2019-11-02 - The (Pumpkin) Spice Must Flow

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : babe i need a pumpkin spice latte

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : A what?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : a pumpkin spice latte. i need it.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : The fuck is that

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : find a coffee shop and order a basic white girl.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : You do know the kind of shit I'd get as a Latino man uttering those words

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Seriously though. what the fuck is a pumpkin spice latte

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : it's a fucking latte with pumpkin pie spices in it and it tastes like pie and i need it and why are you not just getting it for me jesus

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : How can a fucking latte taste like pie? it's coffee, milk and sugar

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Also I didn't hear a please

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : if you want to hear a please, you know where to put your mouth.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : You're the one who needs the pumpkin spice tastes like pie except it totally fucking doesn't because that's fucking ridiculous latte

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : omfg you're supposed to badge your way to the front of the line and bring me my latte before i use my baseball bat on this vending machine that took my last dollar and will not give me a kit kat

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Badge my way to the front of the line. Did you just make that up?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Why the sudden need for junk food at ass o'clock

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : have you never badged to the front of the line? omg who even are you?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : i had a fucked up dream and now i need sugar right damn now

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : A morally principled officer of the law

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (bouncing dots)

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (bouncing dots)

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : bebe are you okay?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (bouncing dots)

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : dropped my phone

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : What's going on. what kind of dream?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : if i'm pregnant, you're getting a vasectomy

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (more bouncing dots)

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : You said you were on birth control what the fuck

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : it was... like Mario Kart but the chef from my building was in it and we smoked everybody else and then i got smashing pumpkin'd. he beat me by a kart length. now i'm hostile & i need a latte.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : do not what the fuck me. that shit isn't ever 100% effective and i am

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : What does that have to do with

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : You are what

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : taking birth control

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : What does that have to do with your messed up dream? And what chef?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : the last time i had cravings this bad i was pregnant and you never bitched this much about the pineapple ice cream i wanted

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (after a long pause) You're right, I'm sorry. it's been a fucked up night.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : Vyv Vydal, the smirky blue-eyed one with the pretty mouth

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : no, i mean... are you at work? you're not standing over a corpse, are you?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : I'm not at work. And what if I was standing over a corpse?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : i'd politely request you wash your hands before you touch my latte

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : I'm not picking up a latte for you and driving it over to your apartment. if you want it, you can come here and get it.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : goddamn it is it raining rn?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : It's the PNW, it's always raining

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : looks like drizzle. fuck it. i'll be there in 10 minutes unless i catch all the lights.

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : hmm, this isn't bad.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : rood

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : I'll see you soon, bebe. Leftover thai if you're hungry. And about three quarters of a basic white girl

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : did you drink all the foam?

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (after a minute) no

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : you're the worst liar ever

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : You're a way worse liar than me

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (no response)

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Drive safe, bebe. Love you.

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (20 minutes later) don't freak out when i walk in

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : (after a minute) What? Why?

(TXT to Ruiz) Sutton : (There's the sound of a motorcycle pulling up outside, and the engine dying. 3 minutes go by.) just a little blood

(TXT to Sutton) Ruiz : Fuck. stay where you are. I'll be right out.