2021-03-05 - Three Missing Pieces

Life goes on in a place like Gray Harbor. No matter the hardships, whatever trials the Veil or the Dark Men might put you through. Whatever ghosts haunt you from the past. Life goes on.

The holidays have been terribly eventful for Byron and Lilith, though much of it was spent out of town. Oddly, despite this fact, Gray Harbor bullshit continued to follow the couple. Not so much in the form of Dark Men, but then again, who's to say, right? Who's to say that the bad things that happened outside of Gray Harbor was not at all affected by Gray Harbor or the Dark Men?

Valentine's Day was the real kicker. They foolishly spent it in town. It was such a nice day, almost perfect. But nothing is perfect in a town such as this.

Byron, at least, busied himself with his work, with hunting down information on Grant Turner. All while being reminded that the anniversary of his father's death was coming up soon. Today, however, he was going to ignore all of that. His work. Turner. His father. If he could help it. Today was a day to enjoy... the still chilly wintry weather with a nice walk in the park. The weird racing Dream was a recent development, something that always snuck up on you, but you should've expected it as they often tended to follow some pattern on the calendar. Usually holidays.

Dressed in a thick dark green sweater, layered over a white long sleeved shirt, his long legs are covered in dark denim while motorcycle boots warm his feet from the chill and the odd late winter snow. The sound of the carousel and the laughter of children is heard in the distance. In fact, some of the kids were working to put together snowmen of all things. In fact, there was a bloody 'conjoined twin' monstrosity that could easily be seen somewhere in the distance. The tiny bloodied footprints before it made it look as if the monster just picked up and ate a kid during the night. Pretty creepy stuff.

Standing in line for hot dogs, of all things, to go with their hot mochas, Byron looks down at Lilith and finally decides to bring something up. "What do you even think those race Dreams are about? And why the familiar faces? Almost all the time."

They knew better. That's the thing that bothers Lilith almost as much as everything else, they knew better. They were too proud to leave, defiant through their nerves when the day came. It didn't matter how well their darling little Valentine's celebration went this year-- it was stolen from them entirely last year, it was the worst experience waking from a Dream in Lilith's whole life. She had been gasping for air, unsure if she was even alive, crawling down the hall away from Byron.

She thought she'd die at his hands again. He picked her up instead, because that's what's real. They nursed and melded themselves back together through the trauma. They'd both be lying, though, if they said they weren't still wounded by the whole event in some secret and hidden ways.

They. Knew. Better. This time the Nightmare was all wrapped up like a Daydream.

---

Lilith's been easily annoyed. She's a little jumpy. She's very easily distracted. And she's up too early after going to bed very late, saying she needs to go to the shop, when she hates working that early and generally puts other people on it. Byron doesn't know it, but when she gets to the Pawn, sometimes she doesn't actually start working, she goes up into her loft and curls up to cry sometimes because of what she's dreamed at night. It's silly, it's shameful, you can't mourn for what wasn't real.

It'll pass, it'll pass. It'll... pass. Right?

Byron's question takes Lilith a moment because she's holding the dog leash and staring at some of the snowmen. Maybe that horror show snowman over yonder... but maybe not. It's unclear if she's actually looking at anything, in truth. After a few bats of her lashes and realizing she's been asked a question, the brunette takes a sip from her cup and nudges her foot over onto the white shepherd dog's flank when he starts holding a paw in the air at passer-bys to try and get hot dog attention.

"This hammy ass dog. Sometimes you don't want to have the conversation with fifteen strangers about how smart and darling your dog is. Jesus. Sirius. Stop."

The paw goes down and the dog looks up at Byron for some reason. Apparently, he's realized Lilith isn't in the mood to get him his own hot dog or let him mooch from others, so.... the man with the wallet has gotten the stare while the dog subtle sniffs nose twitches at the food stand.

