2021-01-03 - Don't Shoot Dr. Pizzatender, Junior

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Taking Tor shooting for his interview

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : how mean can I be? scale of you to Ruiz

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : That's a huge range.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I like to have options

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm going to go wiiiiiith...

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Shit, I'm in the tub with my friend Mary.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Jane. If you get my dfift.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : How about he doesn't leave the forest with any new holes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I can do that. No promises about the job tho

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : You ok?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : If he fits, he fits. If not, he can keep delivering our food through a third party vendor.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Sore. Tired. Long shift.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : But soon: road. trip.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Nothing wearing my mermaid tail in a tub full of bubbles, glass of wine and a joint can't fix.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I can't wait. I've made a mix tape.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Well. Playlist, but that doesn't sound as retro cool.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : It doesn't sound as cool

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I've got everything from ABBA to ZZ Top.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I approve. Are we pre-buying snacks or are we trusting to the gods of the open road to provide sustenance as we make our way?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I mean. Isn't that part of the ritual? The gas station dining on ding dongs?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : it should be. I mean pre-loading with your preferred snacks is one method, or trust falling into the snack aisles of rest stops is the other

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I'm the novice here. But if we pre-load, you need to come with me because I will have zero self control.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yea I vote leave it to the road. We are going to have to go running in the mornings to work off all that junk.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : And Geoff said he'd take Gunner. Which makes me laugh because he'll take up half the trailer.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : OOPS CAPS LOCK

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I wish we could still do the distance juju, you could send me some peanut butter cups.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Aw, aren't we taking Gunner?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : ?? I didn't think so?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I can't send you them but I can pick some up on my way home. Which is kind of like magic.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : very boring but tasty magic

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Fiiiiine. Perfect waste of a service dog vest.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : YOU ARE MY TASTY MAGIC.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : you are high as balls right now aren't you babe

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I might be thinking about getting you a trident to go with my mermaid tail, yes.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Shell bra?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I guess I can crochet you one too? Oh you mean me. It's yarn. Technically the tail is supposed to be an afghan blanket but screw convention!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Also, I'm not driving for all of Kansas, just drinking. So Kansas is all you.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : TWINE! No wait, is there another reason? Twine usually doesn't designatedly drive one to inebriation.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : because it's seriously the worst part of the entire drive. The state might be fine, but driving through it is pure pain

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I will fall on the sword of Kansas. Because that's how much I love you.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Everyone should be required to drive that entire state at some point. In order to vote you should have to drive across kansas

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : So it's like earning a merit badge!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : ha. yes.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : (can I make merit badges?)

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : i'm surprised you haven't started

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Okay, I've passed the point of novelty of wearing a mermaid tail to being in a soggy fish net of scratchy yarn that I think is dying my skin blue. If I'm asleep when you get home, just deposit peanut butter cups directly in my mouth.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Don't kill Dr. Pizza Boy.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Dr. Pizza Boy is now officially Bartender Junior. or Jr Pizzatender. or something.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : sleep eating pb cups sounds horrible

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Dr. Pizzatender, Jr.! Woo!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Girl's gotta multi-task.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : ok, be home soon.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : XOXO