2020-03-18 - Fulfillment

(TXT to Itzhak) August : so. just had one of the most awkward conversations of my life.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : and it wasn't with me? i'm jealous

(TXT to Itzhak) August : honestly I would never have thought Ellie could out do you. she sure just did

(TXT to Itzhak) August : she was concerned about depriving me of dick

(TXT to Itzhak) August : in a long term sense

(TXT to August) Itzhak : what

(TXT to August) Itzhak : are you serious

(TXT to Itzhak) August : as in she was wondering if we'd need to consider swinging, or if she needed to give me a freebie night out in Seattle

(TXT to August) Itzhak : she...she knows the farewell to dick thing is a joke right?

(TXT to August) Itzhak : i'm crying laughing rn

(TXT to August) Itzhak : just fyi

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I tried to explain that this is like any other thing in monogamy, and like, I sure don't love dick more than her!

(TXT to August) Itzhak : I feel like I've somehow caused this to happen by being a messy slut

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I figured you would enjoy this. 😛 I think I convinced her that I can go without.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I didn't think of that. I'll reassure her I'm not you and am in fact capable of not jumping on a fantastic dick just because it's in reach

(TXT to August) Itzhak : she, uh, she knows all bi guys aren't me or de la Vega, right?

(TXT to August) Itzhak : god damn I can't even be insulted because its so true

(TXT to Itzhak) August : self awareness is a healthy thing. and maybe she doesn't, I guess if you run into enough people like I was in my 20s well

(TXT to Itzhak) August : it really began to go off the rails when she got into if I liked to top and would like a strap on.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : ....so do you?

(TXT to Itzhak) August : of course and of course but I'd honestly not gotten the impression she'd want to. so now while we're in Portland we'll be doing some shopping

(TXT to August) Itzhak : fuck, roen, stop making me picture that

(TXT to Itzhak) August : make you picture it, I'm the one who had to have a conversation with her about serious adult things while trying not to think about it

(TXT to August) Itzhak : jesus i'm gonna hyperventilate

(TXT to August) Itzhak : what a wonderful gift this conversation is

(TXT to Itzhak) August : this may or may not help, but she refused to buy sex toys in gray harbor

(TXT to Itzhak) August : sadly this is probably a wise thought

(TXT to August) Itzhak : oh christ, I didn't even think of that, but that's probably a good call???

(TXT to Itzhak) August : cursed dildos, no thank you.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : pretty sure that was in a D&D sourcebook i saw one time

(TXT to Itzhak) August : sounds like it would be. but on the long list of things of assumed would come up in a different context, this is near the top

(TXT to August) Itzhak : hahah you said top

(TXT to August) Itzhak : i mean, on the bright side, you're gonna have a wife who's willing to drill you

(TXT to August) Itzhak : and is concerned about the well being of your ass

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I tried to explain. yeah yeah but anyways I tried to explain I'm a 'likes to get my partners off as much as possible so whatever makes that happen', not sure it stuck

(TXT to Itzhak) August : that's true, and hey, now we're going dildo shopping, could be worse

(TXT to August) Itzhak : ok, but, why wouldn't it, she's been having sex with you

(TXT to Itzhak) August : tbh she's been here most of her life, can't be surprised she hasn't known a lot of queer dudes, so maybe she thinks it's different on some fundamental level

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I mean aside from the 'men are trash' level

(TXT to August) Itzhak : to be fair, men really are trash

(TXT to August) Itzhak : does she, uh, need to talk to me, or anything? so I can explain that just because I'm a total ho doesn't mean all queer guys are?

(TXT to Itzhak) August : we are, it's true.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea. I'll think about it, see how she's doing closer to thhe wedding and all.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : you lucky dog though

(TXT to August) Itzhak : gonna marry a girl who wants you to be fulfilled. literally

(TXT to Itzhak) August : right?? I was having a lot of trouble focusing on anything except 'wow she wants to make sure I don't miss dick too much'

(TXT to Itzhak) August : need to find out if mom has her mom's ring still

(TXT to August) Itzhak : well, you're surrounded by smoking hot guys, and all

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I am, it's true, but you're all a bit much for me now

(TXT to August) Itzhak : you're gonna give ellie your ma's ring? stop making me tear up

(TXT to Itzhak) August : ten years ago I'd be right there with you taking a strip out of whomever.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : yeah, it's a nice kind of older, rustic style I guess you'd call it

(TXT to Itzhak) August : unpolished stone

(TXT to August) Itzhak : aw man. I bet she'll love it

(TXT to Itzhak) August : thinking Hyacinth can make the bands, something titanium and wood

(TXT to August) Itzhak : ...told de la Vega about Bex wanting a baby. he thought that was the hottest thing ever?? but anyway he asked if I was gonna marry her. she didn't ask me to, but he seemed a little something about it

(TXT to Itzhak) August : he's probably worried about becoming a third wheel

(TXT to August) Itzhak : shit, Marshall even mentioned something like that to me

(TXT to August) Itzhak : of course being Marshall he was a prick about it

(TXT to Itzhak) August : ha. I bet he was

(TXT to Itzhak) August : it's not a surprise he'd feel that way, he lost his family and all

(TXT to August) Itzhak : ...sigh. why you gotta remind me he does these things because he's all ripped up inside

(TXT to August) Itzhak : makes me not want to punch him.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : eh because that way instead of punching him you take a different tack. and maybe you remember you are too, and cut yourself some slack at the same time

(TXT to August) Itzhak : ugh

(TXT to Itzhak) August : no ugh, everyone benefits

(TXT to August) Itzhak : he'd like it if I punched him. I'd like it too, it's win win

(TXT to Itzhak) August : liking it doesn't always mean it helps. you guys like that because it lets you not deal with the real issue

(TXT to Itzhak) August : he's scared to death of you bailing on him for a 'real deal', whatever that would even be

(TXT to August) Itzhak : jesus Roen don't call me out like this.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : okay but what WOULD that be????

(TXT to Itzhak) August : truth hurts! and the thing is, there probably isn't a real dear. a lot of fears like that, reality isn't involved. just gut instinct. same way prison did that to you, way did that to him and me. you stop thinking and start acting.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : * deal

(TXT to Itzhak) August : ** war

(TXT to Itzhak) August : we burned down that stupid Murray house, and I might have celebrated, do not judge me

(TXT to August) Itzhak : there ain't no real deal that he isn't! he's....shit, I'm so stupid for him, he's the realest there could possibly be

(TXT to August) Itzhak : wait what. you did it WITHOUT ME?? i'm never going to forgive you

(TXT to Itzhak) August : don't blame me, Minerva was determined to do it today. maybe the date was important? I don't know.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : the torn up shit makes him not believe that, I'm sure. or makes him forget. either way.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I wouldn't expect him to stop feeling that way any time soon

(TXT to August) Itzhak : oy. kills me to think that he's thinking I'm just waiting for the real thing to come along. he is the real thing. he's

(TXT to August) Itzhak : he's just. I love him, the putz.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : you'll just have to keep telling him that. occasionally with punching.

(TXT to Itzhak) August : okay I need to go, got some stuff to get done. get your ass home, we need to think about cutting these trees and making your violin.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : roger that. did great on the heats today.

(TXT to August) Itzhak : gonna miss the trees. I'm such a dork

(TXT to August) Itzhak : gnight, see you in a few days, yeah?

(TXT to Itzhak) August : we'll take cuttings, replant. like raising their kids. see you soon. take care.