2019-07-01 - Levis Jeans

Bennie came home from the hospital, threw on an oversized flannel shirt that fits her like a dress, grabbed a medical text and promptly fell asleep on the couch. She had ever intention to study as she waited for Easton, but something about the simple relief of having a plan in place to see him again released enough of the tension to make it easy for her to slip off. Thankfully, it's a dreamless sleep, or at least the sort that the veil slips over.

A warm, clear night! Easton has his Harley roadster out and for a few glorious minutes as he buzzes across town he can feel the warm breeze blowing on his face and remember a time before things got complicated. Things often just feel simple when he's riding, and he can forget about certain inconvenient details. Those details are waiting for him at the end of the ride as he parks his bike outside Bennie's place. He takes off his helmet, slips off the backpack on his back and knocks lightly on the door. At no answer he tries the handle and calls out, "Bennie? You home?"

Bennie keeps the place locked up tighter than a duck's ass in water when she's home, so the handle doesn't budge. There is, quite to the contrary of her security measures, a key left in the pot for Easton but the door swings open shortly and he's met with a messy haired Bennie, smiling slightly while she's rubbing ruefully at her eyes. "Sorry, must have dozed off." She pushes the door open wider, a silent invitation for him to come inside.

Easton is digging for the key when the door swings open. He stands and takes her in, he pushes past her, setting his helmet and bag down somewhere before peeling off his thick motorcycle jacket. It's actually hot for once and the jacket is overkill. Once all that is done, he steps closer to her and pulls her against him, he kisses her but doesn't pull away before saying, "I'm really glad you texted." Leaving aside that it would have been better had it been last night or before he started texting other people, it's a true enough statement.

Bennie stifles a yawn as he stashes his gear, half caught off guard when she's hauled up against him. Her form melts instantly against his, hands lifting to cradle the back of his head with their spray of fingers sliding into his hair as she returns the kiss in a slow, contented way. There is a heartfelt sigh released from her lungs when they part, "I'm sorry, Easton."

Easton's eyes shoot off to the side and his eyebrows raise as she apologizes. He then looks to the other side, confused like their might be some hidden camera somewhere. "Uhh. I guess I'll bite, but why are you sorry? Cause I got fancy ass apology chocolate in my bag and a bunch of apologies to go with it. Maybe some groveling." He had intended to let her go, but the feel of her pressed up against him, her fingers in his hair means that he's much more reluctant to now.

Bennie continues toying with his hair, enjoying the springy way it feels against her palms with way the high and tight leaves it short in the back. "As much as I love a good bit of groveling...where there knees involved?" She grins slightly, but it's lacking its normal wattage. "You know, maybe you should sit for this. I'll grab us a few beers."

She slips away from his comforting warmth and pads to the kitchen, popping open the fridge and taking out a few Milwaukee's Beasts. Instead of returning right away, she pauses at one of the counters, and pops her can open. He can easily see through the pass through window that she's shaking out a few pills from different containers and downing them before she comes back into the living area. Handing over his, she comments. "After everything you've been through, Easton," The dream and the very real injury he came home from the service with a good indicator, "You deserve happy and easy. And I so wanted to give that to you."

Rubbing his head back against her fingers, enjoying the feel of his hair brushing against her hands. He nods seriously and says, "There certainly can be." He notices the smile, and the fact that it's not at it's usual blinding radiance, but isn't as sure about why that might be.

When she slips away, he goes for his bag and pulls out a bakery bag, sealed with a gold sticker it's extra fancy, from the french patisserie place in town. He sets it on the table and looks up just in time to see her down a couple pills. His 'radar' pings and he pauses trying to process what that was in a reasonable time before she comes back around the corner. He still has a confused, hesitant look on his face that only gets even further confused when she starts talking about what he's been through. He is shaking his head before she's even finished.

"No. Fuck no." He tries to keep any anger out of his voice, but doesn't quite succeed. "You don't owe me shit, and I don't deserve anything. I'm alive. That's it." He stops and asks, "What did you..?" Trying to follow her reasoning and why she's apologizing.

He forces out a breath and takes a sip of beer before trying again, "You saw some of it. And I've seen shit you've been through. Don't pity me. Please. But, I do want to be happy. You make me happy. You're the first fucking thing in a long time to do that."

"It's not pity, Easton. It's..." Bennie tries to figure out how to phrase it better, and just ends up pacing away with her beer swinging from her fingers while the other hand goes to her hair and finger combs some wild hair back from her temple. "It's just the last thing you need is my baggage. And normally I can tuck that away in a neat little box where it never sees the light of day for you, but it's like the second we get comfortable, my subconscious whammies us." Her eyes stray to the bag, and she just can't help herself. "Oh my god, I'm starving." She plops down on the couch next to him and reaches for it, already stuffing a chocolate in her mouth he has to chew around to ask, "Wait, why are you apologizing?"

Easton looks wary as she tries to assure him it's not pity. It sounds an awful lot like it. At the part about her baggage though he shakes his head and says, "You have a past. So do I. And frankly, I don't care. I want you." He isn't really hearing her, or giving it the proper thought, partially because he is distracted with his own issues. The opening of the chocolates brings his mind back to that though and he plops down next to her on the couch as she asks. He takes a big gulp of beer and turns to her and says, "I thought.." He exhales "I thought you were blowing me off. And I got wasted and slept with someone. And then you texted.. and, I'm an ass. I mean not that we had had any talks about what this was or wasn't or.." He knows he's hedging here but he can't help it. "But, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you." The more is silent.

