2020-03-03 - It's Raining Men

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : hey! how's the thing going

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Hi Itzhak! Um, which thing?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : the doctor thing

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : you know. the ...hang on I gotta look it up

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : dissertation

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Oh! I'm...still waiting. I don't know if your sister ever tell you but after the entire ordeal, they make you sit in a room and wait while they deliberate. They're still deliberating and I'm just...sitting here, chomping at the bit.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Whoever came up with this process is a sadist.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : Oh yeah, she complained about it like a champ

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : you're gonna be fine

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : that's what I told her and it came true!

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : You're sweet to check in on me. ::smiley face emoji:: What about you? What's going on?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : de la Vega's better

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I'm glad he's okay. He...it can't have been easy. Are YOU okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : uh...I might be wearing a leg brace and getting around with a crutch, but I'm fine

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : WHAT?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : look it's fine

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he maybe bit through my hamstring a little but he didn't mean it

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Oh my god. Is he taking care of you at least?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : yeah, yeah he is. cooking for me and everything.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he's...I know he can be a real asshole, and a violent one too, but he's wonderful and just so goddamn beautiful. on the inside, you know? also on the outside, god damn. but anyway uhhh I'm not sure what my point is here.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I think the point was that you're in love and no matter how surly or dangerous Javier is, you don't care and it might even be part of his appeal? I can definitely relate. ::winky face::

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I'm glad that you're okay. You're not hurting too much?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : hah. yeah, think that's it. oh everything hurts real fucking bad, but whatever, also don't care.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : you talked to Alexander?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I....he asked me to meet him before I left. I'm glad for it because I didn't want to leave while...things were the way they were.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : the poor guy is messed the fuck up. he loves you like crazy.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : It was...I mean. He basically told me to beat him into hamburger with a baseball bat or stab him so he could be assured that I'd be able to put him down if I had to and I refused. I told him he was being nonsensical. After everything he's been through, I didn't want to encourage that kind of pattern, you know? That abuse is acceptable if it happens to him. I won't do it, Itz.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I...yeah. I love him more than anything too.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : We're both suckers, I think. ::laugh emoji:: So ridiculously attached to difficult men.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : ahhh christ. that musta been tough on you. good you didn't let him make you do it.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : I know, right? I'm a hell of a sucker going around with heart eyes for de la fucking Vega.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Ah, I made my choice. If I wanted to be safe, I wouldn't be doing what I do, not going to or staying in the places I am. And yes you are! But you know, I can understand it? He's pretty hot.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he's so hot. holy shit. no wonder he gets around, who can resist him?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : ::laugh emoji:: How did all of that start anyway? I was really late to that party - not surprising though, I'm quick on work, slow on social.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : might be a little hard to explain to a girl like you, to be honest. He came around and braced me, and then there was a lot of him being an asshole to me but in a sexy way. And something happened where... I showed him something over There. he kind of changed after that. still a sexy asshole, but...he gave me his beat up GHPD hoodie, he gave me a book, he came around to see me and acted like he cared about me as a person instead of just a hot piece of ass.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : of course that didn't stop us from getting into fistfights lol but they were SEXY fistfights

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I can see it. Sweat and adrenaline, plus the thrill of the fight? Sometimes that's all just precursor to sex. He doesn't look like the most approachable person in the world, but he's always been kind to me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve it, maybe because he and I are similar emotionally.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : yeah, actually you guys kinda are? I'd never think it on my own, but now that you mention it. kinda tempestuous.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he can be kind. he's lived a life that didn't let him be kind a lot, but he didn't lose it.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : And really bad at acknowledging our feelings, but he has better reasons for it than I do, I think. Between you and me, I'm really glad you two happened? I was really worried about him late last year.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he had a pretty rough time. hell he's still having a rough time. but yeah. I'm glad too. Glad as anything

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : oh man is he bad at feelings. I thought I was bad, he takes the prize.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I don't know. You remind me of Alexander as far as that goes. You're both very expressive, but I think for very different reasons.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : legit never heard anyone describe him as expressive before, keep going

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Alexander? He's very expressive. So are you! Javier, not so much but he doesn't need to. His bearing is expressive enough.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : I know I am, by default all musicians are expressive. de la Vega too, you ever heard him recite poetry? daaaaaamn. but keep talking about Alexander I wanna hear

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : He...

