2020-12-27 - Aloha, Europe! (What, they don't say that here? It's a great word!)

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Aloha, Denmark!!!!

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Wait it's Denmark and not Danelandia right? Ravnsberg?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Tally ho, Great Britain?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... Yes, it's Denmark. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some place named Ravnsbjerg but I've never heard of it. I know of a few Ravnhøj places... It used to be a pretty common name, yanno?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Ravnhøj and Ravnsbjerg both look fantastic. Also, hello. Goddag?

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Vyv' been sitting still too long. He's deciding what languages to learn so he can correct people in when they stand in place too long

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : How's England? Murdered any relatives yet? Been murdered by any relatives yet?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Hey, better than how I used to feel about family holidays. I just went to get quietly wasted somewhere.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : If they're standing in the correct place they probably don't need correction.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Or at least not for that. No relatives yet, I thought we could use a day or so grace before the infliction begins.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : This year's goal is less than half a murder. Always aiming for improvement. How are things in Denmark? Nothing rotten?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, my mouth feels kind of rotten. Which may or may not correlate to the fact that apparently I thought it was a great idea to spend last night in Reykjavik blowing my own mind out on an entirely too fancy bottle of whiskey and drunk texting people in Gray Harbor. Consider yourself lucky your name doesn't begin with an A.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Almost wish it did. It was probably amusing. And if not, my phone has a silence option.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Brush your teeth.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, it did involve a topless selfie of Seth Monaghan.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : You see? Already intriguing. Though I note neither 'Seth' nor 'Monaghan' begin with 'A'. Is his middle name Alistair?

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Wow you have me filed under Grant? You're like 1 of 5 heh

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Who are the others?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I have no idea how I managed to get him and Alexander Clayton dragged into that conversation in the first place. I blame the whiskey. But at least now I'm not the only person whose picture without a shirt on is making the rounds in Gray Harbor.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I have you under Purple Haired Skater Kid, apparently. Maybe I should update that. 😆

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It's still accurate. Though I hesitate to ask what you have me under.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : "Vydal Pattisserie Bloke" apparently.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Hm. Also still accurate, I suppose.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I'm not good with names or faces. I often try to enter people in a way that helps me remember who they are, so I don't get them all mixed up. Would you prefer for me to change it to His Grace, the Marquis Vydal?

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : YES!

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Well, factually, at least. One 't' in 'Pâtisserie'.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That is also acceptable, yes.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : His Grace, the Marquis Vydal it is.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Pst, Vydal, I think Grant likes the idea of you wearing a marquis' coronet.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Hm, do you? And me without one handy to test this theory!

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Aluminum foil is your friend. Please take pictures.

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : I amen tis' technically a whole of it depending on teh venue

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Sec. We have things. I can make this happen

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Aluminium foil is my friend when baking; we are not on speaking terms when it comes to apparel-- oh, now look what you've done.

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : I can change your mind on this

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I am not wearing a tin foil hat. Even in coronet form.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I am highly amused and I want pictures.

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : The problem is they don't have aluminium foil. They have Alu*min*ium tho

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... What's the difference? We call it tinfoil over here anyhow.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : How are you even getting hold of some here? Do I need to ask that footman to be less helpful to people who are not me?

(TXT to Ravn Vyv) Grant : Never doubt my squirrely scavenging skills.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... That footman? Literally? What are you doing, having Christmas at court?

