2019-08-12 - Strip Chargen

Kevin came by after Lark was in bed, cued by a coy little text about rolling up a character. Of course, Magnolia had thought she was using some super-deep nerd slang for sex, so when Kevin arrived with his character creation gear, Magnolia was stymied. She stood there for a good minute, stumbling over her words before she sighed and accepted her fate. Now they are seated on the floor of her living room, and wine bottle popped, and she's sipping the red liquid from the stemless wine glass. She looks suspiciously at the various books, paper character sheets, pencils, and various sided-dice. "Alright," she prompts. "How we do this?"

You can do all of this on a single tablet, but that's not how Kevin works. Paper is better. Paper and actual dice. He's got a pair of Player's Handbooks, one for her and one for him, and he's got several blank character sheets and pencils and more dice than you can shake a... bag of dice at. And he's enthusiastic, and somewhat clueless. "So you want to be an elf. Do you know what you want to do in the game? Do you want to throw spells, talk to people, sneak around, heal people, shoot people with arrows, cast spells in the woods," he pauses, starting to count classes in his head, "shoot people in the woods, hit people, get really angry and hit people, or... I know I'm forgetting something."

"Um." Magnolia stares at Kevin for a long moment. "I... don't know. I don't want to think too much about this, I definitely don't want to have to worry about some giant spell book... so either just let be fireball the hell out of people, or I'll happily just swing around swords and shoot arrows." Then she folds her arms lazily across her knees as she leans over. "Choose something easier to start."

Kevin laughs easily, passing over a character sheet, "Well, I mean, there's Sorcerer or Fighter or Barbarian there, but even Sorcerer has to handle a spell book. I mean, you have to handle one to play a Sorcerer." He glances through the Player's Handbook, "And Barbarians aren't really good at shooting people. So why don't we go for a Fighter. Just really straightforward. Elven Fighter." Adjusting his glasses, he looks up to her with a grin, "I think we'll start at like third level, because first level is just dumb, and I've got to admit I like 3.5, instead of 5th Ed, which, you know, doesn't mean anything to you, because you're actually not a giant nerd, just a regular-sized nerd. So... Attributes next!" Absolutely clueless. "You roll four dice, ignoring the lowest and adding the other three together. Do that six times, and then you can decide which attributes you want to put each score into. You've got Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma."

"Okay. Elven Fighter." Magnolia feels a bit better now that, that is figured out. "Elven-with-a-dwarf-parent Fighter." She narrows her eyes threateningly at Kevin before she takes the character sheet. She tucks it onto a clipboard before she drains the wine glass, and then reaches for the bottle to refill the glass. "Uh huh." She got that. Mostly. She takes a sip from her refilled cup, and then she's straightening up to look seriously at the dice. "Wait. Why do I ignore the lowest? Why can't I just roll all four and add them together? What's the point of dropping the lowest?" She squints at him before she takes up the dice in her hand, shaking them slightly.

Kevin laughs and rolls his eyes in amusement, "Elven with a dwarf parent Fighter." Her question causes him to laugh again, and he shakes his head, "Because you're looking for a number between 3 and 18. In the old days, you just rolled three dice, but that got wild and... um... rather horrible results." He chuckles, "And you used to have to roll for them in order, and then create your character around whatever you happened to roll. But, um, that got wild and... um... rather horrible results." The second time he says it, there's a clear grin behind the words, "This is the result of many long experiences. And people who are real nerds sometimes decide what stats they would have themselves." His grin spreads broader, "Pretty sure you'd have Charisma 18."

"Three! I'm not taking a three. I'm going to re-roll. Everything has to be above ten." Magnolia is firm in this, though something in the thing about her Charisma rank has her blinking. She stares at him for a long moment only to then go, "Oh my god, you just complimented me using a Dungeons and Dragons reference." She shakes her head, but there's a warmer smile settled into place as she starts to shake about the dice again. She gives them a little toss to the space between them, and the colorful cubes clatter about the floor; they show '1,' '1,' '4,' and '1,' and she turns her eyes to Kevin after she stares at the results. "I call mulligan."

