2019-09-10 - Heartbreak, Vodka, and Sex

It's Sunday evening. Harper shows up at 8:47 pm with a bottle of vodka. Things must be serious. She's wearing a grey tee and army green pants with sneakers; her hair is tucked up into an easy ponytail. She gets to the door of the Honeybuns and just pulls it open and walks in (unless it's locked). "Jess... " She heads straight for the kitchen and will grab two glasses if Jessica doesn't intercept her before that. Harper looks .. somber. The sparkle to her eyes is missing tonight, replaced by a grim determination.

A desire to get drunk on the weekend - why would Jessica think anything was remiss? At least until Harper shows up looking all moody and grey, and with vodka. Vodka? Harper gets drunk sniffing wine. Things have suddenly got serious. Expecting party mode, Jessica is in sweatpants and am oversized 'Daffy Duck' t-shirt that also proclaims 'What's Normal?'. "I'm here" she replies from the kitchen area where she had been cooking up some nibblies. An arch of an eyebrow at the look on her best friend before she intercepts with a hug. "What's going on?" she asks softly. Something's up.

"A drink first," she argues, not looking her friend in the eye. She unscrews the lid from the vodka and pours them both shots. She refills hers or both of theirs if Jessica drinks, too. She downs the second shot, then sets down her glass with a snap and looks her best friend in the eye. "I broke up with Everett." She looks grim. Utterly grim. No tears. No sadness. No relief. Grim.

Two drinks before Harper even starts talking? Normally she's fallen over by this point. Aware that she is going to need to be a clear thinker for a little while yet, Jessica only sips on her drink. And then the news. "Aww, shoot, I'm sorry, honey." Another hug, even if there are no tears or sadness. "What happened?" A nod towards the couch. "Sit down and tell me all about it."

There are never tears or sadness with Harper. At least not since the epic death of her best friend in 3rd grade in front of her. She doesn't cry. She doesn't mourn. In some ways, she doesn't feel. Jessica would only know the gravity of it from Harper's grim expression. And the drinking. Definitely the drinking. Harper refills her glass then carries both the bottle and the glass with her over to the sofa. Both are set on the coffee table or side table as she drops to the cushions with Jessica and looks into her friend's eyes as if she could give her the details with just a look. "He loved me." Cardinal sin. Mortal issues. Harper doesn't use the L-word. Jessica would know that she tenaciously and deeply believes her love kills the people in her life. "I just couldn't ..." She shakes her head and lifts her hands up, palm up. "I couldn't."

Jessica's lips go tight as she listens to her dear friend. She knows all about the death that seems to follow Harper around when she gets too close to people. But being a logical journalist, she would emphasise the 'seems' and that there is no such connection at all. Getting Harper to believe this... She curls up on the couch, facing her friend, a consoling hand on the other woman's leg. "I see" she replies, a little weariness in her voice at Harper denying herself once more. "You love me, don't you?" she asks with an attempt at a bright smile. "I'm fine. Have been for all those years I've known you. Let me ask this first though, before I get into the nagging part, do you love him?"

Harper's gazes goes from grim to another expression entirely: her eyes soften as she refocuses on Jessica. "That's different." Don't push Harper on this one. It won't go well. Especially not tonight. "It's completely different. I've known you since we were young." She blindly reaches for her glass while Jessica continues and leads into that last question. "I don't know, Jess. I've never been in love." She gets ahold of herself with a little shake of her head and downs another shot of vodka. "I don't ever want to be." And just in case Jessica wonders she adds another descriptor, "Ever."

"So, does that mean you're just going to be a hussy the rest of your life?" Jessica half teases. "Can I have your leftovers? Except Everett." Her attempts at making light of things are probably not the best. It's not as if she's had a lot of experience with love. "But, seriously, denying yourself the chance to love...to be happy. That's silly. And, yes, I know why you do it. I know probably better than anyone but you should fight it, not acquiescence. How did Everett take it?" She is straining at the bit to go into full nagging mode but she also knows how stubborn Harper is (Jessica's the same). This will have to be subtle. Jessica is also not good at subtle.