(TXT to Ravn) Grant : Now I totally need to make him one don't I? I mean I can weld, why not

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It's just a hotel. The suites come with footmen. They're very accommodating and I may have to register a complaint.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Vyv, you worry too much

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Sounds like you booked a somewhat more upscale hotel than I did. 😆

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I'm not worried, I'm resisting.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I actually thought you guys would be staying with family over there.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : By how much? You're not in the hotel equivalent of a trailer, are you? And we will be, from Christmas Eve. But it's nice to decompress from the flight before approaching the dragon's den. Plus, I thought Bax might like seeing the place. It's where Hya and I stayed back in March.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Eh, by your standards I probably am. I booked a small bed and breakfast place in the Copenhagen suburbs that's basically three bedrooms and a shared bath. The up side of this is that I am not stuck in a high end, central hotel full of Japanese and Chinese tourists come here to celebrate Genuine Danish Christmas(tm) -- or any relatives.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Depends on the B&B. Some are quite nice. Though 'shared bath' doesn't bode well, at least not in that context.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : There's a lock on the door, it's not a bloody hippie commune.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : well that rules out my house lol

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : 😒 Could be worse, I suppose. Bax keeps talking about hostels.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I live in what is arguably one

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : A hostel or a hippie commune?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : you meet peopel and I doubt it's like the movie!

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Eh, I'd have picked a hostel if I didn't know from experience that they fill up in no time on the holidays. I like hostels. You meet interesting people.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Noisy, smelly people. You also meet bedbugs and lice and tiny uncomfortable bunks. Bloody torture might be preferable.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Something tells me you and I are never going to be co-authoring a Scenic Sights and Tour Guide to Gray Harbor, old boy.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : So far on my Eurotrip is that Hostles are called that because that's the feeling they evoke for Vyv

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : See! He met people AND has both eyes still

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I suppose one could argue we might give people a rounded view of the place, but no, perhaps not.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, there are different kinds of hostels. Most of them aren't bad over here, not in the way that they can be in the US where you sometimes can't tell if you're in a hostel or a homeless shelter. That said, not all shelters are terrible either.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It is entirely possible to meet people and get a good night's sleep.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : He also whooped my ass in Mario Kart on the plane. Remind me never to race against him when a primary attack is fruit flinging.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : And retain one's original complement of eyes into the bargain.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : You realise nothing whatsoever happened to me in hostels or shelters for three years, plus a number of times I ran off from home or went travelling before that, right?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : We have the best tub. I'll send you a video of this place. It's pretty badass and low on hostility

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... Okay, I got mugged a few times and there were some unwelcome sexual advances, and I put a guy in hospital once.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : yes but I'm from Gray Harbor and watch too many movies

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : But otherwise just like the Ritz, mm?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : In fairness, potential violence is the least of my objections. Or at least the least likely.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : And we do in fact have a fantastic tub.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Unshared!

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : that's not entirely true

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Keep in mind, though -- the things we do may not be a big deal in Gray Harbor, but out here? I -moved- a fork into somebody's privates once when I was a kid. I'm not really worried about getting attacked.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : All right, unshared with anyone not booked into this suite.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : And indeed, at least share the bloody tub with each other.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Yeah I might get in a fight with someone in those conditions. The hostile hostile not the tub. I mean not that I haven't had an underwater fight fight. You were thaere

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Hell, I might book into somewhere with a jacuzzi if I was planning on sharing it.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That, I can endorse.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : So no we haven't met the family yet

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Except Ginger. She's amazing. I'm pretty certain her super power is knowing where everything is at all times

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Ginger seems nice.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : She also knows where it ought to be.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : My family has no idea I'm in the country and I intend to be out of it before they realise.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : yeah I like her enough to never invite her over to my place. It's a feng shui nightmare

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Ginger is quite nice, yes. She's high on the cousin preference list. Though I suppose that rearranges somewhat based on 'for what purpose'.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Hey! dudedudedudedude you want us to bring you back something from here? We are presently conveniently located

