2020-02-16 - Gnome is Where the Heart Is

August is outfitted for hiking--heavy hiking boots, denim jeans, snow jacket, work gloves, and a light hiking pack with various odds and ends he, Anne, Yule, and Isabella came up with: lighter and torch adapter, rope, climbing chalk, water proof matches, lint, foil, collapsible hiking staff, Leatherman. He's got his grease pencil, small, field journal, and some mapping materials as well. No handgun just yet; he's still dithering over what to buy.

He lured Niall into joining them with promises of interesting plants and forestry Over There. But also suggested he take precautions, like bringing a few useful things. "A grafting experiment," he says, like that's totally normal when it comes to psychic powers. "But it's over there, so if you're comfortable with a handgun, maybe bring it." He's doubled up, though, on the off chance neither Niall or Enzo brought things. The pack's relatively light, compared to what Niall or August would be used to--about 8 pounds.

Since things went exceptionally well for Enzo the last time he went in, that means he was more than happy go back in for another wacky adventure of some sort. Enzo doesn't know anything about grafting trees or plants or anything at all to be honest. But he's come along, dressed in reasonable clothes and wearing backpack. What's inside of it remains a complete mystery. He definitely doesn't have a gun, that's for sure. He looks around at both of the man and seems content to get going whenever they're ready.

Niall is an experienced backwoodsman. That means he's fairly used to carrying the elements of survival on his back - and the overall quality of his gear is professional. He's wearing slim-fit ripstop waterproof cargo pants over merino wool base layers, a waterproof and lined jacket, a merino wool beanie and a scarf looped around his neck. He's got a 40 litre backpack strapped to his back, though it's not completely loaded. Portable camp stove, laminated backwoods map, everything to start a fire in bad weather, a flare, freeze-dried food and various other odds and sods that would keep them alive if they got stuck somewhere unpleasant. He doesn't have a firearm, but he does have a stun gun and bear spray - and a hunting knife strapped to his belt.

He looks at-home and at-easy in the gear, if not with the situation. "This is the most well-supplied I've ever been for a botany trip, I have to say. What are you expecting to find?" The Kiwi takes a pull from his stainless steel water bottle before sliding it back into the easily accessible drink pocket.

"If only I had any idea," August says to Niall. "Hence the gear. We went to check out a carousel, and wound up attacked by dolls." He shrugs. "So. Safety first."

He pulls out the map he made when Itzhak brought him over the first time. He gives the sawmill a surreptitious glance, then says to Enzo, "We crossed here." He reaches out to pat a Sitka spruce that bears a chalk mark: a rough drawing that looks like it might suggest a deer. "And the tree we're looking for is a little further in from that. Assuming the place doesn't shift where you come out on the regular," another wary glance at the sawmill, "we should be fairly close crossing here again." He gestures at Enzo. "All you."

"I really don't want to be hospitalized by dolls again," Enzo says and looks over the tree with the chalky mark. He started smoking at some point but puts that out once it looks like it's time to start stepping over into the other side. There's a glance offered to the sawmill and he chews his lip before focusing on the task at hand. Which is opening a door. The door. One of the doors. Lets do this.

"Lead the way, gents. This exploration is all new to me." Niall motions to the shimmer. His jaw tightens. Fear? Awe? A bit of both. This kind of thing never feels entirely normal - not to someone who didn't grow up here.

"Cool," Enzo says when the door opens up. He brushes his hands off on his jacke and steps through the door so that he can get totally nauseous and probably land on his ass on the other side.

August watches the opening form, shakes his head. "Never not going to be awesome." He nods at Niall, gives Enzo what he hopes is an encouraging look, then he heads on in. He braces himself for the sickening feeling of crossing and whatever might be on the other side, keeping foremost in his mind where in his bag the walking staff and ice axe are positioned.

Niall digs into his pocket and removes an LED headlamp that he fumbles with as he deals with waves of nausea. "You know...something making you sick is usually Mother Nature's way of telling you to stay away. But we had to go and be contrary apes." He fumbles with the light, turning it to the medium setting. Not so bright that he can only see what's illuminated by the beam. He eyes the tree with its mark. "Not bloody sinister at all, that."

