2019-07-09 - Zen & the Art of Drunk Texting
When you poll a high-functioning addict for advice you sometimes get interesting solution options
IC Date: 2019-07-09
OOC Date: 2019-05-16
Location: Over Phone Texts
Related Scenes: None
Plot: None
Scene Number: 712
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Hey, have you seen my phone? I didn't leave it with you did i?
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: If you don't have your phone, how are you texting me?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: How does one sock always go missing when you sleep? Destiny
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: Are you drunk texting me with existential koan?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Maybe. I don't have eggs or tinsel though. Bonita I've written whole books like this
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: it's yet to help me find my phone
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: I missed it if you said how you are texting. But what is the sound of one hand clapping?
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: Wait why do you need eggs and tinsel?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: You siad something about an eggs and tinsel kaon. ALso itnsel is awesome. Not as awesome as wrapping someone's car in bubble wrap. God that was funny. My sister was so fucking pissed
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: if this is how you drunk text it is delightful
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: ok so what have you been drinking?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Uhhh it was Cinnamon toast crotch
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: crunch
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Cinnamon toast crunch. Fucking autocorrect.
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: that and a vicodin and there was some honey whiskey but that's gone.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: ah auto correct. it is our friend. why are you on vicodin? are you hurt?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Not any more than normal. Trust me I used to me messed up in fun ways instead of the unfun ones. Leg's buggin me and that kid we found? Moreso. She's alright though.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: backup 1) what is wrong with your leg 2) what kid are you talking about?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: That creepy house. Kid went missing and something really weird was goin on so we followed it and found this missing kis. She's not drinking with us. She's not old enough. She needs a drink.
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: DId you know ghosts are like super rude? Doooo not play will with others
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: she can have kool-ade and the only thing worse than ghosts are the dark men
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Well this thing looked like Skeletor on an acid trip. calavera en llamas. so to get that mental image out of my head I thought I'd see how you were doing. Much meter mental image.
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Also, please do not be on fire. Por favor
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: no fuego promise. only in the kitchen or on the dance floor. so while you are uninhibited can I ask you a bypthetical question
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Also it's in like 13 fucking pieces. They keep changing the number.
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Diga. What's up?
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: if you had things you couldn't rememver would you still try to rmember them even if you're certain they are horrible and painful?
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: also what's in pieces
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I think it depends. I mean if I remember? it sucks. If I don't who is gonna? Who gets hurt by us not knowing and do we owe them money? This kid ain't the first missing person I know. If we forget does their life go away? Do we earn getting to start over and would we like wind up where we are now because we didn't learn a damn thing?
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: remembering would be painful but it also might help stop other people from going through the same shit?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I've wanted to know this answer for 8 years trust me. I gotta think what we know helps someone else, even if it doesn't help us. I might be wrong but it gets me one more day, ya know? All these things are situational.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: I want to explain sometime but not over text. do you like rumchata?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: It's my jam. Goes with everything worth drinking lemme tell you. And yeah. I'd love to hear it when my brain isn't a cocktail.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: so what's with your leg
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: my brother's body might be a temple but mine's a mini bar
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: stop giving me openings for dirty remarks
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: My leg? Shit we've been putting humpty dumpty back together again for a while. Hopefully with better success than this throw pollow. There is fucking feathery bits all over. It looks like I went national lampoon christmas chicken on this thing without plucking it. Ducksplosion
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: sounds like it's time for body shots!!! there I said it are you happy. omg fine dodge the question
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio:
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: are you having a pillow fight
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: also duck is delicious
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I f I was I lost mucho to the couch. Napfail. Fail nappage. Tell you what when we have that talk about shit we'd love to foget and can't? Ask me again.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: no no
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: we should totally make a duck hold the throw pillows.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: I can't remember
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Oh!
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: and if I remember it will be awful shit
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Soy un idiota
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: but it might help others not go through the same awful shit
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: also really bad at text flirting
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: well when I'm sober
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: eventually
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: we should make a pro-con board and then flip a coin
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: one of these seems redundant
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I find the super impartial vote to be helpful sometimes
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Also it means I still have change
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: not all problems can be solved with a white board but I'll give it a try
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I mean you also gotta ask do you give a shit about other people and to what detriment to you. I mean just because you are a person doesn't mean you are legally obligated to care. Like it's your body and your brian you gotta take care of you too
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: there are things out there hurting people
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: or that that's really a factor either. I'm unhelpful. You promised not to catch on fire remember that.
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I'm more than acutely aware of the things out there hurting people. Hence the vicodin.
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: you are unhelpful and terrible at text flirting remrmber that. but also I might be able to stop some of those things. but I would have to try to remember
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I'm a super terrible at flirting. I'm like 8 years out of practice. But you do this and you need help? I'm with you. Truths are terrifying. It's why I try to avoid em. You have ot deal with them though it's best to not do it alone
(TXT to Ignacio) Julia: there's a place but I don't remember the important stuff about it but it needs to be wrecked so no one else goes through what happens there comprende?
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Anda ya! Si entiendo
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: Hey, hangovers love waffles and company. If you want to talk over breakfast I'd be down
(TXT to Julia) Ignacio: I might be more useful sober and cranky. Right now I'm so buzzed can't even feel your feet.
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