered. We know that we've had our ups and downs, like any family. The good and the bad. Gray Harbor is a town filled with broken families. We just want ours to feel complete once again. Made whole. How can we convince him that it's safe to come home and that we miss him dearly?
Home Is Where The Heart Is
Dear Home ❤️,
You’re punching me in my feels, neighbor! I don’t talk about it a lot even though I dedicated my first book to the topic, that stuff hurts. Sometimes there’s a loss that leaves a hole other people, drinking, and all the drugs in the world can’t fill. Believe me I tried and I’m proud to say that rehab is hard but it’s been worth it. Right now my brother and my father are not talking. I chose to leave to support my brother and I don’t know if we’ll go back. We want to. Honestly, I am really starting to love some Gray Harbor and someone in it so I can tell you from someone dealing with grief and moving away from home? It is hard on those not here too.
Earth, period, is not safe it is just unsafe in different ways. Being human means having experience that leaves scars on us. Home and family are also not a geographic proximity. I will share with you what I did with my father when he asked me, ‘Mijo, cuando vendras a casa?’ and I told them ‘you need to become that safe place and that home first and then we will be back. Talk to them and see what is keeping them away and that might be several discussions and that might take a lot of time.
Be that home they need and they will live in it. It might be from a distance but I’ll tell you I call my mother every other day and it’s like she’s still next door. With the holidays around the corner I think we’re both going to be struggling with that, Home.
Keep in touch.
Let me know how that’s going for you
Also for those struggling with depression or addiction there’s a lot of great places I can recommend to help, or PM me and we can grab a coffee and I’ll just let you talk.
Dear Iggy,
I like kissing, and there are so many people worth kissing in town. I don't have time to kiss them all! What do I do?
xoxo
Sir Kiss-a-Lot
Dearest Smoochies Boochies,
That’s amazing you have this abundance of appreciation for other that you want to share that with them. I don’t need to remind people to get permission from the acquired target before hand. That said? Time travel! Picnics in the Firefly Forest may work too as it seems like forever goes by in the span of an hour, but ya know the downside is werewolves and crabby apple trees so consider that with some caution.
Also, have you considered a kissing booth or a calendar in your phone? I mean volume is not the issue so much as time management and I’ll tell you having lost days before I find setting time aside and scheduling things out helps. Also the other people in your life if they care about you will respect your time. Don’t feel rushed. Even if they’re Pokemon and you gotta catch em all you are under no obligation to do it all at once. You can do it! I believe in you!
Time may not be our friend but we can pummel it into submission MMA style with good organization.
Enjoy spreading the love.
Remember to wear chapstick.
Self-care in fun is still important.
That is this week. Folks and I have to go surprise my special person with a pumpkin. Branch & Bole still has a few. Help us with our No Pumpkin Left Behind program. THE NPLB needs you and if you don’t carve them they look just beautiful and will last through November and move us into that Thanksgiving spirit.
Be safe and if you have questions and thoughts on Spirit maintenance, gifts for loved ones that might be haunting and visiting, and recipes for some good pan as Dia de los Muertos (https://gray-harbor.com/event/103) is around the corner hit me up.
I’ll talk to you next week, Gray Harbor. Come see us on the Boat Tours tonight and ask me anything direct if you wish and we take a look at the great haunts of the harbor[https://gray-harbor.com/event/104]. Costumes welcome!
Byron -- Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:10pm
With a thick fog engulfing the town, the Gazette would like to remind everyone to drive with care. This is the season of the Gray Harbor Masquerade and those blank masked faces that you may see coming out of the mist are merely revelers. Remain calm and do not be alarmed. Enjoy the festivities safely. Also, don't drink and drive.
Magnolia -- Sun Jul 28, 2019 9:48pm
MISSING MAN FOUND DEAD IN PARKING LOT; MISSING ORGANS
By: Penelope Franz
On Sunday morning, the body of an unidentified man was found in the parking lot of the Maple Shopping Center. While GHPD is not yet releasing details on the on-going investigation, a source inside the department has confirmed that the body was missing its left lung.
Ignacio -- Tue Jul 30, 2019 10:34pm
Questionable Advice Column
By Ignacio deSantos
Halloween weekend was something wasn’t it? You know I never did Halloween in a small town before but it was much better than being in a city. So whether you got to be visited by family, or even got dressed up and got to try something out with new people, I hope you did so safely.
I got to speak to someone I’ve not seen in a long time and she gave me something to think about: Forgiveness. It’s great and all to forgive other people. People cannot change unless we give them a chance to change, but on the other hand, those are not indefinite chances. Harder is when we can’t forgive ourselves, even if the person we wronged says it’s okay. I won’t name names but we all know who we are. I think the important part is starting with knowing we’re not alone, and apparently that’s human.
