2019-10-05 - Don't Die. Also Don't Kill

Alexander has August's cabin to himself. It's a strange feeling, to be alone in a territory that isn't 'his'; it's a wrongness that he feels in a primal part of him. But, at the same time, it's good to be alone, out this far, free from the pressure of the town's minds.

Even so, he eventually breaks off from his research, and settles in on the futon, pulling out his phone and finding Itzhak's number. He promised to check in, after all. He sends a message as he curls up on the bed that's only just starting to feel a little bit familiar.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Itzhak.

Itzhak had submitted with ill grace to not driving himself home. The poor doctor assigned to him had his number and a knack for Jewish guilt; 'so go ahead, when you wind up back in the ER once you wrap your penis extension car around a tree, we'll reminisce about the good old days when you could have listened to me'. It was unprofessional but highly effective. Stephanie drove him home, then had to distract Hunter to let Itzhak escape.

When Alexander texts him, he's cuddling Iris and laying on the couch. She's sprawled on his chest, ruffly blue tongue flicking out every few seconds. This is as excited as Iris gets. Itzhak picks up his phone and squints at it. Oh! A real smile, the first in days, appears on him. One-handed, he thumbs out a reply.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : hi there!

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Hello. You are typing like you're feeling better. Are you? You're in the hospital?

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Just got out. Are you okay? Is Izzy okay?

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : My fever broke. I think Isolde is still in the hospital. I can't go there right now, but it's a safe place for her to be. I'm at August's.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Oh shit, she is? I literally just left I had no idea

Can Alexander feel Itzhak's anxiety spinning up from there? Probably!

Alexander frowns. He doesn't have to be able to reach with his mind to feel that - he knows Itzhak well enough at this point. Maybe. He shifts on the futon and ponders the screen for a moment, before typing.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : What room is she in

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Does she like flowers? This is the kind of thing you'd think I would know by now

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : She is. It's okay. It's the flu, but that's a good place for her to be to take care. Room <<insert room number here>> last I checked.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I think she'll like you. Whatever you bring will be a welcome bonus.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : So definitely flowers. When she was in before I played for her, she loved that. The nurses all want to know where my violin is now. Maybe I'll bring it too. You sure you're okay? After

...pause...

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : you know, with Roen

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I'm okay. Are YOU okay? You and Javier seemed to take the worst of it, in some ways.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I think the violin would be lovely.

tzhak sniffs, thinking. Iris slowly oonches up his chest to lay against his throat like a scaly stole. "Agh," he says, absently prying her off his windpipe.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : yeah, fine. Mostly fine. Little beat up, you know how it is

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : maybe you don't. Do you know how it is? Well its like that.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : also I kind of can't believe you call him Javier.

Alexander has a rueful smile when he reads the text. Amusingly, this latest spate of fever dreams haven't physically wounded him as much as one might expect. Or at all. It's an odd sensation to be one of the healthier people running around at the moment. And, of course, a part of him coolly calculates the options that opens for him. If he wanted to kill people.

Which he doesn't intend to do.

But if he wanted to. He shakes his head briefly, and concentrates on the texts. His brow furrows.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I know how it can be. I haven't been hurt much this time around. And why? It's his name. He has a good number of names.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : he's not a first name basis kind of guy. Maybe that's just with me. He came to see me btw. He gave me a book. If he's not careful I'm going to start to like him

Alexander's furrowed brow is joined by a frown. For a moment he contemplates - it'd look like an electrical accident. Wherever Itzhak is, there has to be an outlet or a power line nearby. If his abilities would cooperate, it wouldn't take a lot of effort to just catch the other man by surprise. Especially from this distance.

In the next moment, he feels shame for the thought, and there's a long pause as he puts the phone down and takes a deep breath. He hums a few beats of a song to himself, before picking the phone back up and texting back.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : He's pretty likable, under all the snarling. I'm glad he came to visit you. What book?

In town, Itzhak is blissfully unaware of Alexander's impulses. As far as he's concerned, he's chatting with his weirdo buddy, who he also has a crush on, and that is news to neither of them and all is well. He strokes Iris's supple, pebbly hide and texts away cheerfully.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : The Little Prince. I never read it before. Just missed it somehow.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I've never read that one, either. It's...the French story? Isn't it?

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Yeah. Don't read it in front of anybody you don't want to see you crying

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I don't really read a lot of fiction. But I'll assume you mean good tears.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : I always forget that. You should read more fiction, man. It's good for your soul. You ever read The Last Unicorn? You want you should start there

Another of those longer pauses, while Alexander drums his fingers on his thigh and tries to figure out how to explain a frankly irrational thought process to a friend. No good strategy comes to mind, and he sighs before he picks up the phone again.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : That's your favorite, isn't it? What do you love best about it?