"Anyway. I don't know. Maybe they aren't about anything except death defying odds and we're being broadcast on some... creepshow television for the masses. Is there an audience at these things when they happen? I can't remember because I have to deal with things like goddamn bird baskets. I am not Cinderella, I am not going to sing at birds to make them do my bidding anymore. I'll just fall in the... the... cake lava. Or whatever fucked up thing wants to kill me that day."

Well then. She probably won't. But that settles how she feels about losing the hell out of the last race.

Lilith wasn't the only one affected by how terribly their Valentine's have been over the past couple of years now. Byron's past had taught him to not only hide his trauma, but to bury it-- so his father couldn't sense his terror. This could very well be the reason why he seems to brush things off easily enough. And also the reason why not even his friends are safe if he feels personally cornered, for they could easily be dismissed to protect himself.

---

Today, however, despite whatever the man may have gone through, he put it all aside to try and enjoy his day. Or, at the very least, make sure that Lilith was enjoying herself. Since Valentine's Day, despite leaving Lilith to her own thoughts while adding silent comfort in his arms after they lost their Dream children, he's never broached the topic with her. And yet, he's been plagued by visions of that night. The Shadow Storm or whatever it was called.

Luckily for Sirius, Byron is the sort to just buy a dog a hot dog without even thinking about it. He for sure wasn't planning on sharing his dog with the dog. "Three hot dogs, please. With the works... on two of them. Leave the last one plain." He even smiles down at the snowy pup. And this was a man who never considered getting pets before Lilith returned back into his life. Pets had never crossed his mind since he became an adult.

"This is why we've never had a Disney Princess who's ever won a race, I don't think." But then, how much does he remember of those cartoons anyway? He watches as the guy behind the stand load up two of the dogs with mustard and ketchup and sauerkraut and whatever fixins he had on hand. Passing along several bucks, he murmurs, "Thanks." Before handing Lilith her park snack, as he carefully unwraps Sirius' dog.

"I think there was an audience. I know that I hear them cheering and chanting. But you know, lava cake sounds good. Might stop by the bakery to pick something up before he head home." To Sirius, he tells the shephard, "Let's go grab a bench, then you can eat." And then they all can eat!

Lilith doesn't really need the leash for them to guide Sirius over to a bench, but laws and such might be a thing, she doesn't know. She wraps it around her wrist with her coffee cup in hand, loaded park lunch on a bun in the other. Then the dog pretty much guides her there while she's eyeballing some kids throwing snowballs somewhat nearby where the chosen bench is. On arrival, the somewhat wolf-touched white shepherd dog sits right down. From there, Sirius automatically lies down with his head on his paws to pretend he's playing patience. His tail can't help thumping anticipation, though.

"I'll really do it. I'll suicide in molten chocolate. That's how they killed kids in Willy Wonka." Yes, Lilith is sure all those kids are dead in that movie. It doesn't matter how many times you tell her the Oompa Loompas saved the day. She says they're just smarmy midgets. Getting settled with placement of her cup on the bench between her legs, the woman unfurls the leash and just lets the animal lie there untethered to her for the time being. He's about to get a hot dog, doggo isn't going anywhere.

"... lava cake does sound good, though. Maybe they can't ruin everything." Sighing, Lilith leans over to kiss at the side of Byron's face before using her mouth to do a much messier job of eating with forward lean over her lap. Her eyes flit toward the sound of a scream and giggles echoing in play across the way.

There sure were a lot of kids out today in the park. Did Byron expect otherwise? With coffee and hot dogs in hand, he strolls on over the bench. Sirius seemed obediently excited, even if he didn't really know that one of those hot dogs really was for him. Even he realized how much colder and snowier Gray Harbor was when compared to other towns in Washington state. It was March and it was still snowing.

"I'm pretty sure I read somewhere," Or saw, he's not sure, "That the kids were let loose in the end. Maybe Charlie saw it from the glass elevator, I can't remember." This was the sort of conversation they would have as children too.