"Yup, I did." Kevin looks down at the dice, however, blinking and quickly snatching them up and handing them back to Magnolia, "Jesus Christ, Lia. That's just... that's ridiculous." Drawing in a breath, he lets it out in a his, "Okay. Time to let you in on another tradition. The DM's girlfriend gets a few mulligans here and there. I mean, why else is she sleeping with him?" He pauses to consider this, "Um... okay, so we geeks might have a self-esteem problem. Just roll up all six sets, Lia. We'll look after that."

Magnolia narrows her eyes at Kevin until he starts to admit his own self-esteem problems, and she gives him a little nudge with her knee. She leans in across that short expanse before kissing his cheek. "I like sleeping with the GM." Then she commits to six rolls, glaring at them as they create that set of attributes-- 7, 13, 12, 15, 15, 17. She frowns at them before she squints at Kevin. She hones in on that solitary shitty stat. "A 7?"

Kevin leans into the kiss on the cheek, grinning, "DM. D&D has Dungeon Masters. Some other games have Gamemasters." Resting a hand on her knee, he leans over to watch the rolls, noting down the numbers as the dice stop time and again. He winces at the first roll, but forebears comment, "It's... well, okay, it's not much better than a 6, but look at those 15s and the 17. That's a pretty badass stat-line. You'll have to decide what you want the character to be really bad at. Intelligence or Charisma is traditional for fighters, because clearly the big dumb brute is a trope. But you can make it most anything but Dex or Strength. Constitution isn't a great one either, so any of the mental attributes really." And then something seems to click in his head, and he tilts his head to study her so very close, "Did you mean this kind of rolling up, Lia, or another kind? I'm having a sudden suspicion that I'm missing the point."

"Whatever." Magnolia continues to give that 7 a glare, as if she might be able to change it into something better just by staring at it. Then she glances back to Kevin. "You're going to make me keep that seven, aren't you?" When he lays out what decisions she has to make. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have to either be stupid or ugly to be a fighter? W.T.F. kind of B.S. is that?" Look at her carefully censoring her language. It's almost cute. "Have you not seen any of The Hobbit movies? No one is ugly in those movies. Even the dwarves are cute in their own right. Hell, the dragon was adorable." She then scowls bitterly at her stat block. "Fine. Charisma." Because we all know except for that smile, Magnolia probably would have a low Charisma. Finally, Kevin gets around to narrowing in on that text message, and the P.I. sighs out a quick breath. "Well-- I had thought I was being all geeky cute about it, but this is fine."

"Well, you can be unwise too... a low Wisdom means that you're not so good at common sense, and you probably aren't very perceptive, and you're easily influenced." Kevin's grin broadens despite her frustration, "So, kind of unlike you. But that can be a fun Fighter to play too. And you can have low Strength, Dex, or Con, it just makes being a fighter harder. Like, you could go for relatively heavy armor and low Dex, but then you aren't going to be shooting anything with a bow. And Dex is sort of what Elves do in general. If you wanted to just do bow stuff most of the time, you could go low Strength." Laughter -- maybe a little nervous -- follows her sighing words, "I mean, you were being geeky cute about it. I just thought you were being more on the geeky than the cute." He looks over the spread of books, "I mean, we could stop whenever. Totally fine with that. Or I could take off an article of clothing for every section you finish. Attributes, Skills, Starting Feats, Details, Level 2, Level 3, Equipment. Let's see, that's one sock, two socks, shirt, belt, pants, underwear... huh, still missing one thing. Glasses."