Harper bursts into some cathartic laughter at Jessica's question. "Yep. A bonafide hussy. I'll be eighty-eight years old and seducing men who come into my library offering to do kind things for kids. It's just in my DNA, Jess." The vodka has already started to undo some of that line of hard tension that leads along her shoulders.

"You and Everett, I don't think... oh my god. What have I done? I think I broke his heart, Jess. I'm a horrible, horrible human being." She should fight it. Harper utters a derisive little scoff that is so unlike her. How did he take it? "He argued at first. Tried to change my mind. And then he kind of collapsed on himself and gave up. It was horrible, Jess. He's one of the good guys. Sure he has a lot of really rough edges, but his heart is golden." She shakes her head, looks faintly said, but grim is still the underlying emotion.

She reaches out to trace a fingertip across her best friend's hand. "Thank you for getting it, Jess. I really needed to talk to someone who gets it." Then she adds, "Geoff told me to come over tomorrow night and get plastered."

Harper and Geoff have had a strange sympatico ever since his girlfriend dumped him Junior year and Harper asked him to the homecoming dance (the same one Jessica wore that dress to), so he had someone to go with. He punched some kid in the face and broke his nose for calling Harper crazy. While Geoff was in prison, Harper went two to three times a month to see him on visiting day. Geoff's been a stand up guy and dear friend. Never anything else.

"I'm sure you did break his heart" Jessica replies with a shrug that belies the seriousness of her tone. "He loved you and he had no reason to think you didn't love him. This probably came out of the blue for him. He'll be confused. Hurt. Depressed. Probably getting drunk too. Though it's not often that both sides of the break-up end up drunk and depressed." Another shrug. "But, hey, you did the right thing." Sarcasm much. "You made sure that neither of you would be hurt by a possible issue at some indeterminate point in time rather than being happy now and for quite some time. Who would try and say that was the wrong move?"

Another sip of her vodka. "I get it, Harpo, sure. Do I approve of it? Not when it makes my best friend so miserable and fearful of ever being happy." A wry smile about Geoff's offer. "That will be two nights in a row you'll get plastered. Librarian scandal! Careful, Harpo, you may end up consoling yourself in his arms." Her tone is light and teasing. Harper and Geoff may have only been friends in the past but who knows what may happen tomorrow.

Harper listens to her friend both reassure and chide her in Jessica's own inimitable way. "He knew for awhile that I couldn't say 'love'. But I don't think he expected..." Harper considers those words, knowing what they mean. "Better now than later. Better him alive than dead. Just better -- all the way around."

Harper surges unsteadily across the sofa to pretty much dive onto her friend, arms around her. "Can I stay here tonight, Jess?" But that's when Jessica is being wry about Geoff. "No no no. That's... no! Geoff is like a big brother." Who is the same age. But Harper doesn't let facts and quantities get in the way. "He'll always watch out for me. That's what he does." She presses her face against the side of Jessica's neck and mutters, muffled, "I'm not sleeping with Geoff. That would be ridiculous."

"I would have said sleeping with Everett was ridiculous too...on first impressions" Jessica snorts as she wraps her arms around Harper and hugs her tight. "Second impressions too. Of course you can stay the night. Do you think I'm going to let you stagger home in this state?" A hand gently rubbing Harper's back as they speak.

"It doesn't really sound better for anyone, Harper. Honey, you can't let this 'curse' of yours control your life. You're denying yourself happiness just in case something happens." Jessica lets out a long sigh. "Sorry, I'll leave the nagging for later, tonight we can get drunk and watch movies. Not romances...that wouldn't be good for either of us. Hmm, do you think we're at the level where horror movies are like comedies?"

"I really need to be with someone safe tonight. That's all. Someone who I --" Whup! Harper almost said it. "Yes. It was incredibly unlikely. Someday when it feels a little less raw and bloody, I'll tell you about it if you really want to know." Harper relaxes in her friend's embrace and takes some slow breaths that come out like sighs.

