2021-07-06 - Stop Playing with Soggy Hobos...

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : I tried calling three times but signal's been terrible. You are alright aren't you?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : You didn't answer right away

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : If you are stolen by gnomes tell them they're not going to get away with this

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : : Picture of slightly too skinny but well muscled man's chest in open black shirt, partially covered by black, grey, red, and white fur that may or may not be several cats, along with assorted obvious animal bites and blue marks:

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : I am cat sitting.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Have you drowned yet? Please say no.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : My phone's not that good to text you from my watery grave, no. I am not drown.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : That looks painful. Was that the cats or the weasels?

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : The weasels. Somebody tell you about the weasels, then?

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : I hide with the cats when the hubbub downstairs is too much. We have 250 people here. I have seen Frozen about twenty-eight more times than I wanted to.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : : Picture of vicious looking, scarred grey American shorthair: This is Princess Sue, she's my favourite.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : You know I was referring to brain weasels in humor not actual weasels. My god

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : You should be watching Moana. Give people survival skills if they're washed into the harbor

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : So what's with her Highness? Whose cat is this? Why do you have a cat?

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : ... Oh. Well, there were weasels. de la Vega and I shot most of them. They nearly killed a DJ, though. Kailey Holt saved a toddler from them.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Oh these cats? They're cats people brought to the shelter. We told people to shelter cats with family and friends inland and of course half of them didn't. Can't quite just toss them out, you know?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : (SMS pic sent of Hya sitting on a very modern couch with a beagle next to her)

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : You're at Justin's? That must be Caleb?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : I don't know if it's as good as your pic. I can go topless I suppose but I draw the line at being bitten by weasels

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : I am and that is.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : ... I know that sexting is a thing but, uh, I think you're supposed to at least have some dating or snuggling down before you start sending each other nudes.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : I'm sending you the address in case and told Justin that we might be getting you. The one thing I love about my house is that it is very old. Unfortunately with this grade storm? It might have been built by the same lumber cut on the original sawmill and I'm not taking risks of being crushed to death by the very house I spent 11 years keeping standing.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : I think? It's not exactly been relevant to me a lot.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : The irony is too much so I'm staying at the apartment I keep here.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : (sends follow up pic of her sort of snuggling with the doggo. It's not moved.)

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Well, if Justin has the space, I don't see why not? Much as you love your house, you're right -- it's old and it's on Bayside. I hope to God it's all right but if the bay does manage to do some kind of supernatural tsunami? I'll be glad you're not there.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Oh, and before you hear it from someone else: Kailey Holt and I are dating. As announced in front of fucking 250 people, by Everett Woods. I contemplated murder.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Can we help Vyv murder him?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : Thank you. That means a lot.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : Vyv needs no help murdering his arch nemesis. The man has a gold medal in fencing with cutting words.

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : ... That I want to help Vyv murder Everett Woods?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : Also people owuld have to take Everett seriously.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : no, Ravn, that you're concerned about my house. <3

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Oh, no one thinks I'm dating Kailey Holt, least of all Kailey Holt. She did shower me in tea when I told her.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : like she gifted you tea or made it rain?

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : Like she nearly choked on it, and sprayed it all over me and the first aid kit instead. 😆

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : It's your business but as someone that cares about you I'm really uncomfortable with how often you are aggressivly manhandles, bitten and burned

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : and sabbed

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : OMG I'd kind of pay to see that

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : I am too, but -- I knew it would happen? The Veil never bothered me a lot before, I'm far too low key shine to be very juicy. HOPE, however, is giving the dolorphages the finger. They don't like that.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : That's not a bad thought about it.

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : I don't suppose it is within your power to stop being a decent human being until the storm blows over is it?

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : I suppose I could light a few cats on fire, release them in the basketball court, traumatise seventy five kids, and make Mrs Jankowski the happiest woman in Washington State (she hates cats).

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : (I had to steal her little 9mm Sig)

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : (I gave it to de la Vega)

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : (there's something inherently funny about standing in front of an ADA and a police chief both going, hand it over, like I was a five year old who stole a candy bar)

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : You gave Chief a cat...and he's okay with this?

(TXT to Ravn) Hyacinth : That poor poor cat

(TXT to Hyacinth) Ravn : No, I gave him Mrs Jankowski's 9mm Sig before she went to shoot cats with it.