2019-07-17 - TFW You Should Have Stopped At Shots

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : 🐻 🔪

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : enroute to a 10-70, so if that's code for something, spit it the fuck out

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : fuck

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : are you drunk?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : no, i meant that wasn't for you... yes

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : whose teddy bears are you stabbing

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : and why

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : that's emergency txt code for come be my naked angry Russian husband so i can get rid of this cuddler

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : I don't speak Russian, you're out of luck

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : what cuddler?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : fuck

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : that is not an answer

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : theoretical cuddler who won't leave when i theoretically cry after theoretical sex

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : what?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : is someone fucking bothering you?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : i was talking to my bartender neighbor fake Russian husband

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : is that an improperly parked vehicle or a prowler?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : the fake Russian husband?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : have you ever had a friend call you to get you out of a shitty blind date?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : no.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : wait.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : yes.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : aw, see. it's like that only after the sex you decided to have because you were SO VERY DRUNK

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : and then it's like ok leave and they want to cuddle and you have to full on fake a cry meltdown. like 60% panic leave

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : are you trying to tell me something>

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : yeah, most men are easy to get rid of 😃 but ... sometimes: TACTICAL ERROR and then you're stuck thru breakfast unless you FAKE RUSSIAN HUSBAND

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : if i'm telling you you're a dad, we both drink too much

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : shit

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : NOT FOR YOU

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : YOLO

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (dancing dots, stop, dancing dots, stop)

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (dancing dots)

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : FD's here, i've got to go

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : yeah i have to smother someone, talk later