2021-11-28 - Considerate Jerkfaces

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I could have helped you out last night in that text thread but it was so much more fun to watch you struggle

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Go ahead. Mock my pain, Marshall.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Gladly. At least you didn't snap any sexy pics for me in that one.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I am beautiful and my shame is slight, so don't make it sound like a challenge.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I think Ravn is traumatized enough tho

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : yeah, I think that would have broken him.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Haven't talked to him in like 6 months and my drunk brain figured he'd be a good go to. Or I just did eenie meanie minie moe.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm sure you meant to just reach out and see if he was okay, because you are good (and overwhelming) person

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : And totally wasn't going to ask him about his sex life.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : BTW if anyone asks, I'm wearing these sunglasses because I had my eyes dialated, k?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Oh yeah, probably best if you didn't interrogate people about their sex lives.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Of course.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : But.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I don't interrogate!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I ask nicely!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : that's true. We should be good cop / bad cop though in the future. Where you're all: You can tell me. You got a little frisky, good for you. And then I come in with: What's that toe sucker? What kind of freaky-deaky are you getting up to when no one's looking?!

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : OMG who do you think is a toe sucker?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : More people than you would think according to the amount of porn that features it. I don't know feet are just ... feet? I mean sure I wouldn't mind two of them but I don't need anyone elses.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Rub em, tickle em, hell even kiss em but if you ever try to suck my toe I'm kicking you in the face. Probably involuntarily.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : agreed. Also I don't think I could ever stop laughing if someone tried to make that sexy.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I choose the wrong one and I'd get a splinter.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : It's carbon fiber! unless you were thinking of those little wood things that stretch out shoes?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Whatever. Don't ruin my joke.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I will ruin all of your jokes. Always.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : We should take an informal survey. We'll put two tip jars on the bar, and you vote by tipping. Toe sucker vs. Ew.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : That's why I love you.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I'm down with that. So long as I can say 'Ew' everytime some one puts money in the toe jar

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I would be disappointed if you didn't.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Oh! Did I tell you the good news?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Uh. If it was last night. I remember the cold tile of the bathroom floor. Tell me!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I got sucked into a Dream with Alexander, Joseph, Ruiz and Mrs. Leigh! We got attacked by wooden turkey statues and a giant one that bled gravy.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : And that's...good?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yes. It's the first Dream I've had since we 'woke up' with the missing memories. I was freaked out that something terrible was going to come but then.. nope. Attack turkeys.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : I wonder if they were related to the ones that took over the bar last year 😃

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : I forgot about the ghost turkeys. In general we should plan to spend all holidays either out of town or heavily armed and ready to f up any festive-themed Dreams

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : It does seem to be a trend. I killed an elf once. So it went okay I'm assuming? So just life affirming?

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yup. I popped a cap in the last one and no one was murdered. Alexander's off gravy for life apparently but that's probably better for his heart anyway?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Bleeding condiments sounds kinda cool tbh

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Pretty hardcode tbh

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Just think. Need ketchup? prick your finger. Nacho cheese? Tap that vein, bb.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Ugh no. Please. I don't want to eat people's condiment blood.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Who says i'd share!

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Yeah, all you babe. ALL. YOU.

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : BEAMS

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : BTW remind me to disown our friends. No one brought me booze.

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : Jerkfaces

(TXT to Bennie) Easton : In their defense you were already hammered and spent the night in the bathroom. So really it's just them showing how much they care?

(TXT to Easton) Bennie : Considerate jerkfaces