2019-09-21 - It's All Bad.

I’m dying.

I have to be dying.

Not even zombie-mom biting the shit out of my shoulder felt as bad as this. Even shifting on the bed feels like fire is running through my veins.

I can’t think. I can’t stomach hardly anything. I hate that they have to see me this way but at least my brothers aren’t here. It’s better they stay away from this god-forsaken town. Get out and stay out.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT?!?!?!

I laugh. Despite myself. Despite the pain. Despite the fact the action makes me want to start gagging. I’m only in a bra and panties and I’m burning alive. Oh. Holy shit! I’m burning alive! The bed’s actually on fire!

I can hear myself screaming as the flames lap at my skin.

Someone’s shaking me. I can feel the cool water against my forehead. I’m gasping for breath...and I feel horrible and achy but I’m not burning anymore. Sweaty and sticky, but I’m alive.

Declan’s murmuring to me. I don’t really know what he’s saying, but I think I was really screaming. So, maybe he’s trying to calm me down. I can feel a lump in my throat. I want to cry again. For the Umpteenth time this week. But crying hurts.

EVERYTHING HURTS.

Fuck me, man. I’d give anything a bump right now.