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : How are you entertaining yourself, aside from drunken and somewhat hungover texting?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Eh, catching up on my reading, getting started a little on next year's study plan. And probably texting Hyacinth later, to apologise for being a drunk idiot at her for three hours in Reykjavik.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I need to do some shopping tomorrow, though.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : If she let you be a drunk idiot at her for three hours you must have been doing it at least entertainingly.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : At least I'm a funny drunk?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Worth filing under 'redeeming features'.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : You can't just skate by on looks alone. It's true.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I think I may be a little... It's kind of odd. Big decisions. I'm applying for a residence visa to the US, rather than a tourist visa.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : My sympathies.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I mean, welcome.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Oh that'll be amazing. You gonna stay a boat hobo or what?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Yeah, I guess? I like my boat. Good Ship Cannabis Discowhore and all.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I respect the GSCD. Now.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It has more panache than the trailer.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Although fewer showers, as I recall.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Could get a different one?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Yeah. Am thinking about maybe finding some kind of solution to that. Either a larger boat or more likely, rent somewhere in town that has a bathroom. Would let me put up a couple of bookshelves too. Need to think about that a bit.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Should talk to my cousin. He might need a roommate. Also you'll be farther from the sea monsters. one tried to eat teh casino last summer.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Somewhere in town would likely have more book room, yes. Just keep the boat for special occasions, then?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I thought about talking to Aidan, yeah. And no -- I'd still live on the boat most of the year. My cat likes it there. And seeing as that she is currently the Woman in my life, who am I to argue?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Long walk down the hall, that.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I'm sure I'll survive. It's not like the boat doesn't have a -toilet-.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : He was the refugee from Flashdance, wasn't he? I'd worry about contagion but I think your colour allergy may protect you.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I think we're shopping today for any last minute things. I forgot my scarf. Dammit. V, when we hop out remind me if I freeze in place to grab one.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Also why am I texting you?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Because you want ME to suggest that you get a sparkly, frilly, bead decorated, multi-coloured, tie-dye scarf with little bells on. Just, you know, because Vydal secretly likes unusual clothing.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : We are indeed shopping today. A scarf can be arranged. Ravn, is there anything you want us to bring you back?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : To sell it you have to use the word 'bespoke' though he's informed me 'bescreamed' is also a thing and is apparently in the unacceptable bracket.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Oh, promptly make me regret offering, I see how it is. I'd threaten to bring that back for you except I might have to actually look at it.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Honestly? Nah. I have everything I need in Gray Harbor besides some books that I will be picking up here.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... I might wear it just for you, beybeh.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Then we'll pick something out for you. 😀

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : When are you folks back state-side?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Uhhh 2 weeks I think? We back before NY?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Just for me? Mr. Abildgaard, you'll make me blush. And possibly also vomit, depending on the scarf in question and how lunch has settled.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Remind me to stand outside of spray range. Okay, fine, suggestive flirting to deter people doesn't work for me. Noted.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Ye-es, I think you might often find it less effective than hoped. I'm also surprised that might be news.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, it's not my usual style. Look, I hang out with Rosencrantz. This kind of thing works for -him-.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : So does wearing a neon hoopskirt. My boychik there and pretty much pull off anything because it's a great reason for a fight.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Yeah, I'm... not the type.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Wearing a neon hoopskirt works for nobody.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : The 29th, by the way.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, when we all get back, let's pick up that habit of lunches at the Patisserie every so often. I enjoyed that a lot.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I am entirely in favour of this plan.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Good to hear, Your Grace.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : And reasonably sure if Bax has any objection we can bribe it out of him with cake.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : He'll be on board if he gets to call you Your Grace too.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Gets to, has to, I'm flexible.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I am highly amused by this.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I'm highly amusing. I can't imagine why people don't realise this.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : He will actually make you a coronet, won't he?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Almost certainly.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I feel like I ought to apologise but honestly? I just want a picture. Do I tend him a reference picture so he doesn't accidentally turn you into a count or a duke?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I refuse to accommodate the paparazzi. But yes, one might as well encourage accuracy.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I wonder if it varies between countries? I've never checked.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Although I suppose it's never really come up before.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Are you asking me, as a historian? Yes, it does vary. So does the meaning of the titles. Yours would involve a metric buttload of red cloth for one, the English do love their velvet.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : we can bribe it out of him with cake?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I mean not that that's NOT true, but... yeah okay that's entirely true.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : As for a coronet? :innocent:

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : What, what a coronet looks like? Let me link you to wikipedia. Let me also point out that no one uses these things and pretty much haven't since powdered wigs became a thing. At least not here -- not sure about the English, they do get rather formal over there sometimes.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I know your levers, darling. Several are cake-shaped.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : We can definitely take a pass on any and all powdered wigs.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I have asthma, I'm not going -near- powdered wigs.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : if it comes to wearing itchy things? No

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Honestly? I think I'll stick with jeans and a shirt.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : As headgear? Very avant-garde.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : ... Sometimes, Your Grace, you are a smartass.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Perish the thought.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : 😆 he's hilarious and no one believes me!