Magnolia just stares at Kevin like he's some alien or weird blob monster. Then, very carefully without much affect or blinking, she reports that, "That's a load of crap. So, as a fighter-- I'm either dumb, ugly, or lack common sense. What kind of game is this!" But then she huffs a breath, and considers her character sheet for a long, serious moment. "Alright, fine. I'll go Wisdom." Then she is crossing her legs under her while she sips at her wine. His suggestion earns him a sudden look, and her brows arch high above her blue eyes. "Um. Huh." She takes another sip as she mulls that over. "Okay, I just finished attributes. So, that means you lose your shirt." She holds up a finger. "I'm choosing the order." Then she shrugs. "You can lose your glasses as a celebration to finishing my character sheet."

"Well, if you'd rolled worse, you'd have to be bad at more than one of those. It's all about using what you roll. Which is why we do roll-four-drop-the-lowest, and why we don't make you roll in order. If we did that, you'd have a 7 Strength on your Fighter, but 15 Intelligence, 15 Wisdom, and 17 Charisma. This way, you get to pick things. You'll also get a +2 Dex, +2 Intelligence, and -2 Con because you're an Elf." He looks over the character sheet, then nods at her counter-offer. He thinks for a moment, then reaches up and peels off his shirt without any more hesitation than that, "Okay, but you're one step behind me all the way. So after Skills, you lose your shirt and I lose one more item of your choice." He grins and drapes his shirt over the back of his chair, "Okay. So as a Fighter, you get 2+ your Intelligence modifier," he's gone in and written in the modifiers alongside the raw stats, "skill points per level. We'll add more skills at Level 2 and 3. You should also go through and mark your class skills," he shows her the list, "because you get a +3 in them if you put at least one skill point into them." He waits a heartbeat, then adds, "So once you've got your points allocated, just let me know what you want me to lose next, and then you can lose your shirt."

When Kevin shucks off his shirt, Magnolia is left admiring him with her chin and cheek tucked into her hand and her smile warm and casual. "Alright. I'm okay having low common sense now." She wrinkles her nose up good-naturedly before she rotates back on the couch to pick up her character sheet and one of the giant tomes that Kevin called the Bestiary. She looks at her skills, and then her stats and she makes those adjustments until she has everything organized in her character sheet. "So, as an Elf Fighter, I get a +4 Intelligence. At least I'm smart." With that, she gnaws slightly at her lip as she looks over skills. She nods slightly at his instructions before she offers a not-quite-certain, "Okay." Then she starts assigning her skills with its needed points. She doesn't look up until she's done, breathing out a sharp exhale. "Oh-kay!" She squints at Kevin. "Pants." But she also shucks off her own NASA t-shirt, setting it aside to reveal her simple t-shirt bra.

Kevin watches Magnolia shift over to the couch, giving a little shiver in his bare-chestedness that probably isn't necessary given the warmth of the summer day. It may have more to do with that admiring regard. "Right, so with that +4 Intelligence, you get 6 skills." He grabs one of the Player's Handbooks and wanders over to the couch as well, dropping down to peek over her sheet, "Nice. And now you can see how skills can start to define who this character is. Someone who can ride versus someone who can Blacksmith -- that's Craft -- someone who can Intimidate versus someone who can Climb and Swim... that sort of thing." Her demand for his pants causes him to laugh, "Oh, I see how it is. Skip right past the belt?" He pops up his hips to unbuckle the belt, but instead of shucking it off with his pants, he pulls it out of the belt loops, then stubbornly wraps it around his waist and buckles it again -- only then drawing off his pants and tossing them into the same chair as his shirt. "Okay." He turns a grin over to her, in his boxers, socks, and belt, and his eyes drop to take in the smooth expanse of her shoulders, the other areas of skin revealed by the loss of her shirt, "There might be a problem in our plan. I'm gonna get distracted pretty quick. So. Starting feats." He begins to explain a few of the common Fighter feats, but his eyes keep lifting from the book to her, clearly distracted.

