2019-10-15 - Broken Dreams

One errand done, Byron returns home mid-day, most likely in between meetings or things of that nature. He's already texting someone once he makes his way through the penthouse door, slightly annoyed by it all. Most likely, that meeting was put on hold, but with Gohl gone, everyone was trying to pick up the pieces and get back to the normalcy of their lives, if that even existed in Gray Harbor. Pulling up his calendar, he switches his schedule around, before his eyes flicker to view the time at the top of his screen. "As much as that flu sucked, it at least gave me an excuse to put off meeting with anyone." He murmurs to himself, bringing up the actual phone app, going through his contacts list.

He had tenants, local business owners for the festival, entrepreneurial partners, as well as a few names at City Hall and the Historical Society who he'd been juggling when the murders were still going, during the point of the exorcism and even now. Due to losing some of those days to flu-- or other matters that had come in during that time, he's still playing work catch up.

It's not been a good time for anyone, flu, murderous intent, just, everything has been off in a way that could never have been prepared for, in any way shape or form.

It's about to get worse, in fact. When she hears him arriving in the penthouse, Vivian steps back inside from where she's been out on the balcony despite the cold, bundled up in a warm coat with a glass of whiskey in her hands. "Byron."

"Hey, Viv. Got your note." And yes, Byron did read her note. He'd thought about it during the morning, pondering on what she'd intended to speak to him about, but she knows that he's always had way too many things on his plate. He'll at least, put off calling whoever he was meaning to speak to. It's cold, but if she wants to be outside, who is he to be concerned. This was normal PNW fare. Removing the thick, heavy coat and draping it across the back of the couch, he walks over to the espresso machine, reaching up into a cabinet to retrieve a mug. "After everything that we've gone through, I'm sure that we have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah, I think that we do have a few things to talk about." Vivian agrees, glancing down at the glass in her hand before she knocks back the final contents of the glass, closing the balcony door behind her before she moves to get herself a refill. A very generous one, for that matter. "I'll let you go first...what do you think we should be talking about?"

Placing the mug in the espresso machine, Byron starts it up, his back turning to lean against the kitchen counter as he stares across the way at Vivian. "Everything." That's his response, "The fact that you shouldn't have had to make any sacrifices at all for the sake of Gohl. Or that you even went through any of this shit." The more that he goes on, the more that his own tension rises. "And for that, I'm sorry." Thorne's never been a heavy drinker, but he'll rarely fault anyone from taking to drink. Especially with what had happened recently. "Something happened. We're not out of it yet."

"I don't think any of us should have had to, but that isn't this esoteric, metaphysical..." Vivian gestures with the refilled glass, "Clearly the rules don't always apply, or apply in a logical, rational way. But I did, and I made the sacrifices, just like everyone else that seems to have come into contact with things." She takes another swallow from the glass before she sets it down, "Nor do I think it is over, agreed. But evidently this whole weirdness has been an on going thing, in one form or another."

"When I said that it wasn't over," Byron says, turning back to his coffee. He's taking it black today, rather than fill it with milk foam or anything else fancy. "I mean..." There's a pause, when he breathes in an almost frustrated breath, "That we fucked up." The mug now in hand, he makes his way closer to the island. "Do I believe that there was another route we could've taken?" While he shrugs his shoulders ever so slightly, he knows the answer to this. "Probably. Yes. It was something that we'd all been discussing for a time." For now, he sets the mug down on the counter, letting it cool a bit. "Though I can't say that even that course of action was the right way to go."

A pause, "But you're right about this town."

"It is possible." Vivian starts to quietly tug the gloves she's wearing off her hands, setting the down before she smooths a hand over them to smooth out any creases in the leather. "It's hard to know if you're playing the game right when you don't know all the rules, isn't it?" She folds her hands around her glass, leaning back, legs crossing at the ankle, "Problem isn't you don't know if that other course of action was the right one, the problem is that not knowing the rules allows them to decide that whatever you do was wrong, and still make you pay. It's basically roulette, where all the chambers of the gun have a bullet in them."

There's a quiet moment, a frown passing briefly across her face, "Do you still love me, Byron?"

