2020-02-21 - Don't Tell Patrick

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : On a scale of 1 to 10...

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Say that you had received received your missing grandfather's partial memory of a night

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : And now two of your cousins were going to go dicking around in the possible location of where said memory might have originated from

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Would you think it was a bad idea to go there? Asking for a friend.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I mean on a scale of 1 to 10, I would say that's probably up there on the level of 'one of the stupidest things your cousins have ever done'.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : But I suppose I can understand the desire to go there.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : And you are talking to the woman who went tromping around the cemetery a few days after everything happened so I might not have the best judgment 😕

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : That's what I thought.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Anyway, two of them are going and Patrick voluntold me to go. Do you want to come with us?

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Wait. Patrick volun what now?

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I'm going to try opening a door again but having a back up door opener in case things get weird would be A+.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Two of them want to go dicking around over there and he was like 'Okay Enzo you should go too'

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : That's my paraphrasing of this situation though I guess I could give you the WHOLE summary.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Okay. Hold up.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Patrick Addington, the man who refuses to use his powers because he thinks we're all being PUNISHED, told YOU to go open a door at the SAWMILL?

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Okay. So.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I think you should've started this entire conversation with 'are you sitting down right now' and then launched into Patrick's doppleganger being at this meeting. Was he drunk? Was he NOT drunk?

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Blah blah blah family drama. Dreams. Etc. WHERE IS THOMAS. They want to go to the Sawmill to look for signs of him, I guess, I dunno. He briefly and in very little details mentioned you'd had a bad trip recently. I said that you asked me if I had a hard time opening a door and I said no, it was really easy. So he suggested I go with them and see about knocking on some doors. Or something like that.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : he didn't seem drunk.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : That might've been the problem.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I mean, at one point he was sipping an empty fucking cup like no one would notice he was pretending that cup was empty.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I was a little worried he was having a stroke or something one point, NGL.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : He was perfectly healthy when he left my house.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Not that that means he couldn't stroke out later, but still.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Did you poison him?

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : What? NO.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I wouldn't blame you if you did.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : We can get you out of this relationship, I promise.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : There are hotlines.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : lol you're ridiculous

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : lol

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : ANYWAY yes. So are you coming with me??

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : we're not even in a 'relationship', I don't even know what you would call what we are.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I know this is like the second stupid thing I've asked you to do this week.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : yes of course I will go with you, especially if Patrick VOLUNTOLD you to.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Uh huh

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : lol

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Excellent.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : He can't yell at me for going if he told YOU to go.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Side note, I've decided you're going to be an excellent gnome baby daddy

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : And I'm already trying to figure out what I'm getting your gnome halfbreed kids for Christmas.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : You should wait until they're all successfully born.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Maybe get them gift cards to the nearest Veil Target.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I still can't get over this whole, Patrick TOLD you to go. Maybe he really IS having a stroke.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I'll go through the stroke symptom list when he comes over tonight.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I offered to call an ambulance but he told me no.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Excellent.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Take pictures of his face when he gets angry at me for asking you to come with me.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I'm pretty sure there's a way to rapidly take a series of pictures, do that one.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I'll just take a video.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I don't want to hear his voice.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Or that thing he does where he breathes in right before getting annoyed.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I like it when he does that thing where he breathes in right before he gets annoyed. It's like a built in warning signal.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I'm sure there's a vast many things about Patrick that you like that don't interest me.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I don't know if it's a vast many, but there's certainly one or two.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Lalalalala I can't hear you

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : What?! I'm just talking like, how he's very pretty when he's finally asleep and not trying to start arguments anymore.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Or how I am 87.5% certain I saw him giving one of my dogs bacon the other morning.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Or his penis.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : :angel_emoji:

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : (screaming emoji)

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : so are we doing this before or after you fuck all the gnomes?

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I can't believe I'm saying this but

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : It's probably going to come down to scheduling.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Also I want to be less beat to shit.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : You do have quite a bit on yoru plate.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : They're making me do math this week too. 🙁

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Those terrible people!

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Something something Enzo we paid for that degree something something

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Don't tell Patrick you invited me, I need to figure out how to appropriately leverage him ASKING YOU.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Okay, okay.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : BTW Beth is going to come with us when we fight the Elder Gnome.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : is she your girlfriend yet?

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : No.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I can never make anything happen I'm always in the hospital.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Also pretty sure there's zero interest.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Well she's entitled to her wrong opinions

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : I mean. I don't even really know what her opinion is.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Just what I think.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Maybe she'll voice her opinion while you're in the middle of fornicating with the gnomes.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : That's a private matter.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Between me and my various gnome mistresses.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : What if they can only get pregnant in public orgies? Did you think of that?

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : This reminds me to steal Patrick's phone and google 'gnome sex' and see what ads start coming up for him.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Public doesn't mean humans have to be there beside ME.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Do it.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Oh I will.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : You're a fine friend.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : I try my hardest

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : Also I am your BEST friend. Not just your FINE friend.

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : lol

(TXT to Anne) Enzo : Yes, you are MY BESTEST FRIEND.

(TXT to Enzo) Anne : <3