2019-12-15 - Getting to know Lalo

Maggi had put an advertisement in the Gazette for clients, and Lalo had responded. So, on Sunday afternoon, they had arranged to meet in Addington Park. It's admittedly not somewhere very private to discuss things of a potentially sensitive or private nature, but at least people aren't likely to be just sitting within earshot the whole time. That may be why Lalo had picked it -- or perhaps he just wasn't planning on divulging anything that he cared about other people hearing. In any case, he's there, sitting on a bench near-ish the carousel where he had said he would be to wait.

Maggi approaches in a timely manner. Despite her generally nonchalant attitude, she tried to always be professional when it mattered. The weather has allowed for a plum colored tank top shaped blouse to be worn with dark washed unripped jeans and black heeled ankle boots. She waves as she approaches the aforementioned meeting place, shrugging off a canvas messenger bag and extending a hand. "Lalo right? I'm Maggi, it's nice to get to talk to you in person." Usually messy golden tendrils of hair seem to have been smoothed for the occasion.

Lalo looks up, and he smiles, standing up and taking the offered hand. "Hey, Maggi," he says. "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you. Thanks for meeting me here." He may have just gotten off work -- or perhaps he will be going to work soon -- since under his jacket that's open he's wearing scrubs with a stormtrooper's helmet printed on the top. "How's it going?" he asks as he sits back down, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees and lacing his fingers together. "I don't know how this usually works," he admits after a second with a little laugh.

Maggi gives a half smile, sitting a respectful distance away, but not an uncomfortable amount. Reaching into her bag she takes out a clipboard and iphone, opening the recording app, but not yet starting it. "As much as I appreciate the help towards my degree, this time is primarily about you. The only person who will have access to our conversation is a licensed adviser, so at any time if you would prefer for something not to be shared you just let me know. You e-mailed he HIPPA compliance I believe." A pen is flourished out as well, uncapped. "You know a little about me from the add, so why don't you let me know more detail concerning you."

"Yeah, I sent it," Lalo confirms, glancing down at the phone, though he doesn't seem too bothered by it. Well, after all, if he had been he probably wouldn't have responded to the ad. "Okay," he continues, "I'll let you know. I'm not that interesting so I don't think there's gonna be much stuff I need to keep off it." He grins at this, before it fades a little bit, though not completely. "Well," he says after a moment's thought, "I'm a nurse. Just got a job at Addington Memorial a month or so ago. From LA originally. Um..." He reaches up to rub a hand back over his head as he considers. "I have a brother here, too."

Maggi jots down a few bits of information on her lined paper, tapping the button on her phone to record. She hated the formality of that bit, but it was better than having someone sitting in as a third party, watching. She had fought that option pretty hard until the university had offered alternatives. Icy eyes look up to make contact as she speaks. "How do you find the transition so far? Did your brother move with you?" Maggi had seen how demanding the hospital could be in her interaction with Abby. The medical field could be quite unforgiving in it's hours. She did not address the 'not interesting portion', that being more dependent on a persons comfort than content.

"It was okay," Lalo replies. "People are pretty welcoming here so far. I like my co-workers. A little hectic over there than I expected for a small town, but it's not the busiest place I ever worked. You all got something in the water here, though." A little huff of amusement escapes him at this, though it's a bit dry. He shifts on the bench, leaning back instead now as his eyes follow a woman and a kid as they pass by on the way to the carousel. "Yeah," he continues after a moment, "he moved with me. Been kind of taking care of him for a while."

Maggi seems to have an uncanny knack for focus, despite the environment. She was hopeful this trait did not come across as 'too intense', it could on occasion. Lalo's remarks on Gray Harbor garner another small smile. "That we do," she states factually. Water was a possible source of it, if an under researched possibility. "Do you find time to do things for yourself?" The tone does not carry any judgement. "You seem to spend a great deal of your time on others." Some people found joy in the ability to help others, entirely normal, though it did seem the man had much on his plate.

Lalo doesn't seem to mind the intensity -- maybe he expected it in this interaction, though he does not seem to have had much experience with this before. He reaches back to rest an elbow on the back of the bench, looking over at her again. "Sometimes," he says after a moment. "Trying to get out there and meet people, do other things, you know? I'm seeing someone, she's cool. A little young for me," he admits after a moment with another laugh, though this one seems more directed at himself than outward, and it's a little wry. "I feel a little like the creepy old guy people side-eye."

Maggi pens a few more lines at his response, before placing the writing utensil behind her ear and watching him. "What makes you say that?" Maggi is genuinely curious if this has more to do with whomever he is seeing, or his assessment of the situation. Perhaps even the way his chosen partner acted? Each response presented it's own unique set of challenges. She crosses her legs and allows herself to enjoy the days warmth, even if it was likely a symptom that the planet was suffocating. It was supposed to be December after all.

