2020-03-20 - Grenade Launchers are Legal and Safer than Hand Jobs

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I have questions.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Plural?

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I can't think of a time I had one single question once I've started with the questions. So yes, plural. Are you afraid?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : True. And not really. Should I be?

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Probably. But that's beside the point.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : So first things first, do you have a grenade?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : No. But I like where this is headed.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Alas. I'd like where it was headed a lot more if you had a grenade. But that's kind of hard to explain.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : ... can you make something that will blow things up?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Something is too vague. What do you want to go boom?

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I can blow things up, but I'm trying not to blow things up personally, see.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Actually that's a lie. I want to do it with accessories.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : But let's say... a tree stump!

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Also I swear, if you quote me about wanting to do it with accessories, I'll beat you.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : ... with accessories.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Lots of options. eh, you keep threating to punch me. Kinda think you're all talk at this point Lil

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Want kind of detonation you want? Throw and go? Remote?

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : You had a mullet, you were asking for it. By chance, did anyone complain about getting stabbed by darts? Because I accidentally did that.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Not that I know of? But good to know. As far as I'm concerned it's their fault for blocking the board.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Well. As fun as throwing blow up things would be, I think remote would be more satisfying for a big boom.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I sound like a fucking lunatic. Let's try this-- what do you have for boom gun destruction?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Are you flirting with me?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : I have a fifty cal with armor piercing rounds.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Which sounds a lot like I'm bragging about my dick.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Which I'm not. To be clear.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I mean, if you're riled, I can up the game with pics.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : IMG: https://tinyurl.com/yynpjz4r

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : But that... sounds kind of amazing to shoot. Does it wreck?

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : hot

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : ... I've never fired anything but rifles, handguns, and shotguns. Which is actually a nice spread, but...

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : It rips. It's so fucking good

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Yes. That's what I need in life, I think. So many bullets, it sprays like a woodchipper.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : ... I mean, unless you want to make a bomb.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Depends on the target.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I'll have to think on a bomb target. There is an old collapsing woodshed in the forest that could be fun, but I also feel like I shouldn't put you on a watch list with bomb making materials.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : What are the odds of you wanting to show me how to fire that bad boy? In a range. Like not-terrorists.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Technically grenade launchers are legal and safer than the hand jobs. If we have need I wouldn't be sad expanding my arsenal. The ammo is a bit tougher, but doable.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : A grenade launcher is safer than a hand job? Probably accurate.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I had to, it was RIGHT THERE.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : In the right/wrong hands, absolutely

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I guess I should explain I'm trying to stress relief in ways that don't include me breaking things from the inside out and flagging down all the shadowmans.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Oh!

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : And destroying things sounds strange, but it's just... like a heroin hit for me when I'm all knotted up inside. So, y'know, innovative outsourcing.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Shit, I assumed you had target in mind that needed eradicating. You just want to make things go boom, that's a lot easier.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Less exciting than explosive assassination, yes.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : ... we're screwed up.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Ha! I can't tell you how fucking in for this I am

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : See, I felt like you would be into blowing things up. I guess I could have lead with that.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : But good! It's double therapy now!

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : And it doesn't involve talking!

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I'm a girl, but not that much of a girl. I'd rather explode my feelings until they go away.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Don't know if you were serious about the heroin, but I wouldn't recommend.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : But shooting stuff? I heartily recommend.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Look, I've seen Requiem for a Dream during my formative years, heroin is the ass2ass doombringer.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Also DiCaprio in Basketball Diaries blowing guys at a bus stop for junkie fixes was a nice additive.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : But okay, I'm into this. You're into this. We should make this destruction thing happen.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : agreed

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Excellent. I'll let you plan maximum effect boomstuff. And I'll buy a lot of gourds and fruit. (it looks cool when you shoot a melon, ok shhhh)

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Hell yes it does.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Dont underestimate a jug of water either.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Or red wine... actually, that's me trying too hard to make things look like blood, I should stop that.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Anyway, lemme know when you're prepped and free. I'm glad I got to brighten your day.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : You want blood, take up hunting.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Not a bad idea, but... I feel like... I'd lure the megaboss deer or something here.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Maybe talk to Roen? I'm not much of a gamesman. And I'll pass on the blood

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Hm. I feel like that comes with a talk about how hunting is part of respect for the circle of life and forest and tracking shit trails. But maybe. I'm happy with explosion potential for now.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : I'm going grocery shopping like a good little woman now that I've planned for mayhem.

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Talk soon.

(TXT to Lilith) Easton : Probably. Buy a watermelon for me!

(TXT to Easton) Lilith : Heard!