2020-06-05 - Take the Long Way Home

Exiting Two if By Sea with the legal documents in hand, Byron unlocks the car door with his key fob, making sure that Lilith is seated before rounding to the back and opening up the trunk where he sometimes keeps his briefcase. This is what he carefully stuffs all of the paperwork Easton had written out and signed into, before grabbing the briefcase and making his way towards the driver's seat. All the while, his mind is moving from his various concerns.

First of all, the Asylum was gone and Bennie wasn't sure what happened to the patients within.

Secondly, it's been a week since Easton's disappearance and he still has not shown back up in Gray Harbor.

Thirdly, and this is when he turns to look at Lilith: Lilith didn't seem to be feeling very well after healing Bennie just moments ago.

With the ignition on, the interior lights within the Wraith all lit up, before even working to pull out of the parking space, he asks, "Are you sure you're okay? We can get something to eat if you're feeling lightheaded and something light if you're feeling nauseous or ill."

"I'm perfectly healthy and have no appetite, food won't be necessary." Lilith claims to Byron with a certain quiet curt finality about it after getting settled in the car and putting her handbag down into the floorboard after checking and dropping her phone inside it. Her hand goes back to playing through her hair and her head leans against the glass of the window as she partially turns that way to look out at the parking lot and establishment, the seaside, the stumbling guy probably going to take a piss around the building... anywhere but Byron.

The brunette's features are set to a combinations of hard, pensive thought and passive emotional poker face, but most of that is kept in profile and partially obscured by the pull and play of her dark hair over a shoulder and across her cheek each time fingers pull through the strands. Emptily, she tacks on politely, "I won't complain if you stop and get something for yourself on the way back to the apartments." As she expects him to start backing up out of the parking spot, her hand drops from her hair to rest against the other with cupping curl and pressured partial wring, resuming the silence that was on her during the walk to the car.

Byron makes no sign of affirmation or agreement. No 'mmhmm' or anything of that sort to what Lilith says. He keeps his eyes on her for a few moments longer, before turning to look behind the car to see whether another vehicle was approaching. "I wasn't kidding about pasta. I might pick something up before we get home." He then backs the car on out, before straightening it on the road and making their way out of the parking lot.

"I'll pick something up for you in case you change your mind later." It's all small talk and for now, he keeps his focus on the road. Since his encounter with the phantom police car, he's made it a habit to check his rear view mirror every so often out of paranoia in the case that the car will make an appearance again.

"I really hope Easton can find his way out of there. And soon."

"I hope so." Lilith doesn't say anything to the pasta planning, she massages between thumb and forefinger with the fingers of opposing hand while they rest against her denim-clad lap. When Byron expresses his sentiment about Easton returning, though, she does finally speak while staring out of the window. Her voice was quiet and passive with no real tinge of emotion the few times she piped up, but this time, when she speaks those three words, she sounds like she means it despite the soft volume of her voice. Lilith feels sick, remembering what being Lost felt like, even though she ended up out and free at the end of those terrible days.

"I'm not sure people can ever get over that kind of loss." Lilith says after a moment, glancing down at her hands instead of out of the window, it all feels too busy out there all of a sudden in motion while she's trying to keep her own head and vision and thoughts straight. But eventually, she goes back to looking out of the window, "And I'm not sure what to think about the Asylum news." Among other news.

At one of the stop lights, Byron puts in an order through an app for some sort of linguini or chicken alfredo. Possibly even both. "I ordered us a tiramisu, just in case." That's a singular order, with her loss of appetite, perhaps they can share. With the light turning green, he continues on down the road. There's a decent Italian restaurant right here on Bayside.

"You mean, Bennie?" He asks, half-turning to capture the, not exactly serene, but somewhat concerned look on Lilith's face. "Yeah." After a few passing seconds, his eyes are on the road again. "I didn't know what to tell her. We don't have a good record for people returning from there. Just you. And you fought tooth and nail to come back to us." He slowly turns to look on her again, his gaze holding on longer this time. "I... I don't know what I would do if you disappeared again." And while he didn't want to bring it up then, he does so now, gaze face forward once more, "And I don't know if I have any hope in Easton returning to us. It's..."