Lalo shrugs, his gaze moving back to the carousel, though his expression is rather absent, unlike her own more focused one. "Eh, I don't know," he replies. "I mean, I'm forty-one. She's, like, twenty-five. But I guess when you think about it she's probably got more adult shit in her life than me, so maybe it's fine." Another laugh escapes him, before he continues, "I'm probably overthinking it. We're not that serious right now."

Maggi nods, but decides that she is going to push Lalo just a little here, partially in curiosity. "Does the relationship seem pretty positive? Would you describe it as healthy?" There was a small point the thin woman was pondering here, though she also did not want to make assumptions. Overall so far Lalo did seem to judge himself quite a bit for a person who seemed to overall be doing his best.

"Oh, yeah," Lalo replies, and while he doesn't say it too fast as though he's trying to convince her of it, he also doesn't pause. It's more an immediate response that does sound like he's just telling the truth. "She's great. We're having a good time. Guess it's just been a while since I was in a relationship, you know? Like you said, I'm busy at work, I don't have a lot of time for that. Plus we've moved around a bunch, so we haven't been settled in one place for a while." 'We,' presumably, means him and his brother, not him and his girlfriend. Pronouns.

On a personal rather than professional level, Maggi finds him genuine, and enjoys the way Lalo explains things. Part of it reminds her of Leon's way of conversation. Every person had their own kind of tidal pull to speaking. "Are you more concerned about the idea of age then, or that you may not be able to give as much as you would like to a relationship given your current responsibilities?" Whoever he was in a relationship with, the buried inner romantic at Maggi's core would certainly ship it. She brushes a stray blonde hair from her vision.

There's another shrug, and Lalo stretches his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles in a relaxed posture. "I guess kind of both," he admits after a second, looking back over at her again. "I mean, I told her I wasn't gonna jump into anything serious right away. I don't know how things are gonna go with Matias. My brother," he clarifies. "And I know I don't want to get married, I don't want to have kids. I like 'em fine, but it's just not for me, you know? I guess I just don't know if we're in the same place in our lives. If it's fair for me to waste her time, if that's what she wants." Another wry smile crosses his face as he reaches up to tap his temple, "See? Thinking too much about it."

Maggi shakes her head a little at the notion. "Thoughts are thoughts," she states nonchalantly. "We are programmed to make judgments for survival, though with modern convinces, there can be less use in that." Maggi raises two pointer fingers touching them end to end. "It's kind of like a Chinese finger trap, the more you fight thoughts, the more your brain doesn't always want to let them go." She mimes an attempt to pull them away from one another. "If you stop trying to get rid of them or assigning good or bad, in some cases it can be easier to let them go." The fingers separate and her hands fall to her lap. "It's just one way to think about things, you get to decide then what is important to hold on to." Pausing for a moment she looks towards him. "Have you tried asking her what she wants? Not necessarily in detail, but for right now?"

Lalo sits back to listen, tipping his head as he regards her without interruption. His expression shifts thoughtfully, though without the easy smile that seems to generally be on his face, he looks a little bit angry. It's probably just how his face looks, though, since the mention of the finger trap draws a little huff of amusement from him. He doesn't speak until she's through, though, and even when she is he takes a moment to process everything she's said. "Kind of," he says slowly after another moment's thought. "Well, not really asked. We sort of talked about it on our first date, but that's it. I probably should do that, huh?" There's another little laugh that escapes him. Of course, that's why he's doing this, right? To talk through all this?

Maggi gives a genuine smile to him, her head tilting in interest. "If you want to. Without focusing directly on the other factors per say, what is important for what you want? Is openess or clarity something you want?" The little bit of an irritated look does not seem to phase her, especially given her recent experiences at the bar. Rather quickly she had learned drunk Henry was just going to be rude to everyone. Lalo's words were also not aggressive, whereas Henry cursed those around him constantly. Her mind returns to the topic at hand, values being one of the things that varied most among people.

Lalo nods at her question, replying, "Yeah. It's something I want. I mean, at this point in my life I know what I want, right? So I should probably assume that she does, too, and I won't know if I don't ask." His smile widens a little bit as he reaches up again to run a hand back over his head absently. "Too old to beat around the bush. Guess there's some advantages to it."

"You can certainly see!" Maggi was hopeful over the concept. There were occasions where people did not always feel the need to define what they wanted either, they were just happiest taking it a bit at a time. "You are you, that's the only way you have to justify it." Taking out the pen again she hits him with another question, shifting on the bench. "How long have you and your brother lived together? What does that look like on the day to day?"