"I didn't love him, Jessica. And he was falling hard. You have to agree--" She says this, drawing back to look her friend in the eye to continue, "-- that letting him fall deeper would have just ended up more painful." She pauses and then smiles a slow, soft smile at Jessica. "I think tonight is a perfect night for horror movies." Harper tends to be quiet difficult to watch the genre with. Lights need to be turned on, the video needs to be paused frequently, and many, many jokes need to be made at the film's expense. "Which one did you have in mind?"

"I don't need to hear the sordid details" Jessica smiles, stroking Harper's hair. "At least you have sordid details to tell. And you can say the 'l' word around me, Harpo. I assure you I'll be fine." A pause before, "Love...not lesbian. If you didn't love him and you're sure you never would...not because of any 'curse' but because of your feelings...then, yes, better to rip the band aid off earlier than later. Of course, it had to be stuck on somewhere hairy. It's never easy."

"Let me think. Since you're watching it with me, we need one that has little suspense and a plot that can be stopped and started without ruining it. Hmm...guess we can always go with a really bad and cheap slasher film. One with an axe killer so we can say things about the killings like 'I guess he buried the hatchet there' or 'She axed for it'." They know each other so well. "Let me grab the nibblies and you can go through Netflix and find us something. Heck, if you want to watch a documentary on the Flemish cotton industry of the 13th Century, we can probably queue that up."

Jessica is a treasure among treasures. Harper leans her head into the gentle stroking. "It's a lose-lose game, Jessica. Ninety-nine percent of the time." Oh, Harper's such a pessimist now. "We'd better be able to talk about lesbians. I mean, that's half of your demographic." What Harper thinks is the other half should be amusing. "And if you think your sex life is off topic, you're sadly mistaken. And I wouldn't even mind hearing about it. I'm just that good of a friend." Harper draws a hint of a smile on for that bit.

Harper actually is startled into a laugh by Jessica's commentary about axe murderer slasher films. "No no no. No Flemish anything. Too romantic." Harper actually manage to tease this, though her voice is still heavy. "Okay. I'll grab the remote." She gets up, stumbles a bit as her equilibrium tilts, then grabs said remote and flops back down to the sofa and starts clicking through options. "There's Saw. I never saw that one. I wonder if there's a lumbermill in it. It would be a travesty if there wasn't."

"Ah, but that one percent is sooo awesome" Jessica assures her statistical friend. "Or so I'm led to believe. You know what I learned from discovering I was 'fluid', Harper? That I can get rejected by both sexes." A quick kiss to Harper's forehead before she wriggles off to get the food. "You want to hear about my sex life? Okay. Ready." There is silence. "Did you enjoy it? Pretty exciting, right?"

Plates of Persian themed finger food are placed on the coffee table. "We can see 'Saw' if you want. I think there's eight of them now if we go for the long hall. No sawmill. Not like that place up in the woods. It's set in a bathroom. So, I guess it is a travesty and possibly false advertising. Hard to tell these days." Jessica flops alongside her friend, pulling her in to lean against her shoulder. With all that vodka, she's expecting Harper will be snoozing before too long.

Harper pulls her feet up beneath her on the sofa and wishes she had brought a cardigan. There's got to be a blanket on a chair or the sofa, hasn't there? She pulls over and around her shoulders. "Rejection just means you're putting yourself out there. And the people who reject you? They would have just been in the way when the right one came along." That's pretty romantic talk for a woman who just swore off Love (again). "I think you learned a lot from being fluid, darling. You learned how much you like ladies. And that is a beautiful thing. You know, I know something about Lex, but I'm not sure if I should tell you. Do you want to leave her out of talk? Or do you want to know?"