Enzo steps through to the other side and puts his hands on his knees, squeezing them tightly as he gets over the feeling of wanting to hurl up his lunch. He adjusts his jacket very precisely and then straightens up, looking around the reflection of Gray Harper. His eyes land on the endlessly tall trees and wonders, "They should really get a landscaper in this place. It would do wonders." He looks over to August to see where they're going to go- he does not lick the bloody arrows. "Why are we doing this again?"

August spends a second wavering in place, waiting for the nausea to pass. He's getting better with this. Marginally. He pulls out his LED flashlight to find the first chalk mark...and eyes the, ah, 'addition'. "Yeah that looks, ah, real inviting," he says, making a face. He leans in close to eye the ooze, careful not to touch it. "We're trying to sort out what effects on the biology of our world being in the Veil has. And what effects our biology has on it. Easiest way to do that, is with plants. They're...usually non-motile, they're easily propogated, and we have thousands of methods for working with them thanks to a few millenia of using them to survive." He straightens. "Let's go check on the grafting first, we'll...think about following this after we've done that."

"I suppose the biggest problem with setting up trail markers and an experiment is that it tells whatever is out there that you planned on coming back. Which is, em, a good opportunity to trap someone." Niall eyes the shifting trees and takes a deep breath to calm his stomach. He doesn't realize he's doing it, but his hand grips white-knuckled around the hilt of his hunting knife.

"I definitely vote we don't follow the suspicious arrows," Enzo suggests. The path seems to only allow them to go in their chosen direction on it, so that's that for him. He's not really a science guy, but he'll listen along to August's theory on plants and the veil and hm. "That's interesting." This place is fairly terrifying, but the tag-along Addington doesn't seem terribly worried, not yet anyway. There's plenty of time to get beat up by something!

August makes a low sound of agreement with Niall. He looks around at the other trees, but there's no sign of the next chalk mark. He eyes the path and it's ominous, red marker. "Okay. I guess...this is the way we go." He looks askance at Enzo. "Just be ready to get us the hell out of here if something shows up," he says, voice low. Not that he thinks Enzo isn't planning on doing that already, but he feels he should put down a vote for 'leave if we gotta'.

"Danger Botany." Niall clucks his tongue. "Should be a new subdiscipline. I...augh.." his headlamp suddenly blasts to full power, shorting out his night vision. He reaches up to fiddle with it. "Stupid battery housing." Blink. Blink. "One of you will have to lead the way. I can't see a damned thing."

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm all for team get the fuck out if something tries to paint me with red arrows." That's oddly specific. But he's probably just a weird eccentric rich person, pay him no mind. "Hey, August? All these trees have fucking chalk marks. You weren't drunk or anything when you did this right? Because I'm going to take this as a Bad Sign."

August flinches when Niall's headlamp goes on the fritz, holds out a hand for him to take. "No worries. We're right here." He's also not afraid to hold hands with someone on a dark and spooky trail.

He begins to notice the chalk marks, and is briefly heartened. Until Enzo points out that they're, well, all over. Then he comes to a halt. "Wonderful." He pulls out the map he made, checks for anything he'd noted; odd looking plants, particularly shaped trees.

Niall knows that one of the most important things about navigating in the dark is to not blot out your night vision. That's why he tried very carefully not to do it, but the headlamp had other ideas. He stumbles, catches his foot on a root, nearly goes off the path (but veers when he spots the skeleton branches, then otherwise sticks close to the two who can actually see where the hell they're going. "Maybe this should have started as a cartography experiment. With the thesis question: can you actually mark your way in the Veil?"

"Um," Enzo looks up at the trees, almost like he's annoyed with them. "This is pretty rude. If they had a landscaper, stuff like this wouldn't happen." That's not really the role of a landscaper, but Enzo probably has no idea what a landscaper does beyond shape bushes into cool shapes and cut the grass. Enzo pauses briefly to stare his annoyance down at the tree behind them, he FROWNS. Then he turns back around and follows August forward down the path... Except.. Exceeeept- The thing! He'll follow the leader.

