2020-11-12 - Waffletacos

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Hello. This is Alexander Clayton. I have questions.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : You know, I would type back 'New Phone, who 'dis', but you just told me. Ruins the joke. You, have questions? Never! I don't believe it.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : I am the fun ruiner. I ruin all manner of fun. And I think you're being sarcastic. That's okay.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I am being sarcastic, you are correct. What are your questions, Alexander? I might have answers.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : We were attacked again by a giant flesh amalgam of various Gilligan's Island characters. So my question is what is the most valuable member of the Gilligans Island class. I found old episodes on YouTube. You can watch them. If you're too young.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : First things first I am familiar with Gilligan's Island, so that is an easy one to answer. The Professor. If it wasn't for him, they would have all died within the first week due to a lack of hydration. But more impotently, you got attacked? By GI Characters? I mean, I wouldn't mind getting attacked by Ginger or Mary Ann...but that is a whole other kind of dream.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Ginger explodes. It's not a good time. She blew Aidan up. Not in the fun way, in the ::explosion emoji:: way. Actually, I have a scar on my chest from a Ginger explosion. But you're not wrong about the Professor.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Ok, that doesn't sounds like so much fun. Is Aidan ok? Are you ok? Of course I am not wrong, the Professor was the shit.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : I'm fine. Everyone wanted to kill Javier. Except the first Ginger, who got Aidan. But he should be fine. Probably. I did like the Professor. You have to admire a man who can power everything with coconuts.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Why were people going after de la Vega? Sounds like a bad tripp.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Coconuts make the world go round...

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Some dreams are like that. And Javier is a bit of a magnet for violence. When the ghosts shot up the Two If By Sea, I think he got shot about five million times. I feel like he should just wear armor everywhere.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : That is a lot of times for someone to be shot. How is he not dead.

Or maybe he did die and one of Them took him over?!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : I think he's just stubborn. Very stubborn. We should punch each other again! You and me. Not me and Javier. We've done that. It's not really as productive as I was promised.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I'm always game to put the pads on and do some sparing. Keeps one on their toes! Anytime. What did you and de la Vega fight over? Anything interesting?

There are a lot of stubborn people here. Most the people I meet are stubborn.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Nothing interesting. I had a temper tantrum. They happen. And I understand like attracts like. You don't seem unstubborn, but I could be wrong. Maybe you are a giant teddy bear.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Oh, I am sure when I set my mind on something I am as stubborn as the next mule. I don't know if I have ever been labeled a teddy bear. Sounds like you had an interesting night. Glaf I missed dit.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : What did you doooo then, if not get blown up by antique bombshell actresses?

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Nothing nearly as exciting. I went to work and stood around, and then I went home and slept. I know, I lead an exciting life.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Bright side, no explosions. Or down side. If you like explosions. I don't judge. I do. Actually. Judge. ::explosion emoji:: You should wear ear protection.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I mean, I like to see explosions just like most people, but yeah I don't particularly want to be IN one. If I was in an explosion I think ear protection would be the least of my worries.

So...you just texted me to ask about The Professor? What, di you expect I would say Gilligan? The Skipper? Mr. Howell?

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Someone must have liked Gilligan. It was called Gilligan's Island! But I have not found anyone who does. Mystery. And the Howells are racists. But I meant ear protection at the club. If you're standing there all night, there's probably loud music. It's not good for your cochlear regions.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Oh, yeah. That makes sense. You're probably right, wearing some earplugs, might not be a bad idea. Thanks for the suggestion!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : I am filled with many good suggestions, Seth. Many. I am also filled with hungry. There's ice cream in the fridge. That's basically food.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Ice cream is one of the main food groups, right? Dairy. You can't live without dairy. Well, you probably can, but who would want to?

I could go for some tacos myself. All the tacos. All of them!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : tacos are also good. ::taco emoji:: ::ice cream cone emoji::

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Wait.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Another great suggestion!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Ice. Cream. Tacos.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : ICE CREAM TACOS! ::party emoji:: ::party hat emoji::

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : We are fucking brilliant. Best of both worlds, available in vanilla, chocolate, and tongue.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Tongue tacp? Tongue ice cream taco? I mean, sure...I suppose you could do that if that is what floats your boat. I'll stick with cookies and cream.

OH OH! Ice Cream Taco USING WAFFLE FOR THE SHELL!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Tongue makes great tacos. I've never tried tongue ice cream, but I bet it's gourmet as fuck.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : !!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : YES. THAT IS THE PATH.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : We should market this. Sell the idea to the Twofer. We will be rich.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Easton would be all over this. Especially if we can add booze in some way.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Booze infused waffle taco shells. Ice cream. Alcohol soaked cherries for garnish. Goldmine

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Yes. Yes. This pleases me, Seth. Now all we have to do is deep fry the whole thing, and I would eat about sixseven million of them. Right now.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : OOOHHHH, dip it into a nice beer batter, then deep flash fry it like they do with fried ice cream! I'm all over it. We should bring some to Vic.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Yes. But she's going to punch you in the nutsack. She has not forgotten. She has not forgiven.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I'll make sure to wear a cup. She won't expect that. Unless you tell her...you are going to tell her aren't you.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : You did paint her back with primer. And she's been sad, and it feels like causing grevious bodily harm to your genitalia would cheer her up. It's a hard decision.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : So you are saying I should let my junk get punched? Just to cheer her up?