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I never knew him, while I was growing up here. But he had a reputation. I only started to get to know him when I got back to this town and a friend of mine introduced him to me because he was looking into something about my family. But somewhere along the line we drifted off into a tangent about history that became somewhat of a spirited discussion? But his entire face just...lit up. Life filled his eyes and he talked with his entire body, almost. His face, his hands.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Alexander would be the first to tell anyone that he doesn't find conversation easy, but I never had that problem with him, nor him, me

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Javier actually recited poetry the first time I ever met him ::laughing emoji::

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : oh my God, right? when Alexander starts talking about something he loves, even though he loves creepy shit, ugh my heart gets all stupid for him. ...full disclosure I've had the worst fucking crush on him since I met him. but you got nothing to fear from the likes of me.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : It's not just creepy stuff that he loves. I mean...he's like any aficionado when it comes to his craft. Like you with the violin, and me with lost shipwrecks. And...I had no idea, that you had a crush on him. He never said, but he generally has difficulty thinking anyone would be interested in him. Are you sure though? You're pretty easy to love, do I need to hire a hitman? ::devil emoji::

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : In all seriousness that's fair. I actually wanted to jump Javier's bones over the summer. I...my mother had just died, and he had been there looking into me. He was being kind. I knew it for what it was though and honestly? I think the only reason why I didn't was because I was already hung up with Alexander and didn't know it. We weren't speaking at the time. Go figure we were already fighting before anything could really start??

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : I am as sure as can be possible in an imperfect world. I asked him out more than once and each time he said no, because of you.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : hell I asked him to just go to bed with me and he said no. So that's an iron-clad guarantee you got right there.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : girl I can't blame you. De la Vega is the hottest man in this town.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I had no idea. Wow. I feel like a... ::laugh emoji:: Ugh. You know that story only makes me feel a thousand times dumb for being irrationally jealous all the time when it's him?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Do you ever get that way?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : man, I've been so fucking jealous. like crazy, rip my hair out, revenge fantasies jealous over de la Vega. this old flame of his is back in town and...I'm pretty sure I'm gonna let him see him, but damn. this guy is a paragon and I'm an ex-con. so that's uhhh that's been hard.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : ....wait. What old flame?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : ....holy shit, is it Joe Cavanaugh?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : Joe Cavanaugh, you met him? tall blonde southern guy, certain age? drinks like a fish?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : yep that's him.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Yeah he's ex-navy. Helped me out while I had a busted leg, did a stint on that weird asylum upstate after his accident. I....you know that explains a lot. I knew he and Javier had a history I just had no idea it was a romantic one. I...wow. What are the odds?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : yeah, just between you and me, right? De la Vega's not exactly out. Plus Roen told me that it might hurt Cavanaugh's pension. so on the down-low, yeah?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I won't say anything. I promise. Are you...okay with that, though? If you're jealous?

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : that's what this fucking town does, rattles every skeleton in your closet. sometimes literally. anyway Cavanaugh's a fucking war hero and he writes books and he comes from a super rich old family and basically he's everything I could not possibly be.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Oh hon, when it comes to the things that matter, that really means fuck all though. I promise you.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : yeah, everybody I mention this to tells me that. hard for me to see, you know? but I'm...I mean I'm not not jealous. But after Javier was sick, I found myself like, seriously, this is what I'm gonna get hung up on? Don't I want him to be happy? And I do. I want him to be happy. He'd had such a hard life. I want him to have everything he wants.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : and I actually had to rescue Cavanaugh from over There, so turns out, I can do some pretty great stuff he can't.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Yeah, I can see that. That people would tell you that. But I understand it, too. That fear that in the end you might not be what the person you love needs. It's one of those things where the logical part of you knows it's stupid, but the part of you that wants to sacrifice what you have to in order for that person to be happy will always want that person to be with who is best for them. But I don't think Javier would be with you if he wasn't happy with you. If you weren't giving him something that he needs.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Well I mean, you are a pansexual lighthouse. ::winky face:: I mean, being pan is great but the lighthouse part is pretty impressive too.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : you should see the shade of red I just turned