"Everyone..." Niall sweeps a look up the tree, around at their surroundings, at the ooze. "...have we considered. Just hear me out. Have we considered we're actually in The Blair Witch Project? Keep a sharp eye out for stick men and bundles with teeth and hair."

"Shit. I should've guessed this place isn't as slow to change as forests back in the real are," August says under his breath. He glances down at the map, turns around--and oh, aheh. That's in the way. Like, all the way in the way.

"Okay. One second." He pulls a cleaned out spice jar and a q-tip out of his hiking bag and approaches the tree, wary. He's been punted by trees before. "Just want a sample, big guy, that's all. Not gonna give you any trouble." He reaches out with the q-tip to swab a modest amount into the spice jar.

Enzo's annnoyance sobers when Niall suggests this is the Blair Witch Project. "Oh, fuck that. I was terrified of that movie. I went with Hyacinth and our dad when we were kids and I hid my face during the whole thing." He watches as August starts taking test swaps of the oozing goop, he grimaces.

"We find ourself in an extremely flammable, snowy forest. Which makes no sense, but what...oh, shit." Niall tries to kick snow onto the fire. "Apparently physics don't listen anymore than maps do." He sweeps a look around, then back to August. "This is your expedition, but even if we find your tree, I'd say you've lost all possibility of a controlled experiment." Then he sidelong looks at Enzo. "Don't worry. There probably aren't witches."

August is saved by his nocicpetive flexion reflex, that ancient bit of human technology which says some things do not require brain intervention to be dealt with. For example, when a fire springs to life right there at your fingertips, you move the fuck back. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, just drop that fucking Q-Tip. His fingertips are singed, but nothing he can't handle at home. "Yeah, that's for sur--shit." Fire, on the ground. "Fuck." August lunges forward, stamping at it, trying to smother it thoroughly. He calls over his shoulder to Niall, "Canteen."

Enzo sidelongs back at Niall and then down at the fire. He'll try to stomp on it too if any fire makes its way to over to him. He uses his foot. He doesn't want to die, you guys but he also doesn't dive on it or anything.

"DAMNIT NOT AGAIN," Enzo has a chunk taken out of him by the gnome and promptly disappears off the path, fighting the gnome away into the darkness.

"No witches, but there's whatever the fuck that is," says Niall in a surprisingly deadpan manner. But then he's pulling his hunting knife out and crouching low. He's too busy scanning the branches to notice that Enzo has been dragged away. He only catches sight of him being dragged into the darkness. "Bad. That's...very not good."

August turns at the sound of the screaming, reaches out to haul the gnome off Enzo--except, Enzo barrels off into the trees. "Christ. Come on," he says, moving to follow whatever kind of path Enzo is breaking with a gnome clinging to his shoulders.

Niall barrels into the grove behind August, skidding to a stop, blade still at the ready. He eyes his surroundings, and the shattered toadstool. "August. What...what is happening? Did you just destroy the home of that tiny bearded demon?"

August halts when that mushroom goes flying, because he does not the hell intend to inhale any spores, get high, and strip naked for a swim. Also, the grove is lovely, and it gets his attention off Enzo's panic for like, a half a second.

"Looks like," he says to Niall, and swallows. He stares down at the pair of eyes, raises his hands. "Apologies, we got turned around. A friend of ours is being attacked, and we're trying to help him." He glances at the mushroom, back at the red eyes. "I can try to fix it for you," he offers.

"Since when have you ever seen a mushroom repair itself? You can't un-cut a mushroom, mate," says Niall oh so helpfully to August. And then there's chaos. And screaming. And hungry hungry lawn gnomes. "Didn't you hear your friend? We taste bad. Real bad. No eat. But I do have some, uh..." He tugs off his backpack, digs around until he finds a packet of jerky. He tears it open and tosses a few of the strips onto the ground. Yeah. That'll work. Everyone likes nitrites and salt.

