2021-02-27 - Do You Want a Corsage Too

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : ey

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : what you wearing to the thing

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Thing? What thing?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : the thing Hya's throwing tonight

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : The formal Addington dinner thing?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : yeah that thing. so what are you wearing

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : ...to that thing. not right now. that's a different question

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Well, I was thinking jeans and a shirt. Which is also the answer to what I am wearing now. I was thinking of wearing them in the same place too, which is at home. You planning to go rub elbows with the upper crust?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : bruh.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... I'm not an Addington you realise?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you get Hya Addington to ask you out and you're not going to go to her thing?? I thought you were a smart boy

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I didn't get

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : wait what?

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I what?

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Fuck.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : does this schnozz look to you like an Addington? come on, you're not seriously not going to not go. i lost track of the nots there but you get the point

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Fuck.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : come on it'll be fun, you'll hate it, we'll get drunk and regret everything

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I wasn't going to. I mean. Not an Addington. Historian with an interest, yes. But, you know. Respect.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Why'd the Addington clan want some random trailer trash to show up and ask all the questions they don't even want to ask each other.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : well I'm invited and de la Vega's on a night shift so you have to be my date

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I'm surprised.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Maybe I read this wrong.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I thought -- I guess I thought this was going to be one of those suit and tie affairs.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : eh, probably, but who cares, wear something awesome

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Not, you know. Normal people. Like you and me. I made the mistake of turning up once for a thing at Addington House. In jeans and a sweater, everyone else turned up dressed for the bloody opera.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : look you look amazing in anything you throw on, so don't give me this. show up looking like the eccentric genius type you are, she'll love it

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : It's not her I'm worried about.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I mean, I'm also worried about her.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you're not seriously worried about anybody else are you? sure Thorne will probably wear a suit costs more than I make in a year, who gives a shit

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I don't care what Thorne wears. It's his money, he earned them, he can spend them however he likes. I know a guy who spends millions on race horses. Never won a race.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : But you know what Thorne never does? Nor Taylor for that matter?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : so what's it you care about? c'mon, tell tante itzil

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Sit around the Poorhouse in a pair of jeans, get talked to like they're just regular folks by other regular folks.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : yeah, they don't, what's your point

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : The divide is my point. People treat you different if they start thinking that you think you're better than them.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Right.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Disappointing the woman I'm actually going to be going on a date with would be a tactically shitty move, wouldn't it.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : nobody freaking thinks that oh my god.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : yeah, it kinda would, I'm not saying it's a goal of mine to get you laid or anything but can I at least point your gun away from your foot

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : And Baba Yaga, of all the fucking things that could turn up in Gray Harbor, fucking Baba Yaga telling me to stop pretending I'm someone I'm not.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Ugh. I've spent most of my life trying to keep those two worlds separate, you realise?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : so what :clap: are :clap: you :clap: fucking :clap: wearing

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Uh.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Black?

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I bought a new jacket to replace the one that got stabbed and shot.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Please don't make me wear a goddamn suit and tie.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : capital fuckin choice, I'll wear black too, we'll look way cooler than everyone else there except Hya

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : It's her damn party, let her have the spotlight?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : she'll have it anyway no matter what we do lol

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I've only seen Thorne like three or four times but looking like he's king of the hill is a pretty big deal to him and his girl, let them have it? I'm perfectly happy to fade in with the background, you know that.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : yeah wear the new jacket, it wouldn't kill you to wear a shirt with buttons

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... I don't want to. Look, I already struggle with anxieties like a teenage girl at prom. I'm nervous as all hell about this whole date-maybe date thing. Can't I just go like this?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : ehhh I won't make you wear a tie though. I won't wear one either, then we'll both look like we're too fuckin hip

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : selfie

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : shit yeah you can go like that. hey it ain't polite to outshine your date though

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : It's just jeans and a shirt.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you're so goddamn pretty, really ain't fair.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Not you too.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : not me what?

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : With the pretty thing. Turner telling me the same thing. People telling me that I'm so good looking I must be fending off women with a stick. It doesn't work like that.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I didn't say nothin about no stick, you're just pretty, it's an objective scientific fact

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Ugh.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Right. I can go. In jeans and shirt.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : and the jacket

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : And I'll change my name to Ficus and stay quiet in a corner. I suck at formal things. Always have.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a diva. Just, the whole idea of high formal makes me deeply uncomfortable. It tries to force me into being someone I don't like being. I'll deal with it.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you are being a huge fucking diva right now. look, it's one night, then you can go home to your trailer. nobody tryin to force you into being someone you don't like being

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I'm going, I'm going.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you think I show up to these things and try to act like I know what an oyster fork is? at least you know!

