2019-11-11 - Winemergency

Erin had the wine delivered. Spanish red. Plenty of it if two wouldn't do the trick. There's an entire case to replenish the supply that Sutton could take with her. The meal was ordered and due probably any time as well as the dessert. Right now, Erin is dressed casual, none of the fancy dresses. A pair of chinos in a pale khaki that are rolled up at the cuff and an oversized sweater in light beige. The sweater hung off one shoulder and was determined to do so no matter how much Erin fixed it. There's wine glasses out as well as larger goblet style glasses so Sutton could have her choice. The French doors were open and to counter the fresh brisk air, the fireplace is going as well.

There's no music or anything, Erin wasn't setting up some weird seduction scene. The sound of the ocean could be heard through the open French doors though. Maybe some ambiance? Erin is used to it by now, it was just part of the setting.

Sutton shows up wearing a pair of old jeans, distressed fabric worn incredibly soft, knees ripped out. A pair of grey cowboy boots with hard wooden soles are on her feet. She, too, wears a sweater, though hers is an off the shoulder number, black, thickly knitted and cozy. She knocks lightly at the door to number 5. It's not much of a walk from where she was staying. If the mirrored aviators on her face are any indication, she's going to need a little wine to mitigate a hangover.

If the door is open, she pushes it open, knowing she's expected. If it's not, she'll wait for the lady of the house to answer, her hands slid into her pockets.

The large wooden and glass door is open, the storm door is closed, but the storm door is all glass and Erin is just there inside by the back doors. More than welcome to come on in, in fact, Erin waves her in as soon as she hears the sounds at the door. "Come on inside." Meeting her over by the door. There's a moment of uncertainty as to greet with a hug or not, but simply questioning it herself answers her own question. So she wears a smile, a welcoming one. "Please do come in, I'm so informal here, make yourself at home, really. Glasses, wine, the works. There's a wine refrigerator with plenty that is chilled and carbs will be here soon if you're hungry.

Sutton pushes in and then closes the door behind her. She makes her way into the house proper, reaching up to slide her sunglasses up and atop her head, nesting them into her blonde locks which have gone a bit wild and half-curled, blown out of their usual style by the walk on a windy day. She finger combs through them, and resettles her sungalsses. "Hey, Erin." Her voice is soft. "Yes, I am, thank you." She pauses inside to pull off her boots, nudging them against the wall with her toes. "This is a nice place. The view is amazing." She wanders over to look out the open French doors. "Up at the apartments, I leave mine open all the time. Not that I've been there much recently." It's hard to feel comfortable in a room sandwiched between a murder apartment and attempted murder apartment.

"Thanks for inviting me... yes, wine. Wine to start is good." She makes her way over to retrieve the bottle, slipping through Erin's kitchen. Hugging may come later, when he head isn't asking her why she makes decisions like the decisions she made last night. It may be a touch awkward at first, but that's normal for new friends with an odd number of things in common. "I could eat a small elk at this point." She pulls open the fridge. "How's work?" Something easy to ask after while she pours. "Wine?" She'll pour for both if Erin wants some too.

"It's so good to see you." Erin is comfortable around Sutton for probably the second time in her life. The first being at the funeral. "I love living here, it seems much more peaceful and so much quieter than living in the apartments. Tobin lives immediately beside me in number 4. He's a great neighbor. I just knew once I'd been attacked in the apartment, there was no going back to it. No way."

Walking over with her, Erin takes one of the glasses to be filled, "Wine will be perfect." And draws her glass nearer when its filled, taking a long drink from it. "Work is good, busy. Joey is my favorite boss, but I also know I can't live off that income alone and that's what I want. I want to keep saving every thing I already have and spending only what I make each month so I've always got my nest egg there for anything special I may want in the future." As for small talk, it would suffice, but there was more, she was sure of it. She doesn't press. Not yet. "How's being a paramedic? Worth it or would you recommend full time nursing?"

"I think it is. My friend has number 13 and it has a view like this. I miss the view when I'm not at Bayside, but I don't miss wondering who else is in the hallway, dealing with security, the elevators." Running into random weirdos in the corridors. "Yeah, I left that night and didn't go back for weeks. It's the most expensive storage unit I've ever rented." She pours half a glass of wine, careful not to slosh the ruby-colored liquid into the glass. She gives it a quarter turn to keep it from dripping as she raises it to reach for another, then slides one over toward Erin.

