2019-08-16 - The Beginning Of A Beautiful Friendship

Noah's got a Friendzone ad up. It probably doesn't read 'questionably moral gunsmith seeks roommate to share loft above a lot of guns' but it's something like that. Which explains why Harvey is here to begin with - he answered the ad, via email, and they set up this time and date for Harvey to come see the place. Now they are standing in the middle of the loft, with Harvey wearing a cotton t-shirt and some dark khaki pants, considering the lay of the land with his arms folded across his chest.

"Don't you get bored? Living where you work?" It's not criticism, just an honest question.

Noah didn't know that he had a friendzone ad up. It was clearly a spammer that hacked his information. But he needed a roommate, so he went along with the entire thing. It's entirely likely he expected Harvey was going to ROB and MURDER him but he's just... a dude. A kind of harmless looking dude that doesn't look like he wants to fight him. When he asks about his level of boredom, Noah gives him a skeptical look. "No. I don't live in the store. I live over it."

"All right, all right. Point," Harvey drops his hands from across his chest and bobs his head in a nod, surveying the room one last time before he looks back to Noah. "At least it makes your commute real easy," he smirks, even if he realizes it's a lame joke that Noah's probably heard a hundred times. He'll give himself the cursory laugh, thanks. "Anyway, you're not a four hundred pound biker dude with a thousand tattoos and an equally sized wife and python." A beat. "At least, I don't think you have a python, do you have a python?" He didn't look in the tub, it could be living there. The python.

Noah isn't one to give detailed tours, so eventually he just throws himself back onto the couch and sprawls lazily. "You're a jokester, huh?" he wonders, reaching into his pocket and fishing out a cigarette. He doesn't smoke it, he just bites it between his teeth and watches Harvey. There's a soft snort for the remark on not being a biker. "No, but I have a dog. I hope you're not allergic."

"I usually have better material," or maybe he usually has a dumber audience 🙁 Harvey lifts a shoulder and comes to plop himself on the chair nearby, because he's already showed himself around. Noah's lack of pythons does beg the question though - if he's not keeping the python in the tub, what is he keeping in the tub? His pots and pans??? "You do?" have a dog, that is. He looks around himself again. ".. Where?" Then, as if it is a second thought: "I'm okay with dogs. Is it one of those big scary pit bulls?"

Harvey will discover that unlike SOME people in this world, the bathtub is not full of pots and pans. Instead, it's a fully functioning bathroom and there's no kitchen equipment inside of it. "Are you stereotyping me?" Noah asks him, his eyebrows popping up. "Just because I'm a gun owner, I have one of those big scary pit bulls?" He points over to a corner where there's a massive black and brown brindle lump of a dog with huge floppy ears. "That's my dog. His name is Harvey." The dog's name is also Harvey. That's right, you heard him. Noah's mouth twitches.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that a stereotype of a gun owner would be one of those bloodhound dogs. Yanno, for hunting or whatever," Harvey replies, looking to where Noah points. And lo and behold .. How the fuck did he miss that dog in the first place? It's right there! There's a snort of laughter when Noah mentions the dog's name, his cheeks dimpling as he grins back to the other man. "It's a little weird that you named your dog after your future roommate, man. But I promise not to be confused or anything when you're yelling at the dog to go empty or whatever."

"I think you're wrong," Noah replies, still with the cigarette unlit and hanging from his mouth. In Havery's defense, Harvey-the-dog is just a giant lump. He didn't even move or anything when the new roommate came up into the loft. Just laid there. He probably wagged his tail slowly as they were walking around. "I'll let you walk him sometimes. Then you can introduce yourselves as Harvey and Harvey."

"You're right. It's not that weird. It's kinda endearing, in a creepy way," Harvey's grin widens at that, chuckling as he looks back over to the lump that is Noah's dog. Noah will let him walk Harvey? It sounds like Noah's shirking his responsibilities as a dog owner. But whatever. "Dogs are pretty great when you're trying to get a date," he doesn't rhyme normally while talking, don't worry. "But I dunno about this. Is it cool that I have a dog named after me, or does it make me seem like a megalomaniac?" He considers this, then wobbles his hand in the air. "I'll try my luck with it."

Noah caught that rhyming and he doesn't look impressed. Is that going to be a thing? He might have to pull the plug on this WHOLE deal if rhyming is going to start happening. He squints at him. He'll be listening for future instances of poetry, Harvey! "I meant the sterotyping thing. The dog having your name is just a super weird coincidence. Harvey is definitely a dog's name." And not a people name, not at all! "Let me know how it goes. It's never really worked for me." Because Noah is a fucking humorless jerk, so that's probably part of the problem.

The meta already promised it wouldn't be a thing! It's not a thing! There's a skeptical squint in Noah's direction when he claims the dog's name is just a 'super weird coincidence' - doubtful - but there's a huff of a laugh at how the dog hasn't worked for him yet. "Not a good wingman then?" he stretches out on the chair, making himself at home. Since that's what this loft will soon be. "Maybe you've just been going out with the wrong Harvey. I got you, man," this is a match made in Heaven. "Uh, if it's cool with you, I can move in this weekend? 'Cause the bed and breakfast's rates are fucking ridiculous, and the breakfast is definitely not worth the price."

Noah doesn't know the meta! He can't HEAR the meta! But then Harvey doesn't known that Noah's meta is that he hates poetry? HOW META ARE WE GOING TO GET HERE??!1 Anywho. "Not really. Honestly sometimes he just lays down in the middle of the walk and I have to carry him back." Harvey the dog groans on the floor. Life is hard for him. "Uh, sure." That's for Harvey-the-human being his wing man. "Alright. Yeah, that place is expensive. I'll get a copy of the key and the alarm code."

Harvey can't hear the meta either! This meta could go on all night! And Noah will never find out that Harvey doesn't always rhyme and Harvey will never find out that Noah hates poetry. Why does he hate poetry anyway? It's probably some tragic backstory. Maybe his last dog was murdered by poetry. Maybe poetry ate Noah's mother. "Cool," Harvey says, though whether it's about being Noah's wingman or getting the alarm code is anybody's guess. Spoiler: it was a 'cool' to both. "You okay with me coming and going? Is that going to fuck up business? Or is there a back alley entrance where I don't wander in and out of the arsenal?"

"You can come in and out of the stock room. I'll show you how to operate the alarm so you're not setting it off every night. If you bring a guest in, do me a favor, don't let them see the code." Because Noah really doesn't want to have his entire store full of guns and ammunition robbed. That would be a pretty lame. Also we'll never know how Noah's mom died. Did she even die? Was she a famous poet? Is that why he now hates poetry with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns???? "Well, definitely a good talk." It was??

"All right," this was all very agreeable to Harvey. Look, the two of them were getting along! This was a match made in Heaven! Sux about Noah's mom though. "And don't worry. I don't want any guests figuring out how to get back up there, gets real awkward when you're not the type that takes the same guest back on multiple occasions. Would rather not have any stalkers." That's because Harvey's a stalker himself, not a victim (hi KB <3). But yes, "Good talk, for sure. I think this is gonna work out great, man." At least he knows when to take his leave. He starts getting up out of the chair, with every intention of heading out.

"Cool. See you around. I gotta watch this stupid teenagers show..." Then Noah puts Riverdale on.

"Whoa whoa whoa wait, you watch this shit too?" So much for Harvey knowing when to leave. "What episode you on?" He asks as he sits right back down.

It's the beginning of a beautiful friendship <3 <3 <3

"I'm on season 3, episode 6." It's on Netflix. Then they sit around watching Riverdale like a pair of super macho dudes.