August winces about the baby. "I can try healing your baby too," he says, keeping his voice even. "We definitely don't want to hurt anyone. Probably don't taste good either." Taking a page from Niall's book, he pulls off his own pack and gets out a bag of trail mix: nuts, dried fruit, chocolate and peanut butter chips, and tosses it next to the jerky.

"I can fix things," he tells Niall under his breath. "Mend them." He eyes the mushroom house. Yeah, he can do that. Probably.

Oh, and there's one gnome really far in the back that eats one of the pieces of chocolate and falls over dead. GASP goes the gnomes nearby: "MORE POISON!"

"Get the fuck off of me!" Enzo howls as he tries to rip this gnome off of his face AGAIN.

"This is like an episode of Star Trek where first contact goes horribly wrong," says Niall as he looks over at the dead one who ate chocolate, then down at his shoe. Ew. Good thing they're built for trucking through the muck. "Shit. August. Trees. Do you think they ate the tree from our side? Do you have any grafts with you?" He scans around. "...but maybe that's what did this to them." Ah, the old, were they zombies before or did we make them zombies?

August tilts his head at the gnomes, surprised by their reaction to the food. "Woah! Okay, yeah, don't eat that." He watches Enzo struggle with his specific gnome problem, but Enzo seems...well, alive, and not seriously injured yet. He glances at Niall, then the trees around them. "Maybe," he says. God, he hopes not. He roots around in his pack, pulls out a second graft specimen: a chunk of Western hemlock. "Is this food?" he asks, offering it over.

It's probably not nice to try and punch something that's only like a foot tall, but Enzo's shoulder is bleeding really bad this SOB scratched his beautiful face up. He did not sign up for scars. He continues to battle the singular gnome by himself off to the side by himself. "Oh god, it's in my clothes." Punch, punch, punch, SMACK. Get-the-gnome-off-me-dance.

"Ah, oh, em...Shit. What would Picard do?" Niall watches the creature start to eat the tree, but then his attention is drawn upward to the ancient one. "Who...what?" He rocks on his feet, clears his throat, glances Enzo's way. "Could you em...could you stop that one from biting him? I know he looks delicious but he's apparently...not? And then we can talk about trees? We don't want anyone else to get hurt here."

August can't help but make a face as the shark-toothed gnome leans in to have a bite of hemlock, and hopefully not his arm.

He starts at the sound, eyes the old, old gnome looking down at them. He licks his lips. "Roen," he says, pointing at himself. Remembering what Astor called him, he adds, "Secretkeeper." He points at Enzo. "Can you ask him to stop attacking our friend?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Enzo asks once the gnome is off of him. He's bleeding a not insignificant amount from his shoulder, which is a problem, because he's right handed. Also he has less pubic hair and most importantly, VOMIT on his expensive shoes. He wipes his vomit-y shoes off on a destroyed gnome house.

"Are you all right, mate?" asks Niall as he sidles over towards Enzo. I mean, obviously he's not. There's a lot going on there, injury-wise. But hey, it's still polite to ask. He looks from the old gnome to August, then back. "Em. Fight the trees. What does that mean?"

August watches the situation with Enzo resolve in...not the worst way possible, but God, it was looking bad for the family inheritance. He relaxes. "Thank you," he says to the old gnome, and gives Enzo an apologetic look.

He glances at Niall, and echoes the question. "Fight them how? I don't think I...fight trees. I study them. Watch them. Learn about them."

Enzo steps on the asshole gnome's tiny little foot. "Go to hell, you small dicked monster." This is not how we make friends, Enzo. He's utterly distracted from this tree fighting situation. If it weren't for his conflict with the gnome, he'd probably peace out of the veil right now.

"Has there been mass-scale deforestation in the Veil, too? Do things echo like that between places?" Niall asks August after the comment from the old gnome. "Or...the red stuff in the trees. Some kind of blight? Can an ecosystem be disrupted in this place?" So. Many. Questions. He looks over at Enzo, then tugs out a small first aid kit. Before he moves over, he looks to the leader-gnome. "Can I help him?"