Harper looks at the food with an apathetic gaze but says to Jessica, "It smells delicious, honeybuns. Your cooking is always so good. I still daydream about the ribs you made for Kevin and me." Harper pauses and looks at her friend with a disbelieving gaze. "In a bathroom? Why that's the most unpleasant of settings. What? Does someone drop a ring in the sink and they have to get it out? How frightening." When Jessica leans close, Harper offers her one end of the blanket and settles in against her friend. So far, the vodka's taken the edge off and made Harper a little dizzy. Her words aren't censored, but with Jessica are they ever? She runs her palm over Jessica's knee and looks back to the television. "Do you not like this one? I can choose a different one."

"Let's remember that I've only kissed one lady in a manner that suggested I was willing to kiss her other places too. It could have been Lex rather than ladies in general but I'm willing to be rejected by the entire human race to discover the truth" Jessica smirks, happy to share the throw rug decorated with an image of the Watergate Hotel - it's a journalist thing. "You'll forgive me if I take romantic advice from a woman who refuses to have romances with just a pinch of salt. And oregano for flavor." A shrug about Lex. "She's still a friend and she has a lot on her mind. Not me, I hasten to add. No need to spill any gossip about her."

"My cooking is not good. It's magnificent" Jessica grins with a nudge at Harper. "Harpo, when talking about a bathroom, maybe you want to leave out any ring talk? Though I guess a ring in the sink is less painful than a sink in the ring." A pause. "Top me up, Harpo, I almost made sense there." She holds out her glass. "This movie is fine. It has the guy from 'The Princess Bride' in it. Gosh I love that movie but maybe not the one for tonight. You know, true love winning through against all odds...even death."

Harper turns her head to look at Jessica. "And you liked it, right?" Harper's just making sure. "Until you decide, you just have more options. Hell, you could stay fluid if you want to. It's kind of super-hero-ish. Sexy, too." Yeah. Harper's version of sexy? It may be in some sort of nowhere zone just about now. She reaches out for her glass and then bypasses it and grabs the closest, yummiest morsel that she sees and pops in into her mouth. "Oh, god, Jessica. I think I may not have eaten for awhile. That's ... really good." If she weren't inebriated, she might have made that sound less astonished. She nods once in response to the comment about Lex. "I respect your wishes."

Jessica praises her noteworthy cooking skills. "Hear hear!" Harper agrees like some religious call-and-response. The ring joke makes Harper laugh with the sheer ridiculousness of it. "I wouldn't like this world at all without you in it, Jess. I hope you never forget that." Harper reaches for the vodka bottle and unscrews the lid. But she has to grab Jessica's wrist to pour into the glass without spilling. Achievement reached! She smiles faintly, then pours her own and recaps the vodka before clinking her glass to Jessica's. "Best friends." She flickers a surprised look to the television screen. "The blonde guy who played Wesley? Why can't I remember his name?" Probably because she's quickly approaching hammered. "Yeah. Let's save 'Princess Bride' for another night. It's fun to quote along with." She adds with a flickered look to her friend, "He was only mostly dead."

"Touche" Jessica grins about the 'mostly dead'. "But neither of you are dead at all. And in this place, who's to say we can't bring people back from the dead. I mean, come on, Everett looked like a zombie already. A big biker zombie who runs an ice cream parlour. Hey, at least no one said this place was boring." She blushes a little as she nods. "Yeah, I kissed a girl and I liked it. Superhero-ish? Hmm, well I certainly seem to be equipped with repulser rays so maybe you're right? 'Journo-Girl'! No, that sounds too much like Gyno-Girl and who would want to be that?"

"Cary Elwes. Which sounds like a sheep...or I don't know what sheep sound like." Jessica smiles warmly at how much Harper would miss her. "And I would hate for you to not be around either." A clink of glass returned. "Best friends. Forever and ever. Even after death." She snuggles in against Harper, happy to be snuggled back. "If you wanted to talk about Everett, we could. I'm here for you."

Harper brushes fingertips through Jessica's hair. "He's a pretty pale guy," she agrees. "And his hair was prettier than mine. That wasn't my favorite thing." Drunk-Harper is mildly more forthcoming than sober Harper. "Stop blushing about that, you silly girl. There's nothing to be embarrassed about kissing anyone. Well, I'm sure there are examples, but not anyone you've chosen. And kisses are kisses. They count on your lifetime score. So don't throw them away just because they're not one certain thing." She listens. "I don't get the impression that Lex was repulsed by you. Not at all. You should let that count for something. I don't think she just goes around kissing people randomly to shut them down. I really don't." Harper has no commentary fit for Gyno-Girl. None at all.