Remember: I’m not a licenced therapist. I’m not qualified to give advice, I’m just paid to. Upon looking on the crystal ball that is the internet though this seems to be a very human condition so, neighbors, que sera.
Let’s talk about your problems because THOSE I might be able to do something about.
Dear Iggy,
How do we stop this flu epidemic from going around? I’m tired of myself and others catching it so no one can do anything.
-Running Out of Losanges, Excedrin, & Kleenex
Dear ROLEX,
Easy fix. STOP LICKING THINGS! Fun fact from a legal standpoint (and I checked with the Law Office of Williams, Martin, & Baxter), licking does not convey ownership. It’s gross and that’s how you get the flu. Just…. Stop.
Dear Iggy,
This is my third attempt at a letter. I just can't seem to get out what I am trying to say.
I made bad choices in my life. Some left me pretty damn miserable. I told myself I would just not do the things that caused me misery, which was basically to catch feelings for someone. Never has ended well. I was all fine and good doing so for awhile until, well, against my better judgement, I am fairly sure I've gone and ignored my own rules. Even worse, fairly sure this person would fall into the 'not the best idea to fall for' list of people, for reasons. I dodge the question when it comes up from friends, and it's never come up from this person. I guess the question is, do I continue to lie to myself and others even if I am a terrible liar, or do I just blurt out the possible truth of the matter? Or maybe, the question is, if you go into a 'bad choice' armed with the knowledge that it might not be the best for you but damn, it feels good, should you embrace that you are doing so anyway because maybe just maybe it won't end badly? Or maybe the question is, should I listen to my heart or my brain (tbf, the brain isn't arguing against it as much as I expected either)? Or should I just listen to my one friend who basically says have fun until it no longer is fun and not to put anymore thought into it than that? Or, should I just say, 'let's put your baggage together with my baggage, go for a ride on this thing called life, and see what's left at the end'?
In other words, I think I really am into him. What do I do?
Signed,
How was this shit easier in High School?
Dear Varsity Grade WTF,
I think the real question here is what do we do if we want to try something but we’ve been burned before? What do we do when we want to do something and we might get hurt? You’re talking about a relationship but really this is about making life choices and they are really scary.
Recently I had to make the decision of risk my own sure thing vs. help someone get what they want that could be good for them. In the end? You need to trust yourself. Make a fallback plan. Weigh those risks and accept the truth that no one can see the future.
Except maybe that lady on the boardwalk or the one at that crystal shop. I’m not saying it’s a guarantee but hedging your bets ain’t bad either.
Dear Iggy,
My brother keeps taking my Almond Joys and leaving me with tootsie rolls. I’m pretty sure those are the same ones I didn’t eat last year and our mom keeps putting it all together. How do I protect my candy?
-Hunger Strike
Dear HS,
First off if this is your problem I don’t know you’re old enough to remember that song. If you are? You need to be getting a better paying job and just go to CVS or Dosie’s Market and buy a bag and don’t share.
Candy-Barring that Buzzfeed has a helpful guide located here: https://www.youtube.com/embed/wGdYhmFH-DQ
Above all, a slingshot is your friend and candy corn at high speeds hurts like hell. Load to bear. Chew fast. Don’t run with candy in your mouth.
Dear Iggy,
I’m used to living alone. I travel a lot and frankly my job can be a bit dangerous. Everything was fine and now I come home and there’s someone there happy to see me making me feel like all the mistakes I’ve made in life don’t matter. It’s pretty great. I just don’t want to make all of my crap her problem.
-Wat Do?
Dear Wat,
For one I feel like Little Jon even writing that. For two? Part of me really, really, really hopes you are talking about a new car, and if so I totally feel ya. That said? Hey, my girlfriend lives in a haunted house and her ma tried to drop me off a roof once but we’re working it out. My point is every union has baggage. We can’t decide what’s best for other people. We have to be honest as we can and in the immortal words of our Poet Laurete, billy Joel, ‘Tell her about it. Tell her everything you feel.’ and if I type more than that I get sued for copyright. Seriously, it’s on You Tube. Brilliant stuff. Be honest, but accept the answer and then? Well at least you’ll know.
Look that's for now and I am getting ready to fly home for a week to wrestle with my family. I would love to see what DuoLingo would suggest for translating some of the fun phrases they’re about to use. I’ll keep you posted, but you do the same, and I’ll talk o you when I get back in next Thursday’s paper.
Iggy out.