"Joey seems like a solid dude." She says that knowing he's not what you might call a pillar of the community, of course. "It's a good plan, making an effort to save more. I'll be doing that when I exit my lease at Bayside. It's coming up in January." She leans against the counter, her elbow pulled in against her body, wide glass held up under her chin. She gives it a swirl then takes a taste. "Mm." Must be good. "... I think nursing would be satisfying if you like to see the progression of a case. We jump in scoop up the mess, and try to hold it together long enough to get to the hospital, and then we're hands off until the next one. I wonder sometimes what happens to my patients."

Even though Erin may have her suspicions about Joey's extracurricular activities involving the gym, but she doesn't know the extent of it. Nor does she question or want to know. Joey was a good guy and she accepted it at face value. "He offers a lot of good advice and he doesn't take shit from anyone."

The thought of leaving her lease has her considering, "You should look into buying a house. It's something to consider anyway. Even if you're buying one with Javier, I think you're both used to living near the ocean now. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to get a place on Bayside. If you're remaining in Gray Harbor." Just her nickel's worth of free advice.

"I was thinking of going into ER nursing, it seems like the immediate saving, helping diagnose which I've been working on without the more magical side. I figure diagnosing would be a huge step in knowing what to heal. But getting them when it's just two people to witness the miraculous recovery may be better and may attract less attention than working in the hospital."

"I respect that, his advice and his calling out of bullshit. He said a few things that made me smile." Sutton rests the cool edge of the wine glass base against her collarbone. "I... yeah. I don't know about property ownership. I'm not a person who likes to have a lot of stuff. I brought everything I own here, and then when I got hurt back in March, I couldn't even carry it myself when I had to move to Bayside from the room rental I had."

"It seems to be going around, though, the home owner... ship. He asked me to move in with him." Sutton shakes her head slightly. "After..." She pauses, to take a slug of wine. Whew. "After he told me he might have an adult daughter." There's a lot of subtext there, a lot of somethings unspoken. "Which I think maybe would have been fine. If he didn't treat everything in his life like an option or a burden." What does that mean?

"Sorry. Right. Yeah, I'll probably just find somewhere else to rent. ER nursing is fast paced and every single one of the strongest, most engaged staffers I know are ER nurses. I think you'd be good at that. You didn't leave when you found Javi and me that morning..." That afternoon, really, after the fight. The fight where he tried to kill her and she beat the hell out of him for his trouble.

Whoa.. whoa. An adult daughter? Erin visibly flinches, watching Sutton as if.. watching for something telling. She takes a deep breath but can't find the exact words. Somehow the topic of Joey and advice and even which occupation or home to consider. "An option or a burden." Somehow, Erin doesn't need an explanation on that. For reasons all her own, she was sometimes both to Javier.

"I won't pretend I don't know what happened, because I do. I know about the baby." Erin lifts her eyes to Suttons, kind of expecting a rage, or anything. "I.. I invite you to talk to me about it, if you want. The hurt of it, you have to talk to someone, I'd like to be that friend."

Sutton swirls the wine glass again lightly, whether encouraging it to breathe or an unconscious gesture, it's hard to say. She presses the curve of the glass to the edge of her jaw, thinking. She's a little sluggish after an entire bottle of wine last night, mostly because it was on an empty stomach. Sometimes you start drinking early enough, it doesn't matter if friends try to shove a grilled cheese down your throat. The damage is done.

"You do." There's a pause before she takes a breath. A few other people know, ones she's told. One she told... by accident, kind of. One she told the other night, because they asked, though it was meant as a snide remark and caught an honest answer. Sutton looks over, her hazel eyes seeking Erin's. "What did he say about that?"

"I just don't want him to disappoint another woman with his litany of 'I don't know's."

"He said he has nothing more to give. He's already been a husband and a father and he couldn't do it again." Speaking of his first marriage and his son. "I know it affects him, what happened between the two of you. The child. Far more than he lets on. He tries to block off that whole side of him, the side that feels. I realize I am preaching to the choir, you know him far better than I ever will. But I feel like he will regret it someday. Because now does he not only have to deal with the loss of his son, he has to deal with the loss of a second child. I even told him as much."

Erin downs the drink but about then the doorbell rings and she places her glass on the coffee table and walks over to the door. It's the food! Yay! She allows Maria's brother in and he places all of the dishes on the coffee table. Steaks are already on glass plates with domed lids, the sides are in small crocks with lids. Even utensils and sauces are included. Steak, roasted green beans, those smashed, buttered potatoes. Even dinner rolls Everything is set. Erin gives him several folded bills and he goes on his way.

"Dinner!" A half smile is given and she gets one of the wine bottles and brings it to the coffee table with the rest of the food.

"The real question though, is how do you feel about it?"

"He told me the same, he couldn't. Just that." Sutton murmurs those words, then takes a moment to drink, slowly, more of the wine. "I don't know what he feels most of the time, unless he reaches for me. In that way, we communicate perfectly. When it comes to complication, not so well. There's only so far I can say yes. The drugs and the recklessness. I won't demand he stop, and I don't know if I can be with someone who's already..." She hesitates. "Who almost died twice already." There's something she's not saying there. Given Ruiz's behavior, his drinking, his drug use, if Erin knows about that or how bad it's become, she might guess at.

While Erin's answering the door, Sutton refills both of their glasses. More wine!

"This looks so good." Sutton is definitely a foodie, and there's nothing like a steak dinner homemade. "Thank you," she says to Maria's brother as he delivers the food, and then to Erin. "If I ever marry, it'll be a man who cooks like this." She settles down into a seat before she answers the question Erin asked. "I know I'm not in a place for a child now. I know he isn't. That was an accident. We got really drunk. Having a kid with a cop is hard enough. Having a kid with a cop who keeps trying to kill himself." She puts her wine glass down. "Just the same. Every time I see a little kid..." She lifts the dome on one plate. "My breath catches. Like Joey's little niece." That day in the gym when she was sparring with Javier.

"I don't know. I think God doesn't give any one person more than they can honestly handle. He lost his family. He's not the only one to lose someone he loves. Or love and lost. I'm not diminishing anything for him because everyone reacts different and there is absolutely no wrong way to feel when that happens. The way we react can be wrong though. I don't know why he's on a one way road to self destruction. I don't know what I can do or say to change things for now. I also know it's not mine or your responsibility to change his mind. I also know neither one of us will stop trying."

Erin offers the cloth napkin wrapped utensils to Sutton so she can get to eating and she unwraps her own, a napkin on her lap. "Is there anything else you need?" There are a few varieties of steak sauces on the table. Butter, salt, pepper, etc.

It's the wine Erin reaches for and takes a healthy swallow of, fingers holding the glass a little tightly. "I knew it was hard for you that day. I knew even then. I just tried to be upbeat and not bring you down. I know Javier needs you in whatever capacity he can give and you can give. I'm not sure there's a marriage minded man in this town though. Cooking or not. I tried the dating thing and it just turns me off of it the more I try. For now I'm content with the occasional visit, but I know for a fact one day I will want a kid. It's just.. something I've always imagined. I know I have options and donors and all, but that doesn't interest me right now. Maybe in the future."

Finally, the wine glass is set aside and she starts cutting into the steak. Her own choice is medium to medium well. It's perfect. "Is there ever going to be a time you want a child? Even with Javier?"

Sutton nods, her hand resting in her lap until Erin offers over the wrapped silver. She takes it with a, "Thanks. No, nothing else, this is more than enough. It's very generous." And unrolls it carefully. "I drank once it was safe to do so, and stayed that way. That was... right around the time you were attacked in your apartment, just before. Actually, I went to the gym and picked a fight with the biggest, dumbest looking dude I could find. That was fun." She half-smiles, half-smirks.

"I grew up in a family that makes me want to have a one of my own. I want a partner I can depend on, at some point, someone who gives me an answer when I ask a question that requires one. When I started this with Javi, I didn't really think it out, mostly because tequila. I feel like the rules with him change every other week, and he's making all of them, at least when we're not in bed." Sutton picks up her wine glass. "I don't really know that I'll ever want a child with him. I don't think I will. I'm not going to ask him to change."

"If I hadn't... if I'd kept it, I'd have walked in on him nearly dead on our bed, and maybe I wouldn't have been able to revive him. That anger wasn't Billy. That hopelessness wasn't Billy. Billy was a nudge." She slides the plate closer, picks up a knife. "Javier de la Vega isn't a father. I think he was once upon a time. I hope maybe he can be if that girl is his. I hope he gets his shit together for her."