The play screeches that the children were making was something that he was trying to tune out. The tantrums, the squeals of laughter. Settling down on the bench, this sense of deja vu washes over him and he's not sure why. His own hot dog is placed down beside him and lucky for him, Sirius is more behaved than to just attack his master's forgotten hot dog. Perhaps, that's because he's slowly unwrapping the plain dog to wag at the wolf hound's face. The man's a little distracted though, his fingers undoing the wrapper slowly. Even when he's taunting Sirius it's like he's in a trance, drifting through a day dream.

---

He could feel a tug at his untucked shirt, beneath his heavy coat, being pulled more urgently as the seconds went by. It was little Ethan, all bundled up in his his sweater and coat. Byron must have taken him to the park for some reason and right now the little tyke had his sights set on a white wolf dog.

"Daddy! Daddy!" the sandy-haired child tries to get the man's attention, his free hand pointing at some other guy's dog. "Look, a wolf!" He continues to tug.

Byron, however, is currently on the phone, trying to get some time off because... because why? One of the kids was sick, but which? "I just need the extra day. She gets scared when she's sick and I just need the day to be by her side so she can sleep." Which daughter is this? All the while, he's trying to keep the troublesome child from getting too far by grabbing at his wrist, but it's not as if Ethan was planning on going anywhere, because he's still tug-tug-tugging o his father's shirt.

If anything, Ethan tries to drag his father in the direction of the dog, but Byron wasn't having any of it. "Daddy! I wanna wolf! I wanna pet the wolf. Can I? Can I?"

Where was Lilith? That's what was going through Byron's mind now in semi-confusion. He knew what the conversation he was having was about. But why was he at the park with Ethan and not at home with the girls? Especially, if one of them was sick. "Okay." He says this, but he doesn't sound happy about it. In fact, there's a hint of defeat in his voice to go with the strained disappointed in his features. "Unpaid leave..." He knew that they couldn't afford for him to not get paid, so he's mulling this over in his mind.

The chilled air is cut by the sound of a screeching scream. "Daddy! The wolf is getting away!" In fact, the boy seemed hysterical about this because he never got the chance to actually pet the damned thing and soon the opportunity would be gone. Thus the screeching sound. "It goes! DAAAAAADDY." That desperation in his voice.

"Ethan!" He snaps, lowering his phone to press his phone against his shirt, so as to muffle the angry sound. Returning to his conversation, he apologizes, "I'm sorry, I have to call you back later. In half an hour? Is that okay?" What was he going to tell the boss in half an hour?

"DAAAADD--"

---

"ETHAN, I SAID NOT NOW!" Byron's patience was completely gone. He probably had to go in to work. And he had a sick kid at home and a screaming kid right...

After he's verbally lashed out at Ethan, Byron realizes that he wasn't yelling at Ethan at all. Instead, it was one of those little boys throwing snowballs and screeching in delight as he did so. By now, the hot dog was gone. While Sirius was a good dog, if a good snack was being thrust into his face, he was going to take it, even if Byron didn't give him the go-ahead.

The mother of the child hurries over to grab her kid while staring daggers at the multi-billionaire. Look, in a town like Gray Harbor, he may as well have been a multi-billionaire. And she knew Byron Thorne from down the road.

Shit. He would apologize, but he was still reeling in his confusion. Like many of his other bad memories and bad thoughts, he thought he'd swept this one cleanly under the carpet. To be forgotten. He was wrong. Turning to look on Lilith, he murmurs, "I don't know what came over me. I must be stressing over work." Did he actually say the boy's name? His son's name? Right at this moment, he hoped that he didn't.

While Byron drifts, Lilith is tipped into argument about this whole Willy Wonka thing, complete with a conspiracy theory about the guy being a weird pedophile. He didn't just offer kids candy, he offered the trap of a whole candy factory! Also she says the glass elevator is stupid, they could have come up with a better flying thing, don't you think? Luckily he doesn't have to answer or even be listening-- it's a theoretical question and she doesn't expect that the man wants to argue that much about it, they've had this conversation a few times over many years.

