2019-09-16 - Call me Crazy Clayton

It seems that Eli is about as talkative in his text messages as he is in person. They would have been short and sweet when he sent them to Alexander. Eli mentioned he was hiking around town and was planning to stop in at Espresso Yourself. If Alexander wanted to join it would be nice to see him.

Whether or not he was going to get company out of the deal, Eli was still going to get coffee. He'd gotten himself a cup and settled down at a table toward the corner to stare down at his phone and ignore most of the world around him. He looks different than the last time Alexander saw him. Not vastly different - but as much as a few weeks of letting his beard grow out can change a man. His hair was already long, but he hasn't cut that either and allows it to fall back rather than being combed and controlled with product. He's wearing jeans and a simple grey short sleeved shirt.

Looks like Eli hits the jackpot. At least where 'jackpot' means being rewarded with the dubious benefit of Alexander's company. He also looks a little different - as if he's been getting into better shape (although a lot is obscured by the bulky army surplus jacket he's wearing) and he got a haircut that makes him look less like a hobo. He pauses inside the door, scanning the coffee shop with a frown, then nodding at Eli when he sees him. He goes to get his coffee first - it's just a plain black cup, so that's fast. Then takes a seat at the table, across from Eli. "Hey," he says, with the faintest of smiles. "It was good to hear from you." A glance at the man's new growth. "You look different."

"You too." Eli replies, lifting his fingers and touching his own hair to indicate his appreciation for Alexander's new non-hobo style. He pats his beard before dropping his hand back toward his coffee. "Took a week or so out of town and didn't bother much with shaving. Not sure I'm entirely sold on it, but Eve likes it - so will stick it out for awhile."

His eyes move around Alexander's face while he speaks and the familiar tension is in his body language, but maybe not quite as bad as it had been historically. Fingers wrap around the handle of his mug and he raises it up to take a sip, followed by a deep breath.

"I'm glad you could come over. People are usually busy when I text them with fifteen minutes notice. Not always the best at arranging plans ahead of time, though." A fraction of a smile. "Had been hoping to talk sometime when I'm not being assaulted with a stick or camera." He looks toward the door as if afraid Duncan may appear at any moment.

"Eve?" Alexander watches him with that flat stare, taking in the tension with interest. He takes a long sip of his drink, thinks about it. "Not a bad time for a trip out of town, at that. More bodies dropping than anyone's really comfortable with," he admits, in a dry sort of tone.

His gaze skitters away, watching patrons, staff, and anyone who walks in or out of the door. But at the mention of the various 'encounters' the poor man has had with Duncan, his expression lightens with a brief almost-smile. "Sorry. About the, ah, assaults. I don't think they mean more than the usual sort of harm. They're sort of excitable." He shakes his head a little. "I took them up on their invitation and had a bunch of marbles dumped on me. But, uh, how are you?"

"Genevieve. My, ah, girlfriend." Eli says the last word as though it tastes a bit sour to be using as a thirty something year old man. "She owns and runs the pot store on Elm, if you've seen it." He shrugs the topic away, his expression shifting to something a bit darker, eyes narrowing in a way that puts shadows beneath them. "Yeah. The news has been grim. Not that this place is ever one for cheerful headlines, but I feel like the last month has been worse than usual. Especially for summer time." This was supposed to be the happy time of year.

"I'd call you foolish to accept any sort of invitation from them, but I don't think that would be polite? It's still what I'm thinking on the inside though." Shh. Don't tell anyone. "Seems like it could have gone worse."

He sighs and drinks his coffee again. The seconds pass and this seems to make Eli more comfortable with his tablemate. "I'm doing as well as can be expected around here, Alexander. I wanted - hoped - to talk to you more because of things you've said. Nothing in particular. You talk more openly about what happens here than many." A pause, adding: "And glow like a small sun."

If Alexander thinks the word is a bit odd for a thirty something, he doesn't say anything about that, just adds, in almost conspiratorial tones, "Isabella cut my hair for me. Because she felt I needed it. It takes out a lot of the second-guessing about whether she'll like it." There's humor that's more about the way his eyes crinkle just a little at the edges than a smile. And even that fades. "Yeah. But this summer has been strange. Stranger than usual. It hasn't felt like summer." Maybe that's why he's in the big ol' jacket.

There's actually a rusty sort of laugh at the next comment. "You can call it that. It wasn't one of my wisest moments. But better to make friends than keep enemies, right? And who am I to pass judgment on others' eccentricities?"

When the silence comes, he relaxes into it. Clearly not one of those people who feels the need to fill it with small talk, although his stare remains direct and unflinching. And when Eli talks again, he nods, without much hesitation. "That's why they call me Crazy Clayton." It's very dry. "One reason among many. And you see it as a glow? Interesting. Some hear it as a song, or as glitter, or colors. For me, people like you just...stand out. Like the rest of the world fades away."