"We could've listened to the crone who's played this game far longer than any of us have." Byron comes out and says whether he believes it or not, "And she's still alive, right?" It's hard not to take advice from your elders when they've probably been through a lot themselves. It's only then that he reaches for his coffee to finally lift it to his lips for a sip. This would be his third cup today and there were many hours ahead of him.

Then the question comes up. It doesn't slow down his drinking, taking this time to ponder on what he's about to say, before the cup eventually is lowered and his eyes lift to regard Vivian directly. "You know I do." He slowly licks at his lips, "This is about Lilith, isn't it?"

"The woman at the funeral?" Vivian doesn't seem to recall who the woman is, potentially never having met her face to face, "Listening to someone that had been playing the game, and surviving, for a long time probably would have been good. But not sure if that would make a difference to the situation if things had changed, or escalated, the game itself changing....a lot of ifs, and no guarantee those ifs would have worked out in the end, anyways."

When he hits the proverbial nail on the head there is a slight upwards shift of a brow before she finishes the drink, setting the glass down, "Of course it is, Byron."

"The very one." Byron says, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his mug. "She's the scion of the more prominent family in town. We went to her and her brother for assistance in this matter since they'd dealt with Gohl before. Or their family has. She told us that they'd handle this. I mean, when we all gave up a part of us, something important to us, to be buried with him? What exactly did we do?" His eyes narrow a bit when his mind tries to wrap his head around things.

Rounding the island, taking a quick sip before resetting the mug down again, he reaches a hand to place upon Vivian's shoulder, drawing her into a quiet embrace if she allows it. "She was my first. I never thought I'd see her again. I'd thought we've moved on when we did meet." A pause, drawing back so that he can better look on her now, "After everything that happened, how our lives were shaken. It's like we found each other again."

The two conversations are so distant that it's clear trying to juggle them is probably only going to last for a brief period of time, and when he mentions they'd handled it there is doubt clear on her face. "Not very well dealt with."

Which is a nice, safe, brief response to a problem that she couldn't even begin to have intelligently useful things to say about it. Especially when he moves around the island to put his hand on her shoulder, "You found each other again?" Vivian doesn't push back against the hug until he starts to draw back to look at her, a hand reaching up to push against him as she takes a step back, "So you somehow thought that it was acceptable to cheat on me because you found each other again?"

When accused of cheating, Byron doesn't say much to defend himself with, but he will say, "Do you know who was there for me when my ribcage was crushed? Or when I was pulled into," He shakes his head, "Four dreams in the span of a little over a week. His lips part, as if he's about to say something more about this, but he refrains, "I was laying out here fighting to breathe when she came to heal me. Then when Clayton dragged me here after I'd suffered head trauma, she came without hesitation. She knows how to fix me more than anyone else probably does." He then adds, "Do I think it's acceptable that I grew close to her during that time?" His jaw sets tightly here, "Our circumstances threw us together. I nearly /died/." On more than one occasion too... "No, it wasn't acceptable."

There is a whole lot to unpack in that comment, so it takes her a moment to respond to it, "So you think I've somehow failed because I'm not some super hero?" Vivian steps back once more, slamming the glass in her hand onto the island, "Alexander was here, but you're not sleeping with him. Magnolia saved all of you when this very same person who you're saying knows how to fix you better than anyone else was trying to kill you all. I was there for you through all of this when I haven't a clue how to be part of this. But I'm sorry." She reaches for the gloves she'd set down earlier, "I'm so very sorry that I'm not good enough to save you, or to understand any of this crazy stuff that before I came here, I've never even heard of."

With the gloves in her hand again she reaches into the pocket of the coat she never took off, pulling out a small box to set it on the island before she pushes it across towards him, "I'm sorry that I changed my entire life for you, Byron. Moved here, for you. Risked everything I understood, for you. I'm sorry I thought there was more between us than there clearly was."

"Now you're putting words into my mouth. I didn't say that /you/ failed." Byron is quick to counter with, "I said absolutely nothing of the sort. Who knows what would've happened if Lilith weren't here." Then she tries to toss out names of people who he either loathed or she brings up Maggie, who was more of a sister to him that anything. "And I don't expect /you/ to do anything. But what did happen was in /my/ desperate moments, the girl who I thought I'd lost was there and it was... comforting. Like a dream." He then shakes his head at her, "It's not like I hooked up with her when I first laid eyes on her, but the deeper we got into this shit, the more circumstances drew us together. Does that mean I love you any le--"

And then she brings up everything she risked when moving here. "When you showed up here all of a sudden, boy was it a surprise. But I was happy to see you. So don't think I was disappointed nor am I disappointed in you. But you of all people should understand what it is that I'm going through." He then scoffs, "Do you think that we understand any of this? If you'd asked, I would've told you to stay away. Move to Seattle. This place is a shit show."

