2020-03-01 - Bee Tee Dubs

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Hey. So head's up. Katherine is in town. That Katherine.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm sorry. You've reached the phone of Bennie Oakes who is currently having a cardiac infarction. If you believe you've reached this message in error, please hang up and send cheesecake.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Well good, I was worried you'd freak out.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Stress eating dessert is not freaking out. Stress eating desserts is a perfectly normal coping mechanism.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : One I fully support. (No cardio infarctions tho)

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Mild palpitations?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Maybe once I tell you she's Thorne's lawyer and will be involved in the Casino deal?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : First, Casino deal? Second, this means she's staying? I think I'm ordering two cheesecakes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Casino deal. Surprise?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Remind yourself to get a boyfriend with two legs who can communicate next time.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I love this one. And he's doing just fine.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Thorne needed another investor.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : You're buying a Casino!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : That sounds insane.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : But yes. I'm buying a casino

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : It's kind of exciting and terrifying at the same time. But yes, completely insane, my father aside.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I know. So yes, Byron and I and other investors are going to be purchasing the casino. It's possibly going to open soon? It's been this huge deal but also needed to be very quiet

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I couldn't trust a better co-investor than Byron. It's probably a sound, if unimaginable to my tiny trailer park mind, investment.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Does this mean I can get a showgirl outfit!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : It's not a world I thought I'd be a part of. And if you thought I'd EVER say no to a showgirl outfit we need to have a very serious conversation about the state of our relationship

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : At least you can write off the CC bill for rhinestones and feathers as a business expense now.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I think my day severely pales in comparison to Multi-million dollar investments and Surprise Exes. Most I got is a headache.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Wait.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : How much of an investor are you, Easton?!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yea. A lot? A big one? Like Marshall Family Trust kind of investor, not reinvesting Deuce profits level.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm adding more rhinestones to my online shopping cart.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yea, don't get too excited most of that money gets tied up in corporations and going back to paying off the trust first.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : If I were that excited these would be diamonds, bb. Also. No way am I actually sewing one of these costumes. I mean, I got skills, but I think I'd end up looking more like a penguin instead of a beautiful swan.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : So diamonds and a showgirl outfit once the profits start coming in though?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : How about we just put some serious thought into renting that cute little A-frame cabin instead. Together?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Deal

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Together?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Together.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Do I get to set a maximum number of throw pillows per room?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : But if need more time I totally understand.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Can we get it as your place and decide later? Just don't want to be dumb and jump in because I missed you so damn much these last few weeks. I really want to say yes. Not sure it's well thought out yes?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : That is the most responsible thing I've ever heard you say. Of course. Yes.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I mean later yes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Don't worry, I'm mentally thinking about those slanty walls and sex positions. Just pretending to be responsible.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Pretty sure the 'A-Frame' is actually a Kama Sutra position. If not, you need to submit it.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Think we can convince Alexander it's a hammock if we install a sex swing?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : No. But I really want to see you try

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Ooh, a hammock! Buy me a hammock for my birthday.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Do you mean actual hammock, sex swing or banana hammock? Also hypothetically speaking, when is your birthday?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : April 18th. And would it be greedy to say all 3?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Good to know.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : OMG do you have to live at the Casino now? Are you going to start dressing in suits and big gold rings?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Are you becoming a mobster, Easton?!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm slicking back my hair right now.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Don Easton does have a ring to it.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Considering opening another TwiBS in the casino. There's at least one or two restaurant spaces open.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Two If By Slot Machines.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Three If By Craps? Then I'd have The Deuce and Craps. Because I'm 12

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I approve. But now I wonder where people go #1

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Need a One if by Land and call it the number one.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm trying to come up with another joke, and I just keep circling back to if an employee works in both locations, do you call them Shocker?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm trying really hard not to imagine any of my employees pulling that move right now. Thanks.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Get some terrifying mental images?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm looking at puppy videos with Gunner to get those out of my head. thanks.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Videos with Gunner in them, or is Gunner sitting next to you with his head all cocked to the side looking confused as little puppy noises are coming out of your phone?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : The second one.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Have you seen the one with the little white dog that goes like happy crazy set to the song Jump Around? Hold on I'm totally going to send it to you.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : https://www.facebook.com/anvil.higgins/videos/10156786715305698/

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : The corgis going under the bar instead of over is killing me.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : That is awesome. 🤘

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : SEND ME CORGIS.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : :🔗: The butt wiggle sells it

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : It always does. It's my signature move, in fact.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Also OMG that's so cute. Gunner needs a little brother.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Not in this apartment. Cabin maybe.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : The puppy I mean. The butt wiggle should be everywhere.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Butt wiggles for everyone!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Wait. No.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm a firm believer in everyone' right to wiggle their butt. I just don't want to have see it.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Still want a private show for later?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Always.