Lilith is eating, Byron's mind is elsewhere. The dog happily eats the hot dog when it's pointed into snout range for the taking, excitement replacing that feigned patience. Success! Lilith doesn't notice Byron's mind is elsewhere. Her mind is elsewhere too. It's not quite the same, there's no scenario involved, but the things she's suddenly paranoid about, the things she thinks she's occasionally seeing in the children at play, it's distracting her enough in turn.

---

Pedophiles. How many pedos come to parks? She'll beat a creeper's ass if she sees anyone that looks shady. There's a lot of kids here. That one looks like Violet from behind. Violet looked like Lilith, but her fine, loose baby curls of hair were darker than the woman's rich brunette. It was like Byron's, she knew the difference, saw the ways her mini-me still looked like him in the most beautiful and subtle ways...

It's not Violet. Violet's not real. Should she look at one of those maps to see where the registered sex offenders live? Maybe she will. Why, though? Violet's not real. She's not real, that's not her over there playing. See? She sees. She knows. Violet's not real. She's a hole of absence low in the pit of Lilith's stomach, right along two other existing holes that are gut punches suddenly. One of the girls is complaining a boy broke the rules and is going on-- what's the point of rules in a game if they can't be followed! She's frustrated. He's shit-eating grin knowing he's triggering the hell out of his sister.

Elaine? Ethan? She wants to tell them to stop fighting automatically, she almost does. But when Lilith looks the way of the argument while wiping her hands and finishing her hot dog in preparation to speak, she sees the actual children having the argument. Not them. Not the twins. Not perfect pieces of her and Byron smashed together with love. Not real. Right. Right. She knows that. It'll pass. It'll pass...

---

Lilith jumps as Byron suddenly yells at the kid to ruin some snowball glee. It scares the hell out of her and makes her think she heard him wrong, because her mind was elsewhere, maybe he didn't yell at all and she... oh wait, there's the mother, he definitely yelled. Did he really yell at Ethan, though? She thinks about it and tries to ignore the discomfort churning in her stomach. If he was suffering like she was, wouldn't she see it? Has she been this bad off and distracted? What has he been suffering that she missed to see him snapping out in public like that? He buries, he does, she knows that, it's not her fault, but she should have saw the signs, damnit.

The brunette woman is absolutely and outwardly still with a vaguely dumbfounded and shocked expression, but she doesn't really... react with any words or emotion of her own for him to see. After a moment, she puts her hand out to the dog's head to bid the animal sit again. The creature had jumped up to look around with alarm for any sign of threat, hearing that out of Byron so unexpectedly. There's not any, of course, so mostly the dog looks confused and sits again after Lilith touches him.

"Work, huh." If Lilith sounds unconvinced, she's opting to leave it the hell alone anyway. Reaching over, she rubs her hand at Byron's knee, then keeps it resting there as her other hand lifts her coffee, "Didn't wanna argue about Willy Wonka, anyway."

Thankfully, Sirius doesn't eat the hot dog with the works sitting on the bench just beside his master, even though it probably was very tempted to do so. As a way to keep calm and to pass off his outburst as nothing of concern, he reaches for the hot dog and begins to eat, tilting his head to the side as he bites into what's probably lunch, spilling some sauerkraut in the process. All the while, he keeps thinking about the vision he'd had. Like a dream, he felt it would fade from his memory and then he would need to fight to try and keep the last threads of it from slipping out of his mind's grasp.

The mood was comfortable and the air silent as they finished their lunch. At least between the both of them. The families in the park was as loud and boisterous as ever and the sound coming from the carousel, while a part of their childhoods, there was always something creepy about the ride.

Not that chomping on hot dogs and sipping coffee takes very long. Soon after, they both dust themselves off and with Byron slipping an arm around the woman's shoulder, walks her through the length of the park to burn off some of those calories. The dog trails behind them. During this time, he got to thinking. If the Dream, the one with the children, was plaguing him, it must be doing the same for her and ever since it they shared the experience, he never quite got her to talk about it.