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Why is she sad?

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : I think it would be a nice thing to do. And they were teasing her about her lack of sex.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Dude, all she has to do is ask. It's not like she is a pariah or anything. I'm sure she would have guys lining up.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : ::shrug emoji:: You'd think. She's attractive, seems fun? Shouldn't be hard.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Apparently it is. Hell if I know why.

::Insterted GIF of Katniss Evergreen volunteering as tribute::

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : People make these things too damned complicated! You want sex, you ask, people either turn it down or are into it, sex is either had or isn't. VERY SIMPLE.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Nothing is every really that simple. Fear of rejection, fear of making things awkward after. If it was like some stranger, sure, nothing to loose. But with a friend? Complications abound.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Benefits of being an empath, I guess. Also, cults.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : That waht you are? Empathic? You know, I used to think things like that were bullshit...now that I know I have to be careful round you! You might get the vibes I am putting out...lol. Kidding.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Yes. ::brain emoji:: I can't read thoughts. No fear of your secrets. Just emotions. Memories, sometimes, on things. And I used to think ghosts were bullshit! ::ghost emoji:: I was psychic, but figured THAT had to be made up. Because I'd never seen one. I was wroooong.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Guess we were both wrong huh! Ghosts, Pregnant frogs, mind powers...all of it. This is a fucked up place. But the whole world is kinda fucked up right?

You should see this...

::Insert pic of an eggo folded in half with ice cream scoops in the middle and chocolate sauce drizzled all over it::

It's missing something.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : You made a prototype?? Excellent. Needs...

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : ::pic of whiskey bottle::

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Ohh...even better.

::pic of Irish Cream bottle + pic of Kaluha bottle::

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : ::hearteyes emoji:: ::hearteyes emoji:: We're gonna be so fucking rich.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : OMG...you should TASTE this. SO GOOD!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : You're eating it?? But that's our prototype! And I'm jealous!

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Have to test the prototype! Make sure it is up to standards...and it is....but I just added some 2.0 tech to it.

::pic of bottle of port::

GIves it a nice fruitiness to go with the chocolate. I can try and save some, but no promises.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : It will get all soggy. Enjoy it! I might have some Eggos around here for later. I'm not gonna try to fry anything in my current state, though.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Yeah, didn't fry this one. That will have to be 3.0. I don't have a fryer. ::sadface emoji::

I shouldn't eat this. So many bad things in here for me. I don't care...

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : You have abs for days. You're fine. And you need to sell it to Easton, so you HAVE to eat it. The fate of our future fortunes relies on you eating that waffletaco!

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I have abs for days because I DON'T eat this kind of thing, but I am sure once or twice (or three or four or five) times won't hurt.

WAFFLETACO! Hrm, that almost sounds like some form of VD. Maybe we need another name...

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : The VD version would be tacowaffle. But you're right. Something classy. Dessert Taco? Magnificent Taco of Booze?

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Let Easton worry about the marketing bullshit. We just have to present the waffletaco to him, he can worry about the logistics. We are the idea men!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Yes. Yes, I like this. It pleases me. I will approach him about it and we can find a time to present it. With a flourish. Maybe we can set something on fire. Small. Something small, not like the bar. ::cash emoji::

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : FLAMBE!!!! Set IT on fire like a baked Alaska!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : YES. Everything is better when it's flambe!

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : We are going to be so rich. :Cash emoji: :dollar sign eye emoji:

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : We will be drowning in cash and ice cream. I will buy Isabella an ocean filled with shipwrecks.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Is Isabella your woman? I don't know her.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Yes. She's an archaeologist and a diver, and basically Lara Croft but with less stealing of artifacts and murdering of endangered species. You might have run into her as a kid, but she wasn't here for a long time. Then she came back, and my ghost great great grandfather murdered her mother, and she got possessed by a ring obsession.

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Wait. That happened the other way around.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Sounds like a catch. I might have, it's true. High School is kind of a blur though, so if I did I may not remember. Maybe if I saw her. That sounds like an interesting courtship?

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : But it just goes to prove

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : There is indeed someone out there for everybody!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : You should meet her one day. But as I told Stewart, if anyone hurts her, I will kill you all. Slowly. I don't think I mentioned the slowly part, but right now I just want to do everything slowly. Why are we in such a hurry all the time, anyway? I want a waffletaco, too.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : I don't have any intentions or plans to hurt her, so I think we are good.

If you want a waffletaco, make a waffletaco! Be the man! Take charge of your destiny! Gorge on sugary sweet carby goodness!

(TXT to Seth) Alexander : Excellent. And you're right. I'm going to waffletaco. I can be a creator AND a client! ::cash emoji:: ::taco emoji:: you're nice to talk to. Dont die.

(TXT to Alexander) Seth : Thanks. You're not so bad yourself. I don't plan on it.