"Do I want to be able to Craft stuff?" It seems like a genuine question without her mostly-joking scoffing that she's given him until now. Then she is looking up at him when he decides to shuck out of his pants, but the belt has her laughing fully with a bit of a smile sliding into place as she settles back down with the player handbook. She doesn't look up at him while she pencils in the rest of her skills. "Uh huh. Didn't think of that, did you?" She then glances up at him before she asks, "What's next?" She listens to him explain some of the finer details about the whole Fighter concept she's chosen. She leans her head back into her hand, elbow resting on the cushions of the couch. Her smile quirks higher with each passing moment of distracted explanations from Kevin until she is starting to choose her feats. She selects them, tucking up closer against him as she does. "How does that look?"

"I mean, being able to fix things isn't always the worst idea. You might be stuck out in the wilderness and have your armor or sword break, so you never know. But it's not likely be, you know, an everyday thing." Wearing some clothing is almost worse than wearing none at all, especially when it includes socks and an utterly superfluous belt, and Kevin shifts in his seat, "No... I really didn't think of that. At all. I'm starting to wish I had. Because I've got this feeling that the character may not end up getting finished tonight..." As he leans over to check out her chosen feats, his hand settles on her leg, fingers tightening just a little as he scans over the sheet, "Looks like it's time for you to lose your pants and then pick what piece of clothing I'm losing next. I suggest the belt or a sock, because I'm starting to feel a little ridiculous." At least laughter accompanies the last statement.

Magnolia's eyes drift toward Kevin as he settles in closer to her, peeking over her character sheet. Her head tilts slightly aside to regard him with those now-warming blue eyes. "Is that a bad thing? That it doesn't get finished tonight." Then at the tightening of his hand on her thigh, she offers up a low and amused laugh. Her hand presses against his shoulders, hauling herself up to her feet before she starts to join him in the 'mostly underwear' dress. Her own jeans are shucked off her thighs, leaving her in mismatched socks, and matching underwear to her simple bra. She plops back down beside him. "Belt," she says helpfully to his currently ridiculous plight.

"No, definitely not a bad thing. I mean, just means we'll have to arrange another Mommy-only night." Kevin squeezes his eyes closed behind his glasses at that, laughing and shaking his head, "Man, that sounds so wrong." His hand slips away as she rises to her feet, and he gives a low little whistle as she stripes off her jeans, "Woo hot stuff!" And then he spreads his hands to put the wares on display -- when she picks his belt, he breathes a sigh of relief, "Oh thank god. That was just feeling way too ridiculous." He unbuckles it, then carefully whips it off at an angle that won't crack her in the face, "Hah-ha!" Such a nerd. The belt is tossed after the rest of his clothes, and he settles in a little closer to her, so that their bare legs press together, "Okay. So, um... what's next. Right! Details. Height, weight, gender, name, alignment. Most of that's all totally easy, they've even got tables if you want to randomly roll. Alignment's really all there is to it. Oh, I can even show you a meme about it -- " except his phone is over in his pants, which are hanging half off a chair across the room, "Or just tell you that Lawful vs Chaotic is like... do you have a code of ethics or do you do what you want, and Good vs Evil is like, the good of the many over the good of yourself. Usually we don't play full-Evil characters, but Good and Neutral are just fine there. Me, I'm like, I don't know, Chaotic Good? Maybe Neutral Good because I can't get off my ass and go against what the editors say, no matter how much of a good game I talk."

Kevin's absolute awkwardness is rewarded with a widening grin. "Uh huh. You can have a Mommy-only night any time you want, Cap." Then she is leaning back to watch him undo that ridiculous belt, laughing as she does. "I know you were, but I enjoyed making you totally sweat it." As he draws her back into the character-creation process, she mulls over this next step with a bit more consideration than she has given the others. "You know how stupid it is," she finally opines, "that we have to decide weight. Who actually knows the correct weight to match height? No one." But she relents, and sighs. "Alright. Elves are tall, right? So... let's make her five-foot-eight because I can only stand being short in my real life. But I'm leaving her weight blank." The other stats are easier to fill in. She chooses being female, and she selects the name Ruella and says that she can just be called Ella. The alignments are more considering, and she frowns. "Okay. So. Neutral Good? Or-- what alignment is it if I want her to have a hardcore ethics except for particular scenarios-- like crimes against dwarves, or something?"