It all sounds so unbearably sad. "Sometimes I feel like I need that. To pick a fight I can't win. I'm too afraid to though." Erin shrugs a little, unable to explain why. "My whole family is fucked up. My grandmother despises me now over my decisions about Gohl. And now my cousin, who should have been around at the time to help make these decisions, now comes in after it's all said and done, riding his high horse and resting comfortably in my grandmothers good graces. It's a bitch move on his part and hers." There's a lot of bitterness there. A whole lot. "So now, not only have I lost my real parents, I lost the only parents I've ever known who even filled that position while my parents were gone. I want to be a parent. I just want that closeness with a man and a child who I can love and who loves me."

There's a shrug and she drinks more of her wine. "I'm sorry, here I am supposed to be listening to you. "Do you even have any potential men you could have that with? Friends who could be more? I assume I'm not the only other lover in Javier's life. I remember asking you before why you put up with it? And how? Has your answer changed any? Do you ever question it to yourself? If you feel you deserve something more?"

The mention of his daughter is a sobering one. "Did he say who she was? This adult he fathered?"

"It's cathartic until it's not. If I'd been any slower pinning my feet against his hips, what you and Joey found in the morning could have been very different." Sutton doesn't say what she thinks that might have been. And it is, it's sad. But it's not like Sutton didn't see something like this coming. At least they're not standing over a fresh grave.

"I saw little of your family, and I know even less, but what I see in you, Erin, is a will to survive them, the tools to survive them, and, somehow, against all that they've shown you, and all the unreasonable behavior, somehow you came out of that still wanting to help other people, and to put your ass on the line to do it." She takes the knife to her steak to bisect it and check the cook, then saws it neatly into even pieces before she takes a bite. She's quite precise about it, hands deft with the knife and fork. "For what it's worth, I think your compassion shows you'd be a good mom. Because knowing your shit is fucked up and wanting to do better? That's... the best place to start from." Caring to try to be better. Some people don't even do that.

"You never have to apologize talking about your life unless I'm paying you for therapy." Sutton smiles, and finally spears a bite of steak. "I don't mind the lovers, as long as he comes home to me. As long as he takes my calls. As long as he doesn't lie. He was angry when he asked me for the names of my lovers, and walked after I asked him to come to bed. I don't think he's really okay with his lovers having other lovers." She pauses, then takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully. Mm. Good. Steak. "Maybe in my thirties I'll find someone. When I'm more stable too."

There's a beat before she says, "He did. He said... it was a bird name. Starling or... Finch or something. Caelano or Cearin... fuck I drank too much last night." Something like that.

With the handcuffs being necessary and the firearms taken apart, Erin can guess what they might have walked in on. In two parts. A dead Sutton with a dead Javier. Or just one or the other. She flinches at that particular visual.

Dark eyes glance Sutton's way but there's a half smile in them. Just because the mention of her family and all being fucked up. "I think I'll be an okay parent. I think I'm a nurturer, but I'm really not sure where that comes from. Maybe from not having it all my life, it's something I always wanted for myself. I won't really question it so much though." Leaving it at that.

"I think I'd never make a therapist, so we're both pretty safe. As for sharing.. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, I think. Sharing a man. Not that I'm even the one sharing, you are. But I see him maybe for a few hours once every few weeks. That's all. He's been going to cook, but something always comes up. So really it's been less and less. I think he's pretty much finished with me and I get that. I just wish he would tell me instead of keeping me hanging on." A shake of her head and she says softly. "He can hardly complain about you having other lovers when he does it?

Erin concentrates cutting her steak, if there are fatty pieces, she pushes them aside, those aren;t for her. She uses A-1 and dips a bite in it before taking it. Her fork stills a moment. "Bird name? I met a Sparrow yesterday. I've met a Finch also. She was with Ignacio and a few others at the Day of the Dead on the boardwalk. I think those are the only ones I've heard of. I hope for her sake he doesn't just disregard her."

That's pretty much the size of it. Lots of dead people and a mess for housekeeping. (There's no tip big enough for that.)

