2020-06-18 - How Do You Make This Look Easy!?
There's bad news and then the type of news that makes one question how a human being is capable of accomplishing a thing without breaking physics.
IC Date: 2020-06-18
OOC Date: 2019-12-27
Location: Text Landia
Related Scenes: 2020-06-18 - F for Effort 2020-06-19 - Who Moved My Cheese? 2020-06-21 - So You Were Right. I won't Tell if You Won't.
Plot: None
Scene Number: 4767
As Sparrow explained to Corey (and the text image Grant sent to Vyv) shows what is now a lopsided cylinder of melted molten metal. In the picture sitting on the rear left burner of Grant Baxter's stove was a non-stick pot which, when left unattended for an extended period of time, had melted right down into the burner. How he even accomplished this who even fucking knows.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Why is what you do so hard?!
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: (...bouncing dots...)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: How.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I dunno. I was trying- and then the- but I-and- I dunno
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I was just doing what everyone else does and just preheat and throw whatever is in the cupboard in
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: next thing I knew the kitchen was on fire
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: That is not what everyone else does!
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You're all right? No burns? You're not breathing that, are you? I'm not going to have to take you to the ER again?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Nah I put oven mitts and a bandanna on. Sparrow helped me get the windows open. No one's breaking into my place.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Man I hope we don't get raided for this
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: The arrival of firefighters is not generally considered a raid.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: It's not?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Huh. Good to know.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: So you're not... ya know. We're not... ?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You should probably leave the premises for some hours until it fully dissipates. I'm reasonably sure you've turned your air into some sort of poison gas.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Yeah I texted Greg and told him to stay out. I'm going over to Jones Town after Sparrow takes me to go buy some new kitchen stuff to replace what broke
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: down
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: on a very, very molecular level >_<
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And no. Law enforcement and frat boys perform raids. Firefighters and paramedics... do something else, but I'm having trouble finding the word because how did you manage that, Bax?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: It's Gray Harbor! These things just happen to me. I can't explain it! Q.Q
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Please avoid Jonestown. I would still prefer you steered clear of poisoning and certainly via off-brand powdered drink mixes.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I will note I am also in Gray Harbor and yet I have not melted a single metal object to date. Intentionally or otherwise.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You're forbidden to attempt unsupervised cooking in my apartment, incidentally. Not that this is news but it bears reiterating.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You may be forbidden to attempt unsupervised cooking anywhere, at this point.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Well the kitchen lives in abject terror and awe of you. Best I have is gravity and I are pretty cool.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 😟
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'm sorry
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: What were you trying to make in the first place?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Spaghetti sauce. I think. I forgot.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I feel we may have just diagnosed the problem.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And no. I'm not going to shun you for accidental amateur blacksmithing. As long as you don't attempt to turn my appliances into an ersatz forge.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Yeah preheating the stove top is harder than it looks. How you accomplish this I don't know but mad respect to you and Corey for figuring it out.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You're sure you and Sparrow have this under control? That image doesn't look particularly promising even for the stove itself, frankly. You've left the building, yes?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And generally, one does not preheat the stovetop. Never put an empty pan on the heat. Currently in your case, never put any pan on the heat, but generally speaking, do not put an empty pan on the heat.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: So what I'm hearing is avoid heat, and maybe the pan, and probably anything short of the microwave?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Probably, yes. In fact I'm not entirely sanguine about the microwave, and for once not only because it so often lends itself to pale imitations of food.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Well you shouldn't bleed on it to work. It doesn't require sorcery to work. Just pizza and an outlet.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: If there's a way to end up bleeding on it, necessary or not, I have entire faith you'll manage it.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: After how badly I cocked up the kitchen you can still compliment my ingenuity? You must really be worried about my safety. I'm fine I'm just, I guess, mad at me. it'll be okay.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I'm frequently worried about your safety, darling.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: 😒 I don't want you in there until it's had time to air out. If you're not staying at Sparrow's tonight, come to mine.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Do not attempt to cook.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'll keep you posted. Right now we're going replacement shopping and then food since lunch is apparently a bust. I will keep you posted. And I won't attempt anything more viscous than a PBJ.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: If your PB&J is viscous, you may be doing that wrong too. Do make sure at least the bread is solid.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: All right. I'll wait to hear how these things go. Please try to breathe as few deadly poisons as possible, in the meantime. And tell Sparrow hello.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'll have her do it. I don't trust my luck or my judgement today. Call when you close shop later.
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