Heading back to the car, he asks, "Want to go for a little drive? We could stop down at the beach. Hopefully, somewhere quiet. We could go hiking in the woods." Both sound like terrible ideas but only because this is Gray Harbor. "Or we can just drive. Actually, I know a quiet place just outside of town. Near the lighthouse."

What a pair Lilith and Byron are-- they share so much, the dark things, the hidden things, the light things, the lust things, why not this? What makes this one too taboo for admitting or talking about?

The brunette woman thinks of what she's going to say in the car, or maybe at home (maybe never?) while walking in silence with Byron's arm around her during the stroll. Her hand is only vaguely in grip of the leash, the white dog is keeping pace obediently on his own. It's not really a thick or uncomfortable silence between them, but it is notable. Maybe they're both just giving each other a time out, a fair time span for figuring out how to feel or what to say. What makes this one so different?

Lilith can't figure out what to say or when to say it. But when Byron asks her where she wants to go and presents some options that aren't home, she decides that for the time being, she doesn't have to say much more than what she says on the way into the car.

"Do I know the place? Show me."

She contents herself with playing a personal guessing game about which place Byron might be talking about, if it's anywhere she knows at all.

At least for now.

With their family all packed up inside of his car, minus the cat (And the kids), Byron starts up the engine, before pulling out of the parking lot and onto the street. If they'd not finished their drinks, they had that to tide them over during the course of the trip, one which takes them past both their home and his place of business: Bayside Road. Every so often, he checks his rear view mirror, but for the most part, his attention is focused on the road before him.

The heat runs to warm the interior for now, though eventually, he'll shut it off once it feels nice and toasty. The seats help to keep the occupants warm as well.

He could bring up what was on his mind. Would it be any less awkward at the location he'd chosen for some thinking time and conversation? What makes this car ride any different? In fact, he licks at his lips at one point, gaze lifted to the center mirror, before half-turning to regard Lilith with his attention. When their eyes do meet, he'll at least afford her a smile, though for some reason, he changes his mind and holds back what he may have been planning to say.

The ride isn't entirely quiet, to help soothe their minds, he turns on some music, letting the mixture of classic rock and jazz play in the background, not cranked up loud enough to disrupt their thoughts.

Eventually, he pulls up to a rocky outcrop. And like he'd mentioned, it was near the lighthouse. There was a little picnic table here as well, but in this weather as it's slightly out of the way, the quiet place is unoccupied. Lilith and Byron had come to this spot as children, though it was a bit of a bike ride to get here. It gave a nice view of the bay and the waves crashing against the rocky shore. Yes, it was still cold, so once they've come to a stop, he goes to the passenger side to help Lilith out of the car, making sure to drape her in a thick coat. For now, the dog remains in the backseat, though at some point, he might consider letting the pup out to wander and sit, unless Lilith decides to open the door first.

"Remember coming all the way out here to just sit on the picnic table and do homework. It was near Tobin's place," Well, it was pretty far out of the way even from there, "So we'd bike it here with an afternoon snack sometimes. When I first returned to Gray Harbor, I'd drive this way every so often just to clear my mind. But really, there's a lot of places within town for that, but the further from the town, the better right?"

Lilith doesn't mind making eye contact with Byron, really, even if she's not saying much. While thinking, her deeply blue eyes are a little far away and not really on him, though there is a moment where they're driving when they are on the man completely. It's nothing like intense scrutiny, the woman just rests her dark head of hair back against the seat cushioning with face tipped to one side while looking at Byron drive. If she noticed he was about to say something, she doesn't let on, but she does reach out to rub her hand over the back of his nearest hand briefly, whether it rests on gear shift or wheel.