Kevin waggles his eyebrows at her response, "You can make me sweat it any time you want." The commentary on weight causes him to frown thoughtfully despite the casual flirtation of the moment, "It kind is dumb. I mean, it only really matters because sometimes weight's a factor for lifting or carrying. Like, can," he leans over to check, "Ruella pick up the other elf and all of his gear when he takes an arrow to the leg, and can she, with her Strength of 15 and Dex of 19, carry him while running away from the very angry bronze dragon." His eyes brighten up as she gets into the interesting weeds of the alignment discussion, "See, that's the interesting thing... you can be Lawful as long as you have your own code of ethics that you won't ever break. So if Ruella's code is: all the laws of my people, except when it comes to bigotry against dwarves, that's still Lawful. If it's a little more flexible than that, then yeah, it could definitely be Neutral. Also, you're not wearing a belt, but I'm not wearing a bra, so I think that's totally the equivalent clothing." Of course he thinks that.

"I'm not a Firefighter. Ruella can just make someone else do the heavy lifting." Says Magnolia who will, probably, have to have her elf pick up someone and all his gear. She considers this with a tilt of her head back against the couch. She squints at him now. "I thought you said there were no dragons in this game." But then she settles in Lawful Good as her alignment now that she knows she can make her own code of ethics. With all her details done, she considers Kevin with a squint. "Okay, off with the underwear."

"Well you don't play a dragon. But there can indeed be both dungeons and dragons." Kevin looks over the details, reaches down, then stops and leans back in the couch, "After you. Remember, Lia? You've got to catch up and then I jump ahead." Laughter bubbles in his chest and he grins brightly at her, "And are you sure you want me bare-butting on your couch for two levels and gear?" Once more, his hands drop down to the waistband of his boxer-briefs, "I mean... I'm game..."

"Disappointing." Magnolia really wants to be a dragon! But then she's distracted by Kevin's words, and she arches a brow with a little amusement flickering across her lips. "Yeah, that's probably a bad idea... you should probably sit on the floor." Warmth blossoms in her eyes as she grins a bit wider. But at his suggestion that she needs to go first has her snorting out a little breath before she hauls up to her feet. She rewards Kevin by slipping down her panties and kicking it aside. She turns to glance over her shoulder to him with a bit of a higher curve to her smile. "Alright, you next."

"You'll just have to start agitating for a dragon campaign. Just know that I'll have to do some serious prepwork for that. I can whip out a pretty standard campaign pretty much on the fly." Speaking of whipping it out, Kevin scooches down off the couch, then looks up to see her hands going down to her panties, and his eyebrows shoot up, "Woah." And he's frozen there a moment, looking up at her in her socks and bra, blink-blinking owlishly for a moment before he drags his thought process back around to things that are not pale and lithe. "Um. Okay. Yeah. Uh... right. Leveling up. So when you level up, you get some more hitpoints," he points to the book in her lap, then strips off his boxers and tosses them after the rest of his clothes, "And skill points, and new abilities on that table, and all that sort of thing. The, um... table says what you get." More and more distracted, this one, and his hands slip out to brush along her calves, "Let me know if you have any questions."

"I'll agitate, alright." Magnolia is soon forgetting that they have other work to do. The book in her lap is mostly disregarded despite his helpful tidbits about a table, and how to level up, and that it is important to add more hitpoints. She is instead scooting closer to him as he touches her calf. She sweeps her legs across his thighs, reaching over his head to set down the book. Her arms lazily curl around his neck and shoulders as she settles in against him, still in bra and socks. "Hey, Kevin? Will you shut up now?" Then she presses a kiss to his lips. Each of these encounters ups Lia's confidence, so it comes as no surprise to her that she is trailing her lips from his to along his stubbled jaw to his ear.