2019-08-16 - Post Game
Itzhak and August discuss a variety of things.
IC Date: 2019-08-16
OOC Date: 2019-06-15
Location: Elm/15 Elm Street
Related Scenes: 2019-08-16 - Walking on the Beach
Plot: None
Scene Number: 1362
Itzhak had kissed Isolde goodnight at the door of number 13. He did it with ferocious restraint, keeping the kiss gentle and shallow, when what he really wants is to kiss her breathless and then bring her back to his place.
He can't. She's drunk, he's drunk, she's literally mentally disabled, his dick can wait a goddamn minute. JeeZUS.
He's not used to this kind of self-denial anymore. Maybe not ever. But definitely not anymore.
So what to do but kvetch about how blue his balls are?
Home, he strips off, showers, maybe relieves a little pressure while he's at it, oy very he hasn't jerked off this much since he was seventeen. It's not bad though. Kinda fun to do it for a reason other than general maintenance.
Then he collapses into bed, still naked and still too drunk to care that Stephanie and her chicks are upstairs.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Guess who's got two thumbs and kissed Izzy
August is feeling relatively good about things himself. He looks askance at his phone when it buzzes, smiles and laughs.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : about time
(TXT to Itzhak) August : are you going crazy now
(TXT to August) Itzhak : A little, maybe
(TXT to August) Itzhak : She had to show me in the link what she wanted
August makes a low sound. "Huh," he says, brows gathering. He hasn't, of course, spoken with her at length in any fashion.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : does she have a language processing thing going on?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Yeah...probably. She's got a lot going on. Maybe she was just shy too. I can't tell? She was pretty explicit though
August mmmmms, thinks that over a spell.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : interesting use of the link. not a bad one either.
He smiles to himself, adds:
(TXT to Itzhak) August : kind of nice when they're explicit honestly
(TXT to August) Itzhak : It was great. I told her I can't do anything else yet
(TXT to August) Itzhak : On account of we were both drunk and my sister gave me such a lecture this one time
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Even with that someone else I would have gone further probably, but not her. Need to be real sure with her.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : your sister is a wise woman and entirely correct
(TXT to Itzhak) August : drink sex can be fun but imo better for after you've been together a spell
(TXT to Itzhak) August : drunk, stupid phone
August reads that line about 'someone else' a few times. He makes a face. It takes him a while to think about how to broach the next part.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : you should think about that
(TXT to Itzhak) August : why you'd go further with him but not her
(TXT to Itzhak) August : because what she's got going on might not be the only reason
He sits on that last one a spell, finally hits send.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Jesus I don't mean Alexander I just mean anybody who wasn't brain damaged
(TXT to August) Itzhak : but
(TXT to August) Itzhak : also Alexander
(TXT to August) Itzhak : also I legit have no idea what you are trying to get at
August rolls his eyes. "Please," he mutters.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : it's true you might have a small legion of cute fascinating guys you're very into whom I don't know
(TXT to Itzhak) August : but for sake of argument let's take Alexander
(TXT to Itzhak) August : you're not into him of the same way you are her
(TXT to Itzhak) August : are you? it doesn't sound like it
"Also doesn't feel like it." He doesn't text that, though.
"What?" Itzhak mutters. "I can hear you rolling your eyes at me."
He fidgets with the keyboard a few minutes while he tries to suss out what the hell August means.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : First off there's not enough queer guys in this town for that. Second
...Second, what?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : You mean you don't think I'm as into him as I'm into her?
"Christ, tell me about it," August says if the derth of queer guys.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : other way around
(TXT to Itzhak) August : you're chomping at the bit for him
(TXT to Itzhak) August : yet here your are being careful with her making sure you do right by her
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I don't think things going on with her are the only reason for that last part
(TXT to Itzhak) August : put another way, if he'd said yes the other night, to a date
(TXT to Itzhak) August : do you think you'd have held back with him too
Itzhak types out several things, doesn't send any of them.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : if he climbed on me, no there's no way I could resist. If he just kissed me, probably I would? You know let him set the pace and all. A lot going on with him too
(TXT to August) Itzhak : He's pretty beat up inside too
August scratches at his beard. "Yeah that's just it though."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : k well just remember
(TXT to Itzhak) August : if he's ringing a bell in your head
(TXT to Itzhak) August : that might not be a good thing
(TXT to Itzhak) August : keep an eye on it
(TXT to Itzhak) August : if you can't possibly say no
(TXT to Itzhak) August : there might be a reason beyond 'because it's been months since I was properly fucked and I'm dying'
Itzhak snorts, laughing to himself.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : I went five and a half years without getting properly fucked
(TXT to August) Itzhak : that said, yeah I'm dying a little
(TXT to August) Itzhak : ok seriously though, Alexander's brain works
August sighs, rubs at his eyes. This might be one of those times he's going to have to let the car dive off the cliff, then explain why that happened after he's pulled Itzhak from the burning wreck. Sometimes that was just how it had to be.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : that is true. and honestly I'd be dying too if it had been that long.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : like we talked about the other night, just keep an eye on needy. vulnerable's fine. longing is too. needy is another story.