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : I don't know what he needs, you know? Shit, I don't know what I need. I don't know what anybody needs unless they're a reptile and then I can figure it out. Only thing I know is I am crazy about a surly Mexican cop.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : On the scale of stop sign to satellite beacon, how red? Asking for a friend. And....I mean, you could always ask him. And if he doesn't tell you, you can tell him that once he figures it out, to let you know. Honestly, I learned that lesson the very hard way. I don't think anyone else has ever seen Alexander absolutely furious, but I have. It takes a lot, but I guess if there is anyone on the planet who can drive him to shout, it'd be me.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : he shouted at me once! it was AWESOME. I tried to get him to do it again in Yiddish but he didn't. I think he was mad.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : and...yeah. Yeah that's pretty logical and shit. Ask de la Vega. Only it can be really hard to ask him anything, you ever notice that?

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Wow, really? What was he mad at you about? Er, if you're comfortable talking about it. And yeah, it could be. That hasn't stopped me though. It shouldn't stop you.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : ahh christ I don't even remember. He thought I was laughing at him I think? Maybe i was, but only because he's adorable.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : The taciturn ones need to be pushed sometimes. A lot of the time. It's fucking exhausting but sometimes it's the only way to get to the heart of something.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : lucky me, I push everyone without even trying

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : So what you're saying is I don't have to worry about you in that regard too much. 😉 I think you're good for him, Itzhak. Seriously.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : even I'm not enough of an asshole to try to seduce someone who's monogamous. uh, at least....not anymore. more full disclosure, I can be a real ho. but nah, never, not Alexander. he'd tear himself up over it and that's if he didn't just taze me into next week. I like having hair. and I like having him as a friend, too. And he's really hot, you ever notice that? people don't notice it but under those hobo clothes he's got a body.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Well I more meant that...I don't have to worry about you not standing up to Javier. And yeah, I...honestly? I don't have a lot of experience with dating. Or even hooking up. I spent ten years married to my education and my work, and when I did hook up, it was transient..my life didn't have room for anything else. So when I was floundering and flailing as to how I was going to do this, I was pretty up front with him about my jealousy and I told him if I was ever not enough, he should let me know. He never has, he keeps telling me I am. Sometimes I doubt that but that's largely because I doubt myself. I'm afraid of a lot of the things you're afraid of, also.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : And he's...yeah. ::laughing emoji:: I can't get enough of him. The body definitely HELPS. But I was stupidly attracted to his intelligence first. His brain. And...the things he can do with it.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Add that on top of what he's got under his clothes and...ugh. Fuck me I'm actually squirming on my chair talking about this. You had to bring it up!

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : hahaha yep I'm bright frikkin red now!

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : Mild comeuppance to you talking about getting braced by Javier and making me wonder what would have happened if I took the leap!

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : look, I've fucked a lot of guys, not that I'm a slut but I totally am, and de la Vega? he's a fuckin prize, let me tell you.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : it sounds stupid to say 'but it's for the best you didn't', but it really is. he needs friends he's not also fucking. so do I.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : we both maybe are a little too eager to work stuff out with our fists and our dicks. so you can go ahead and imagine THAT when we're fighting.

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : No judgment. If anything I can't help but wonder what kind of person I would be if I put myself out there more before I came back. But I feel the same way you do. I think in the end things worked out the way it should.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : once in a while it's nice that they do.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : okay, I gotta get going, text me when you find out you rocked your dissertation and you got a bunch of crabby old archaeologists carrying you around on their shoulders and cheering

(TXT to Itzhak) Isabella : I will. Thanks for checking in on me, you're sweet. And take care of that leg! Please be safe, I'll see you when I get back.

(TXT to Isabella) Itzhak : see ya then. :kiss emoji: