2019-12-25 - Angry face. Eggplant.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : If I hear another Christmas song, I may puke. ::puke face emoji::

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Santa Baby is quite possibly the worst thing that has ever happened. Ever. War? Famine? Rape? Nope, Santa Baby

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Really? That's one of the few tolerable ones. I mean, it conveys the meaning of Christmas so well!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I would take Dominic the Christmas Donkey on repeat for hours over one more Santa baby.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Eee aww Eee aww.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : How does one write a donkey sound.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I don't think I can improve on Eee Aww?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Only Eeyore himself.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I was today years old when I figured out his name is based on the sound of a donkey

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Whereas today, I learned my new favorite swear word! A day of firsts. Wanna hear it?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Read it. Whatever.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Of course!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Pissflaps.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Can you use it in a sentence?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Not without blushing.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : So we've decided Christmas is a pile of pisflaps this year. How are wee feling bout NYE?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : In order to BLEEP her first he had to move aside her pissflaps. YOU'RE WELCOME.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : that is fantastic. Annd dirty. I approve

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I knew you would

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : NYE is my last chance to win EMT bingo. I still need a foreign object inserted up the rectum.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Then I wish you all the 'I slipped and fell, 100 to 1 shot's in GH

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : How's Jenny and her son? Enjoying your visit?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : They're good. It's cold, but fun. Doug and i went swimming anyway. For like 2 whole minutes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Holidays are rough on them.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Yeah.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Holidays can suck it.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Agred

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Give them my love?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I will

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : thx

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I should have sent a gift as an apology. I wasn't thinking.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : No, its fine. Jenny understands.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : k

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Everyone is just getting hugs from me this year. I somehow forgot to shop.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : It someone didn't even occur to me? I realize that sounds terrible.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : we're good at this whole having a family thing aren't we?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : the best

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : So I get that one time angry sex doesn't mean anything necessarily. But I'm just checking: is angry sexting a thing?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Maybe if it's in all caps?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : 😠🍆!!!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : You took that to a whole new level. Where's the peach emoji?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : ::photo of Easton's naked butt instead, him looking over his shoulder in a mirror in a fancy all marble bathrrom::

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : 🧶

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : No wait, that's yarn.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Sorry, can't see your ass because of that BATHROOM.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm going to choose to take that as my ass looks like it's carved out of marble

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Like by Michelangelo's own hand.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : ...

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm looking forward to coffee.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Me too. Thanks for asking.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Thanks for saying yes.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : It is a rather remarkable ass

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm rather fond of it. I miss yours though.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : wait, I mean. I MISS YOURS THOUGH!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : IT MISSES YOU TOO. You still have scratch marks on your back? Picture wasn't high enough.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Sadly, they've faded. Might need a touch up?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : There may be an embarrassing conversation with Alexander later. Sorry. I mis-texted him.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Please tell you you sent your tits to alexander.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Shut up.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Not really. Don't shut up. I like you not shutting up.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : That's the spirit! Now you send a photo. (pretty sure that's how angry sexting works)

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Oh. I'm ruining it. Uh. ::image of Bennie pulling down shirt with one hand, hinting at boob pic without quiiiiite being the money shot::

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : TAKE THAT.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : You're too nice but I appreciate the effort.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : YOU BAD BOY.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : No, you're right. I suck at this.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : It's very endearing how bad you are at it though if it helps

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : If you think that failure is endearing then you should really see me play organized team sports.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm imagining you in tiny volleyball shorts and am embarrassingly into it. I'm buying you a pair on amazon now...

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Bikini top or sports bra?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : sports bra. Knee pads. It's a whole thing now

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Sand or court? I need to know if knee high socks are involved.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Court. You said team sports. Doubles sand volleyball is a whole other fantasy section of my mind.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Pigtails or pony.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Pigtails for indoor, pony for beach. I apparently have very specific thoughts on this

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Clearly I'm gathering insights into the inner workings of Easton Marshall's mind.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : A terrifying thought for all.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I dunno, it's working better for me than hate sexting.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Better than my butt?!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : BETTER THAN THIS BATHROOM?!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : The thought of you getting hot and bothered about me in volleyball shorts? Yes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : ... you don't happen to have any around you could put on for a pic real quick? 😅

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Let's just hope you have a prime account and shipped your little purchase to the station, because no, no I do not.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Done. With the knee pads.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I can certainly supply the rest. ::pic of Bennie in pigtails, bare shoulders up, biting her lip::

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Aaaaaand now I'm checking flights...

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : You sort of should be using your hands for something else right now.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : But I can reach you from here... oh. Maybe I'm also bad at this?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Can't

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Adorkable. When are you supposed to come back anyways?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : NYE.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Will you come see me?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I wouldn't recommend anyone try and stop me

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Then I guess I better clear my dance card.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Dancing with you is number 62 on the list of things I would like to do when I see you next.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : So long as kissing me at midnight is at the top.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : #1 is actually thumb wrestling, but #2 is in fact kissing you at midnight

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'll start limbering up. My thumb.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Joking aside, we're better together, you know? I want to fix this.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I do too.