He looks at the other side of his bed. He hasn't moved the pillow he got out for Eleanor. "Speaking of dying," he murmurs.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : not gonna lie, my balls are so blue
(TXT to August) Itzhak : it's not that big a deal
(TXT to August) Itzhak : this word 'needy', I'm not feeling it
August eyes the most recent text. "Mmmmmmm, yeah, we never do." He resists the urge to itch at his left thigh scar, shifts uncomfortably. When will summer end.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : good. hopefully it stays that way.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : isolde's good for you, I think you can be good for her.
"Countdown to you denying that in three...two..."
Never mind that Itzhak literally thought he was being needy, a week or so ago, when he showed August via the kythe.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Idk if I can be good for her. Historically I'm not good for anybody
(TXT to August) Itzhak : really do like her tho
(TXT to Itzhak) August : pretty sure that would prove untrue if I spoke to eg. your sister, her kid(s?), etc.
August pauses a moment, then also sends:
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I know what it feels like, to think you're dead weight to the people you care about. it's pretty awful. they don't think that, though. they never will.
Sighing, Itzhak mumbles, "If you only knew, buddy."
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Kid single, that's my niece Miriam. I sent her a unicorn I won on the boardwalk
A picture comes through of a startlingly large unicorn plush, sprawled adorably, with golden hooves and horn, and pink tack covered in roses. It's sitting on the hood of Itzhak's ridiculously fancy muscle car, in Steelhead's dirt parking lot.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Booth guy gave me shit about it, hilarious
The next picture is a little girl with wild dark hair and pretty brown eyes, atop the unicorn, hugging it to death with both arms, beaming in delight.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : That's my best girl
He doesn't want to reply to August's last text, so he doesn't, at least not yet. Instead he provides pictures of his darling niece, as distraction.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : that looks you're doing pretty good for her to me! adorable girl.
After a few more seconds a pair of pictures: the first one is August with an auburn haired teen girl, tall and lanky, her curly, wild hair braided out of her face, her tawny skin dusted with freckles. She's in a baseball uniform, with a bat over her shoulder. To go by how August looks, it's a reasonably recent picture, maybe a year or so old. The second is of two younger girls, maybe early teens at best, with black, wavy hair, full and thick, cut short no doubt to manage it, in heart-shaped faces with pale skin and pale gray eyes. They look like they could be twins, though one is plainly a little older than the other. They're standing with August in front of an enormous old tree. This picture might be more like two years old, again using August's hair color as a gauge.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : eliza, and rachel & gabrielle. eliza's going to be huge. wouldn't be surprised to see her near six feet. her mom, hannah, she's almost as tall as me.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : lot of people think gabby and rache are twins but they're a year apart.
The next photo is of Isolde, beaming in delight not unlike the little girl, clutching another huge plush. This one is supposed to be some variant of tropical frog, brilliantly colored. Its body is easily as big as Izzy's torso. A disgruntled booth worker, in the background, is picking up a lot of knocked-over milk cans.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : That's the one I won for her. She's obsessed with frogs, it's unbearably cute
He grins over the picture of August with his nieces.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Great looking kids. We lucked out on the uncle thing
(TXT to August) Itzhak : I dated a girl was six feet tall for a little while, you know how many guys turned her down? crazy
August laughs under his breath and the pictures of Isolde. "You've got it bad, big guy," he murmurs. "I stand by my assessment that she's good for you."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I see I have to up my game here, all Ellie and I got were badgers.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : we sure did.