Harper tries it out, and it's more fun drunk. She bleats the name Cary Elwes. Oh yes she did! Laughter briefly flickers behind those tired brown eyes. The toast makes her happy, it makes her relax, and then she downs the rest of the vodka in her glass. "Hey, it's starting. Who is that guy?" Snuggled against her friend, Harper has to sit up a little to turn and look at her. "I'll tell you. I promise. Just not tonight, okay?"

"If she wasn't repulsed by me then what was the problem? She just likes leading people on?" Jessica shakes her head at her own question. "I don't believe that. She has issues that I still want to help her with but I don't think manipulating people is her thing. I hope not. I dunno, maybe I'm just old-fashioned and though that kissing someone while I was naked in their bathroom meant something. I should read the 'Living Today' section of the Gazette more. Find out how to do things."

"Okay, no Everett and no Lex tonight. Just Jess and Harpo. Jesspo? Harpica? Jesser? Hmm, that last one sounds like what English guys do while watching internet porn. 'Just gonna jesser off one, guvnor'. Hey, did I tell you I saw that British serial killer again. Name's Carver. Even bought a place in town. That guy can sure whine." Jessica shrugs. "But, you know, English. Expected of him. I'm not going to ruin the movie for you. Watch and discover. Though that bathroom could really do with a clean."

"She had too many stokes in the fire. You came along after she'd gathered quite a few. I don't think you had a chance in spite of how wonderful and sexy and affectionate and brilliant you are. I think she was attracted to you more than she wanted to be. And that's why everything happened in the first place. She only shut things down because she had prior obligations. Think of it that way, Jess. Because knowing what i know? I'm pretty sure I'm right: you're irresistable even when someone's already locked down."

No other partners. Harper nods and reaches for another nibblet from the tray Jessica made, eats it, and immediately reaches for a third. The name iterations make Harper start laughing. "I think we should just stick with our own names." She reaches under the blanket and squeezes her best friend's knee. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. Your serial killer is Alistair Carver? You're joking, right Jess?" Harper looks at her friend with an odd expression. "Brit with a strange sense of his own individuality?" She nods when Jess says 'English'. About the bathroom. "Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. Is the whole movie in the bathroom?"

"At least Lexi's fire is getting stoked" Jessica smirks. "Oh well, good to know I can't compete when it comes down to it." Damn right she is going to find the negative - she gets that from Harper. "Alistair Carver, that's him. I wish I was joking. Don't tell me you know him." A roll of her eyes. "You're going to tell me he's your best friend ever now, right? Well, other than me. At least I can count on that security. "Strange sense of his own importance more like but, yeah, an individual. That's for sure. Likes to watch teenagers make out. He said the person he cared for was fucking a cop. The things we do for speeding tickets."

"Mostly in the bathroom. I think there are one or two scenes outside but this is what happens when you don't have any money. Same guy made 'Aquaman' so I'm sure he isn't into bathrooms for bathroom sake. Just the money he had at the time" Jessica offers before grabbing some food for herself. "You know what we should watch? 'Duck Soup'. That film can make anyone happy."

"I don't think you ever got the chance to compete, Jess. That's my point." Harper's such a bad influence. "I've met him. He was talking to Lilith about not setting him on fire. Yeah, I meant that Lilith. From school." She shakes her head, "He's not my best friend. I only saw him the once, and he was more interested in Lilith's tits than me. I doubt he knows who I am." She laughs and pours some more vodka for them both. "He's definitely not my best friend. Not even close, sweet cheeks." She tips her head, "The person he cared about was .. fucking a cop? Why was he telling you all this, Jess? It can't have been for a story. I got the impression he likes his privacy. Like, a lot." Speeding tickets. Harper laughs again and it's faintly reminiscent of her actual laugh!