Listening to the music, Lilith focuses on where Byron is taking the pair of them (plus dog). In fact, the closer they get, the more she slightly shifts upright to look at the actual scenery in anticipation of remembering why it looks familiar. It's literally on the tip of her tongue when Byron pulls to park, the tip curled up to press into the line of her top teeth while he walks around to get the door for her. Shoving her hands into the coat pockets as it's draped close about her body on car exit, the brunette woman smiles slightly up at Byron, squints, then finally sees the picnic table in the distance just as he recalls the memory.

"... I had forgotten about this place. Not entirely, I remember now. It was like... taking off and biking to the edge of the Badlands or something..." Lilith wets her lips and slips into a lean against Byron, looking back up toward him as she recalls with a slight smile tilting her lips, "No one would bother us here. It felt a little naughty coming out this far too, not because I had rules, but because you did. Defiant? Like shutting the bedroom door in your room when we weren't really supposed to." Suddenly, she breathes out a laugh, "Yet when we got here, we'd do homework. God. We're nerds."

As the laugh trails off, Lilith wonders, "Did you think of me when you'd come here? Were they all terrible thoughts?"

Byron also remembers their coming here even once his curfew was over and he was released from his father's chains. They were around thirteen or fourteen? This was what freedom felt like in his mind probably. He could go anywhere, be out at any hour. He also remembers biking out this way after Lilith walked out of his life. It was a place to smoke and drink and toss rocks over the ledge to try to get out his pent up anger at both her and the world.

Some of that comes back to him now too, especially when Lilith brings it up. But things were different once he left town. He was both disappointed and not surprised that she was gone when he returned home.

Taking Lilith's hand in his, he leads her over to the picnic table so that he can pick her up and seat her on the table top. He then steps onto the bench to prop himself up to do the same, taking his place beside her upon the table for now.

"That just goes to show that we had our priorities straight, once upon a time." He teases her about their doing homework here. Though it's here that she brings up these possible terrible thoughts and it makes him reflect. "When I'd visit here after moving away and making my fortune in L.A.? Sometimes. I'd wonder where you'd gone. How much better your life probably was." The edges of his lips curve upward quietly, "I remember how you would dance on this very table, pirouetting like some ballerina."

Reaching out to drape a hand over her shoulder to pull her into a close lean, he then decides to bring up, "Lilith... How have we been handling things after Valentine's Day?" He doesn't ask how she was handling things, but how they were. As a couple.

Once upon a time, Lilith might have made a dark, vaguely sad quip of humor about life being 'better' for her. It'd be something to hide the shames and pains of how her life actually was. It crosses the woman's mind, of course, but she's kind of a different Lilith now than she was after returning home to Gray Harbor. She doesn't say a thing about it and she doesn't dwell. She's watching Byron with her mouth helplessly pulling in smile when he outright picks her up to deposit her ass into sit on the table.

As he settles in, the brunette woman steals a glance at the table surface behind them before looking back at Byron, "Table dancing might have been a red flag, in retrospect, especially with the trailer park and daddy issues thing." Okay, she couldn't help herself with that one, but it's a much improved version of what could have come out of her in very self-deprecating habit. It's something she's doing far less, starting around the time they moved in together, then progressing. She feels stability and knows she's loved through and through. It's much easier to be kind to herself most days, anymore.

Readily, she's drawn in close against Byron, going thoughtful and quiet with eyes turning toward the bay view, waters hitting rocks.

"... at least we look good while we're lying to ourselves and each other." Pause, "Why do you think we're both afraid or unwilling to talk about it?"

"You took dance lessons." Byron chimes in, the laughter heard in his tone, "How was I to know that you would grow up to brandish a leather whip?" He's teasing her profession, of course. Though even knows how rough her life must have been, especially with the likes of Turner and Laurent making life miserable for everyone.

When he was a teenager, sometimes he'd lie back atop the table and stare up into the sky or just close his eyes and listen to the sounds of waves crashing and gulls squawking, all while taking in the salty sea air and a passing breeze. It was cold right now, so they don't quite have that luxury.