August types and deletes something several times, because he tries not to think about the dating thing, with Eliza not being white. He knows it's fraught with issues Rachel and Gabrielle won't face.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : men are idiots, we know that. why would anyone not date a woman taller than them. is some guy going to try to tell me they don't think gwendoline christie is hot because she's 6'4? I won't believe them. they'll be lying. l y i n g
Itzhak laughs, near-silent, trying not to wake anybody up.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Listen I could be five feet tall and I'd date her, what would I care, I'd be going out with Brienne she could beat up all the haters
(TXT to August) Itzhak : sidebar, I played for Izzy while she was in the hospital
(TXT to August) Itzhak : figured it'd be safe since no clothes could come off
(TXT to Itzhak) August : *exactly* well whatever weeds out some extra morons I guess, just leaves the other useless 98%...I don't envy her parents, trying to teach her how to avoid trashy guys
Then August coughs a laugh, starts typing out a response murmurs, "What makes you think..."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : why would you think being in a hospital is a deterrant to that, at all
(TXT to Itzhak) August : do you know how many long-separated couples can't wait to go home to celebrate being reunited and not dead
(TXT to Itzhak) August : (it's a non-zero positive number)
(TXT to August) Itzhak : okay well obviously that didn't happen
(TXT to August) Itzhak : I play for my sister all the time while she's in treatment so I thought Izzy would like it
Itzhak hits send before he realizes he just dropped a big fuckin' dime. He winces, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Don't, Roen, just don't," he mutters, frantically swiping.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : The point is, she loved it, and you were right
...that will distract him surely, Roen loves being right...
(TXT to August) Itzhak : She started looking at me different after that and I didn't mean for that to happen but there it is, it happened
[FS3 Rolls] <FS3> August rolls Alertness: Good Success (8 7 6 5 5 2 1)
August looks at that word, 'treatment', for a long time. He remembers, like it's a story someone told him years ago, an echoed memory between them--himself in the hospital, Zelda visiting him (she'd come every single day he was in); and someone else, Itzhak visiting them.
He sighs. Well, that's one puzzle piece. He files it away, decides to focus on what's important, which is:
(TXT to Itzhak) August : as far as I'm concerned the clothes came off metaphorically. just fyi going to count that as being right.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : less about me knowing everything, is that you were sharing something incredibly important with her at a time she needed it most. that's kind of a major thing. might not seem like it, but when you're laying there in the hospital and it's basically a fucking prison it makes such a difference.
Itzhak sighs. He wants to tell him. They've been intimate in ways both regular and weird. Maybe he should. What could it hurt? It doesn't mean Roen's going to get mixed up in anything. Right?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Izzy doesn't have anybody, no family, nothing
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Except Alexander
(TXT to August) Itzhak : And me now I guess
(TXT to August) Itzhak : So it's worse for her, you know? I had to do something. Playing violin is pretty much what I can do
Pause.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Naomi has cancer
August sighs. As badly as he hadn't wanted Hannah and Zelda to see him in the hospital, he'd never have made it through all those weeks without them. Goddamn.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : good thing you did, then. I can't imagine going through that alone.
He thinks really hard aobut the next part. Except, Eleanor came out to see him in his cabin in the forest, a place she only knew to fear, because he'd been recovering. The least he could do is try.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : next time you need to visit someone, let me know.
Then he gets the next text.
"Christ, Itzhak." He rubs at his face, stared out over the loft. He murmurs, "Whatever dragged you out here had to be serious, taking you away from that."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : shit, I'm sorry. cancer's the gd worst. she doing okay with her chemo?
The photo of Naomi must be a few years old, as Miriam is a toddler grasping her finger. She looks nothing like Itzhak, amusingly; she's delicate and beautiful, and her thick, long hair is dark brown and wavy. No sign of the famous nose, hers is petite. They're at a park, and Itzhak is in this one, lounging disreputably on a nearby bench and looking exactly like he always does: like attitude stacked six feet high. He's looking at the camera past Naomi and Miriam, his expression sour and suspicious.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Her scumbag ex took that picture, that's why I'm glaring, hate that guy
Itzhak doesn't respond to the question right away. He rubs his eyes, turns to flop on his side. How much lying does he want to do?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : She does good with it, the doctors say it's because she's so young, she can take it
There, that's not a lie.