Harper stuffs a couple more treats Jessica made into her mouth. "So if it's in this bathroom the whole time, there's got to be something really interesting that happens there. Like maybe the bidets are really good, if you know what I mean." Harper's not usually particularly bawdy. This is a monumental moment. "Wait. 'Duck Soup'? We're not watching this one? I was looking forward to getting wrapped up in this one so I'd actually feel scared. It would be nice to feel scared, I think."

"We'll watch it after this movie. You're staying the night, remember? And we can call in sick for work tomorrow if need be." Jessica muses a moment. "Even though we are way the most important and necessary components of our respective workplaces they can survive a day." A nod about Carver. "Well, Lilith does have nice tits. I even appreciate them more now. How is she going? I think Carver just wanted someone to complain at. Do you know what he does ? He had an awful lot of papers he was going through. Lots of property stuff but he doesn't strike me as working in real estate. Unless he is looking for somewhere to bury the bodies."

"Hmm, I think a full-force bidet is in my near future. Less battery use. If you know what I mean." Jessica likes bawdy Harper. Though it may be dangerous to get them in full flight. Case in point - "Do you like thick cocks or long ones?"

"Oh yeah, Jess. I'm gonna totally be alert for a second movie. We should add 'Gandhi' to the queue." Harper laughs. "While I'm thinking about it, I should call in now so Melinda knows to go in in the morning." Harper reaches over to the table to grab her cell phone and starts typing into it. There are multiple little curses along the way as she doesn't have as steady of fingers as she would like. "Hey. I got her. Maybe I won't have to call." A few more minutes of texting. "Okay. That's covered. She's taking Monday and Tuesday. Geoff wanted me to stay over and play paintball. I bought him the gear for a Christmas present. I think it'll be pretty awesome to shoot him with paint. I'm not so sure about being shot, though."

Harper looks back to her bestie. "She's okay. Got into a bit of a bad spot with Byron and some cursed jewelry, A ring I think. Carver and Magnolia and Alexander were involved. Do you know Alexander? He's an interesting fellow. Conspiracy theorist-private Dick?" She breathes in a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry his girl is dancing the horizontal mamba with some other guy. A cop-guy. That's not happy at all." She hmms. "You don't think he's really a serial killer, do you Jess? I mean you seem like you're joking. And I don't think you'd hang around someone you actually thought was guilty of that kind of thing. How did you even come across him again, anyway?"

Harper starts laughing again at Jessica's response to the bidet joke. "Yeah. Maybe if we get excellent bidets we won't have to worry about the rest of it all." The laughter turns to coughing as Jessica asks that question. "What the -- are you really -- seriously?" Even drunk Harper stammers at that one.

"Why stop at 'Gandhi'? We could watch Andy Warhol's 'Empire State'...it's called something like that. Twenty-four hours of a camera staring at the Empire State Building. And it's still better than 'The Phantom Menace'." Jessica watches Harper deal with the texting. "Ask her what she's wearing" she teases before nodding. "Tomorrow I'll take you over to Geoff's and you can smear paint over each other as much as you like. Not sure about painting his balls though." It sounds like she's coming out of her shell. Damn alcohol!

"The bad spot with Byron seems to be every one of his properties. There is something going on there with that guy. I really should catch up with him...assuming the editor doesn't try and kill the story again." She stares at Harper for a moment. "A cursed ring? I shall try to refrain from relating this to any previous conversation we had this evening. Nah, he's not a serial killer. He's too obvious for that. But there's something odd about him.

Jessica winks about how serious her question is. "A girl is curious, that's all. I prefer thick. At least I have that memory of such things. Harpo...are you turning red? Are you choking?"

Harper listens to her best friend rise to the occasion like a phoenix. She actually is smiling as Jessica gets to painting balls. "I am not asking Melinda what she's wearing. She's fifty two years old." Still, it's her smile. Jessica's magic works. With the help of a lot of vodka and a tawdry horror flick playing. "Everything is better than 'The Phantom Menace'." On this they will always agree, rain or shine. "Please, please, please don't make me think about Geoff Turner's balls. I'll thank you right now to stop that entire line of thinking. Ugh."

