2021-06-09 - Well, Bread

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: So I used toast instead of a bagel for my sandwich...

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: it's like bread but thinner and weaker

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: ...it'll do

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Toast IS bread. It's toasted bread. That's what it is.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Which is generally the same width and stronger than untoasted bread.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Bagels are breads, yet not generally referred to that generically. Interesting, actually.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: They're stronger because they're round aren't they?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Why aren't more things made out of bagels

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: They're amazing

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I believe round things often are stronger, but in the case of bagels v standard bread I think it's more a matter of density and expected thickness.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And certainly there's something to be said for firmness and expected thickness.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Once in a while even sandwich-related.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: What was on yours? Do I want to know?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I love it when you text dirty explaining food

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Honestly? You probably don't.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: cinnamon butter, cereal, sprinkles, bacon, ham

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: On toast.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I wanted bacon but also to nosh on something crunchy

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: yeah it needed a lot of cinnamon butter to stay on there

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I might need to use peanut butter as an adhesive next time

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You are aware that bacon can be made crunchy, yes? It OUGHT to be crispy.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Why specifically cinnamon butter? Is that just what was to hand? And I'm sure I'll regret this, but what sort of cereal?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Yeah it's what was there and captain crunch

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I told you crunchy was required

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Ugh. Though I suppose that could be worse. Isn't Captain Crunch fairly simple? Sugary wheat puffs? Or am I thinking of some other terrible thing?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant:

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: more squarish. like toasted for maximum density or something.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: kinda hard honestly

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Clearly intended to be softened with milk.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And the sprinkles?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: You said good food has colour. So I used the rainbow ones.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: it was all really really brown otherwise

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: That is not precisely what I had in mind.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: What did you think of the result?

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: ...and, aside from not a bagel and toasted, what bread was it?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Wheat?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 🍞

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Just a standard sort of wheat?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: ...

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I love you but you are complicating my sandwich here. It was bread. I dunno

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You can remember 3542 different sorts of skateboard jump.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I can't do all of them though!

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: (Sends pic of half a sandwich)

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: That looks revolting. And also like a standard supermarket wheat, nothing notable. All right.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You didn't answer what you think of the result, though. How is it?

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 🥰

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Sooooo damn good. like candied bacon disassembled

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You realise you're devaluing your appreciation of things I make, yes?

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: In any case.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Pork does do well with spice and sweet, which you're presumably getting from the cinnamon for the former and the sprinkles and cereal for the latter. If the meat and toast are done properly I suppose you'd have a reasonable level of pleasant resistance to the bite.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I could never devalue a master. This is what I'm reduced to like a glaze without you at the helm

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Also do you htink cheese? y/n

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I'm sure that cereal's far too crunchy for it. When you say 'cheese', to what substance specifically are you actually referring?

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Noting that anything which comes in individually wrapped slices may not qualify for the designation.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Havarti or pepperjack

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I'm not entirely sure I want any responsibility for this. But if you're enjoying the candied-bacon effect then I suppose one might lean toward the havarti.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 😀

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Be sure to tell me how the result is. If only to assuage any concerns it may have been too much for even your constitution to bear.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: there's no sausage in it

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: We're good

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'd make you one but I'm still concerned baout your health

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Just because sausage and assuage are anagrams does not mean they're the same thing. Anyway, I doubt a third mode of pork in that sandwich would be your most likely downfall.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Thank you for not making me one.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: that make it Kosher assuage?

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: It does not.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Nothing about that sandwich is Kosher in any sense.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Well there's me.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I don't think I can make it that way though. :thinking: I'll get teh salt

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I really don't think you qualify.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Man I totally forgot how we got to this conversation.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You were lamenting your lack of bagel.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Oh damn. I could really go for a bagel right now.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You are even now eating something that purports to be a sandwich.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: But as it happens, I have bagels at home.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant:

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Saw this. thought of you.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: That is terrible.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: All I can say is ciabatta be certain it's not actually an Italian one.

(TXT to Vyv) Grant:

(TXT to Vyv) Grant: VYV!!!

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: All right, yes, that is a stylish and clever toaster design. I'd prefer it without the handles, aesthetically, but I see the need for them.

(TXT to Grant) Vyv: The bagel situation might be a problem, however.