"Another question answered," August says into the quiet of his cabin.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I was going to ask what that camera did to you in a past life. that makes more sense. figures when they're needed most they turn out to be useless shitbags.
"Also makes me wonder what dragged you out here, if she doesn't have a spouse worth a damn..."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : that's good to hear. hope that keeps up. the more they can give her the more likely it is to fuck off for good.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : how's Miriam doing with it
He wonders if he can ask how Itzhak is doing with it. Will he get a real answer? He's not sure they're up to that yet.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : She sees a therapist. I didn't know there were therapists for little kids. They meditate apparently. And color
(TXT to August) Itzhak : She's tough as nails, boy let me tell you. A real New York Jew. A lot sweeter than most of us though
(TXT to August) Itzhak : We have a lot of family in the city, so there's always someone to watch her and cousins to rampage around with
(TXT to August) Itzhak : So...I wouldn't say she's doing great, but it could be worse
Itzhak hesitates to type more. Should he?
Why is he even asking himself that? It suddenly seems stupid. This is August. He let the guy into his mind. August saw parts of him nobody ever could before. August settled his meltdowns more than once. What can't he tell him? (Emotionally, anyway.)
Nothing. This is ridiculous.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : I miss them bad
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Izzy said she hopes I can visit them soon and I had to change the subject before I started bawling
"Meditate? Huh." August thinks about that, shrugs. Well, why not, if you can get them to sit still. Coloring, that seems more likely.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : good. helps to have them close at a time like this. she needs people, so does her mom. so do you, it's good you've got Izzy and the rest of us.
He wants to ask it ('why the fuck are you out here, again?') but knows, instinctively, that he shouldn't. Not with Itzhak admitting to wanting to cry about being asked to visit. Instead:
(TXT to Itzhak) August : can you not go visit them? take a week to fly back?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : No reason why not, I guess, other than people I care about out here keep landing in the hospital or getting bit in half by worms
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Obviously you can't survive without me
(TXT to August) Itzhak : We text and I talk to them a couple few times a week so Mireleh remembers she has an uncle
(TXT to August) Itzhak : I even miss the way New York sounds, isn't that weird. It's so quiet out here
(TXT to August) Itzhak : When Alexander suddenly bust out with Yiddish, couldn't hardly take it. I asked him if he'd speak it more to me and he said yes
August rolls his eyes dramatically
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I'm going to be hearing about that for the next forever aren't I.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : first time I have to heal you back from the brink of death, after I'm done throwing up, I'm going to give you shit about it for a week, minimum.
"Not as weird as you'd think," August says.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : I miss the sound of the rain forest all the time, makes sense you'd miss the city. didn't want to make that drive, though, not every damned day. got used to it down here but it took a while.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : you can, though. go visit. teach Izzy how to take care of your snake and lizard. we'll try not to die while you're gone.
On the topic of how Alexander speaking Yiddish to Itzhak is going to turn out not unlike playing violin for Isolde, August says nothing. He's resigned to that car needing to go off the cliff.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : is that just something he can do now? speak whatever?
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Eh I'll think about it
Itzhak's expression is as ambivalent as his text, in the glow of the phone.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : yeah, he says he can now, ever since he drank that chazerai. So I need to try it
(TXT to August) Itzhak : kidding
(TXT to August) Itzhak : mostly
(TXT to Itzhak) August : do. you need them and they need you. I might not be able to live near my sisters and their kids but I know it. from a hundred or a hundred thousand miles away I'd know that.
"Oh don't you even think about it."
(TXT to Itzhak) August : my scientific training tells me this is way too small of a sample size with no control group so it can't be taken as anything but correlative evidence, at best, and at worst, pure coincidence.
(TXT to Itzhak) August : at any rate there HAS to be a better way to amp your power than drinking yourself blind on drilling lubricant ffs
(TXT to Itzhak) August : anyways if I have to heal a hangover like that off you I'm going to make YOU take care of me afterwards
God, does he need them. Itzhak closes his eyes with the pain of how badly he needs them, one hand pressing over his heart, over his tattoo. Unbreakable.
(TXT to August) Itzhak : science, schmience, this is Gray Harbor
(TXT to August) Itzhak : Now quit keeping me up, will ya
(TXT to Itzhak) August : mmmmhmmm honey okay
(TXT to Itzhak) August : sweet dreams :*
Tags: august itzhak social