Jessica speaks about Byron. "Be careful there, Jessica. You know Byron. He'll lay down the financial smack if you're not careful. You want to keep him on your good side. He's got lots and lots of friends. Plus, I mean, we grew up with the man. I don't care how juicy the story is. You gotta keep it in perspective, right?" Harper doesn't want her friend getting mixed up in something bad. And neither does she want bad fortune to befall Byron further. Jessica mentions the ring. "Yeah. it ended up degloving Lilith's finger. I think that's what they said. I saw the picture and it was gruesome. She was doing better by the time we went over, though."

Harper simply cannot believe her friend asked such a question. "I guess I haven't compared sizes. I mean .. God, Jessica. You are a ridiculous, outrageous, lascivious person. And those maybe some of your best qualities. What does that say about me?" Harper is flushed from both the alcohol and the subject matter.

"Madonna is in her sixties and she dresses like a dominatrix. You think I'm gonna be wearing sensible clothing at fifty-two? It might be my last chance at getting something" Jessica smirks. "Might be my first chance. Okay, no thinking about Geoff's potatoes, just concentrated on the meat." She is terrible tonight, though talk of Byron is enough to bring the humor down.

"I know Byron is one of us but that means he should be much more open than he is. People change, I guess. And money should never be the arbitrator of truth. Degloving? That sounds...painful. And they're handing out pictures of it?"

"You don't need to compare them, Harper, it was more about how you felt with them. And I'm lascivious only because I can't get any. If I was, then I'd be blushing...like you. And what is says about you is that you're a patient, loving angel with your best friend."

"Jessica!" Harper cries as if her friend's name was 'uncle'. "None of that with Geoff. Seriously. Like a brother."

On to Byron. "I agree," she admits. "--about money. When you're right, you're right. But there's a lot more going on with him, I think, than appears. And I don't want you getting mixed up in that stuff. It's pretty frightening. You remember those bones I was telling you about? Well, he ended up with them." Harper shakes her head slowly. "I really tried to do the right thing with those bones. But I think they have a lot to do with some of the incredibly bad stuff that's been happening." She then adds, unnecessarily, "Off the record."

Harper fishmouths. "It could be the best --" She hesitates at the word. "-- cock in the world, Jessica. But if you don't care about who it's attached to, then it's really, um, pointless." Harper starts laughing. It's very drunk laughter, but it's laughter. Jessica receives a perfect ten for her best-friending score.

"Pointless? Sheesh, what shapes have you been seeing" Jessica laughs in reply, giving Harper a squeeze. "Geoff isn't my brother" she notes in an attempt at a wicked tone but it just sounds slurred. Damn alcohol.

"Don't worry about me getting caught up in things. It's what I do. I need to let the truth be revealed without thought to my safety. If I wanted to just do safe bullshit without evidence, I'd work for Fox News. What does Byron want with the bones?" Curiouser and curiouser.

"Sometimes, Harpo, it doesn't matter if you care about what is at the other end. You know, there is no other end on a vibrator, and I enjoy it immensely. It has a rounded point at least." Jessica pauses. "Is this my fault we're talking about this?"

"No. No, he's not your brother. But that's how /I/ am going to think of him, dammit." Harper's laughter continues, a little edged in hysteria, but it's better than the emotionless lump she arrived as. Probably.

"Fine, Jess. But if you leave your safety behind and something happens to you? I have to say I'm going to kill myself and come kill you a second time. Just keep that in mind. Ugh. Working for Fox News would be the same as dying. But far more horribly and with lots of sycophantic and narcissistic assholes around." Harper's mouth is never this salty. Thank you, vodka.