August scratches his beard, listening to the old gnome, his eyes on a nearby tree. "Yeah," he says of Niall's questions, agreeing with the underlying sentiment. "When did this change? Some time ago? Very recent?" He's not sure, in the timelessness of the Veil, that 'last week' versus 'the other day' will make a difference to them. To clarify, he adds, "We felt something change. Recent--a couple of days ago, by our time. We changed." That point made, he walks over to a tree to check it out, feel it with his Spirit sense. See if he can detect...well, anything. He knows what trees of the real feel like; maybe if his graft did this, he'll be able to sense that?

Enzo looks satisfied with his work here. He doesn't at all feel guilty about killing the eight inch tall gnome. He had it coming. When the Elder gnome denies him medical treatment, "Um, excuse me. Yes, he can give me first aid!" This is an incredibly bizarre situation and he's BLEEDING, ERJI!

"I. Am so incredibly confused. Do you have any idea what this could be?" Niall asks of August. He stops moving towards Enzo and shoots him an apologetic look. "Look, we don't want to make this an even worse em, international...interspecies...inter-dimensional...incident?" He looks down at the dead gnome, then an apologetic look to the head gnome. "OK. So. Em. Where is your home?"

August blinks. "Okay. I think I understand." He says to Niall, "It's either the graft, or that change we all felt," well, that he felt, anyways, "...or something else entirely." He closes up his pack and shoulders it. Nodding in agreement with Niall, he says to the head gnome, "Can you tell us--or show us--where you home is? If we can fix them--or find someone who can--we will." Sorry Niall and Enzo, you're being voluntold. Trees need help.

The gnomes are spitting on him. Enzo is in less pain so he certainly complains a lot less but he doesn't look any happier. He stares over at the gnomes when the one guy starts saying people are going to die. Or maybe he's more gnomes, he has no idea.

"So you...understand that it's one of...three different, really different things." Niall makes a fart sound with his cheeks. "I suppose that's something." And then, "There sure is a lot of different...spitting and vomiting going on. Not that I'm...judging." Ahem. "Yip. I'm up to helping." And not just because that's probably their only way out of here.

August is getting concerned about Enzo's injuries, and they're weighing on him, making him nauseated. But the elder gnome relents, and the other gnomes...spit him back to health. "Thank you," he says.

He glances at Enzo and Niall, and well, he can't disagree the three of them don't make for a strong group. "We'll need to go recruit others. Where should we meet your guide, and when?" Eyes falling on the damage again, he adds, "We're sorry, for..." he waves a hand, "the mess. Do you want us to try and fix it?"

Enzo pulls his foot back to kick the peeing gnome- but then stops because the Elder Gnome is kicking them out.

"I think we've got a quest, gents. From an an appropriately quest-y source," Niall gestures to King Gnome, then gives Enzo a sympathetic look for the various gnomely fluids about his person. Sure that'll be totally fine and won't make him turn into a human-zombie gnome hybrid or anything. He looks behind him to see if a trail has magically appeared.

"Understood," August says. "I'll get who I can." And in the mean, hope he hasn't created Audrey II somewhere out there in the forest. Over his shoulder, he says to Enzo, "Get a door open and get us out of here," his voice low.

Niall leans over towards August and murmurs, "You missed a real good chance for a 'beam me up' reference given all the Star Trek we've got going on. Well. I've got going on. But you have to admit, if it was your graft? Lots of analogies about bringing alien plant life in that fucks with the local fauna." But then there's a shimmery door and he's happy to step through it. Except now...they're in the deep, dark woods. And Enzo is pussy. "Welp."

When they turn up out in the woods, Enzo starts walking back down to town. This is unpleasant and not how he expected his night to go at all!

"I'm only willing to go so far with the fictional references for my everyday life." Ah yes, August's everyday life in which he performs mad science in the Other World. "But that's what I'm afraid of. On the other hand, now we'll know."

Once they're across, he says, "Let's get you to the hospital, Enzo. Thanks for taking us across. Sorry you, ah, went through all of that." He gets Enzo's shoulder bandaged and then they make their way back to August's car, flashlights and headlamps and maps out.