"This steak is fucking awesome." Sutton, classy as ever, mmms her appreciation, and scoops up some potato before taking another bite. She slides the fork out of her mouth clean, gesturing briefly with it. "I think the best thing a person can do is mirror the love they were shown as a kid, or, if they didn't have it something, to find it for their children, friends, lovers, and share that with them."

"When you and Javier started sleeping together, we'd just done too. The only difference is he used to be in love with my brother. Javi confuses protecting and watching over with sex, and my brother's pretty fucking pissed." She doesn't realize most people don't know that her brother's dead and a ghost, and that he's haunting her, which can lead to some awkward conversations. "I was really pretty surprised he hadn't told you I knew. Or that he was seeing other people too. It took me a while to figure out why you seemed so uncomfortable in the motel." She glances over.

"Latin men tend to be possessive, which isn't my favorite cultural tendency, particularly in this situation. I've never been in here before. I don't usually stay with someone this long. I've never tried to be in a long term open relationship. I know they don't work without communication. Javier hates revealing his thoughts. I don't think he's ever going to do it again with me after I walked out last night." She's quiet a beat, then says, "He probably won't tell you unless you ask, and even then..."

"... I think it was Finch. She has a Latin boyfriend. Javi doesn't approve. I... yeah, I told him to be careful what he says to her. What he says is going to stay in her heart her whole life. Even if he wasn't her Dad... if he's her father."

"That's what I think too. I want to be all my parents weren't. I mean, I already know how to not parent. Everyone has shown me by example. I honestly have considered donor sperm." Crinkling her nose at even saying it out loud. "But that's a last resort. I'd like to be working at the hospital first, at least. Or settled into my more permanent career. It's the reason I got a two bedroom house when I bought this. One kid and done." Erin lifts a bite of steak in agreement and eats it. Enjoying it. There';s a smile at the choice of words. "I will gladly give you Maria's number. You should taste her fajitas or her fried chicken spread."

The fork stills. "Javier was in love with your brother?" Oh boy, Erin hadn't known that. "He was protecting me too, is that what it was then? Protection? I had no idea. I also didn't know he was bi-sexual." Indeed that was news to her and she considers it for a long moment. "Your brother? I can imagine anyone being angry. You have no idea how much I have beat myself up over thinking I was hurting you. Of course I knew and knew there were others, I just didn't know it was of both genders. He's a very.. passionate man."

Lowering her fork to her plate, she reaches for the wine again. "I'm not going to ask, but I do know if I have a problem and I don't come to him first, he gets so upset with me. That night, the night before we showed at the hotel room, I wouldn't tell him where I was. Then he wouldn't answer the texts, I was so worried. I should have been. He could have hurt you. I still blame myself."

Sutton definitely seems tempted by that number. "I barely feed myself unless it's take out or eggy bread or attempts at pie, which almost always go wrong." She has another bite, eating her steak with just a little salt and pepper on it. She focuses on the green beans for a while. They're good too. "Would you?" Oh god, the number of a cook who makes all the things. "Living in Seattle, I'd go home once a week and Mom always sent me home with more food. I didn't need to learn to cook." Then she moved... here.

"In love might be a strong phrase. They were lovers and partners, which is pretty much the tightest friendship there is." She mms. "I don't mean to say that it's only protection, but I think that's part of how he learns to relate. For me, he used it as an excuse to be around, and then... you've seen him. Tequila." That plus tequila and resolve. "We went out once and I didn't like the way he touched me, what he said about some things. I wasn't going to get involved, you know? I can see red flags all over somebody and I did it anyway. Doesn't matter as much when all you're after is a good time." She reaches over to touch Erin's knee or elbow, whichever is closer. "You never hurt me, Erin." The touch is brief, fleeting. She picks up the dinner roll and takes a bite.

"I've been fighting all my life. When my brother and I were kids, we took classes together, and our Dad's a marine. It was kinda what we did together. I think if who he was with was any of the other people he's seeing... I'm really not sure they would have survived. I got lucky that I'm faster and hit him harder before he managed to pin me." She pauses, then asks, "Why do you blame yourself?"

"I'll make sure you have the number, for sure." Erin continues to nurse her glass of wine, but there's not much left so she refills it and offers more for Sutton as well. "I can only cook frozen things like lasagna. Things that need to be heated. I can slice and dice veggies for salad though." That leaves her with the talk of Sutton's twin and she nods lightly, collecting the refilled glass and sipping from it again. "Tequila and drugs. And sex from anyone and everyone. I guess it's best that you put the condom stipulation on him." Her lips quirk just a bit. "He did mention that."

