2020-07-03 - A Murder of Our Own
And maybe a tiny bit of actual genuine worry.
IC Date: 2020-07-03
OOC Date: 2020-01-06
Location: Text
Related Scenes: None
Plot: None
Scene Number: 4836
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Hey, so.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Are you okay?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Why hello there!
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Word about that funeral getting around, huh? Don't worry, I've had worse.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I mean, okay, not usually involving birds, or at least not when I don't try to eat french fries on the beach, but y'know.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: ...seriously, I didn't expect anyone to attack a funeral, but I guess if you wanna try to kill cops the funeral of a cop that got killed is a logical if both ballsy and extra-dickish place to go.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Okay, so.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: First?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I'm allowed to worry when I hear second hand that you were involved in a firefight at a funeral.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I like the way all your outsides and insides are arranged and would like that arrangement not to change.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I mean. Unless you wanted some change. That's your perogative.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Not some jerk who starts shit at a funeral.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Second?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: WTF is this about a bird?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Joey mentioned a bird, too. And a piano?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: First... I'm pretty good with the current arrangement, really, yeah. Or the standard arrangement, I guess. I didn't get shot, just slashed up a little. Shirt's a goner, but I'll be fine. For the record, though? On balance I definitely won. They won't be attacking THAT funeral again.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: If I was hurt worse, I'd tell you sooner. Well, assuming I could, anyway. Don't particularly want to make you worry about me, and I'm not going to for little scratches. But it's nice you care. ❤️
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Second... shit, I don't know how it lined up, if the people took advantage of the bird distraction or if they did it somehow, possibly with french fries, but a whole flock of crows swarmed the funeral and started attacking people. Damnedest thing. And there was piano music, I think, but... well, funeral. There were bagpipers too. I think they got killed, actually.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I'm not a worrier by nature. So.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I'll keep it to a minimum.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Just... ya know. Not what I was expecting to hear today.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Also? I am weirdly sad about the bagpipers 🙁
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: And kinda wishing I had my own murder of trained attack crows.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Might be thinking about fashioning them colorful little helmets so we can tell 'em apart.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: You doing okay? And yeah, to be honest, it wasn't what I was expecting to experience yesterday, either.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: And I can't say I'm a huge fan of bagpiping but I wouldn't ever have voted death penalty for it. ...yeah, it's kind of fucked up. They were just paying respects. Now they need funerals too?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: But in happier thoughts: I am on board with your own murder of trained attack crows in little coloured hats. Maybe a shared murder, I want that too now. Partners in crime?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: That text better not get used against us someday.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Pretty sure I'd be doing better if I could make sure everything under your deceased shirt is alright.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: And yeah. Duh. Obvs the Murder is part of the crew, Captain. ❤️
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Def have our work cut out for us.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: One seamstress. One trained murder with adorable helmets.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Should we have the seamstress make the helmets, or do we need a leatherworker or blacksmith for that? Actually I bet we could make good use of either or both in general...
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Y'know, if you want to come relieve your mind, everything under my deceased shirt is taking it easy at home right now. It has Netflix and most of a box of half-price leftover Father's Day chocolates. It might share.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: If you ask it nice.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Definitely could put a leatherworker or blacksmith to good work, but. Bird helmets can just be painted bottle caps, right?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I was gonna use bottle caps.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Now. Just out of curiosity. To weigh my options.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: What happens if I don't ask nice?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Someone's gotta attach the little straps. Also they could have brushes on the top like Spartan helmets.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I might bring my pistol with me just for the purposes of not asking nice.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: If you don't ask nice, it probably eats the chocolates with blatant and exaggerated enjoyment and refuses to share. What, are you going to threaten an injured chest with a pistol?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: It is a nice pistol, though.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Feel like if we give em spartan helmets, we're need to give them gladiuses too, and that's just silly.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Might prod at it annoyingly, yep.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Pester it into submission.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Also, already on my way.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Will you be in uniform when I arrive or is it casual day on the ship, Captain?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: What, you want to leave our avian army unarmed? They'll be at a disadvantage against the gulls!
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Casual day so far, but I might have you help me get into uniform once you're here.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Everyone is at disadvantage against the gulls 😐
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Might. That another of these ask nicely situations?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I'll practice my please and thank yous on my way over.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Also?
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Is it weirder if I tell you how much you make me smile in text or in person?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I like a please and a thank you. ...I mean, my chest does.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I like a you, too.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: And an important question. Maybe you should try it both ways and find out! Experimental techniques FTW. Might turn out not weird either way, but hey, disproving a hypothesis is more definite anyway.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Fuck. You know how to talk to me.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: You make me smile a whole lot. A lot a lot. A lot.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: It'd be impolite to tell you what else you do to me when you go all science nerd on me, but I'll letcha see for yourself when I get there.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I declare this 'not weird', except in the sense that as far as I know there's never been a census taken on the effect of me on most people's smiles so you might be a statistical outlier.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: And also, I'm glad. Makes me smile. A lot. Possibly a lot a lot.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: And I'm 100% in favour of doing things to you when I go all science nerd on you when you get here.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: I'll measure when I get there. The quantity of your smiling. Seems significant.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: But I gotta stop texting if I'mma drive.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Or walk. Might walk.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Either way. Hands on experiments soon. 😘😘😘
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Definitely gotta stop if you're driving. If you're walking, hold on, I need to remember how many telephone poles there are between there and here.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Remember? Have you previously counted?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I'll get the lab coats and experimental apparatus ready. 😘
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: ...and maybe. Maybe I was bored enough to record them all one day. Maybe I just have a photographic memory. Maybe I'm totally bullshitting. There's no way to know. I am a Man of Mystery. 🤵🏻🍸
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: There's totally a way to know.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: And I'm way into it either way.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: You gimme a number. I'll walk and count. Expect punishment to match the difference.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: And reward for getting it right. Obvs. 😏
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Questioning my Mystery, mmm?
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: I do like rewards, though.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: Your methods can remain a mystery. I just want a number.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: 18 coming down Douglas to Bayside, 22 if you take Spruce.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: Assuming your place as the starting point, obviously.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: So turned on right now.
(TXT to Rhys) Sparrow: See you soon, Captain. 😘😍❤️
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: There's also a really crap cellphone tower that wanted to be a pine tree when it grew up at the corner of Alder and Spruce, but we don't talk about that, let alone count it.
(TXT to Sparrow) Rhys: See you soon. I'll try not to eat all the chocolate before you arrive. 😉
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