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I believe you. I just also get this urge to make fun of him sometimes. Mostly because I can tell he's making fun of everyone all the time. 😉

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Oh by all means

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Lies and propaganda. I am entirely sincere at all times, particularly this one.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I shall also refer to that marquess' coronet as Vydal's personal brand of MAGA hat from now on. Make America Graceful Anytime.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Also, I might vote French for coronet design. Were I to be talked into wearing one. For no pictures.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Vyv are you even French or just via food?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It's the correctly matching spelling there in any case.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : To be fair, the French design is more aesthetically pleasing.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Mostly food. But my mother's grandmother was French, so I suppose, what, 12.5%?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Translated into Imperial that's 'eh, a bit'

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I have no damn idea how much of my ancestry is French. Probably a fair bit. But then, I'm probably related, at some point, to half of Europe.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I'm not on Dad's side the rest I can live without knowing.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I think on the Vydal side it might depend whether one counts Normans. Honestly I'm happy enough to let other people worry about those things. Mostly Grandmama, since she seems to enjoy it.

(TXT to Vyv Grant) Ravn : You know what, Grant? It doesn't matter. I have fun teasing Vydal with his marquis thing, but maybe we Europeans need to back up a little and reiterate that this whole thing is very silly and very outdated, and doesn't actually mean a damn thing in contemporary society.

(TXT to Vyv Grant) Ravn : If you count Normans you and I are probably related. 😉

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Could even be through a Norman count. But yes, I wouldn't be surprised.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Go far enough back and the Normans were Danish. So, we might very well share some shaggy viking chief ancestor.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : (I'm not offering to find out. Family records don't go back to the viking age).

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I'll just keep it in mind in case it seems useful for grandmother-distraction. Meanwhile I prefer to imagine we share a well-groomed one.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Is this the time where I, speaking again as a historian, point out that ACTUALLY, the Norsemen were pretty bloody well anal retentive about personal grooming, and that one of the complaints about them from the English in particular, was that English wives ran off to sleep with them because they BATHED?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Well, wives of the people who would some day call themselves English, etc.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : You're the one who dubbed him shaggy, you know.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : True. I just find the idea of you in particular being descended from some hairy, unkempt bear of a man highly amusing.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : 23&me does!

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I'm not sure even DNA registries can tell if you're related to specific people, 1200 years previous.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Oh, I'm sure if one goes far enough back there's at least one hairy, unkempt bear of a man. Likely several. I'm an improved model.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I don't think I need to take off my shirt to demonstrate how hairy modern Danes are or aren't. That picture's all over Friendzone already as is, and I actually need somebody with a suitably evil mind to help me think up a counter-prank.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Aside from the sweater you came off reasonably well in those, I'd say. But a counter-prank, you say?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : It wasn't my damned sweater. Nor was it my damned horse. But yes. A counter-prank. The war is on.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Look not to exploit a friend but it ain't buggin me at all

(TXT to Vyv Grant) Ravn : ... What's not bugging you?