Now it's Itzhak's turn to pause and rap his fingers on his thigh in a quick rhythm.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : You know, it's real tough to explain. Just some books have souls. Some books, some music. That's one of them. It's kinda like its own symphony. All that said, the magician is named Schmendrick and I always related to him a little too much

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I'm not sure I understand. But I'll give it a try, one of these days. Once this whole mess has calmed down a little. Then we can talk about Schmendrick?

Oy, this whole mess. Itzhak sighs, rubs Iris on the flat scales atop her head. She tilts her head at him, staring with one amber eye. Just like Alexander. The thought makes him smile.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Don't let me hassle you about it. I'm pushy. It's one of my many charms.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : It is. 🙂

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : ugh, don't agree with me!

It would be so easy to reach out and hit Itzhak with discharge from one of the outlets nearby. Then he wouldn't talk about almost liking Ruiz or Ruiz giving him a book that made him cry. He'd literally never know what hit him. Because it just doesn't occur to him that Alexander would do that kind of thing. Ever.

He sees Alexander as someone who wouldn't hurt him. It'd be so easy.

It's a weird thing, to sit in a cozy house (even if it's not YOUR house), chatting with a friend that you feel genuine warmth and affection for...but, at the same time to be idly thinking about killing him.

It's actually not a sensation that Alexander is unfamiliar with, even outside of Gohl's influence, but it does tinge everything with a certain sort of moral freedom, like whatever excuses he usually tells himself about why he can't or he shouldn't just don't matter. But when he reads the text from Itzhak, Alexander smiles and it's a genuine sort of smile, because he can hear Itzhak's voice in the words, and see a picture in his head of the man that has nothing to do with mental powers. And he's happy he's in the world, at least for the moment. So he types, not zaps.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : If you don't want to be agreed with, you shouldn't say agreeable things. You have many charms, and your enthusiasm is one of them. It's not a bad thing.

Itzhak laughs under his breath. This week has sucked, but this right here? This ain't so bad. He's home, he's snuggling Iris, he's talking to Alexander and Alexander is teasing him about being charming. He's not even angry at anything, for the moment, yet. Soon he'll go see Isolde and soon she'll be better and soon Billy Gohl will be in the ground.

Not bad.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Stop being reasonable, it's too cute. August's place is great, isn't it? You coming home soon?

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : I can't help but be reasonable. I think August has an actual aura. And it's very nice. I like the goats, and the ducks, and August, and even the geese. And I want to go home. But I can't.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : You can't? Why not

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Because I've already tried to kill two people, and I'd really rather not succeed. And another friend is crashing at my place, and they do not need me there. Not when I'm like this.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : oh, shit, what? seriously? is it because of Gohl?

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Yeah. I mean. It's because of me. But Gohl makes it harder not to do it. I set Kelly's gym on fire, nearly fried him. Then tried to talk Javier into killing himself. Why did you think I was at August's?

Itzhak's eyes go wide. His hand goes still on Iris.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Thought the gym was from a short. Guess Kelly covered up for you

His texting is nonchalant, but on the inside, Itzhak is freaking out a little bit.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Yeah. He did.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : [dots dots dots] okay...I'm not gonna lie, the part about de la Vega is fucked up.

Alexander looks at the text. And then he laughs. And it's probably a really good thing that no one else is in the cabin, because it's the sort of laugh that's got more than a bit of a scream to it. And it ends on something that's a bit too much like a sob.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Yes. Kind of fucked up.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : It's not you though. It's Gohl being a shithead

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : It is me, Itzhak. The anger takes the...brakes off. But the methodology and the action is me.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : You LIKE Kelly. you just feel like that right now because gohl is telling you you feel like that.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : You seem to suggest that liking someone and wanting to kill them are mutually exclusive. They're not.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : I'm the last guy on earth to deny that, but maybe you think these are extenuating circumstances? just a little?

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : No, not really. I'm aware there's outside influence. But I'm also aware that others have the same influences and aren't trying to kill people. Even if they want to.

That's...actually very logical. Itzhak makes a face at his phone. Logical, and yet, wrong. How is it wrong? He can't articulate it to himself, but he knows it is. It just is, okay?

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : You're not worried you'll hurt Roen though

Alexander stares at the text. Groans. His gaze strays over to the kitchen, with its lovely collection of knives. Would it be creepy to point out that while doing dishes he's taken care to find and catalogue every single one of them? Probably. That would probably be creepy.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : Yeah, Itzhak. I am. But he's a healer. If he really needs to, it only takes a small cut to open an artery.

That's also very logical. "Glad to see you thought this out," Itzhak mutters.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Yeah. True. Please don't die, and also please don't kill Roen. If you could manage to not do those things I'd appreciate it

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : He's not here, so it's fine. He can't upset me if I don't talk to him, and it's harder to kill someone from a distance, anyway.

(TXT to Itzhak) Alexander : At any rate, I should get to bed. It was good to hear from you, Itzhak. Stay okay. Just a few more days.

(TXT to Alexander) Itzhak : Few more days, you bet. We're gonna get through this. Rest up, tateleh