To answer her question, however, it doesn't take long for him to consider. This was something that was on his mind since Valentine's. "Because it was a lovely thought, though what we saw, what we experienced. That wasn't our life, was it?" When he asks this, he slowly turns to view Lilith's pale face and those blue eyes. "That doesn't mean that they don't exist though. Not with talks of alternate universes, if you believe that."

Returning to stare out at the ocean, his mind goes back to the the Thorne backyard where they found countless versions of himself. Would the version of Byron with the kids be buried there? Were they all still alive?

Lilith considers Byron's answer for a long moment, gazing at him while he's speaking with eyes on her. Her expression, while calm and thoughtful, it's a bit strained, like she's visibly fighting the urge to frown with bother. After drawing in a breath, the woman confesses to Byron off of the bat, "I cry in the loft before work in the morning because I don't want you to see. I still see and hear them in my sleep. I see them in other kids, I worry about things I never worried about before. It felt so real at the time, which... isn't new, but it... the fear was different."

The brunette woman tells the dark haired man this once he's gazing back at the ocean again, watching his features before she carries on, "It wasn't our life. I have to say they aren't... real or that they aren't mine... while they still feel real. It hurts. I keep feeling like I'm missing something, my middle aches. I kept thinking it'd stop... that it'd go away... but I knew everything and I miss them."

Lilith has to stop a moment and think on something else Byron has said. She has to change her train of thought or she'll cry because she felt the 'life' of a young and motherly, mellowed and loving Lilith. She didn't carry those children, no, but her mind is making her ache for the missing bond now that she's felt that kind of love, that need to nurture and protect, the pride she felt seeing so many pieces of herself and Byron in those little amazing bodies they made together.

"I... don't know how I feel about... if they actually existed but belonged to other versions of ourselves? Is that better or worse?" Pause, "... am I being sensitive or are you having the same kind of problems? Different?" Byron hardly ever snaps like that in a moment of stress, but... in another life, he might damn well have felt the added stress of not just caring for her and protecting her, but the whole of them. Lilith thought she heard that for a flicker of time.

If anything, Byron didn't expect to hear that Lilith actually cried about the children whenever she went back to the shop. Yes, they'd pop into his mind every so often, but he could easily enough push their memories out of his mind. That is, until today. Today felt so real. So very real. "I wish I'd known, Lil, then I wouldn't leave you alone to suffer like that." And by his tone of voice, he really meant it. "As much as I can imagine myself as a father..." Could he really? After his own childhood? "I never would have expected to have cared for children that quickly." He means, that young. That version of Lilith and Byron were probably still a few years younger than in this reality.

Knowing that Lilith still pained for those children though, he could understand it. Somewhat. They , the children, looked like Byron and Lilith. A perfect blend of the two. If they ever did have children, would they turn out the way Elaine, Ethan and Violet did?

"I won't say that you're being sensitive. I'm not even sure if they are other alternate reality version's of our kids. Or just something made up by the Veil. They felt real to us at the time." Just like what he experienced at the park. "I'm usually not overly bothered by it all. I mean, it does bother me, but we've gone through so much due to the Veil and the Dark Men that I can't let it continue to fester, if you what I mean?" He doesn't want to bring up last Valentine's Day too, but there was that. And just the various ways that the Dark Men tries to crush their spirits.

"But today, while we were at that bench, I don't know what came over me. It was like I was drawn back into that Dream and I had to call in sick because one of the girls fell ill. I was with Ethan at the park for some reason and he just kept... He was just Ethan." He says this as if Lilith would understand. "Then I lost my temper because I was under so much stress. Only to realize that it was all in my head." This is followed by a heavy abrupt , laugh, like a passing of air through his nostrils. "Then I yelled at some kid and I'm sure that his mother will write a letter to the local news station about this." He then murmurs, still somewhat smiling, "Or threaten to call my mom." Who he hasn't seen in a while.

"... you know, you're not in the Thorne Power Suit today, maybe you just looked like some random asshole to complain about over dinner." Lilith has that reassuring news of the brighter side for Byron, speculating as it is. Gray Harbor is not a large town and the two of them look like a magazine cover together often times on accident by way of looks, style, and bearing, so who knows. He might get some stankface at the grocery store, good small town times, eh?

