2020-08-05 - The Great Ficus Crisish of 2020
"Daisy, you can't leave now. All the plants are gonna die!"
IC Date: 2020-08-05
OOC Date: 2020-01-28
Location: 4G Network
Related Scenes: None
Plot: None
Scene Number: 4996
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Help! You said you got a plant guy. I need a ride to the plant guy I got a dead ficus citrus!
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Crisis
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Oh shit it's a bad day, Charlie Brown. It's not even mine
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: What's fish plant duder's number??
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You have a dead... ficus.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Which is not yours.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Suddenly? What did you do, feed it a Hot Pocket?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Daisy left me in charge of her plant dude thing
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'm stoned as balls and Daisy is comeing home in... eventually. I dunno how time works right now but I promised her I would water it so I stuck it in the bathtub and now it's unhappy with meeeeeeeeeeeee
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: and my shoe is missing. I'm so sorry
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Depending which shoe, I may not be sorry in the least.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: (...)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Have you ever considered being less stoned, Bax?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: All right, we'll see if August can help it. Have you taken it out of the bath yet?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Uhhh sec
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: (...)
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: It was in the microwave
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Look I have had a really stressful week man and I have been trying to be responsible. I didn't have to like go nowhere. It's just me. It's fine. I stuck it in the tub so I wouldn't forget.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Your shoe was in the microwave?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Yeah it was wet. Long story
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Had you microwaved it?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I dunno. It's dry now though.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Well at least now I'm less worried you might be standing in a tv dinner, I suppose.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: It was on a paper towel. Don't freak out. I'm stoned not stupid.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: What'd you need anyways? I forgot to ask
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I'm so sorry I'm the worst right now
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I know you're not stupid. And I am not freaking out, thank you. I am sighing. And trying to figure out why it being on a paper towel would make a difference, except perhaps to prevent the sole from melting onto the turntable.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I don't need anything. You apparently need a ficus doctor.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: (typing... deleteing... typing...)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: All right. First, get a towel. Put it on the floor in the bathroom. Take the ficus out of the tub if you've not and put it on the towel. I will text August and see if he has a moment to help you with you ficus crisis. Or at least advice. Yes? We will sort out your friend's tree one way or another.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I didn't just want to put a shoe on a plate. People eat on those
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: (...)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Do you know, that had not even crossed my mind as the alternative? But of the two, yes, I feel you chose correctly.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Thanks. I feel a little better.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Really thank you
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: You're welcome, darling.
(TXT to August) Vyv: Sorry to bother you, but have you got a moment?
(TXT to Vyv) August: I am stuck in the hospital with a stab wound, I have all the moments and drugs I could ever need but don't want. what's up.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Okay it's heavy af from being in the tub so I got some wood to put it on and it fell over.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Pretty sure it's dead though so it doesn't mind.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I apologized tho. Can you ask Mr. Roen about how to apologize to plant ghosts? We doing this right? We have to sacrifice a bag of gummi bears or something
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Can you even make those? That'd be so amazing.
(TXT to August) Vyv: A stab wound? Sorry to hear things have been so interesting. I hope you're recovering well. Mn. Well. Apparently Bax's friend left him in charge of her ficus. He promised to water it, and put it in the bathtub. He thinks it's now dead. Any advice on reviving drowned plants, if possible? Should we call one of your employees in?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Can I make gummi bears? Yes, I suppose so. Why would that be the proper sacrifice to a tree ghost, if they exist? And did anything break when it fell over?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: No i'm okay. It didn't fall on me. And I dunno. They sounded good right about now and sacrificing people is kinda frowned upon.
(TXT to Vyv) August: eh it's what you get in this town. go check out some weird statues in the catholic church, get stabbed. lesson learned: church sucks. but thanks. I'm getting there, ellie should be able to bust me out any day now.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Dude you know I rant eh math and if gummi worms and bears lived in the same world you're looking scalewise at Gummi Arakkis. That's scary as hell. There's so many in one fucking bag dude
(TXT to Vyv) August: hm, I assume there was water in this bathtub. was it hot? that's cook the roots pretty good. otoh probably don't need hot water, the soap scale alone would do it. root rot kind of takes longer to set in so unless it's been like this for weeks, probably water was too hot or the leftover soap
(TXT to Vyv) August: in any case, one of the folks at the shop could have a look at it, see how much can be saved. finch is your best bet, she can, ah, handle stuff like that, let's call it, if an unconventional solution is acceptable.
(TXT to August) Vyv: As soon as the word 'weird' gets in there, we probably ought to run. And yet we so rarely seem to. What room are you in?
(TXT to August) Vyv: Ugh, I didn't even think to ask about the temperature. Surely he would have chosen cold, or at most lukewarm?
(TXT to August) Vyv: (...)
(TXT to August) Vyv: Thank you. I'll ask him. And then possibly see about finding her.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Gummi Arakis would be terrifying. Although spiced gummi candy doesn't sound like a terrible idea. When you put the tree in the bath, what temperature water did you use?