The reassurance has her giving Sutton a long look before nodding. "I admit I don't know what it's like to have a brother or a father, but family.. man. Family can be a bitch."

Finally, she gives a wry look. "I say I blame myself, but that is probably putting too much credit towards my own place in everything. He wanted to contact me, so when he texted me, I wouldn't tell him where I was. I told him to just go home to you. Apparently he did. Very angry."

Sutton snorts. "You should see how many condoms I in the apartment. I never saw a box that big until it was sitting in my kitchen. It filled up my whole sugar jar." Because who puts sugar in the sugar jar? "He came over this one time with sugar and flower, dumped the sugar jar, condoms went everywhere." She smirks. "We're just having a conversation and he decides the sugar jar needs sugar. I do not bake. I do not cook. I do not need a sugar jar full of sugar. So he keeps going, dumps the flour jar, says nothing about three hundred condoms falling over the edge of the counter. Every time he says something, another one hits the floor. Like if he ignores the three hundred condoms they'll cease to exist."

She sobers a bit at the mention of the texting, Erin telling Javier to go home. "He's always angry, love. Please don't blame yourself." She has another bite of potatoes, then steak, putting it away in small, neat bites. "I think it matters who you choose. The people you choose to be your family."

There's a long pause before she says, "I think Javi will be that, but for me, I don't know if I can be with someone who changes the rules on his terms, uses enough blow to drop an entire footie team, and can't answer a question that needs answering when I ask it. For the moment, that's Rosencrantz's milieu. God be with you, New York. That man is a tall piece of gorgeous." She takes the last bite of her steak and says, "Me, I'm headed up to Seattle next week to visit my brother's grave and tell him to stop fucking haunting me."

Erin laughs softly. It starts out softly but increases with the imagery. Condoms for days! Years! Putting her plate aside, the steak mostly eaten, she keeps her wine glass in hand. "I just can't imagine how someone could use or need so many condoms.I can imagine him talking while the condoms kept falling. That's just too funny."

Her smile remains, "I see less of the angry side than you may think. There's so much I just love about him. I would do the fairy tale with him if he would do it. But for two things. I'd never want you to be without him and I could never marry a man who wasn't fully and solely mine. And number two, he would never go for it anyway."

"He is an amazing man, Sutton. I know he's not mine really, in any capacity. But that doesn't make him any less incredible." Falling silent again, she sips a good portion of her wine before taking a deep breath. "Itzhak? He seems like a nice guy. You're interested in him?"

Then she realizes about Suttons brother and she pales a little. "I didn't realize about your brother." She doesn't question it though. "I'm very sorry."

Sutton eats one last green bean, nearly having fished her plate, and sets the fork aside. She dabs the corners of her mouth with the napkin, then folds that neatly aside as well. "Yeah, like one of those coin fall games at the arcade, except with a good return." She picks up her wine glass to sip. "Oh, Erin. Don't... let me stop you asking for what you want. If that's what he wanted, and he would let you love him..." She shakes her head, swallowing. "He'll never do that. He's not that man. I don't... think he's going to let anyone love him more than he hates himself."

Which is a sad fucking state. And Sutton's only recently realized it. She doesn't say anything for a while, but does look up at the mention of the New Yorker. "Not like that. Would I play spin the bottle with that man? Yes, I would. He looks like he's a good kisser. He's pretty. He's tall, dark hair, and he has fire. I think we could be friends. I think he plays violin beautifully. The other things, though? I don't need any more panties on my bedroom floor." She raises her wine glass, "I wouldn't kick him off the couch for a cuddle on movie night, though." There's a soft laugh at that.

"Oh, thanks.. I forget people don't know." Sutton clears her throat. "Thank you."

"I didn't choose, I just know I can't walk away. He could walk away from me though. I know he could, because the time we spend together has been less and less and the time with others more and more. I think that's what he is doing. Walking away." Erin swirls the wine in the bottom of her glass, looking down into it. "But how do you turn off love? I tried dating Gabriel. I honestly think he dates as many as Javier does but he's so obviously not Javier." Lifting a hand she runs it through her hair, pushing those thick locks back from her face.