Lalo nods, letting out a little breath as he considers what's been said so far, his eyes focused somewhere in the middle distance as his mind is on other things besides what he's actually seeing. When she asks him this, though, he looks back to her again. "He actually spends a lot of time in the hospital," he continues after a moment. "That's where he's at right now. He's got childhood onset schizophrenia, and we've never been able to find meds that work consistently. He's with me when he's well enough, though. It's been since he was 18, so...fifteen years?" He pauses, doing the math, before he nods. "Yeah."

Maggi gives a curt nod of processing rather than an opinion. "Do you feel he does better with you?" She writes a few notes about the newly given information, keeping her face impassive. Lalo may be better trained than most in how to handle certain issues, but that did not likely diminish the struggle some days with challenging family. The magnetic pull the man gave off gave her an inkling of why it may be difficult to find consistent treatment. Then again, neither her mother or father glimmered so there was no guarantee...

Lalo takes a moment to think about the question, but he eventually nods again. "He does," he says. "He's had it rough. Our parents kind of gave up on him. I'm the only one he has. I can't just let him be by himself in the hospital and shit. It's not his fault. And I know what happens if he's by himself when he gets out. So." He shrugs, "It's not bad. I don't mind it. You know? He's my brother."

Maggi gives another short nod. She did not envy the tan man's situation, nor his brothers. "What is the impact you would say this has on your life?" He was talking to her, so she really hoped he could answer this without feeling selfish. While it wasn't his brothers fault that his situation was what it was, it was also certainly not Lalo's.

That is certainly a question. Lalo lets out a little huff, somewhat similar to a laugh, though it couldn't precisely be called amused. More resigned. "I mean, it hasn't helped my social life," he remarks, and while it sounds like he's joking, he's obviously not totally joking. He grows more serious when he goes on. "I don't really get that close to other people. I haven't had a serious relationship in years. I know I put him ahead of me."

A smile returns at his joking manner, hoping to allow for his social direction to ease the more strenuous topic. "What concerns do you have for changing that, if you desire to? Are you worried your brother will not receive the same level of care?" Maggi notates the description he gives of his current situation under her notes.

"Guess I don't really want to change it," Lalo admits after a moment. "But yeah, I know he won't get the same level of care. I'm not saying I'm the best, but I've been in the medical field a long time. I know people do their best, and I know a ton of amazing doctors and nurses. But I know how burnout is, too. I know how to advocate for him 'cause he wouldn't really for himself. If he didn't have anyone doing that, he'd fall through the cracks. I still think he can get better."

Very subtly Maggi bites the inside of her lower lip, almost not wanting to ask her own question, but still desiring to know the answer. "Do you think the idea of burnout could impact your own life? Do you think that a lack of change will yield differing results" She was trying to challenge him, he seemed quite ready for whatever she had thrown at him thus far. It was less that Maggi felt she had all the answers and more her belief that the answers people needed existed within the person. He was more than capable of determining all of this for himself.

It's another good question, and it gets a laugh from Lalo -- not because it's amusing, but because it's certainly apt, considering what he's just said. "Huh." He doesn't answer immediately, but it probably isn't because he hasn't thought about it before. Of course, who knows? "Maybe one day," he eventually concedes. "It could happen, yeah. Hope it doesn't, but it could. I been doing this a long time and I'm still good, but you never know. I hope I can recognize it if it happens, you know?"

Maggi was very familiar with the concept of burnout in her field, even if she stood a fair bit farther back in experience. Usually having better hours than hospitals, mental health could still take a toll. She had switched advisers for this reason, finding her original one rather apathetic. "When you think about what you are doing for yourself at current, do you think that there are things you could do to maybe extend that? Examples don't have to be hugely life altering. More I suppose things you are doing or could do more to recharge your own batteries a bit?"

Lalo takes a minute here to consider -- really consider. "I'm thinking about getting a dog," he says after a moment. "I know that's still taking care of something, but I think it might be different. You know? I like to run, and it'd be nice to have some company, even if it's not human company."

He starts to say something else, but just then, his phone buzzes in his pocket, and he takes it out, clicking it off. "I should get to work," he admits as he looks back at her. "Thanks for this, though. It was...really nice." He says it almost as though he's surprised, though he probably doesn't mean that in an insulting way. One assumes!

Maggi stops recording and closes her notebook, reaching out to shake his hand again. "Thank you so much for letting me get to know you some!" She seems genuinely pleased and unoffended. "Let me know if you want to talk again sometime!" She hoped he would want to given how genuine he seemed.

Lalo stands up, and he reaches out to offer his hand for her to shake again. "Sure," he says. "Maybe I will. Kind of nice to talk to someone about shit, you know? Like, an outside person." He pulls his coat a little bit closer to him then, adding, "I hope you get lots of people answering your ad so you can get all your hours done. I'll recommend you." He grins, "Take care."