Harper comes full circle to agree with Jessica. "There's nothing wrong with a good vibrator. Old Faithful gets the job done." Harper downs yet another shot. She's lost count now and she's feeling nicely tingly, twirly and all that pain that was eating her alive when she arrived is buried nicely for the time being. "It's so your fault, and you know it. And, it might be why I love you so dearly. Or at least one of the reasons why."

"You love me for my dirty mouth?" Jessica considers this through a vodka haze. "That sounds quite erotic in a way that eludes me...dammit. How is your vibrator going? You still only have the one? Damn, girl, we need to get you out and about."

A snort of amusement at being haunted beyond the grave. "No killing yourself, Harpo. You'll have eternity to harangue me once you've died naturally. Besides, by then you may have a husband and children. Stranger things have happened." A dramatic sigh. "Everything is my fault. It's such a curse to be in control of the Universe like that. Is Geoff staying out of trouble?"

"You can take me shopping," Harper agrees. "Online." She closes her sleepy eyes. "You can make pretty much anything sound erotic, Jessica. Your journalistic chops never cease to amaze me." She lays her head on Jessica's shoulder. "Like, ... something else." Harper drifts off a bit.

"What? No. I'm never having children. I can't. You know this." She stirs and rolls her head to the sofa back so she can look at Jessica. "I won't die if you don't. That's the way it's gonna be. The universe is safe with you. What? Geoff? He just broke up with his girlfriend. Actually, I think she broke up with him, but I'm not sure. He and his buddy Marshall Easton were on opposite sides of the charity paintball match. You know, the one that three badass women won? He's pretty good, all things considered. But he's a resilient S.O.B. It's one of his redeeming qualities. That and the fact that he doesn't let a girl walk home alone in the middle of the night."

"Lex doesn't let girls walk home alone at night either" Jessica notes before turhing her head to give Harper a tender kiss on the crown of her head. "C'mon, beautiful, time for us to go to bed. In a purely platonic drunken way. We'll watch some more movies in the morning." If their hangovers aren't too bad. She stands and takes Harper's hands to pull her up. "You should be privileged, not many people know what my bed feels like. Put up a good review for me."

Harper is easily swayed. She blinks a little, but it doesn't help her focus. "Water. I should drink a big glass of water before I pass out." Every time this happens Harper tries so hard to remember to drink water, and she never seems to get around to it. Sometimes the tumbler of water is right next to her when she wakes up, mocking the rockets going off in her head. She puts her hands in Jessica's and lets the reporter tug her to her feet. "You sure you don't mind me staying?" She smiles, "You show me where to write it, and I'll do you justice, sweet cheeks." Wherever Jessica tugs is where Harper goes, stumbling a bit as she follows.

"I'll bring you some water" Jessica promises - that full glass will be found on the sink in the morning. "Of course I don't mind you staying. You're my best friend. One day, when we're old...er...we'll probably be sharing a house as cat loving spinsters. Strange vibrating sounds emanating from within at all times of the day and night." Leading Harper into the bedroom, she gives her a tight hug and gestures to the bed. "Get in. I'll be right back with the water."

Harper follows Jessica's lead then hugs her clumsily. "You're my best friend." How many times is she going to say that this evening? Harper trips over to the bed and spends a great deal time more than she should need to take to undo her pants and slide them off. The grey tee stays on, along with underwear and she tries, eventually successfully, to pull back the covers and climb into bed. Her head hits the pillows, however, and she's out, like a light, her head on the pillow facing inward on the bed and at a diagonal. Should Jessica try, she won't be that difficult to shove over to make room for the other woman. Her exhalations are quiet puffs of breath, her raven hair half covers her face. "Don't go..." she mumbles.

It's nice that Jessica has a beautiful woman in her bed at last - though it's her best friend and nothing will happen. A warm smile for the stumbling woman as she makes her way into the bed before Jessica heads to get that water. And leaves it out there as expected. She dresses down to t-shirt and underwear before clambering in as best she can. At those mumbled words she frowns a little. They were probably meant for Everett and Harper has let that belief in curses ruin her life once more. Jessica slides into the bed and wraps her arms around her friend from behind. "You're safe" she whispers.