"No, it just meant you respected me less. You didn't even respect me enough to tell me to my face, I had to figure it out because you were always running off to protect her. Of course, you're going through terrible things, but think about me, Byron. I did come here, I did do my very best to be here, and help. You understand these things more than me."

There is a shake of her head before she picks up the box again, this time moving towards him to grab for his hand to slap the box into it, "The receipt is in the box, you can return the ring. But the plane tickets are in the grave with Gohl." With that handed over she turns to start heading for the bedroom, shoving the gloves into her pocket on the way.

"I was running off to protect her. What the fuck else would you for someone you cared about? If it were you, I would've done the same thing, but she'd been swept into several dreams of her own." Byron practically spits out. "I understand these things more than you? We've barely scratched the surface. I know people /vanished/, but where? Why? I don't even know everything that I'm capable of. And I'm sorry if I am here trying to put out every single fucking fire that starts because of this dream shadow bullshit. But what happened between Lilith and I just happened. Do /you/ actually think that every single that I ran to check up on her that I was sleeping with her? Seriously? It /just/ happened." His tone softens, "And I never lied about how much I cared for. I was always going to be there for her, like with any other friend."

When his hand is grabbed, she can feel the tension in his arm when she slaps the box into it, his eyes staring down at it. Rather than opening it up, he sets it onto the island, his eyes trailing behind her. He was curious about what she had sacrificed. What she could've brought with her that was worth a damn.

At the question about what she'd do she comes to a stop, then turns around to face him, "I'd have helped my friend, but if they were someone I had ever been involved with, or had feelings for, I'd have been honest with you. You threw your keys at me, and dismissed me like I was the help. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? Do...do you have any concept about what a slap in the face that was? I bit my tongue, I left...I didn't start a fight with you about it because I put it aside as you just caring. As a friend."

Vivian takes a few steps back towards the kitchen, "Did I think you were sleeping with her? No. I was hoping you weren't. But when I asked someone what fucking danger she was in, you know what I was told? I was told I better talk to you. I kept hoping I was making the wrong assumptions, but it became more obvious that the only assumptions I made was that you and I were going to have a life together, a future together. Marriage, Byron, kids! And that you respected me. You couldn't even tell me, Byron. How would you feel if the positions were reversed? You can't possibly tell me you wouldn't feel betrayed."

"We were all full of anger at that point." Byron says remembering that exact day even if the events mentioned isn't the way he perceived it, "I threw my keys at you because I didn't want you to be stuck there while I dealt with that bullshit." Carver and Lilith combined. "Embarrassing? You're reading far into it that. Everyone else wanted to get the hell out as it were. Maybe if you'd brought it up and told me that you were upset, then I would've explained myself. Did you really want to wait there as we had our screaming fest? I didn't trust the guy then, I don't trust him now."

This is where his brow quirks, "They know full well what FUCKING danger she was in. Do you think I'd even be at her place half as much if nothing wasn't going down? That these creatures weren't hunting her. Or me." Oh how things probably would've been different. "So you're telling me after they explained everything that we were going through, that you're upset about /this/? Yes, I slept with her. Finally. Should I have told you about it?" A pause, "With everything going on, I needed time to think. Clear my head. /I/ didn't know what I really wanted. Things happened so quickly, I had my hands full juggling everything from endangered friends, planning on how to stop Gohl. Murders in my apartments. Erin Addington's being attacked. Tenants threatening to sue over things OUT OF MY CONTROL." His voice raises here. "Now? This is the first fucking time in a long time that I've had time to even breathe."

He then goes back to her question, "And that's why we're talking now. Because there's finally time to do so."

"She told everyone to leave but him, and you refused." Vivian snaps back, moving back towards the kitchen so that she's not having to yell across half the apartment, "You kept pushing and pushing at her about staying, you could have also taken a second to say that to me. But instead you kept circling around staying and refusing to leave when it was suggested."