He didn't want to bring this up either, but now that they are no longer in Bennie's presence, he does so, "You remember Elias Weber, right? The guy who's family owns the book shop. Supposedly, they are a family of witches or something." That was what was going around for years now. "From what I've heard and I haven't reached out to check, he didn't get off the Ferry the night of the Sitka grand opening. So... I..."This is where his jaw tightens somewhat, his lip forming a thin line and he breathes in heavily through the nostrils. "I know that it can't be helped. There's no time to let anyone else know when you're being swallowed up by the Veil or even into a Dream. But if we're separated," His eyes are on Lilith again, "Just be careful. I'll have my guys on a much shorter leash, but I don't even know how much any security detail is going to help."

"Mhm, Bennie, of course." Lilith nods a little bit at the tiramisu, then hums passively to Byron's question of clarification, but not without flinching a little bit, which she plays off with a rub underneath her nose while frowning. But he's driving and just finishing up with his phone app and it's a brief thing, she's glued that crack of feeling right the fuck back to sit in quiet, absently working her bottom lip between her teeth with subtle, but bruising turns of slow pressure. When he asks her about Elias, she nods again, indicating that yes, she knows who he's talking about and she's heard the witches thing from somewhere, she thinks, a while back.

But when he says that Elias himself never got off of the simple ferry ride back from the casino just the other night, she finally stops staring out of the window to stare at Byron, instead. Then he's talking about ramping up security on her, which she already doesn't handle very well because it feels weird and invasive even when they're at a distance to basically just ensure she's alive and in sight. Turner goon-safety and Byron's own piece of mind is the only reason she really abides. This current topic and problem, though, isn't something she feels can be guarded or controlled or safeguarded against. After watching Byron's face a moment, her jaw twitches with subtle tension before she looks back out of the window.

"My whole life has been a fight. You'd think that'd make me more ready for the inevitable moment everything falls apart." Lilith says to Byron after a moment of far away expression, words a touch drifting before she picks up more solidly, "I always feel blindsided and surprised, deep down. You'd think I'd know better." The woman's dark head tilts back to rest against the glass, watching the lights of other cars flash and pass and turn, "Sometimes, I try to figure out why I deserve it. Here and there, I start to believe I know why and I start to agree. But in the end, there's just the fight, isn't there?"

After a thick pause, Lilith lifts a hand up under her hair to rub the flat of her palm and curl of fingers against one side of her pale neck, "We give those moments hell and remember why we want to keep fighting."

If one person vanishes without a trace in Gray Harbor, well, it's difficult to say that it's a normal phenomena, but despite the sadness and grief to follow, that sort of thing is not unheard of. This, however, is something that had happened before. "First Easton and now Weber?" He murmurs, keeping one hand on the wheel as he eases the vehicle down the stretch of road, before steering the car into the parking lot of said Italian Restaurant. Pulling up into a spot beside the building, he shuts the engine down, waiting for the servers to come out and deliver his meal. This gives them some time to talk without his attention being on the road ahead.

"It reminds me a little of the year Mrs. G. vanished after Isidore Reede did." Picking up on something Lilith had said, he decides to ask, "Why you deserve being hounded by Veil monsters who keep tormenting you every step of the way." Despite the car not being in motion, his hands remain resting on the steering wheel. "I'd say, in my experience anyway, that the only way to break free of this madness and to not tempt fate is to leave town. But as you can see, no matter where we ran off to, we were just drawn back here anyway."

Curious about something, he once again turns to Lilith, studying her face within the darkened vehicle, "Why do you think you deserve it?"

"It's not just about the monsters. It's life. I imagine we all reap what we sow, eventually." Lilith says to Byron after listening to his words and continuing to stare out of the window with her head at leaning, even when they're parked. But it takes her a moment to make that answer, silence playing out with her constant stillness and turns of small fidgeting she catches and redirects from time to time, "It doesn't really matter so much what I think or believe. We can make ourselves believe anything. We can believe in a change of tracks or light at the end of a tunnel, but the cold, hard truth is, some of us never really get those things."

