2019-09-06 - ~ I Google You ~

(TXT to Love) Carver : So I googled you today.

(TXT to Carver) Love : if you send me song lyrics, I swear

(TXT to Love) Carver : I was more impressed with the webring (they still exist, apparently?) community convinced this young surfer had to give it all up because of a crippling heroin addiction.

(TXT to Carver) Love : oh fucks sake. You really meant me me. what’s a web ring?

(TXT to Carver) Love : classy. heroin.

(TXT to Love) Carver : Fuck I feel old. A network of websites that link to each other.

(TXT to Love) Carver : You'd think they'd have settled on meth, really.

(TXT to Carver) Love : meth? damn. let’s be real, it woulda been painkillers & booze & molly. ... um isn’t that just like... websites?

(TXT to Love) Carver : Yeah but owned by idiots rather than rich people. Like facebook but with a yawning void instead of aunt susan.

(TXT to Carver) Love : let’s pretend I understand and move on to I really hope my students don’t dig that deep.

(TXT to Love) Carver : Dig that deep? Pet, it was the second page of google results for 'Love Covey Liven Surfing'

(TXT to Love) Carver : Okay, second page, four website links in, and using a rollback cache to pull up a long-dead site BUT, STILL.

(TXT to Carver) Love : well shit. so much for that

(TXT to Love) Carver : My point with all this is I get easily bored and distracted when all I have to stare at in my dining room is a bare. white. wall.

(TXT to Carver) Love : that was suuuper subtle. I saw some THINGS tonight. amateur night at the Platinum. didn’t 🍸 enough either. just got in and my motel room smells like bleach and cedar chips.

(TXT to Love) Carver : I just spent four hours wrapping eggs in increasingly large amounts of newspaper wrapping to see how many sheets it took to protect them from breaking when dropped off my second floor landing.

(TXT to Love) Carver : In short, if I order you a ride, you could get here just as takeout arrives and not have to smell bleach.

(TXT to Carver) Love : oh food. magic word. I was looking at a vending machine full of stale candy bars trying to decide if whole peanuts are healthier than peanut butter.

(TXT to Carver) Love : well how many sheets?

(TXT to Love) Carver : I don't know I was working one sheet at a time and ran out of eggs. You gonna want a shower before the ride arrives?

(TXT to Carver) Love : yeah dude I smell like beer and tequila. 20 minutes.

(TXT to Love) Carver : Thank fuck, gives me time to clean up eggs.

(TXT to Carver) Love : you’re a mess, my friend 🤣

(TXT to Love) Carver : Maybe, but I'm a mess who just ordered food.

(TXT to Carver) Love : indeed you are. & this is why our friendship works. messy, but in possession of snacks

(TXT to Love) Carver : damnit. Only appreciating my company for the food? It's school lunches all over again.

(TXT to Carver) Love : why did you trade good stuff for soggy sandwiches?

(TXT to Love) Carver : just to have the popular kids interact with me, yeah.

(TXT to Carver) Love : you don’t seem the type ... unless there was a girl.

(TXT to Love) Carver : I'm kidding. My da wouldn't know how to make a good school lunch if his life depended on it. Go shower, bring drink. All I've got is that scotch. And root beer. And far too much milk.

(TXT to Carver) Love : coke & bourbon? 🥃

(TXT to Love) Carver : if you mix coke with my good bourbon I will pretend to be offended while not actually caring.

(TXT to Carver) Love : good to know I can smell a fib in text still. mine either btw. once sent me to school with a jar of pb & sleeve of crackers.

(TXT to Carver) Love : I didn’t think you meant to mix milk & root beer

(TXT to Love) Carver : you got a WHOLE SLEEVE?!

(TXT to Carver) Love : yeah but half was stale

(TXT to Carver) Love : ok brb 🚿

(TXT to Love) Carver : jealous.

(TXT to Carver) Love : oh warm some milk. vending machine has hot cocoa. mini marshmallows. 🤟🏻