One hand raises up to her forehead, fingers rubbing against it before she laughs, "Explain to me everything you were going through? No one explained anything. They avoided telling me what danger, they danced around answers, and then leapt right into telling me to not do anything rash, but that you probably deserved it." She spreads her hands out, then drops them onto the island, "So what do you want, Byron? Because I've a good guess that I know, but tell me what you really want."

"Of course, I refused. I. Do. Not. Trust. That. Guy." Byron has never held back this hint of animosity that he felt for Carver. "So when she's in this state after being ring possessed, do you think I want to leave her alone with him? Someone who I barely knew except for this sense that he'd probably save himself rather than protect her." Annoyance fills his tone, "Which is why, I have no freakin' idea why she thinks she can trust him. If he's only out for himself. Do you know how upsetting, how frustrating it is to try and help, protect someone that you know needs it, but they think they know better?"

He just blinks at her, "/You/ know what I went through. When my ribcage was suddenly shattered. Lilith wouldn't leave my side until you came home to take up the mantle in watching over me. Then it happened again... in a dream. The night that Alexander brought me here after we visited Erin Addington in the hospital after her great Uncle, or whoever the hell Thomas Addington is to her, tried to butcher her thanks to Gohl. I had the cops and the ambulance all over this place and then what happens shortly after? I get pulled into a dream that I nearly died in. And there were more. One was Marshalls... one was Lilith's." He'll come out to say. "Then she got pulled into another where these... things demanded that she heal them, because every single person who she healed, I think... that harmed them in some way." His tone returns back to normal after quieting somewhat, "Then the infestation of the building, where once more, I had to field questions about a missing delivery boy who disappeared in our elevator. Those dangers. It's not like I /didn't/ tell you about any of them. It's the world that I.. that we live in right now."

So what do you want, Byron?

He can't help but shake his head now, this annoyed smile pulling at his lips, brows lifted, "What do I want? After all that's been said?" His gaze finally looks out to Vivian, the smile fading as he draws in a deep breath through the nose. "I want you to be happy, but I don't see that happening with me. There's just some things from my past that I can't let go of."

"I stayed here, because I thought it was forever. I thought that we were forever, Byron." Vivian flicks a hand towards the box she'd handed him earlier, "I was waiting until everything was over, but now it is over." She doesn't mean just the Gohl situation, or the imps, or anything else. "I would have tried, Byron. I'd have tried to make this work, to fix everything, if you'd just have said you wanted to. I'd have given everything up for you again."

There is a very faint shake of her head, disappointment in her face, "I'd have left if you'd told me there was someone else, too. If you'd just told me so we didn't get here." She steps away from the island again, this time moving towards the bedroom at a slower speed, less angry and just more resigned, "I'll pack, if I forget anything just put it in a box and give it to Vyv, Alexander or Isabella to return."

Byron is a difficult man to gain sympathy from or even to be told that anything was his fault, despite his ability to apologize from time to time over things that he has no control over. But here was a woman who he'd been with since... well, early on in his university years for the most part. She followed him all the way to Gray Harbor of all places and wanted to start a life for him here. He knows he should have dissuaded her early on, but in truth, it really was nice seeing her again.

"There wasn't anyone else." He states in a more neutral tone, "Not at that time that you came. Not for a while since you were here. She was just Lilith, a ghost from my past. That's why, at the time, there wasn't much to really say, much to everyone's frustration, I suppose." Licking at his lips, he follows her to the bedroom, but lingers just outside, giving her some semblance of space, "I'm sorry, Vivian. I really am. I didn't even know how this was all going to turn out, but if I knew ahead of time... I would've done things differently. I would've opened up more, but for a long time, I didn't think that I needed to." He'll then step back, making his way back to the island to finish up the remainder of his coffee. "If you need anything-- I'll always still be there for you, Viv."

If he expected some kind of response, he's mistaken. There's silence while she moves around the bedroom, packing everything up that she came with, fitting everything back into the few bags she showed up with, then she exits the bedroom and moves towards the front door to set her suitcases next to it. Her purse gets picked up, and her keys fished out before she moves to the kitchen, "Good bye, Byron. I hope that things work out for you, I really do." Then she turns to head towards the door, grabbing her suitcases to let herself out without another word.