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That particular demonstration of how hairy modern Danes are or aren't, I believe.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Shirtless pics of you showing up in my newsfeed?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Christ. Did anyone in Gray Harbor not save that damn picture? This is -why- a counter-prank is warranted.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Let me know if either of you come up with a great idea. I think I should probably make like a sensible person and pass out now.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Have you considered trying being unattractive? I hear it's effective against such things. But perhaps a bit much for a prank. If nothing else it splashes over onto far too many people.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I don't think I want to stick my head in a vat of acid, no.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : They'd only crop the picture lower anyway.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I actually didn't save it

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I wore pants. For the bloody record.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : You didn't post it and you seemed upset by it so

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Hm. I'll need to find out a bit more about your picture-poster to think of proper ideas.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Nah, I'm not upset. A bit embarrassed. And definitely going to find a way to get Mac back for that one.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Also for the record, I presumed there was some sort of trousering involved. You don't strike me as easy to talk into horse-adjacent nudity, and if you were why would one crop the photo there?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I think I just died a little inside at the thought. In other news, I'm actually kind of scared of horses. They're rather big, you know?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Oh! Do you do date cakes?

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : We should show up at her store all shirtless on horses

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Extremely. Also very heavy. Cakes for dates with people, or cakes made with or of dates?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Cakes made from dates. I took Mac a date once. Tin foil wrapped. This may be her revenge.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I suppose the important question regarding a counter-prank is: what does she find embarrassing?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I should clearly buy her a date cake.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I honestly have no idea. I don't know her very well. She likes computer games and she's a bit of a social media wizard. Apart from that? I don't really know much about her.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : It isn't something I generally carry in the shop but I'm certainly capable of making one to order.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Well, then job one is clearly research and reconnaissance.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I'm not wholly against the shirtless horse-riding idea, incidentally. I'm not volunteering, but happy to support that from the sidelines. Sidewalk. Something side-related.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I am very much against it as a matter of principle. Horses make me nervous. But we can send Grant in shirtless on one, I'll watch from safe distance.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I was about to say I'm willing to support this as well, but one important question first: Bax, have you ever ridden a horse?

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Maybe we can find him a rocking horse on wheels.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I have ridden a high speed robotic dog, V.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I can ride anything

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Briefly, yes, but I don't think it will have quite the intended effect if you have to dismount the same way.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : ANnd I rode an alien bug

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I will absolutely go shirtless on a horse. Animals love me

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : -side eyes Vydal-

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I don't doubt you're capable of getting onto one and likely remaining there a fair while, what with manes and particularly if there's appropriate tack. I do think the effect might be improved by prior practice, however.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : How am I the one getting side-eyed here?

(TXT to Vyv Grant) Ravn : He just called you an animal.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That was not included in the list of things side-related. And he didn't say only animals love him.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I prefer my interpretation, thank you very much.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : I'm not saying he's not one either 😉

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : I rest my case.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Well. If you'll excuse me, I believe one of you needed to pass out. And one of you ought to be keeping his eyes peeled in case of animal attack.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : Decide which among yourselves.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Arm wrestle you for it, Grant? 😉

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Yeah wouldn't want to miss that.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : You know the last time I arm wrestled someone I went over the table and tackled them to the floor

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That almost makes it sound appealing.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Speaking as the scrawny asthmatic guy, I may have let my mouth get the better of me there. I forfeit.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : This conversations is going places unintended I think lol

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Don't they always.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I've gone worse places.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : (says the man who won't sleep in a hostel)

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : That would be one of them.

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I'm reasonably satisfied with our current destination in any case. Rest well, Ravn. Remember to lock that loo.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : Only when I can lock it from the inside. Sleep well, you two. Enjoy the jacuzzi.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Look we're gonna find something for you in the morning. Send snaps and we'll do the same. Good luck with the scary people.

(TXT to Vyv Grant) Ravn : It's fine. I'm going to pour a shot and then text Hyacinth and apologise for being silly. If you don't hear from me again, she managed to embarrass me to death.

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : Later duder

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : I hope not. I'm fairly sure a genuine fatality would cement her the crown. Best of luck.

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : :violin emojis:

(TXT to Grant Ravn) Vyv : 🍰

(TXT to Vyv Ravn) Grant : (dots but never actually responds)

(TXT to Grant Vyv) Ravn : (most sleepy faced selfie in the history of mankind)