2019-08-16 - A Deadly Quest

Indeed, Magnolia taps into her inner Dorothy: "Uh. Where the fuck--?"* She is reaching almost instantly for Kevin's hand, grasping at his wrist as she stands there, presumably without the exit door behind her to give her a gateway back to Spruce street. Her eyes flicker over the undulation of reality. Considering the warm weather outside, she feels the chill deeper through her light tunic-length t-shirt and weathered denim jeans; her sandals are a definitely terrible idea. "Alright," she says quietly. "So."

*Magnolia's inner Dorothy is a little on the vulgar side.

Kevin is not dressed for the bitter chill of winter. In fact, he's dressed for dancing on a hot late-summer night, and so when his breath fogs in front of him, his eyes widen behind the lenses of his glasses. When he isn't looking at the interior of Sneakers and the way up to Magnolia's apartment, but instead a twisted hellscape of ever-changing shadows, he chokes out, "Oh holy fuck!" and reaches out for Magnolia's hand. Not to comfort and protect her (sorry), but because he might need some comfort and protection. This, of course, means that their hands bump and twist a little as they each try to clasp the other one. Eventually they get it together. Half-spinning to look behind them, he then looks over at her, panic starting to build on his features, "Oh god, this is like a horrible Dream, isn't it? If there are Zombunnies and creepy little kids... So... wake up, wake up, wake up?"

Magnolia tries to follow the details, but then the details are moving beneath her, and she is grabbing tighter onto Kevin as she presses into his side with a widening of her eyes. "I... I don't think this is a dream, Walters." She pivots to look behind her in a constant check of reality, and then back ahead at the, um, brick squishy building. She puzzles a moment with a deep frown of her brow. "So. We go that way?" She points down the sidewalk.

When Magnolia presses into his side, Kevin wraps his arm around her shoulders -- just for steadiness under the moving sidewalk, really. It has nothing to do with the fact that nearly frozen with fear. "Um. Damn. Then. Um. Do you have any idea..." and then he stops as the sidewalk knits them to the front of the brick building, "I... I guess we -- Oh god. It's... is it quivering?" It may or may not be. "It's totally not brick." He still has some journalist's instincts, and he pulls out his phone with his free hand, taking some pictures that are going to be totally ruined because his hand is shaking. "Okay. Okay, we can do this. Um, yes. I... yeah, I guess we go that way." He takes a tentative step forward, then another, "You haven't replaced your stun gun yet, have you, Lia?"

"Where did--" Magnolia's sentence is half-formed as she points at the treasure chests, letting the mere gesture fill in the words that have tapered off. Her suspicion builds, and she is stepping aside a bit to try to get a good look at the chests from a safe distance. "Alright. Those weren't there a moment ago. We're not sleeping, so this..." She takes in a breath before she steps forward one more stride, pulling Kevin along.

"Those are totally mimics." On this, Kevin is sure and without hesitation. "They disguise themselves as treasure chests and other things like that to eat adventurers." He sounds less sure about what to do next, "Nope. They weren't. And nope..." he pinches his side and gives a little help, "...don't think we're sleeping." When she steps forward, he hangs back a little, only to be pulled along, "So um... should we make a run for inside? Or try to find another way in, or... crap. I'm doing it. This is the most horrible part of GMing, when the party can't decide what they're going to do."

"What the--" Magnolia stops dead in her tracks, and she stares at the chests. "Alright, you two... move aside." She points at both chests seriously. "We need to get through the door." She's not sure that's true, but she's going to put her foot down about this whole thing. Or she's about to get eaten, but at least she's not going to stand there and listen to two treasure chests argue about who should shut up first.

Kevin's brows draw together in a frown as he tries to catch the words that are so close to mind. But he can't quite get a handle on them, and so he reinforces Magnolia's demand, "Treasure chests don't make sense in front of a house. You should be in a final room or something. Go on, get out of here. Learn some dungeon design." And he stomps forward as well, one hand still tightly clasped with Magnolia's.

Inside his head, he's screaming, but outside... the nervous chatter has taken over.

"Whoa!" Magnolia did not expect that. But she was only just informed that Dungeons and Dragons has almost nothing to do with dungeons nor dragons. If she had known what a mimic was, she may have not been so cavalier. She is about to quip back at the Rightmimic's demand for food, but then she is distracted. "Mid-bosses? What's a mid--" And there's teeth!

"Zombunnies, noir -- I blame you for that one, Lia -- and now classic D&D monsters? Really?" Kevin lets go of Magnolia's hand, his hands curling into double-finger-guns, "Hey, back off, man! I'm serious... and you can't be mini-bosses, this is the start of the -- AUGH!" Because Leftmimic is hopping forward with nasty, sharp, pointy teeth.

Magnolia is gasping in surprise when she is being lunged at by a chest with teeth! She hurls debris from the side streets at the mimic, and while it strikes beautifully into the chest-- haha, haha-- of the mimic, it doesn't slow the monster chest as it lunges for her. She's sucking in a tight breath before she's being snacked on, and she is kicking out her legs, just as a momentary fear of death blurs her senses.

Kevin knows how fight a mimic in D&D, but in real life... it's a lot harder. His thumbs snap down, and he gives Leftmimic both barrels of telekinetic force as it comes in, "Come on then!" And then it's coming on, and he turns to start dodging, only for the thing to pounce on him, "Shit! It's got me, Lia," as he struggles to push the lid off him and get out of the mimic's maw, he glances over, only to see Magnolia's feet kick in the air, "OH SHIT! Lia! No! Goddamn it, let go of me! I'm going to kick you so hard in the stomach. AUGH! Your breath smells like ass!"

The way the chest's jaws move around her chest and belly is enough to make her scream out in shock and pain. She is writhing, and she brightens with another Glimmer attack where she throws another series of debris at the chest, this time with a bit more force in her panic and adrenaline. She is about ready to go more aggressive to get herself out of these jaws when the hit does its job, and she collapses out from that terrible maw. She's left bleeding on the ground, bruised and definitely pissed off. She flashes a terrible look at the building as the silver mustached chest comes out, and she flashes a look to Kevin. "What the hell." The opened door has her glaring at it.

Kevin does his best to slam telekinetic force into the inside of Leftmimic's mouth, "What you're eating now isn't the reason your breath smells like ass, you fucking tool! It's -- Ow! Fuck! -- what you ate before!" Nope, no awards for witty banter on either side. Especially when Kevin is spit out onto the ground and lays on his back staring up at the sky as mimic-kindling patters to the ground around him. His shoulder is bleeding from several puncture wounds, but the real problem is his head, which is bleeding profusely as headwounds are wont to do, but which has also pretty clearly given him a concussion. "Why... why is the sky spinning? And why is it all flat gray?" He rolls his head over to look at Magnolia, "Did that chest have a mustache and monocle, Lia, or did I hit my head harder than I thought?" He's... not quite ready to get up to his feet yet.

Magnolia just stares at the gaping hole of the door that leads into the building. She pivots a look to Kevin, and then she says with a sharp smile at her lips-- a sharp, mirthless smile, "There better be a fucking Save Point." Then she's pushing her hands against the ground to ease herself up to her feet. She offers Kevin a hand-up even if she's going to regret the moment there's any pressure on those wounds. Once they are both back on their feet, she starts for the door. "I really don't want to get eaten by monster luggage again," she tells Kevin.

"AUGH!" This is becoming a thing for Kevin, but in his defense, he just got spattered by mimic-phlegm. "Gross. Ow." There's a pause as he takes Magnolia's hand and uses it to help him lever himself back up to his unsteady feet, "You set up a hearthstone with the innkeeper, right?" Pause, "Because I didn't." Looking down at his finger-gun, he shakes his head, "I think I need something better than this next time." Still, he starts moving toward the door again, his steps halting and a little drunken-looking. "Remind me to buy a real gun." That probably won't help. "Remind me to save money so I can afford a real gun."

"Newbie mistake," Magnolia tells him with a bit of a wince as she keeps up with him. "You always change your heartstone at every new area." But she's too worried about her own pain and bodily injuries to go into more details. They enter the building, but Magnolia takes point. She stops in that hallway just for a second, taking in its details. She is about to say something to Kevin, ask him if he recognizes it, but then the talking mimic is back and her mouth tightens in familiar pain around her middle-- familiar because it happened two fucking minutes ago. "Uh. The Collector's Gallery?" She looks around at the displays. "Why-- are we here then?"

Kevin says, "Yup. Sorry. First time in a not-a-Dream," Kevin admits, reaching up to poke at his headwound, wince, and then peer at the blood on his fingers. "Huh." Looking up again as they approach the archway, his eyes widen, "Woah. Strange, unknowable runes, super-gallery of creatures strange and wonderful..." Magnolia asks her questions, and his eyes narrow sharply, fingerguns raising to point at FancyMimic, "One guy, one girl, Collector's Gallery of creatures strange and wonderful, we're totally not staying here, Chesty McMonocle." There's a pause, and he tries to moderate his pained tone, "But, um... taking a look around would be pretty awesome.""

Didn't defeat the guards? Magnolia narrows her eyes slightly as she continues at a wincing hobble closer to the monocled monster. She glances slightly toward Kevin, and then back toward Chesty. "You know, I bet you Kevin does know what the Beholder will do." She then is looking at the cases with a curious tilt of her chin. The screw is kind of off-putting, but the empty case and the single femur bone has her frowning. "So, where did these come from?" She gestures at the cases invitingly.

"A beholder can Charm Ray, Paralyzing Ray, Fear Ray, Slowing Ray, Enervation Ray, Telekinetic Ray, Sleep Ray, Petrification Ray, Disintegration Ray, Death Ray, or Bite Attack," Kevin rattles off without pause. Even concussions cannot hold back the geekery. Of course, Magnolia had faith in him. He relaxes his hand under Chesty's admonishment. For his part, he adds, "That screw is awesome..." he glances to Magnolia, his eyes widening slightly, and then he looks back, leaning close to the front of the empty case, "Hey, you know this one's empty, right?"

Magnolia might actually be a little proud of Kevin right there and then. It shows only in a passing, pained smile for the bespectacled man that would probably have a bit more beaming power if it wasn't more of a pale grimace. She continues along with Kevin and Chesty. The ever-so-helpful response to her question has her squinting slightly. Then she is squinting down at the empty box, and-- "A jewel? Where did it go?" Then she ventures, a bit more casually, "Stolen?"

"Well then Gary Gygax copied someone's notes badly." Kevin doesn't know if the beholder is actually a Gygax creation. Reaching up with his unbitten arm, he puts a hand to his head, trying to staunch the bleeding. The smile Magnolia flashes over at him causes him to straighten up proudly -- and promptly wince as his shoulder tugs. "That sounds awesome." There's a pause, "And you want us to find it? Who looked at it last, and who would know how to fence it?" Look, a reporter's got instincts too. "That sounds totally awesome, by the way."

"Borrowed, huh?" Magnolia sounds dubious at best. She squints at the empty case, and the little notes of being tainted, stolen, and a jewel has her brain itching. Itchy, itchy. She frowns slightly at the empty case as she whirls around those thoughts, trying to scratch at them. "Hmm. Alright." She casts a glance toward Kevin and then back to the Chesty of Chests. "What do we get if we succeed?"

"Borrowed, tainted and stolen." Kevin considers those words with a frown -- one that becomes a grimace as the expression sends blood washing over his head again. Honestly, it's a miracle his glasses stayed on through the biting and the spitting and the hitting the ground hard. "That sounds like," he glances to Magnolia, just as she looks to him, and he adds on the heels of her questions, "And what does it mean to be a Borrower and this thing isn't going to give us jewelfluenza or anything, is it?" Look, he's got a concussion, he's not tracking well.

Magnolia rolls her eyes a bit at the demanding chest. She holds her tongue, which is a miracle! She doesn't even give any indication that she's holding back either; all she does is look around the room. Then she nods her head. "I have a feeling I know where it is." Because something about a cursed purple jewel sounds awful familiar. She hooks her arm with Kevin, giving him a tug. "Come on. We're being shown out." Or at least being shown the door.

Kevin leans way back from the angry chest, wobbling a little as his balance goes a little sideways. He recovers, though, putting a hand on the wall to do so. "Wait... those are the people who borrowed the Jewel?" He points back to the empty case, then the ones that are distinctly not empty ones, looking over to Magnolia. "Uh..." his arm is hooked, and he's guided off toward the door, "You're the PI, pumpkin." He laughs a little dizzily, having pronounced the letters like the dessert not an acronym. "You know where it is? Oh man, it's totally cursed isn't it? Like the ring. And we just got roped into..." he go through the door and they're right outside Sneakers again, "...a deadly quest?"