Bennie's exuberant chewing slows and slows and finally stops so she has to choke down that bit of chocolate that has suddenly turned to sawdust in her mouth. "Oh." Is all she manages at first, before she has to reach for her beer to drown down the chocolate lump shaped apology in her throat. "Do I want to know with who?" She asks pragmatically.

Watching that process happen Easton's face contorts into a grimace. He just nods as she processes that with an 'Oh' and he takes a drink of his own beer. He looks at her with uncertainty as she asks if she wants to know who. Would it be easier to say it was a one night stand nobody? Maybe. But he grits his teeth and nods, "Yea, it was Baylee. I asked her over cause I couldn't sleep and wanted someone .." He catches himself making excuses and stops. He just leaves it there, knowing that if he keeps talking he will just keep finding ways to justify this.

"You really don't want me to finish that sentence for you, E." Bennie comments, her gaze straying away from his face to look in the direction of TV cabinet that just serves as housing for her various scraps of fabric, organized by color family. "Baylee." By the way the name is spoken, it probably wasn't at the top of her list of probabilities. She takes a deep breath, "Okay." She says with some finality of acceptance as she leans to slide her beer on the low table and get up again only to go to his jacket.

Easton realizes he did trail off at an inopportune time, but he just shrugs and says, "Yea. I'm not trying to be vague. I wanted someone to get high with and fuck. Maybe if I had seen you down those pills in the kitchen sooner, we could have had a more honest conversation about if that was something you were into, but somehow I convinced myself you were done with me. And so yea. I texted her. I'm sorry." He throws the lines about her in the kitchen casually but gives her a look of 'yea, I saw that' which doesn't have any judgement behind it, more wanting her to know that he saw and doesn't care. "We didn't get around to talking about some things before this place started fuckin' with our heads. But if you still want to, I do too."

Bennie starts patting down the pockets of his jacket, asking over her shoulder, "You smoke right?" While she's never seen him do it, per se, there is no denying the faint smell on his clothes or breath sometimes. Her shoulders are tense at his words, because even if they're spoken without judgment, something about the way it's phrased just sort of grates. "I take an anti-depressant since the crap with my family and Adderall since I was a kid for ADD. But if you mean do I recreationally take pain killers to get high? No, not since my mom choked down a fistful chased with a bottle of vodka." Frustrated now with the search for cigarettes, she just picks up the jacket and thrusts it at him for assistance in finding them. "So if you want to get high and fuck, we'll have to choose things I can either take and pass a piss test with, or get Aidan to flush my system before I go back to work. But not painkillers. Never painkillers for me." How is that for talking?

"Yea" Easton answers quickly, thankful for at least an explanation on why she's patting down his jacket. Though he expected her to fling it at him and tell him to get out. He nods at the part about the drugs and says, "Okay." He gives her a questioning look about her mom, but says, "I'm sorry." Wasn't she hanging in the Dream? He had assumed but never asked if that was actually how she died. He takes the jacket and pulls the cigarettes and lighter from the inside zipped pocket, they always fall out on the bike otherwise, and hands them to her. He doesn't seem even slightly chastened by her speech though, firing back, "Fine. But that's where I'm at. That's how I've been keeping my shit together and yes, getting numb and fucking anything on two legs is not exactly a long term plan, but that's where I'm at. Where I was at." He stops and tries to will himself not to escalate this into a fight. That's the opposite of what he meant to do.

"It's okay, Easton." Bennie assures, quieter this time so she doesn't come across as riled up as she may be on the inside. She takes the pack of smokes and shakes one out, tossing the rest on the table next to the chocolates and lighting up before the lighter too gets tossed. Then she's hiking up the flannel shirt enough that she can crawl onto his lap in a straddle, settling her weight on his knees. "Is that all you want me to be to you?" She asks before taking a drag, lips canted up towards the ceiling on the exhale before she offers the filter to his lips.

Easton's almost panicking, feeling the urge to yell and sliding down into a version of himself that he really doesn't want to be but then the fight doesn't materialize. He seems confused at first, but then relaxes when she straddles him. His hands automatically find her hips. He answers her question with palpable relief in his voice, "No. That's what I'm trying to say. Very, very poorly." He takes the cigarette and gladly takes a drag, exhaling over his shoulder. "I want you. Just you." He wants to add other things. Other goals and thoughts but baby steps are good. "What about you? What do you want?"

"First, I want to finish this cigarette. Then, I'm going to ravish you to repair my delicate female ego that I'm a better lay. Then I want to talk some more. And then probably back to the ravishing, so if you want to keep up, you might want to pop one of my pills. Though be careful, my 'script is running low, and I haven't gotten in to see the new Shrink yet for a refill." Bennie smiles and it doesn't stop spreading on her lips until it's at its full peak before she tilts her head and steals a quick kiss. "So if you want me, I'm all yours. And only yours."

Easton nods solemnly at each item on that list. Softly agreeing first "Much better" and then again, "Yes, definitely more ravishing." He quirks an eyebrow at the offer of taking of the pills but doesn't dwell on it. But then she's smiling that smile and just takes it in like it's the sun finally appearing after a long winter. He kisses her back quickly and then agrees. "I do. I want you. All of you." He then squirms a bit under her, adjusting apparently and says, "But mostly I want to get these jeans off and get to that ravishing."