2020-10-05 - Enquirer Inquiry

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : Hey Casanova, I think you were in some shitty tabloid. I had to explain to my mom today that I am married, that I was not drugged, and that I am not getting divorced from the person she didn't know I was married to.

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : You're not wrong. It was the National Enquirer. They think I roofied you and raped you, all courtesy of our friends on the big yacht. Am considering stealing the seal off their yacht myself, like some kind of spiteful trash monster. I'm very sorry. I kind of hoped you wouldn't find out about this.

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : Technically Martha did. I’m going to let you in on a terrifying secret...My family is like super normal. Martha is a nurse who reads crap like the the National Enquirer. Bill is a mechanic. If you tell people I will turn you into cat food.

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : I am already cat food. Ask my cat. Not going to talk to anyone about your family. 😆 Sorry you had to deal with this. The story changed. I'm not famous anymore, you should be off the hook.

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : I most certainly am not. Because of you I had to explain how I married “that nice military boy” who “helped me become a businesswoman” and “stopped looking for superheroes”. Martha got to say how I finally turned out normal, just like she hoped. I feel the need to go participate in a satanic ritual or something.

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : Or roofie some poor soul on a boat and take advantage of them.

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : Can we use somebody else's boat this time?

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : Jokes aside -- if I understand how this works, your parents probably already forgot.

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : Oh, I would use that damn yacht. Also about the roofie thing yes. About the married thing no. Leon thought it was really funny and wanted me to thank you.

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : ... For roofing you?

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : Sorry about outing your marriage to your folks, too. But quite honestly not very sorry that everyone's probably already forgot that I drugged you and had my wicked ways. I can live without that, and so can you. But, uh, yes, glad Leon didn't believe it either.

(TXT to Ravn) Maggi : More or less. He knows you’re a good guy Casanova. He thinks it’s funny that I had to inform the Madsen’s. He’s been trying to get me to for months. Don’t let the veil get you down. Let me know if you need to drink about it. I know I need to.

(TXT to Maggi) Ravn : Honest? I keep thinking of excuses to come by the Po/urhouse. My kind of place, low key, quiet, unpretentious. I'll come over sometime this week, you can tell me WHY you call me Casanova.