2019-08-02 - I Messed Up

Isolde felt...interesting. There were mixed feelings as she walked back to the house with Alexander. She was happy! "I am glad you like Itzhak." A glance back over towards 15 Elm with a little grin. Though that grin faltered when she looked back to Alexander. She felt guilty too. But she didn't speak up about what she was feeling guilty about until they were back inside the house.

"I messed up Alexander." She turned to him, those wide blue eyes filled with worry.She took his wrist with her right hand, Digging in her left pocket and pulling out some loose pills. Shoving them in his hand. "The voices were too much and I was feeling all mixed up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't want these ones. I don't need them. Take them away. Please."

"He seems nice. He takes good care of his skink. It's not always a sign of a good person, but it's usually decent circumstantial evidence," Alexander says, with an air of approval. He does keep a sidelong watch on her until they're in the house. He was moving towards the sink to mop his face with a cool, wet cloth, when she turns to him. It might be a mark of his worry that he barely even flinches when she takes his wrist in her hand. Nor does he pull away, but turns his palm upward for the pills. His fingers curl slowly around them. "All right. I'll get rid of them. Isolde - you know that I don't tell you what you should do, or can do. Things happen. But," his lips press together, "I admit I don't quite understand what happened. It seemed like things were going well?"

Isolde released him when he took the pills, taking a step back as if to just put a little distance. "I don't know I just..." She closed her eyes, trying to sort out her thoughts. "So many bad things. Have been happening. To you. To the town." A little tug of her hair. "And the voices were...saying you were better off without me around. That I should leave." Her focus is downward on the floor. "And then you were dancing. With Bennie and I was...jealous." Even saying the word, admitting to the feeling she'd finally identified felt awkward. "I don't know. It was stupid. I was stupid. I shouldn't have listened. I should have stayed."

Alexander steps away when she does - although only to go to the sink and drop the pills in the garbage disposal. He turns on the water and flicks the switch. Since he's NOT affected by Gray Harbor's general air of unluckiness right now, there's just the grind of some recreational pharmeceuticals going into the municipal water supply, and not an explosion or anything else terrible. His eyes, that flat reptile stare, never leave her. "The voices are lying fuckers," he says, mildly. "Nothing that has happened to me is in any way your fault. And you've helped me. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be in jail for breaking the Captain's house with a baseball bat, or something. Or he would have kicked my ass. Or we'd have done serious damage to one another, because I don't think either of us de-escalate well." And now she knows who broke his damned door, if she hadn't figured it out before. He looks down in to the sink, idly wipes it with the cloth. "I shouldn't have gotten drunk. I make poor decisions while intoxicated. I'm sorry. For hurting you."

Isolde watches him, leaning up against the entrance and clasping her hands together. Listening quietly as he talks about the Captain. Her eyes widening a touch. "I am glad you did not do that." She murmured. Especially because he seemed like a very grumpy man from her singular interaction with him at the precinct. Isolde straightened a bit and shook her head. "No. No. Don't be sorry. I don't even know why. Why I was upset. Or jealous. I just let it get to me. And I shouldn't have." Raking her hand through her hair. "You should be having fun. Good times. That's important." She moved over to the freezer to pull out one of the pints of ice cream and started rummaging for a spoon. "I won't let them get me again."

"I am, too. I think he means well." Alexander continues to study Isolde. "I don't want you to be unhappy, you know. We're friends?" It's got that questioning lilt to it, like he's giving her a chance to retract it. "If you're hurting, I wish you'd talk to me about it, instead of..." His gaze flicks to the garbage disposal. "Even if it seems stupid. I say stupid shit all the time. I think part of being friends might be that it's okay to be stupid on occasion." An awkward shrug. He's figuring this 'friendship' crap as he goes along.

"I will try. To talk about it." Isolde promised. "Because we are friends." Reaffirming it for the both of them. "Sometimes I don't even know why things bother me." There's a wry little smile as she starts putting her hair back up in a ponytail. "It's hard to remember. Sometimes. Relying on people. That there are people to rely on." She gave a little shrug of her shoulders. And then brightened a touch. "Do you think my yellow dress will be good for a date?" With all the colorful birds on it.

Alexander sighs. "Yeah. That's something I could stand to remember myself. It's hard, isn't it? We survived, but we mostly survived alone. Hard habit to break." He offers a lopsided smile, runs his hand through his hair. Then, slowly, the smile widens as she brightens. "Yeah. I think it's pretty, and you'll knock him dead in it." He gives her an amused look. "You guys will have fun. You oughta take him to the boardwalk. Games and rides and things like that." A wave of his hand. "And if it turns out you're not having fun, you can push him off the end of a pier and make a run for it." He's joking. He's probably joking.

Isolde laughed when Alexander said she could push Itzhak off the pier if things went bad. "I would feel bad if I did that. But...it is an option." She pretended to debate on it. Or it seemed that she was pretending at least. "Boardwalk is a good idea though! Maybe the saxophone man will be playing." That idea made her grin. "I think he would like the saxophone man. Maybe they could play together sometime." More an idle musing, but the idea of Itzhak jamming out with the blind saxophone player sounded like it would be fun. A little shake of her head. "Anyway. It will be fun, yes. And if it isn't...well...I think it will be a good learning experience at least." Though Isolde still wasn't so sure this was just a whole random, once in a billion years chance that was happened. "I am going to take a shower and then try to sleep." It might be a restless night, but she'd get through it.

Isolde starts to turn back to the living room so she could grab some clothes, but pauses. "I am glad you're my friend Alexander." Giving him another smile and then retrieving some pajamas before claiming the bathroom to get ready for bed.

"Probably won't be necessary, but if it is, you know I got your back." Alexander leans forward to rest his elbows on the counter and grin, brief and bright, at her. Clearly happy to see her in a better state of mind. "There's no strings - except I guess he plays the violin, so a few strings might be involved. But just, uh, socialize. That's what Dr. Glass says, anyway." He nods to the plan for the evening. "I'm gonna do some work in the office. Don't mind me, if you can." He starts to amble in that direction, but stops at her quiet last words. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm glad that you're my friend, too. Isolde. Never doubt it." With that, he gives her a quick smile, then heads for his office.