"Itzhak seems like a good man. He spends a lot of time at the Gym but admittedly I've not spoken to him much. I mentioned the other day, I think men are the reason I'm single."

Finally, she broaches more of the subject of her brother. "How long ago did you lose him? Is there a way to make him happy so he could be free to leave the Earth?" She does not say like Gohl.

"I don't know how you turn off love, Erin." Sutton says, only after watching the dark-eyed woman for a long while. She heard all those words, and she can feel them, the sadness in them. It's so obvious how much Erin admires Javier, no matter if he hurts her. "I don't know if you can. What I've seen in my job, though... love isn't always enough. And you can love someone who hurts you over and over, but you don't have to stay in their path of destruction to love them." She glances down at her hands. "That doesn't mean it's easier, or that it hurts any less."

She takes a slow breath, and nods, doesn't say anything more about Itzhak, but she does say in reply to the other topic, "It'll have been a year next week. Eli died, I got drunk for... pretty much then until I moved here. I applied for the job pretty deep in a bottle of vodka and don't really even remember it. This is the department that called me back. I didn't even know for a bunch more months that Eli was haunting me. I don't know... there are only a couple of things he's asked me for and I'm not ready to leave town."

"I understand what you're saying. Staying with someone who doesn't feel the same is asking to be hurt. My grandmother let me go so easily." A snap of her fingers and Erin tilts her wine back, finishing the glass. "The longer between calls, the more I realize how well he's living without me. And then I flip it around. He's actually showing me that I'll probably be just fine. Because in keeping himself away, he teaches me I am living without him as well."

"It sounds like you both were really close. Until recently, I've never really felt that sort of closeness with anyone, I don't know how you handled the loss without losing yourself in the process. Or maybe you did. What does he ask of you that you would have to leave town for?"

Sutton nods, legs crossing. She rests her hands on her jean-clad knee, a couple of her fingertips tucking into the ripped out knee. "You don't want to leave someone you feel might need you. I get that too. I feel that too." She doesn't know what to say to the feeling like she's being left, or realizing it means she can be left and be okay. At least not for a while. "Some people are very good at staying busy. I'm sorry you're going through that, Erin. No one deserves to make you feel less than cherished."

Finally, about her brother, she nods. "Yeah, twins." She smiles, though this time there's really no humor in it. "I turned twenty seven this year. He didn't. That was difficult." She displays little emotion when she says that, though it's clear from the blanching of her fingers at her knee that she's feeling something. "I almost did lose myself, but then I decided that taking a risk like that is stupid. That's all he wanted, just that. For me to leave this town. He keeps asking me. That's all he seems to want."

"This town is dangerous, I could understand him wanting that. But this is also home. It's always been my home. I just.. I think if you're here you're around friends and people who care about you and are able to help you if you get hurt. The sad part, is the worst you've been hurt since I've known you, is at Javier's hands." It's unfortunate, but Erin recognizes it.

"We should get a group together soon and have a girls night out. You, Lilith, Isabella, myself. It would be fun just having fun. Doesn't matter where, just go out and have fun. That's not my suggestion, it was Lilith's but it's a good one. You up for it?"

"Everything in Seattle is another reminder of my brother, so I wanted to be elsewhere for a while, but he followed me." Sutton smirks at that. "I didn't think I'd be ok leaving home, but I was. I miss it. I haven't been back. I'll think I'll take a few days and go next week. Visit some old friends. Pretend everything in Gray Harbor is normal and postcard picturesque." As you do.

Because everything's fine.

"Yes." Yes about being hurt. Yes about friends. She falls silent for a moment, then looks up. Her hands lace in her lap, resting against her knee. "I would love that. Girls night. I haven't done one in a long time. Bella said something about going out sometime, but we never firmed up plans. Everyone's been... recovering, I guess, from the funeral, then the holiday." And associated madness. "Thank you for dinner, Erin, it was delicious." She smiles then, a soft one, but genuine. "I'm sorry we talked the whole time about a man, failing that Bechdel test. I feel like some things said... getting it out there, maybe it won't be weird. It'll help one or both of us. I hope both."

"Hopefully home will help mend some old wounds. And some not so old ones." Erin smiles encouragingly. "I'm sure it won't do any good, but if you need the company just let me know. I'd drive you down there. But better yet, get Itzhak to do it." She laughs softly, "Just hang out, watch a movie, show him the old sights. Pretend life is normal, like you said."