(TXT to Vyv) August: it's true, weird means run for it. except I wanted to know what was up with the statues. answer: some asshole with a knife. and a gun, he also shot someone, just that wasn't me.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I love everything about that sentence
(TXT to Vyv) August: room 506 is my prison cell.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I dunno. cold? I wasn't making soup. You don't do that in a tub unless you are making a lot of soup. I'm the only one here. I don't even think I can eat that much soup, babe
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: God soup sounds good doesn't it. You want to soup with me this weekend?
(TXT to August) Vyv: Someday that's going to be the fatal flaw for all of us, I suspect. Wanting to know what's up with whatever it was that gets us. And yet. I'm glad you weren't shot, at least. Is whoever was also recovering? Anyone I know?
(TXT to Vyv) August: yeah, it sure is, isn't it? curiosity, etc., except I'm not sure satisfaction'll be enough to bring us back. anyhow. I assume she is, no one's said otherwise. that bartender from TIBS who can't make drinks.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Good. If anyone can eat a bathtub of soup, it probably IS you, but no, don't try it. Think of all the soap. Which, apparently, is likely to be part of the tree's problem.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: We can do soup this weekend though, yes. Though if it's very hot out I vote gazpacho. Do you know a Finch?
(TXT to August) Vyv: Having now spent time as a cat I'm not sure whether I ought to be being more careful about curiosity, or more hopeful about the resurrectional powers of satisfaction. I don't think I know that bartender, but I suppose someone getting shot isn't really worth the trade for temporarily improved drink service.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Man I should have watered this thing before it died. It really would have been a lot easier than trying to revive it
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Yeah I went to school with her. I thought she spoke bird not plant.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: I guess she could be bi-lingual
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Hold on, let's sort out the order of things here. It was equally dead before you put it in the bath?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Uhhh I'm asking
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: (...)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: ...whom are you asking?
(TXT to Vyv) August: I guess it depends on why she got shot, and the pain meds make it hard for me to concentrate on the details. she kinda tossed herself at the guy, so who knows. I figure I'll get out of here first, so heal her a little as a 'thanks for trying to not let Itzhak develop a 10" hole in his chest'
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: The plant, Vyv.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: It didn't answer so I'm assuming yes. Not a wiggle or nothing. I mean I guessed it was at the time. Also, why else would it need this much water to make it green and leafy again.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I would not expect a dead plant to be much of a conversationalist. Do they usually answer you? None have ever said a word to me.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I'm going to have to come over there, aren't I.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Me either. but I'm also not good with plants
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Can you bring gummi bears?
(TXT to August) Vyv: I suppose it does, yes. I take it Itzhak has not joined this epidemic of non-standard bodily perforation, though? That's good, at least.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: For me, not the plant.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Oh shit ask Mr. Roen if he knows if platy people can tell if you replace their plant with like one that looks just like it. That might work.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Also how much is a Operation: Goldfish ficus?
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: No. I haven't got any gummi bears and I'm not buying the sort they'd have in Safeway. I'll bring you something better, though. I'm fairly sure we can afford a ficus impostor if it comes to it, but I'll ask on the other bit.
(TXT to Vyv) August: no, was just me and her busted up. lyric and that new guy, rowan, were both fine. thank god.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: You're bringing me a you? 🙂
(TXT to August) Vyv: In the event that the ficus is beyond help, Bax would like to know whether 'plant people' can tell if one plant is replaced with another of similar appearance.
(TXT to August) Vyv: Well, that's better than all of you being hurt, yes. I've not met the new guy yet, but I see he's getting the proper local tour.
(TXT to Vyv) August: I am sad to report we can. but unless the entire ficus is 100% dust, finch or I can, ah, let's say work with less than you might think.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Well, yes. Not quite what I had in mind, but I do like to think I outrank flavoured gelatine.
(TXT to August) Vyv: Really? That is good to know, thank you.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: She'd likely be able to tell, I'm afraid. But he says that he or Finch are likely to be able to help it unless it's turned entirely to dust. It hasn't, I presume?
(TXT to Vyv) August: sure thing. don't worry, we got your backs. no one will come home to a dead ficus.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: They can reconstitutionalize it? That's bad ass. He should start a business doing that. Or weed. he'd make a killing. Let him know.
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: And thanks ya know
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: For still loving me when my brain's not working right and cooperating with me
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: That's for you. Don't tell him that. That'd be weird.
(TXT to August) Vyv: We very much appreciate that. And Bax would also like me to suggest that you could make a killing reconstituting plants, particularly weed, so please consider this thought passed on. Recover swiftly, yes?
(TXT to Vyv) August: I could make a killing, except then They would make a killing, so would I really get to enjoy it? probably not. and no problem, will do.
<FS3> Vyv rolls Composure (7 7 6 5 4 2 2 1 1) vs Vyvlish (a NPC)'s 4 (8 7 6 5 4 1)
<FS3> DRAW! (Rolled by: Vyv)
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Extra weird being passed on from me, yes.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: And you're ridiculous, darling, but you're welcome. I'll be there in ten to fifteen.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: Is your floor all wet?
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: Not all of it
(TXT to Vyv) Grant: ❤️ That's why the gods of Kitchen and Bath made towels.
(TXT to Grant) Vyv: I'll go with my work shoes all the same.
Tags: