2019-12-20 - Migration of the Octopi

Gray Harbor is right on the very cusp of the holiday season swinging into a full on frantic rush before Christmas comes crashing in. People are moving all over town by foot or by car, but the park seems to be quiet tonight. It would be nice if there was a pleasant white snow to coat everything but instead it's the steady patter of a light rain that makes puddles reflect the light of street lamps dotted around the park. Enzo is cutting through from one place to another, he has a cup of take away coffee in his hand and he's huddled down in his jacket. The rain clings to his hair and the tops of his shoulders and when it starts to really intensify, he stops and ducks into a conveniently located gazebo so he can hide from the worst of it. This is ideal, yes.

That gazebo is already occupied! Although, to be fair, it's not hard to miss out on that, since Alexander is sitting on the side farthest away from the few street lights, still and silent as he stares at a spot on the lawns. He's also dressed in dark clothes - a dark gray sweater that looks like it's about to fall apart from age and wear, black jeans, and black workboots. Even his leather gloves are black. He says, abruptly, "Sit down, you'll scare it," when Enzo ducks inside, barely looking at the man.

Beth went home quickly after popping into the coffee shop to change into some athletic leggings with a hoodie thrown over the entire ensemble before she drove over to the park for a run. Her run, unfortunately for her, did not last long. Soon enough that light rain turns into a downpour. She lets out a shriek of indignation as she gets soaked. The white gazebo beckons like a beacon in a stormy sea. She makes a mad dash for it and practically stumbles up the few stairs inside. She tries to catch herself on the doorway, slips, and her black rimmed rain slicked glasses slip off of her nose and fall to the ground. "Shit! My glasses!" She kneels to feel around for them, not even noticing Enzo or the all in black Alexander whose tranquility has been ruined and quarry has likely been scared off.

Sure now, Enzo is a person possessing of a very calm and collected demeanor. But this absolutely doesn't make him immune to shit like 'strange guy sitting in dark gazebo in dark clothes talking about IT'. There's a noticeable jerk of his shoulders and he twists abruptly to narrow his eyes in the direction of the gazebo's current occupant, nearly spilling the coffee on himself. Then he glances around their general vicinity, scare off WHAT? Still, he sits down on the bench. It happens just in time for Beth to come crashing into the area, slipping and losing her glasses. In a much more exaggerated version of Alexander he goes, "Sit down, you'll scare it," a complimentary 'shhhhh' is included.

Alexander leans over - his eyes are well enough adapted to the darkness that he manages to pick out the lump of darkness that is the glasses from all the other various shadows and darknesses. He picks up the glasses, and extends a hand to offer them to Beth by the very edge, so there's little chance of their hands touching when it's passed over. "Shhh," he echoes, sternly, at her. And nods to Enzo's reiteration that she will scare it. From his slightly disheveled, underslept look, 'it' might be a passing drug dealer to give him his fix.

It's dark and Beth's vision is already impaired. She gets on her hands and knees and begins feeling around for her glasses by swatting her hands down on the floor. She is still swatting when Alexander offers them to her. She senses him close, lifts her hand to take her eye wear back, and pulls up her hoodie to find a clean tank top under to dry them off on before she puts them back on her face. It's then that she notices how weird Alexander is being. "Um..." She begins, but decides to play along for now, stands up, and goes to the bench to sit in silence.

'It' could be almost anything. But it's raining pretty hard out there and it's not like Enzo is going anywhere else anytime soon, so he settles in under the gazebo with Alexander, who apparently might be a drug addict, and his cup of coffee, which he drinks. This is fine. Just fine. He leans forward to mimic a pensive, waiting posture as if he expects something to happen any moment now, even if nothing does. When Beth joins them in their silent vigil, he nods in appreciation for her cooperation on this very sensitive(?) matter.

On the bright side, they don't have to wait long. Alexander slinks back to his bench and stares fixedly at the same spot, not far from a little wooded copse. At first, it seems like it might be just the rain and the night out there, but then - no, it's clear, there's something out there, moving in the dark grasses. Wait, no, there are two. Three. A half dozen low, oddly shaped...moving masses crawling over the grass from one copse towards another a fair distance away. Something about their skin(?) glistens almost slime-like in the rain, but they're too far away to get a good look. "Six. I count six," Alexander mutters to himself. No, wait, to them. "Count more? Fewer?"

Beth sits in silence. Sure, this is weird, but what isn't weird in this town? Her head turns towards where the men are looking, and she waits. Will they see something besides for a wandering crackhead? Doubtful! But it's not like there is a strong enough signal to play Candy Crush. She squints behind her glasses when she notices the slime guys slithering across the grass. She leans forward, both hands resting on her knees, and squints more. "What are they?" She asks in a hushed whisper.

By Enzo's expression, he's almost a little disappointed that this isn't some kind of true crime waiting to happen. Instead, Alexander is counting something that actually seems to exist, some short distance away. When the question comes, he exhales and looks at the gazebo ceiling before he leans forward and squints at the odd, slimy things moving out in the rain. He stares intently out there and with great reluctance answers, "There's actually seven. There's a teeny tiny one flagging behind the others."

Alexander doesn't answer immediately. He's waiting for the line to turn a bit, and start moving away towards the other copse. But when he does, he turns towards them both and grins, brief and bright. "That's an interesting question. We should answer it. I know what they are supposed to be, but what they are? Needs testing." There's a brief pause. "Also. Hi. Alexander Clayton" Townies might recognize 'Crazy' Clayton by face or by name, which may make the next question a bit of an alarming one. "Wanna go see?" He's already standing up.

Beth stands up and takes a quiet step towards the other side of the gazebo to get a better look. Alexander's statement causes her brows to creep upwards. "Uh...well, what are they supposed to be?" She looks back to the moving line of whatevertheheck those are. "Hi. Beth Lawson." Isn't she the woman from that local funeral home commercial? She hesitates a moment before nodding her head. "Uh...okay?"

It's still raining. Enzo looks torn between staying where it's dry and following Crazy Clayton around to look at what's possibly giant slugs. He once again inspects the roof of the gazebo, weighing his options carefully between sips of coffee. "Ah, fuck it. More exciting than going home," he decides to Beth and gets to his feet. "Enzo Addington. Nice funeral home commercial, by the way. Lets go see what the wriggly things are."

"I could tell you. But what would the fun be in that?" It's apparently a serious question, as Alexander slinks past them both and into the rain. "Stay close, and be quiet," he mutters, although does add, "Yes. Addington and funeral home director. I remember you both. Television and party. Hi." Then he goes silent and crouches his way through the rain. Perhaps surprisingly, the three of them are able to get quite close to the line of moving...octopi. Yes. Somehow, someway, there are seven octopi flailing their way through the grass towards the trees. They're a dark, mottled color, and the larger ones have...tiny hats on their bulbous midsections. The little one that Enzo noticed, it's starting to fall behind, and it has no hat. Its whole body is heaving, looking sad and tired.

"I think we went to high school together. And thanks." Beth whispers to Enzo. Like this matters now. Then Alexander is instructing them to stay close and quiet so she shuts up. She gives Alexander a thumbs up when he also mentions her commercial. Then off they go! She also crouches down and slinks after Alexander. When they arrive to where the line of octopi are she mouths 'what the fuck?'. She gives Enzo an in incredulous do you see this shit look, and motions silently but wildly towards the littlest octopus who can't like she can't believe her eyes.

"Did we? That was awhile ago," he concludes and squints at her thoughtfully, probably trying to place her in his memories. "Oh, well, what the fuck," Enzo whispers when they finally get close enough to them. He drinks from his travel cup of coffee and stoops down, looking at the little guy who lost his hat. "I'm pretty sure I saw a documentary about this on tv. Where all the humans on earth are eliminated and replaced by octopus monkeys. I have to say, it's not as impressive in practice." He shakes his head at the creatures and then sweeps his eyes along the grass. "Where did his hat go?" This is Enzo's biggest concern here.

