2019-07-17 - TFW You Should Have Fewer Shots Because... Because

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : landlordy, building policy query

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : 🐕🌈 y/n?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Miss Sutton, how may I help you?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Is that a monkey and a rainbow?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : it is very clearly a dog pooping rainbows or a dog who is out and fucking proud (holla)

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Hmm. So it is a dog. Your question is then: Are you allowed to have a dog in the apartments?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : You are allowed to have pets, yes. I'd say even ones that poop out rainbows, but I'm not sure what the consequences of that would be.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : joy & wonderment ... cool, asking for a friend. you're the best landlord i've had this year

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Thanks! I think. Dogs are fine. Cats are fine. Even snakes are fine. Just let me know if you're ever considering adopting a bear.

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Now that I have your attention. Did you have any questions for me regarding, well, anything? You were fairly quiet the day of the meeting.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : hahaha 🐻 🔪

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : sry, inside joke

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : was hung over at the meeting & since i just dumped about 160 bags of quickkrete on the guest speaker's lawn, i was hoping he wasn't armed 😃

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Excuse me.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : ... forget i said that

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : You did what to Captain de la Vega's lawn? No, no. Do tell.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : he started it ok.

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : You know that we're going to have to clear our conversation histories now, correct?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : pfft. ya put my name on a Craigslist ad for something that bags 34 2am - 6am calls for high tension ... gold standard.. something something shafts & ball penetration, ya get what ya get

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : do you have a secret teenaged daughter?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : No to the second question... but did de la Vega do what you'd mentioned in the first?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : It's not really my business, I know. But if one of my tenants is being harassed by phone calls, it's good to know.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : shit

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : i keep sending the secret kid one to the wrong people and everybody answers it anyway

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : no, no, i'm on top of him

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : IT

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : fuck

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : (There's a series of bouncing dots that disappear then start up again.)

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : How many freaked out when you let on that you knew of their secret kid?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : only one, but he misunderstood & thought i was telling him

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Keep me informed if you do anything that might make de la Vega send some squad cars over to the Apartments.

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Does he know what you did to his lawn then?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : he has no definitive proof, my friendly accomplice after so shhhh

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Definitely clearing my history.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : good to know you're morally flexible

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : 😈

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : I'm clearing that out now too.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : i do have a srs question tho

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : That's what I'm here for.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : on a scale of cry into my stale poptarts & you can do better, where are you on influencing the abysmal selection in the vending machines?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : I can look into a different selection of goods if you like. Or even choose a new vendor. What's on your vending machine wishlist?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : so glad you asked

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : ♥️♥️

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : wasabi almonds, white cheddar cheez-its, organic doritos, and some caramel corn that doesn't taste like failure

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : That's quite a list, Miss Sutton. I'll look into it.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : i have a longer one but apparentlyyyyy i'm too bossy

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : YOLO

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : (No dots of any kind. Just silence for a long moment.)

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : so you're saying ghosts are a thing now

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : shit, not for you

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : excuse me i have to smother someone

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : If you have a more detailed list, let me know. I'll come pick it up.

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Ghosts?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : (dancing dots, stop, dancing dots, stop)

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : um... you wouldn't happen to know a wine delivery service in town would you?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Of course I do. I have my bar replenished on the regular. I can give you the number.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : you're a shining star, sweet prince.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : oh, dude, did i hear more Addingtons went off a cliff? how many are there in this town? this shit is getting deep.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : but apparently ghosts are a thing, so fuck everyone, let's party like Beetlejuice

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Were those meant for me? Aside from the Sweet Prince and shining star bit?

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : i need to put my phone down in order to navigate the elevator in heels, so let's say no

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : the wine thing tho, later... ok?

(TXT to Sutton) Byron : Of course, I'll send the number along to you. Miss Sutton, thank you for your suggestions, I'll look into all of it.

(TXT to Byron) Sutton : cheers, love