2020-01-21 - Friendship Means Sometimes Having To Tell The Other To Eat The God Damn Tater Tots

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :So. When are you coming back to close out my bar?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Soon. We have a few things to settle. How's everything going with you?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Agreed. And good. Bennie and I are back on.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : ...okay, so change that from 'soon' to 'sooner than what soon actually means.' You know, I was wondering when I saw you guys together at Alexander's birthday party. Did you guys decide before or after?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :We got talking over Christmas, but didn't decide anything until just a few nights ago.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :But heads up, no booze for me at the bar. i'm saying that now so I don't conveniently forget to later.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Wow, that's great, E. I'm really happy for you, but also kind of confused but I'll tell you why I'm confused the next time I see you. And okay. Got it. So all the scotch you're supposed to be drinking, I will drink for you.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : If that doesn't mean friendship I don't know what does.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Yes. I will pretend to like watching you drink the scotch.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :You are not the only confused one also. I'll tell you why next time ::grin emoji::

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : All the scotch. But I'm glad you guys talked. I really am. She was miserable without you and you were miserable without her, and honestly I'm done with people I like being miserable.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Oh boy. Well I hope you're still up to kicking out your customers by last call with your usual style and panache.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I'm grouchy sober, so they better haul ass.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Thanks for the warning. I'll bring my pith helmet just in case. I'm no ex-marine, so I'm going to have to work with what I'm given if I have to dive into a trench.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I promise not to take it out on you.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :too much

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : It's going to take more than that to scare me, Marine. I mean, we survived Joey Kelly in a Marilyn Monroe dress.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Frankly I expected better legs on Kelly

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I don't know, I'm still kind of mad about it. He looks a lot better in that dress than I ever would in a million years. I did bid on his lap dance for the charity auction, though. It was going to be his audition for the cake jumping.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Bitch please. You would have had all the men and most of the women panting in that dress. Kelly might have the confidence to rock it, but don't try and pretend you wouldn't be damn knock out

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Did you just 'bitch please' me?!

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : ::laugh emoji:: Ah, fuck. I missed you.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :You saying Joe Kelly in a dress could ever come for you. Hell yes I did.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : We should stop talking about me in a Marilyn Monroe dress and start discussing you in a Marilyn Monroe dress, because by the way you're talking about Joey Kelly's legs, I get the suspicion that you have Opinions about the matter.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : And yes. Opinions. Capital O.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Pretty sure the whole town is well aware that I do have capital O opinions on boys now.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : You do?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Are you shitting me right now?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : N...o....? Why would I be?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :🤬

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I don't know what that means.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I slept with a dude. That's why Bennie and I broke up. It's more complicated than that, but that's the gist.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : ...omg

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :And between bennie's girls night out and fucking rozencratz throwing a queer night in my bar I was pretty sure that was common knowledge

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : All I heard in Bennie's Girl's Night was that the two of you broke up and that Javier had something to do with it, Grace took me to the dance floor before I could hear all of it and when I came back, I didn't want to just...you know. Stick my nose in! And uh...I haven't been to TIBS in a few weeks. I had a hole in my foot, and I was deaf for a while.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : And I don't mean like, I Spent The Weekend In Coachella Deaf. I mean, I needed to go to a hospital and see a specialist deaf.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :What? How did I miss this?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Because you were doing what you should be doing, and that's getting your house in order.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I'll fill you in when I see you next, but only after we talk and catch up. ::smiley face::

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Deal.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Hey. Guess what.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :What?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Wait, no. Let me guess. You and Alexander are getting married and having triplets?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I'm really happy for you. Really, really. Now delete your text message history immediately before you out me as a marshma-

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : What????

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :What? I guessed.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Is that...oh my god. Is that a rumor? IS THIS A BAR RUMOR? Who started it? He or she clearly needs to be destroyed!

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :It's not a bar rumor YET

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Why am I deleting text history?

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Because I have some photos in there that need to be saved.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Oh god, we just got you back, E. Don't make me kill you! What do you mean YET!

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Hmm? Ok fine, no rumors. What am I outing you as? And who told you about the marshmallow incident?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I-- okay now you have to tell me about the marshmallow incident.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : And if this is a sex thing you definitely need to tell me.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I lost a bet to Geoff's gf and ended up with marshmallow in my hair, ear and crotch. She's almost as handsy as Bennie turns out. Good thing Turner and I are married so it doesn't count as infidelity. Or something.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : You already know what I'm going to say to that.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : 'Pics or it didn't happen.'

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :::photo of Easton's stomach with a smear of marshmallow on it:: ::pic of Easton's face and hair with marshmallow on/in it:: No third photo for you. Don't need Bennie or Alexander mad at me right yet

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Oh. Jesus. You know when you said that, I thought the marshmallow stuff was on your CLOTHED body, not..

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I'm even trying to be good and not pointing out how super incriminating all that looks (but I am).

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I sometimes forget you're not a marine and I mean that as the highest of compliments hot scotch

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I thought that went without saying

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : ::laugh emoji:: For what it's worth? You can definitely make waffles on those.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I would eat marshmallow topped waffles.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I'd say the same, but too much sugar and I have to wear a wetsuit regularly for a living. Do you know how unforgiving neoprene is? I don't think I even remember what a potato tastes like.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I'm ordering loaded tater tots from the kitchen next time. I swore of drinking at the bar, not junk food.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Jesus christ. I thought we were friends. FRIENDSHIP, E.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Then again I am drinking your scotch.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : You win this round, good sir.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Friendship is kicking your ass in the gym the next day. Eat the damn tots Iz

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : You are everything bad for me and that is why I need you in my life.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I know. Which is why we are still having mother fucking words about which parent you chose in the divorce.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Words. Reede.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Words.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Fine. I'll have some of your god damn tater tots. And when Joey Kelly asks me what I'm doing trying to punch a sandbag properly at his place the next day, I'm blaming you.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :That sounds like a plan.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Also listen. If it were my party you would have totally been invited, but it was Alexander's and she sleeps in his bathtub and one time she came out in next to nothing and walked in on us in the living room before Things happened and that's another story I have to tell you while I'm lubricated with scotch, I figured she was the closer parent to the celebrant!!

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :I know. I'm glad you invited her.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I am too. And I'm glad she invited you. I think Alexander was glad to see the both of you together at his shindig even if you did call him an asshat.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :Those are my words. I'm glad she had you and Alexander.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Well, you had us too, you know? You were just gone for the holidays.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :He was an asshat. And I know. I appreciate the hell out of you two.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :He also wasn't wrong. If I had known I would have tried to wave you off.

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : Yeah, some part of me knew that, too. Why the hell is every person I like difficult? You're all difficult. All of you. I'd say you should all be ashamed but since I have no shame, I can honestly never really expect it from any of you, so game on I GUESS.

(TXT to Isabella) Easton :And you're not difficult?

(TXT to Easton) Isabella : I am. And this is why we're friends.