2020-11-13 - Cute Gerbils, Bro

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : (picture sent of himself, shirtless and flexing his most average arms with shockingly average biceps with a rat in a sun dress balanced on one, and a guinea pig in bonnet on the other. The shoulder scars starting to lose the bright pink. So many on the guy like a meat puzzle.)

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : When you get home I have something for you to check out

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : selfie of a rather confused expression Did you get the wrong number, Señor Probably As High As I Am?

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Ooooh shit, dude! wrong bird! That was for Finch

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Hey, at least your pants are on. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : I did it too. It's that bloody green haze. I texted the chief of police asking for a play date. He promised me brownies.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : My fil? Makes fucking good brownies. Ask him for the soup!

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : shit man no one wants to see my legs. You're safe. I was making lunch. I figured out what tehe bubbles in spaghetti sauce taste like

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : It's brownies. Pity brownies or no, I'll take 'em. I am out of cupcakes. The shop doesn't HAVE any more cupcakes. Because everyone else is high too. Tomato?

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : I'm making a whole soup made out of the bubbles of spaghetti sauce

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Oh you tried this experiment too?

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : No, I don't cook. That's why I followed you home that day, remember? You fed me. You feed me, you keep me. Them's the rules. Oh god, I can't think straight. I was reading a student essay earlier and I kept reading the same sentence over and over and the only thing that was on my mind was a picture Itzhak sent me of himself in a very short dress and now I kinda wanna wear a dress only I know I'd never actually do it but I should totally be allowed to do it if I wanted to.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : We can keep you. Abuelita might make you a bonnet though

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Itzhak does it

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : And pretty well too, from what people are saying. You know people are saying a lot of things lately? It's like everyone is so high the filters are all gone. When this blows over we're all going to hide in our rooms for a week.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : You hide. I say we get pastel outfits and go singe The Candyman Can at Vydal's place until he come up with the cupcakes

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : ... Cupcakes.

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : I'm in.

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Let's mug him.

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Assault by sugar deprived Europeans commencing.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : that's a mugcake not a cupcake. You have to use a cup

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : I'll cup anyone who gets between me and the mugcakes.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : you ever wonder about cupcakes man?

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : ... Yes.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : pancakes are made in a pan but cupcakes aren't made in a cup. Or are they?

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Yes! They are! Or they were! I have this Chinese friend who makes them in cups and bake them in the microwave! Or had. Back at university. They're probably back in China now. But they made great cupcakes.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : you went to China for school? You're more traveled than I am

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : No, he went to Copenhagen U for a year or two, I don't remember, we mostly talked about politics and history and how to make things at 3 am in the student dorm when all you have is pasta, ketchup and a bag of frozen mushrooms

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : All you have? You mean all you need

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Then we'd get drunk on Korean lemon and lime soju and talk about girls

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : What were they up to?

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Who, the girls? Dunno, Nianzu just liked Danish girls. Because they're blonde a lot. And tall.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : He'd love my sister

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : She's none of those things but she is super loveable

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Nah. He just wanted to get laid. And he did, a lot. Because he was exotic and interesting and spoke a funny English. You know, like me. Except I'm not Chinese.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : I have noticed this about you. I was suspicious but I respect your privacy

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : That I'm not Chinese? My appearance is a hint. There ARE blue-eyed blond Chinese, granted. Just, you know, not a lot.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : I wasn't being racist! it was the speaking Danish I swear

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Though that's unfair, I mean my family immigrated and they could have too. I'm a dick

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Confused now. Speaking Danish is racist? Speaking Danish gets you laid? Speaking Danish does not get you laid? Speaking Spanish makes you a dick? There are not enough cupcakes in my place for these levels of confusion.

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : ... Oh. You meant you noticed I have an accent.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : no I think me speaking right now makes me a dick. I can't put all my thoughts together.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : I didn't get the movie Without a Paddle until the dispensary caught on fire. dear god. they're going to rename the city to Purple Harbor

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : God, tell me about it. I mean, I really did mis-text your father in law and gushed to him about his boyfriend. And then I texted said boyfriend and told him all sorts of crap no one wants to know about anything. And now I'm doing it to -- wait, you texted me.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Also Speaking Spanish has never gotten me laid. Probably because I lived in a Spanish neighborhood.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Look I don't send pictures of my gerbils to just anyone

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Be honoured man

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : That just sounds so... dirty. They're cute gerbils though.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : 😉

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : Well, they are. For a rat and a guinea pig they are achieving disturbing amounts of gerbilness.

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : I should have bought more cupcakes. And wine. I feel like getting drunk and crying into my pillow about how much my life sucks all night. Which is kind of hilarious since my life doesn't suck. I haven't been this high for this long since I was a student. Maybe that's why. I used to feel mighty sorry for myself back then.

(TXT to Ravn) Ignacio : Eh come over if you want. We'll wallow and get over our shit and celebrate what we got cause it's beautiful

(TXT to Ignacio) Ravn : ... I'm bringing wine.