The little guy is falling further, and further behind. Its large, dark eyes glisten in the rain, looking just a wee bit desperate. A tiny tentacle flails a bit at the humans - go away humans - but it just can't go any faster than it's going right now. Alexander mutters, "Maybe it's a runt. Or a juvenile," he starts, but then there's a shape dropping out of the night sky: a jet black bird of pray, which dives down to try and scoop up the flailing seventh octopus. It rolls desperately to the side, and the bird JUST misses, crash landing into the grass and eyeing the three humans with angry disdain before it takes a couple of hops and launches itself back up into the sky. And there are more up there, dive-bombing the octopi, who frantically try to move fast, long arms flailing in the grass.

Beth rolls her eyes ever so slightly when Enzo says he doesn't remember her from high school. "Pretty sure he's not even supposed to have a hat in the first place so-" She may have remarked more on octopi with hats, but then there are big ass birds trying to swoop down on the octopi-buddies. Which, let's face it, they are kind of cute in a bizzaro way. So she gets closer to the runt. "Do not stick me with your suckers I am trying to help you!" She warns hoping that a penchant for hats means they speak some English. She then sort of steps so the littlest octopus is under her legs, and her stance is kept wide so she doesn't accidentally step on him.

"Of course he's supposed to have one, all of the other ones have hats. Clearly his is missing," Enzo points out. "Poor little guy. Everyone else is looking very well dressed and he's out of sorts- hey now! Go eat some field mice," he scolds the birds up in the trees. Then he flicks his hands and.. huh. He stands there looking a little confused but also kind of annoyed by whatever just transpired. "What the fuck... What a time to get performance anxiety."

"Maybe someone stole his hat," Alexander offers, but sounds more amused than like it's a serious suggestion. When Enzo gestures and Beth steps up to try and shield the runt, he moves a bit further down the retreating line of octopi, and starts waving his hands. "Shoo! Shoo!" It's not hugely effective, but does seem to spoil the birds' dives just enough so that most of the octopus line can continue to hustle towards the shade of the trees. Meanwhile, the runt octopus is protected by Beth! She's ably shielding it from attacks - but that does not stop it from wrapping its little legs around her foot and climbing up her leg, in a swarm of wet, cold, invertebrate gratitude. "Let's try to get them to the trees," Alexander suggests, glancing at Enzo.

"No he isn't." Beth says rationally. "He is a creature of the ocean and does not need a hat. That he has a hat makes no sense. They don't need hats." She continues to straddle-walk over the little guy until he begins climbing her. "Ech!" She cries out, but she doesn't push him off of her. Her hands do sort of flap up and down helplessly before she gets over the revulsion, and lowers her hand so he can climb up it and unzips her hoodie. "Come on then! Might as well just carry you!" She keeps heading towards the trees as she does this lest she stop and a hungry and bold hawk steal her gooey new friend.

"That would be an injustice," Enzo replies on the matter of hats, still shaking his hands out and looking annoyed with them. He brushes his fingers off on the front of his damp jacket and looks up at the birds. "Good idea," he agrees and starts manually shooing them to the tree line along with Alexander. He can be at least remotely useful! Sometimes! Not often, but occasionally. This hard work is only interrupted by him insisting to Beth, "He needs a hat. The others have hats!" Maybe he spiked his coffee before he came here.

The tiny octopus swarms up when Beth unzips her hoodie, and sort of oooooozes its way under the cover of the fabric, and wraps its arms as far around her waist as it can reach, then cowers there, cold and squishy and shivering. This...does not please the hawks. Not. At. All. There's outraged SKREES from over head, and three of the things divebomb Beth at once. The bright side? They're so angry that they don't plot those dives very well, and they collide in midair. Bad news? The collide in mid-air RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER FACE, and so now she has an angry hawk explosion to deal with.

Meanwhile, one of the colliding hawks bounces out of the ball of feathers and anger, and flies drunkenly towards Enzo, who is able to deftly deflect it away from the other octopi and into yet another diving hawk. Feathers and shrieks fly.

The first of the octopi makes it to the tree line, then the second. Some of the others are starting to fade - their legs are NOT meant for this, so Alexander tries to reach for one of the ones falling behind. It slaps at his hands with its nearest tentacles. "I'm trying to help!" It ignores this, and just flails faster.

"They don't need ha-" And then Beth screams and sort of just flails her arms to swat away angry birds. Because that's what you do when there are three goddamn birds of prey crashing into each other right in front of your face. She manages to not fall flat on her face and squish her squishy little friend or lose her glasses. "Fucking birds fuck you!" She shouts, and then she zips her hoodie up so only her new friend's singular octopus eye is sticking out of the hoodie, puts her arm under her belly to support him, and makes a mad dash for the tree line.

See, good for something! Enzo deflects the drunk flying bird and leans away so as to avoid having any feathers land on him. Birds have lice and Enzo doesn't need bird lice on him. Probably much to everyone's relief, the chaos from the impending bird apocalypse means that he stops talking about the god damn hats for at least the next five minutes. A reprieve for all! "Beat it, stupid birds! Leave our friends alone!" He's telling the birds to leave them alone, even as he's trying to scoop up a straggler and haul it to the tree line. "Ugh, I really didn't want to touch these. We're probably going to get lungworm." Stay off the internet, Enzo.

Beth runs! It's not that far to the tree line, now, especially when your legs are more than a foot long, and the hawks are busy screaming and trying to remember which wings belong to which birds - no, really: if anyone looks towards the two bird-knots, the hawks seem to have melded into each other, forming an indistinguishable mass of angry, beak-and-claw wielding shadows, so that's fun - and therefore are a little busy. When Enzo scoops up one of the stragglers, it's all squishy and wet in his hands, and all eight arms flail wildly for a moment before wrapping around both his wrists. It is wearing a tiny little top hat with a tiny little flower. How does the hat not fall off?? A mystery for the ages.

Seeing this, Alexander also abandons subtlety and persuasion, because he sucks at both of those, and just scoops up the other straggler, ignoring its attempts to slap him. This one is wearing a tiny cowboy hat, and it is feisty! As he runs for the tree line, Alexander complains, "Stop hitting me, I'm trying to help!" as he's pummeled by all eight legs.

All three of them reach the tree line, Beth in the lead and the two men right behind, just as the rest of the octopi manage it. The two who arrived first have already swarmed up the tree trunks, and are hanging from branches at about human eye height. They doff their tiny hats in unison to the three.

Beth stops running once she has reached the treeline, and turns to lean against a tree and catch her breath. As she sucks in air she reaches down to unzip her hoodie almost all the way down. "Okay...dude. We're here. I don't quite...GASP know why you live in a tree when you're of the ocean, but it's your life..." She turns to her side so he can more easily climb out of the hoodie and up the tree. A hand is lifted to wipe sweat from her brow and she icks as she wipes slime across her forehead. "Ewww...hi!" She says as octopi hats are doffed.

"Where did my coffee go?" Enzo asks when they finally arrive at the treeline, breathless. He holds his hands out to the closest tree so that the land octopus can simply climb up and join its friends. Once it's safely deposited with the others, he smiles-grimaces at them tipping their hats at the group. "...you're welcome. But really, where did my coffee go?" He twists around and then spots it out there, abandoned on the ground where the battle against the body melding night hawks just went down. "I'll just buy another one. Well everyone, it's been a real exciting night. Real fucking odd, but exciting. Nice to see you in a non-drowning setting, Mr. Clayton. And you- from, uh, high school." It's going to take Enzo another night and some more coffee before he catches up Beth, totally normal. "But I think I'm going to go wash my hands before I catch Captain Trips."

Alexander also puts his octopus on a tree branch, and it gives him what is almost certainly the octopus equivalent of a middle finger. "You're welcome," the investigator mutters in turn, glaring at it. And yet, and yet! As all the octopi swarm up into the trees - the little runt last of all - one of the largest turns and three of its tentacles go 'flick!' and each of the three rescuers finds a tiny hat being flung in their direction. A tiny little bowler for Enzo, a flapper-style fascinator for Beth, and a tiny porkpie hat for Alexander. Each hat is about big enough to easily fit on their fist.Then? Then the octopi are gone, swinging deeper into the copse with ease. And the hawks are gone, too, melted into the night. Alexander looks at the little porkpie and snorts with amusement. "Uh. Nice to meet you both. Properly, I mean." Despite the rain, and the complete mismatch in size, he puts the hat on his head, and then walks off into the rainy night.

Mission accomplished.