The tone of voice and the comment disarms Eli for a moment, clearly caught by surprise. He gives a quiet laugh, a proper smile curving his lips and a dip of his eyes toward the table. He shakes his head. "See. One moment I call you a fool and then you're bringing wisdom like that to the table, Alexander. I'm not going to know what to think. It looks good, though. She clearly knows what she's doing."

His coffee is left abandoned a few inches away while he twines his fingers together and raises blue eyes back up to watch Alexander intently in return. This directness and eye contact seems to suit him - though perhaps with most people it would be considered too much. It's supposed to be a balance and he often lacks balance in social interactions. All or nothing.

"I don't know the best word for it. I think of it as a glow. But it's not really a glow that would light a dark room. But something that almost radiates from people. What you see it as might describe it even better. You make an impact in the room and my eyes are drawn." Eli shrugs, perhaps not thinking the details matter so much. Do we all see the same colour when we call something red?

"Do they call you that?" Clearly Eli didn't know. "You don't seem crazy. That either means you hide it well or I'm just as mad."

"How does the quote go? I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here?" Alexander gives an easy sort of shrug. "I try not to pass judgement regarding sanity. Unqualified. But...that's an interesting way to put it. Yes. It's hard to say how much we're all just using different words for the same thing, or if we actually see it differently." A pause for coffee and thought. "Mm. Well. Those who have somatic or audio components to it probably are perceiving something in a different way. If I were more of a scientist, I might try to figure out the nuances. As it is, it's enough to know that people who...stand out can identify others who do." His voice is low and soft, clearly meant not to travel far, although he doesn't seem particularly more paranoid than usual by the idea that it might. "Goes beyond that, too. I've found. Like, I can tell that you probably can do things like I can do, and that we're about as...adept as each other in that area. Seems like everyone picks up on different pieces of possibility, though. It's not like there's an instruction manual."

A sudden smile. "Unfortunately." Another drink. "But, is that what you wanted to talk about?"

It's a quiet conversation. Eli often speaks quietly and today is no exception to that. Someone would have to be going to a lot of trouble to determine what's being said at that table. And are two town eccentrics really that interesting?

"It is what I wanted to talk about. At least in part." Eli admits after listening very intently to the little lesson that Alexander gives, nodding along with the words and finally taking up his coffee again for another sip. "I've spent most of my life with the mindset that this was all best dealt with apart from the rest of the community. I'm sure I'm not the first one to isolate myself after unexplainable things begin to happen to them. I've been here my entire life, so I'm not entirely naive by this point, but more than I should be. I've learned a lot about myself but little about the general."

He settles the mug back down and continues to watch Alexander again. "You say there's no instruction manual. I wish there was and wonder why there isn't. So, it wasn't that I had something very particular I wanted to speak about. More that I think we have a mutual interest. I'm at a disadvantage, of course. I think it has been your interest for much longer."

Alexander smiles, faintly. "I don't mind. Talking." He looks down at his coffee cup. "And I can understand that. Until the last few months, I didn't really...talk...to anyone, if I didn't have to. And when I was a kid, people were less than helpful." Dry understatement there. His eyes flick up. "I don't know if it's possible to make an instruction manual. I feel like we all focus differently. Resonate in different ways, even if the outcome is similar. But other people can help. At least to reassure you that," a long pause, "that things are real. It's not just you. And," his lips twitch upwards in a smile, "my interest is mostly crime. This thing that we can do, it's a tool. Sometimes a complication. But yeah, it's interesting, at least." He taps on the table top with his fingertips for a moment. "How long have you...uh." A tilt of his head towards the other man's head.

"Even a collection of ideas would be something worth looking at. I've heard some wildly different ideas from different people. They might be true. Or partially so." Eli shrugs, leaning back a bit in his seat. "I know it's a tool. Crime has never been a focus of mine, but I could see how it would be useful. You have a stronger will than I do, Alexander. I don't believe I could bring myself to feel what has happened at those scenes. I can't box it as the emotions of another. I can't say this is the terror that someone else felt and hope to keep that from my real emotions. They blend together and it makes a mess." He watches the other man with some obvious respect at being able to balance that.

"How long since - I started? I was a kid. Teenager. Turned it into a tool as well when I figured out how easily language came to me. A lot easier than playing with raw emotion all the time." Eli gives a quiet laugh. "Much of the reason I kept to myself. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir in many ways."

Alexander chuckles. "I don't always. I mean. Read crime scenes. Most of what I do, I do without using those abilities - that wasn't always true, but it is these days. Reading something might give me a lead when I don't have any others, but...I feel like if I can follow a mundane trail, then I should." He takes a sip of his drink. "Both because, yeah, it's not fun to relive someone getting the skull caved in, but also because what we find isn't proof to anyone except us. Which is nice, but not really useful." There's a wry twist of his lips. "And I'm not very good at closing things off. Sometimes it's overwhelming. So don't look at me like that; I've just gotten used to living with the fact that I'm unstable."

He looks intrigued as Eli goes on. "You can do the language thing? I just started. After getting...massively drunk on terrible alcohol, actually. And now I understand Spanish. And Yiddish." His face splits into a grin. "It is absolutely the best thing these damned abilities have ever given me. And you've been able to do it for years?"