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : goddamn right you're going. you're gonna look great, we'll knock 'em dead

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Yes. It's the one you eat the oyster with. Anything beyond that is pretentious bullshit intended to remind you that you're less than the people who took a class in this.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Eat the goddamn oyster with a screwdriver, it'll taste the same.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I never ate an oyster with a fork in my life

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : See?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : fork, no fork, it's still gonna taste like a mouthful of jizz

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : 😆 Ok, I'll take your word for that. Not a fan either though. I feel like, if I need to fight it to get it out of its shell, maybe it just needs to stay in there.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Same deal with snails.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Most pretentious erasers I've ever had to chew on.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Oh. That reminds me. Unrelated, sort of. Kind of.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : It was STRONGLY HINTED to me by a few people that I need to turn up for karaoke sometime at the Poorhouse.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : speaking of fighting to get somethin out of a shell, yes you should

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... I am not a damn snail.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : don't you wanna watch me and the guys get smashed and me sing something crazy sexy to tease de la Vega

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Am a phoenix of flame and fire wallowing in the mire of my self-inflicted misery, thank you very much.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you don't even have to sing, promise

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Well, yeah, actually, I kind of do. So tell me how this works. Because as you say, I may know what fork goes with the oyster but I have no idea how something like karaoke night works.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... Buddy, you and the rest of Gray Harbor better be glad if I don't have to sing.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you show up, you drink a lot, you laugh your ass off when out of nowhere Roen and de la Vega start taking their shirts off

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... They what now.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : hand to God they did

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : We're talking about August "Den Mother" Røn, the calm older guy who has his stuff sorted out and generally serves in a spiritual guide and Veil guru capacity to this screwball community?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I have pictures ::a blurry tilted picture of August and Ruiz both, in fact, with their shirts off. August has a ton of graying body hair, Ruiz doesn't.::

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : ... I cannot argue with this.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : (I can hope to have abs like that at forty plus though)

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : Roen's fucking hot, Ellie's a lucky girl

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I'm luckier

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Speaking from a purely aesthetical point of view, looks like you and Eleanor both hit jackpot.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Right. I'll go with you tonight and next weekend. And I will hide behind you, and I will use you as a human shield, and I will absolutely fucking have all the anxiety attacks in the men's room that I feel like.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : fuck yeah we did. God look at that man.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Yeah, uh, still straight over here. But I wouldn't mind having a figure like that when I get there.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : don't even know what started it, I was smashed as hell, but suddenly they just had to know who was more of a bear

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Look, that sort of thing makes sense after straight scotch number five.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : Roen won, as you can plainly see, de la Vega hardly got no hair

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Dear diary. Today I made a close study of August Røn's body hair.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : hey he won like eighty bucks

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : that's because everybody else started a pool

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Dear diary. Today I decided to become a stripper.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : WHICH REMINDS ME

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you'd make bank

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I needed to ask you about the strip club.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : anyway yeah you can totally have all the anxiety attacks. I'll go with you and we can complain

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : what about it

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : I will.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Anyway. Yes. The strip club. Worth approaching for a talk about low wage, low education jobs for that community centre affair or waste of time? Yes, I know it's a strip club. But floors need cleaned and bars need restocked in a strip club too.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : well, wish I could tell you it's not a waste of time

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Right.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Might decide not to waste my time there, then. It's a bit tricky, finding all the opportunities I can. On the up side, it keeps me too busy to worry about what to wear to somebody's family dinner. Phoenix likes his safe, comfortable, familiar mire. Are you picking me up too, if I'm your date?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : sure will, you want a fuckin corsage too?

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : You mean one of those flower things?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : yeah one of them flower things, they strap to a girl's wrist. just kidding I'd get you the one that goes in the buttonhole instead

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Depends. Am I expected to put out on the first date, or do I get to play coy until the third?

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : you are talking to a guy who never went on a first date he didn't fuck on

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : And you're talking to a guy who never went on a first date he did fuck on.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Christ, man, sometimes I look at our chat history and ask myself if either of us are ever sober.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I MEAN.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Yes, yes, you are.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Me Ravn.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : is that any way to talk to the guy who's gonna pick you up for a fancy date

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : Clearly it is.

(TXT to Itzhak) Ravn : When we leave. After the... whatever this turns out to be. I'm going to need some quality time with a serious bottle of scotch.

(TXT to Ravn) Itzhak : I hear that. I'm gonna too.