Pulling up her head slowly, Lilith looks at her purse on the floorboard between her ankles and legs, then she undoes her seatbelt to lean forward and get it, "Sometimes the lies and hope and fight feels good, though. I start to forget that the odds are generally always stacked out of my favor." She pops the door lock and opens the passenger door soon after to start to get out, hand digging into the contents of her purse while she makes to vacate, "I'm sorry for your loss. I am. I wish I'd known. It wasn't fair for me to find out while you shared it with someone else, though. And I'm not going to sit here and be subject to the heartbreaking fucking elephant in the car you'd rather not address. I think I'm due to walk."

Her words are still quiet, her movement is still calm, but when she reaches for that door handle, she's violently starting to shake with the adrenaline of being overwhelmed.

Byron's not even sure what Lilith is going on about now, but he sensed this weird aloofness from her, something which he's been getting used to more and more as of late, to know that something was on her mind. He has some ideas, but after everything Bennie had told them in regards to Easton, he expected Lilith to be worried about the Lost and how the Veil can take anyone at any moment. He was /not/ expecting her to make such a huge deal about Vivian. Not that he didn't know that she was surprised by it, when he'd brought it up, but her reaction now catches him totally by surprise.

"You've got to fucking kidding me." He murmurs to himself, his own annoyance rising. "It wasn't fair? For you?" Quietly seething himself now, he shakes his head at this madness. "Why should I concern /you/ about something that you have nothing to do with. Why burden you with someone else's bad decision? She could have gone home, but she stubbornly stayed. None of that is on you." Then Lilith has the audacity to try and leave the car after everything they'd just discussed and Byron quickly leans over for the handle to keep the door shut, "You're really going to walk right now? At this hour? After there's already been several disappearances?"

He then quickly states, "I didn't think I /needed/ to address it. Not that I was ignoring it. Not that I was keeping it a secret from you." Eventually, his tone quiets and while he's incredibly frustrated by the way she's been acting as of late, he tries to at least get her to think about what she's doing. "Lil, come on. You know that I'm not letting you walk home. I can't. If something happened to you.."

Lilith knew she'd be painted the cunt for daring to say anything, it's why she tried to keep calm all this while. Because the thing is, she is very scared of the Veil right now. And she may have been playing denial, but she KNOWS her powers just went on the fritz in a way she can't explain and she has no idea what that means or if she can contain them while she's like this. She's very worried about what it means for people to start disappearing back to back, knowing they're a target, and she even took the time to tuck it all back and address what was due, despite what she feels.

Compounding issues probably have everything to do with how she's reacting, along with the fact she's been fighting hard to tuck and beat her impulses into submission while she's unknowingly compromised in that department with the mark left by the Vivisectionist. She was trying to control herself, but some battles are so rigged sometimes, the defense becomes the offense and everything blows up.

Lilith doesn't say any of that. The woman stares at Byron like she can't believe what's coming out of him when he tells her it isn't her concern or business... that he thinks it's NORMAL to have his girlfriend of however many years disappear for dead while they're together and for her not to KNOW or tell her his feelings about how HORRIBLE that is. It's probably not about Vivian as a person at all. He also blindsided her with it and shared that vulnerability with someone right in front of her face and decided to say NOTHING about it right after. He never even came to her with the respect of general knowledge so she wouldn't find out from a third party or detective and feel like a shut-out after all these months.

But honestly, the fact that they were having an affair right before it happened, a very public-style affair that closed deal right after, the fact she knows Vivian probably has family that WILL come from the outside looking in at all that...

That's what has Lilith shaking. She doesn't feel guilty, she's horribly heartbroken he couldn't even SAY it to HER, sure, that he truly thinks she has no business knowing, which totally implies there's no actual WE about their life. But that's not the issue. Grant fucking Turner is the ultimate issue to deal with in regards to this and she's about to have a breakdown thinking about what he could do. The man is a desperate, insane and vengeful billionaire with all the impossible yes-men in power at his whim, every single source of means in the world, what if he knew? She'd be dug into as a criminal and dragged in the mud at his whim, Byron's whole LIFE could be ruined with that door open and unprotected and unacknowledged if Turner angles it right and pays the right people.