Her wine is finished, she replaces the glass on the coffee table. "I had an amazing time with you and I will let Lilith know it's a go. We'll find a time and get together.We did do a lot of talking, but I kind of feel like it helped. I learned a few things. If you ever need to talk though, about anything, I'm here anytime."

Sutton shakes her head, laughing softly. "I really can't think of any situation more awkward than asking a man I barely know to drive me to Seattle. Violin man, be my driver." She laughs, "No. No way. If I need a cute boy to walk me around my old stomping grounds, it'll be a friend. Even then, it'd have to be a good one. Last time I was in Seattle, I was in a haze of vodka and I'm not sure how it's going to go. Mum's been after me for months to come home for a hello." She pauses briefly, "Speaking of family, your cousin Aubrey? She seems really sweet. I met her in a bar a few weeks back. Hilarious."

"The offer stands for you, love. If you need to talk, you can text me anytime. I can't promise prompt replies, but if I'm not actively hungover, I'll try. Also sorry in advance if I mistext you when I'm drinking. It happens and ... it just happens." She moves to rise, "You mind if I take the rest of this bottle?"

"Would you feel better if Javier went with you? At least he's protective, familiar and he knows your brother well? Or is he not wanting to go face him either?" Erin considers it before smiling. "I didn't realize you didn't know Itzhak so well. There are so many good looking guys around. They've all got girlfriends or boyfriends. Or both." She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Patrick is in town also, another cousin of mine. Have you met him? He's nice looking but I think it's awfully convenient of the family to be away when things were going down and suddenly show up now. Maybe it's just all that bitterness though. I don't want to be that bitter person. I'm trying so hard not to be."

Rising, she smiles. "Want me to call you an Uber? Won't take but a minute or two to get one here. Then you can take a few more bottles with you too." She laughs, giving a shrug. "Feel free to drunk text me anytime. Probably be the highlight of my night."

"Things are weird right now. I need to think about that. I left last night when we were fooling around and he dropped the kid bomb. I realized he doesn't deal with things. I mean he does, at his job, but not in his personal life." Sutton glances away briefly. "He knew. Somehow he knew what he was saying would send me out the door, and he held on so tight. I think I'm taking some space to consider it all. When he touches me, I don't do a lot of... critical thinking."

"I don't think my parents finding out about me dating a man nearly twenty years my senior is by me bringing Javi to dinner over this anniversary. They know him. They're friends with him. Dad might shoot him on the spot." Which would also probably be Eli's reaction. Sutton reaches up to finger a small silver Saint Michael medallion on a chain around her neck. "No, I don't think I've met a Patrick. He sounds like a prince." Showing up when the bodies stop dropping. She mms.

"No, thank you." She brushes her hands over her arms. "I'm just going up eight houses." It's really not all that far, even with the width of some of these short, sea-backed lots. "I like walking. Burns off the wine faster, which means I can drink more." Priorities, you know? "How about I take... two bottles, and then save the rest for girl's night." Sutton turns and heads that-a-way to poke around in the case.

"I understand. Just be safe there and I'm glad you have your parents home to go to." Getting two bottles of the chilled wine she places them in a tall paper brown gift bag with sturdy white handles. It's placed on the counter for her. "If you ever need a place to stay, I'm serious. I have a spare bedroom. You're welcome to spend the night if you need. Just in case of emergency or something."

Two bottles in hand, the best way to do it, Sutton turns and steps into offer Erin a hug. It's not quite a proper hug, because bag with bottles, but it's not a wimpy one-arm job either. Just means the bag might bump off Erin's hip, if she'll have the hug. "Thank you." For having her over, for dinner, for inviting her out for a night out with the other ladies, for watching her back at the masquerade, for swapping shoes, for talking about their joint boy probs. All those things. One simple phrase. The hug doesn't linger.

"Thank you for extending your hand. You didn't have to, and it's... after all that's happened to you in this town." There's a lot unsaid there, too. "I may take you up on the room. Things are currently... complicated." Language doesn't quite suit her today, and that's what the chilled wine is for. "Be safe, love. Text if you find any super cute kitten memes." And with that, the blonde's heading for the door.