"It's how I pay the bills." Eli says, though is expression is openly curious at the idea that Alexander had just started down that path. "I was still in high school when I realized how easy languages were coming to me. Like, almost any language I put some effort into. And when I say effort it was mostly online language courses. I didn't actually quite realize that it was related to the other things I could do at first - until I heard a language I'd never studied and still was able to partially understand it."

He makes a small gesture toward Alexander. "This is interesting. To me, at least. Could you not do it, or had you just not realize it? Like anything, I'm sure we all have a different grasp on these 'talents'. Able to control different parts of what we can do to various degrees." Eli chuckles and takes up his coffee again. "I could likely talk all day about it, and I'm not known for being so talkative. But, I don't want to keep you from the rest of your day."

"I'd ask one more thing, though. Do you think that using your tools makes things worse?" He makes an expansive gesture to include all around. "Whatever it is here that ... watches us." There is a heaviness on the word watches as though that's not nearly a strong enough word for what happens in Gray Harbor.

"Fascinating." Alexander leans forward a little, his dark eyes gleaming. "I don't think I could do it. I've gotten stronger. As I've grown up. There are other things that I can do now that I'm sure I couldn't do before - although I've always been...better, I think, than most people who have my kind of abilities." A grimace. "Which is not a blessing when you can't control what you have." He shakes his head. "I won't impose, of course. But my schedule tends to be rather flexible."

He nods at the 'one more thing'. Then he breathes out at the question. "Yeah." A pause. "Sort of. It attracts bad attention. My nightmares get worse, and I'm more likely to get lost, if I'm doing things a lot. It's another reason I try to not over-rely on them. There are ways to divert that attention, apparently, but they're...bad ways." He stares into his coffee cup. "Have you gotten lost? Um. I think some people call it a Dream. Found yourself in some place that isn't real, but is still real?"

"Without comparing myself to others I didn't really realize. I knew what I can do, but I didn't have much idea of the levels. It is more clear with those that have the more physical talents. I can lift a knife. But, others can lift cars. That is a scale that's easier to understand." Big. Small. Hard to deny.

Both of Eli's hands curl around his mug and he leans slightly forward in his seat to listen to Alexander's answer to the last question. His eyes close briefly and he simply nods before opening them again. "Lost. I don't think I've heard it called that. I've said Dream, though it's not a Dream. Yeah. I've had times in my life where I feel like I've been lost more often than not. Other times I seem to be mostly left alone." He lifts that coffee but he doesn't actually drink from it, just taking comfort from it in his hands. "It has happened at times when I don't use my power. And times when I do. I don't believe stopping would prevent the Dreams. Maybe I draw enough attention whether I do or don't."

His head tilted a fraction at the idea of ways to divert the attention, but he doesn't voice any question about it. Just tucked away for now.

"That's always what I thought of it as. Lost. And you have to find your way back before...terrible things happen." Alexander shrugs. "It's been happening to me since I was a child, so I sort of developed my own vocabulary for it, I guess. As you say - when you're alone, you don't realize what parts of your experience might be shared, or which ones are unique. I've only started to really think I'm not crazy in the last couple of months." A cynical half-smile. "Jury's still out."

He takes a deep breath, lets it out. "But it's good to talk to people. About things. I've learned a fair amount. Some that I maybe don't like knowing...but I'd rather know than not. Curiousity, I guess."

"Much like yourself, I'm not in much of a position to judge. Not sure whether the town thinks I'm crazy, but I'm sure they have some less than charitable thoughts. Ghosting around your entire life gives people a bad impression." Eli shrugs. "Still time to change that."

"I'm not good at approaching people. I didn't know how this conversation would go - despite understanding that we had plenty of common ground. You'd think someone unnaturally empathetic would be better around people." Nope. "This has been good though. Good to actually meet you, Alexander. And to discuss some of this. Hopefully we can do it again. Even if it's just to talk about more mundane things."

"I don't have a lot of friends in town."

Whether or not a few chance meetings and a cup of coffee makes for a friendship or not is open to interpretation.

Alexander snorts. "I wouldn't think that at all, considering." He meets the other man's gaze steadily. "Being able to feel what other people feel, or even being able to change it...it doesn't make you better able to deal with it. Especially when what someone feels, and what they say don't match up very often. But it's been nice to meet, and talk with you, without, uh, distractions." Without certain camper people banning poor Eli from places and poking him with sticks.

He finishes off his coffee. "Maybe you have one more, Eli. We should do this again." There's a real smile on his lean features, if only for a moment. "If you feel like meeting other people, maybe we can invite a third or something, too. If not, that's fine." He stands up. "Just don't die out there." Then he goes to toss his trash and slouch his way out of the shop.

"I could handle a couple more, I think. Start small, work your way up." Eli says, watching Alexander get up from his seat and giving a quick smile to the man.

"Thanks, Alexander. Take care of yourself. You now how to reach me if you need anything." He lifts his coffee mug to toast the departing man.