They live in a bubble where these things happen in Gray Harbor, they know what these disappearances mean, but the Veil also protects its own. It's easy to forget the outside world and everything about it still exists, but she's sharply reminded. Right now, she knows with a stone cold dread in her stomach that it's only a matter of time before he gets what he needs and runs with it. She can't do a goddamn thing about the Veil and she can't control disappearances and all the other things that she's afraid of, but if she can get ahead of the situation and control Turner...

When Byron reaches for the door handle to stop her, the only words that really stick with her while she's shaking and overwhelmed and ready to flee in the name of letting things out and processing what to actually feel or do about ANY of this... is the part where he reminds her what life would be like for him if she does this and disappears in any regard. He wouldn't forgive himself and he'd never forget, no matter how much she imagines he can forge onward in that way of his. Quietly, she stills, closes her eyes for a long moment, then drops her purse back into the floorboard before replacing her seatbelt.

Grant Turner is the least of Byron's concerns right now, with the threat of Veil disappearances looming heavily over the town. His security team could handle Turner or any of his goons if they showed up in town. They wouldn't be able to protect Lilith from being sucked into the Veil or a Dream. Unless, maybe, if they shone brightly too. Byron sees the car in the distance watching them and he knows that they would follow Lilith if she did leave tonight, because he would make sure that they did. But why take that risk?

His hand still on the door handle, Byron has a better look at her face, being this close. He can see her own anger to go with that cold shoulder that she's been giving him since TiBS. Obviously, Byron hates seeing her like this, but he was upset too now. He could've told her to walk if she wanted to and that spite inside of him after the explosion that just happened is almost tempted to do just that, but the part of him that would do almost anything for Lilith is what prevents him from doing so right now.

When it doesn't look like she's about to bolt, he watches her strap back into her seat. It's at that time where the server from the restaurant comes out with their order.

Byron has a lot to say about the disappearance of Vivian Glass, but he knows that right now is not the time. Not when their anger was already this flared up. She can see the tension in him as well, the deep exhales of frustration as he watches her with the intensity of his stare, his expression quite vexed. Slowly turning in the direction of the server who is making his way out to the driver's side, he lifts Lilith's chin to tilt her face back in a mostly gentle motion, "I'll tell you everything later, alright? Just..." There's a knock on the driver side window, "Just... stay with me." Slowly, he leans in, placing a kiss at the side of her lips, before he's forced to roll down his window and procure the delicious smelling pastas, the aroma filling the interior of the car.

Whatever the server may have seen, Byron looks calm and collected by the time the exchange is made. He even forces a smile, "Thanks. Sorry for the delay." Turning to set the package down in the backseat, he takes another look over at Lilith, his hear was still racing with the idea that she was just about to make the trek, alone, in the darkness, so clear in his mind. One of his hands sets down on the back of one of Lilith's, giving hers a little wordless squeeze, before he starts the engine up again, ready to take them both home.

Lilith doesn't bother explaining all the reasons she's so upset, despite the motivational misunderstandings and trust issues they seem to be butting heads over at the moment. She doesn't bother correcting Byron's impression of why she felt she suddenly needed to walk and say something about what felt like a relative and emotional slap in the face during the middle of a hurricane. Everything is going wrong. She can't explain the tightness in her chest, the way her head is raging to tempt the terrible fates and get out anyway. She isn't explaining the lack of trust over the ability to contain herself or her powers, or... that she's terrified and close to hopeless. The woman is having a rare moment of PTSD where the rampant fight inside dies from living life like this over and over and over.

Lilith always shares these things with Byron, the things she won't say or feel with anyone else in life. She doesn't have it in her anymore, not right now, it's hard to have the heart-- she feels he insists on keeping himself a little bit of a stranger this time around while she's tries to break the lifelong mold of being a pulled-back shell and stranger with everyone her whole miserable little life. She supposes she's had it coming a long time and the signs have probably been there, she's just been ignoring them or doesn't understand. But she wanted to be happy so badly, to feel right and loved and secure so much... she should have known it was probably damaged from the start.