"But yeah. Ethan." Lilith sighs softly with puff of air over her lips before shifting some on Byron's solid body he has her arm drawn against. She's turning some to better regard him, then looks at the man's eyes steadily after he's spoken as much rational logic as can be had over such a thing... and his own wrenching moment of reality-bent experience in the park.

"I should have told you. You would have told me the truth and soothed me. We could have helped each other. But I guess... I was ashamed of not wanting the truth. In a way, the suffering was easier than letting go? I don't know... if that's by design, such a strong lingering. It'd make sense. But you and me like that... in them, I-- it disarmed me too. Now I've heard it all hit the air. I know what I have to do. Maybe talking about what's real puts us back where we belong and hiding only made us easy prey for torture in the aftermath."

Maybe. Maybe not. But it's the first step in either case, isn't it? From here they take care of each other. For better or worse, isn't that how it goes?

When Lilith is finished speaking, she puts her lips rampant with love and passion at his mouth, redirecting all the emotion into what she knows is real.

Lilith was right, he wasn't in his suit and tie. But wasn't there pictures posted of him in that tank top from the summer games? Gray Harbor was also a small town, so that woman probably knew his mother-- Well, if she had a kid Ethan's age, they probably went to school together too. But as Byron didn't recognize her, it was more than likely not anyone in their class. So stankface, indeed.

"If I only knew what the truth was, Lilith. I would have told you something to try and soothe your mind, yes." The man will admit to this. He didn't know the truth. "I mean, I don't want to get our hopes up and say that these children could possibly be in our future. But I'm not going to dismiss the fact that they may show up later. In our reality." It's an odd conversation to have and despite his more dismissive nature of all of this, he was there to experience the joy of being the parent of three beautiful children, living a happy life with Lilith. But the tip off should have been that they were living at the Thorne house... and he would never raise his children there. So he tells himself, despite it being part of his family's history.

"But I agree, talking about it. That's something we should do." He then murmurs, "I don't know how likely it is, but in Gray Harbor, anything is likely... we could even find a therapist to discuss things of his nature. A therapist who knows everything about the Veil." Does one of those even exist? It's a suggestion and it would be some work to find.

As they are both in agreement, however, he openly accepts her hot mouth against his, his arms wrapping more firmly around her as they come together in the chilly March air. Even as the dog watches from out of the rolled down window of the car. However, this was their moment in their spot. Maybe it wasn't exactly their spot in their minds as children, this not being a place that they came to as often as others in town, but there was a possibility that this spot was theirs in some reality.

It feels like one of the spots that could have been momentous to them in another lifetime, something to set the stage for an occasion, a holiday, a proposal of some sort. What if things had things been different as they were in the Dream? Lilith thinks of that for just a moment because she can't help it, pangs for the children that never were (maybe somewhere, somewhen, somehow). But there's a few things that click into place with her mouth at Byron's lips like that, it makes her feel foolish for suffering alone and missing his similar buried issues.

This is her Byron Thorne. This is what's real. And while she may irrationally mourn the loss of something that never really was theirs... she wants this because they made it, hurt and flaws and all. They have their own love story, interrupted, maybe just as strong or even stronger than what could have been without the distances and damages. Lilith's arms come up about the man's neck and she kisses. And she kisses. And she kisses until the dog barks at them to either let him out or hurry the hell up.

In fact, Lilith doesn't even recoil or scoff at the idea of therapy as she might other times. She's too surprised that he... wants to, for them, a new form of safety measure to preserve what they have, perhaps. And that means a lot.

Byron might have been getting only certain pieces of Lilith lately while she hid the hurt away. But he knows he has all of his Lilith that's real... especially once she's murmured against his mouth, "... let's start wedding planning. And when it's warmer, let's come fuck on this table to make a new memory."

That is Byron's girl.