2020-02-06 - Let's Be Monks

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Took Cavanaugh home.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : yeah I was texting him earlier, he said

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : said you took care of him

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Broke out with the fucking after care and everything.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : good job, Cruz. if you didn't I'd have to come over and kick your ass

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Yeah, yeah, and not in the fun way. I know. Lotta good that did me.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Next time I'll just take the beating. Would've made for a better morning after.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : not great, huh?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Look, we both know I'm no saint. But I'd rather not have the guy I just gave his first ride to in decades, his words, not get all moony over my unexpected house guest while he hasn't shit out my man mayo yet.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : first, never say that sentence again

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : second, de la Vega came over?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : First, that was fucking prose and second, it doesn't matter who it was. I have some pride.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : yeah but it was de la Vega.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : ugh. I bet he was getting moony right back.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : First, when did you start calling your love muffin by his last name. Second, if you knew why'd you ask.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : hell, I call him that in bed

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Because that's the image in need right now.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : you got to fuck both of them, c'mon

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : not that that excuses them being assholes

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : THANK YOU.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : christ. I'm so sick of Joe Fucking Perfect Cavanaugh

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Ain't nothing perfect about him, or he wouldn't have gotten the fucking red carpet treatment. I'd have screwed him in a bar bathroom and not be texting you about how pissed I am.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : They're SO FUCKING OBVIOUS about each other and it kills me

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : I'm about to bust out with reassuring you, and that sort of harshes my whole rant here.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : reassure ME?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : That Ruiz would rather chop off his own dick than disappoint you.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : ...goddammit, Cruz, don't make me cry

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : we're talking about you, let's go back to that part where Cavanaugh was busy mooning over him

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Yeah, tell me I'm a pretty fucking flower that deserves that same goddamn sunshine that was being beamed out Cavanaugh's eyes.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : you do, tateleh. You deserve all the goddamn sunshine

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : bet you gave it to him real good too

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Apparently not good enough. Had him trussed up like a Thanksgiving Turkey on my counter, too.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : oh jesus. go on

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : After you disparaged my poetry about spunk?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : You hurt my delicate feelings.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : trussing. counter. depositing said spunk.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : I tied him up with our belts. Hand and cock.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : well fuck that's hot

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : got a feeling he likes it real rough. maybe even like you.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Oh he does. Even offered to return the favor, but something tells me he'd stop when I would beg go.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : think so? I'm not so sure

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : something about him is messed the fuck up

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Not that I'm going to get a chance to find out.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : I can smell my own

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : That schnozz sure did sniff me out.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : you aren't gonna fuck him again?

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : okay to be fair, I wasn't expecting the, uh, finger in the wound part

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : figured you liked it rough but not quite that rough

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : He doesn't want me. Knew that the second your boy walked in the door.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : I have my moods.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : wouldn't say that, actually. but he's hung up on him that's for sure.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : fuck, would it be a total asshole move to tell de la Vega he can't have him?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : You really want to open that door? Or close it, as the case may be.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : I don't fucking know, man. not usually jealous like this, but de la Vega makes me want to snarl over him like a pit bull

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Then snarl. Just don't be surprised if he snarls right back.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : yeah that's okay by me

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Yeah? Cuz I think you have two girls that would ugly cry.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : just, shit, de la Vega's long lost war hero shuttle pilot boyfriend returns from the grave? what the fuck am I supposed to do about that?

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : You should've taken out my stitches is what.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Wait, shuttle like fucking astronaut shuttle?

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : yeah. like fucking flew a space shuttle.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Fuck it, let's go be monks somewhere.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : you banged an astronauts, grats

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : yeah well, maybe I'll give you some new stitches sometime.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : Promises, fucking promises. G'night, Rosie.

(TXT to Cristobal) Itzhak : night. see you in the Himalayas for our new life as monks.

(TXT to Itzhak) Cristobal : At least they get to drink beer.