She also knows next time she's snared and Lost, she won't get to fight for a second chance, she knows how hard it was to fight the siren song of hopelessness with only herself to draw comfort and strength from while tested and taxed, she barely made it out whole. That won't happen again, it's just not how life works, is it? She already beat the odds. There's no love or passion that can stop any of this from happening, there's no such thing as happy endings, they won't have their dog, the beautiful bratty kids to be proud of, their cat doesn't even like her. Everything is a matter of time and everyone loses in the end. That's why it's called the end, isn't it?

Lilith's brain and way about turning misery and fears into an inward, self-flogging attack is full lambaste and she can't really control her trembling hands even while they're resting. She can't help but feel the kiss and want it to lie to her, to make it the thing that makes everything else okay. She can't help but be grateful for the pressure and feel of Byron's hand in squeeze or the content of his words. Stay. Stay. Stay.

With me.

The brunette woman is very still and behaved and quiet while Byron makes the polite exchange. But when he pulls out to drive, she starts to sob and leans over to bury her face into his upper arm, trying to hide and muffle or silence it, to make all the horrible fears and terrible hopeless thoughts stop. It's probably alarming, she pretty well never cries, let alone sobs. But Lilith can't help it right now. She sobs about it all, she sobs for older missing strangers and friends, for Elias, for Easton, for Vivian even. She sobs for Bennie and Byron and Tobin and Isabella as the standing casualties on the proximity, she sobs about the way she hurts inside and the way she can't trust, especially when it comes to trusting herself.

Lilith sobs because she doesn't know what tomorrow is going to be like or how it all ends, she sobs because she can't help but feel it's the beginning of the end in the ways that matter most. She couldn't even explain why she feels that way if she had the breath to try. But she stays. And she begs and begs over and over every time she's able to get a word out, she begs Byron not to get alarmed and stop, to keep driving for as long as it takes, perhaps. It feels like the only safe place in the world, suddenly, the car that can drive them away from all of this and take them anywhere.

"I'm here. Don't stop. Please. Keep driving."

Both the casino and the restaurant were just down the road from the Bayside Apartments, so it wouldn't be much longer until they reached home base. Byron's mind was bothered and he was trying his best not to lose his patience or his temper with her. He should have mentioned Vivian's disappearance to Lilith despite their animosity towards one another, but it didn't occur to him at the time. Unlike Bennie, he didn't put out a Missing Persons flyer, but he did reach out to the GHPD, several of Vivian's patients that he knew of and so forth. Maybe he didn't do enough, the way Bennie was doing now.

When Lilith disappeared, he scoured the town, performing mental reads in every section of Gray Harbor when he had the time to pull away from the Masquerade. With Vivian, he'd started that, initially, but months passed and there was no sign of her at all. It's hard to say when people's disappearances are voluntary or not. But why would she want to be trapped on the other side? And still, who would she need to contact to even make that happen.

One name comes to mind.

When Lilith leans into his arm, she can feel just how tense he is despite it all. By now, he's pulling out of the parking lot, heading down the road back to the Apartments. He's just about to turn and smile at her, thinking that all was forgiven. That is until she starts to cry. Her body trembled against him in her deep sobs. His right hand leaving the steering wheel for a time, he reaches over in an attempt to draw Lilith into a hug against him, all while steering single-handedly. "Lil, are you.. we're almost home."

Does he feel bad about upsetting her this much? Of course, he does. He might be all about himself and his successes and achieving his goals and protecting both his secrets and the empire which he's built, but that didn't mean that he had no heart. In truth, he loved Lilith. Really loved Lilith. To the point of obsession when they were young. Now he had her back, making him feel like the man who could obtain anything and everything that his heart desired. So yes, he feels terribly that this, everything, was enough to make her crack and to break down and cry.

Leaning towards the side while keeping an eye on the road and a steady hand on the wheel, he turns to press a kiss into her hair, before he has to withdraw the draping arm, grabbing onto the wheel once more.

The Wraith drives pass the Bayside Apartments, following the full length of Bayside Road leading out of town. In fact, he doesn't come to a stop until they're several towns over, pulling into the parking lot of some fancy hotel. By then, the food was cold, but it could easily be heated up again. This place was away from it all. Away from Gray Harbor. Here, they will unwind and spend the night and Byron will do his beset to console her in his arms until they both fall asleep.